Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Any good marriage counselor or couples therapist will tell you that sex isn't the ONLY thing in a great relationship. Friendship, teamwork, communication, emotional safety, respect, and appreciation are all fundamentally important too. And yet, even when all those strengths are present, if you're not connecting sexually over a long period of time... eventually lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship. To help us understand the most common sexual problems that couples encounter, and how to resolve them, I've invited expert sex therapist Dori Bagi to speak with us on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We'll be discussing:

• Why couples often have differences in sexual desire (meaning one person wants to have sex more than the other) and what you can do about it.
• The role that pornography can play in a relationship —  both positive, and negative.
• Why body image and self-esteem issues are so often at the root of sexual problems, and how you can work together as a couple to resolve them.
• Differences in the sexual response cycle between men and women, and how understanding arousal can help you both develop a stronger sexual connection.
• How to talk about your sexual relationship in a healthy and constructive way.

Hope this conversation helps you find your way back together again... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

You've worked hard, achieved a lot, and built a life that looks great from the outside. So why does it still feel like it's never enough? If you're someone who has checked all the boxes and still walks around with that quiet gnawing feeling that you're falling short, you're not alone. This is one of the most common things I see in my practice: driven, accomplished people who can't enjoy what they've built because the bar keeps moving and the satisfaction never comes. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm digging into why accomplishment so rarely leads to lasting satisfaction, and what you can actually do about it. We'll cover: Why ambition becomes a problem when it's rooted in fear rather than genuine drive The "hedonic treadmill" and why achievement will never create authentic happiness on its own How to reconnect with everything you've already accomplished and actually feel proud of it Why your self-worth and your achievements need to be separated and how to start doing that How to recognize and talk back to that inner voice that's never satisfied with you What actually creates lasting happiness according to positive psychology research Four concrete strategies you can start using today to finally feel good enough With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

Anger Management Help "Anger issues" are a common problem for many people, and in many relationships. So today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I've enlisted the support of my colleague Dr. Georgiana, to share her expertise about anger. Dr. Georgiana is, among other things, an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Life Coach too. She specializes in helping angry people learn how to get to a better place, helps couples communicate and reduce the anger and frustration in their relationships, and I'm so pleased to have her share her "anger advice" with you today too. We'll be talking about:

• What anger really is
• The different ways that "anger issues" can show up
• "Anger Styles:" The differences in the ways that people perceive and express anger
• Anger management strategies, and anger management techniques
• How to control anger in relationships
• How to manage your anger personally and in different situations
• How to deal with anger in other people

I hope that listening to this podcast helps you learn how to manage anger, and find inner peace — both for yourself, and in your relationship. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Everyone has the right to growth, and to feel safe, comfortable, welcome, and understood in what should be the most healing environment of all: Therapy, life coaching or marriage counseling. However, for African Americans, people of color, and other minority groups in the U.S., that has not always been the case. Particularly for black people, getting involved in meaningful growth work can be fraught with obstacles. The time to change that is now. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I've invited my colleagues Anastacia Sams, Teresa Thomas, and Zachary Gaiter to talk about their perspective as black therapists and black marriage counselors. We're discussing:

• The historical influences that have created feelings of stigma or unease for black people to get involved in therapy.
• How the idea of using personal growth for self improvement has not been part of black culture... And why that needs to change.
• How the legacy of racism has led to a culture of concealment about vulnerable topics among African Americans, and how this impacts both individuals and couples.
• "Black Love," the "Superwoman Syndrome," and the impact of prejudice on self-esteem, intimacy, personal responsibility, and empowerment.
• How affirming and healing it can be for black people to connect with a supportive black therapist, black life coach, or black marriage counselor who really understands them, where they come from, and how to help them grow.

We hope you join us today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Zachary Gaiter, M.A., LPCC, Teresa Thomas, M.A., Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT www.growingself.com

Have you been considering a career change? Sometimes, the first, hardest step is getting clear about what it is that you want to do. But even with that clarity, there can be other obstacles that need to be worked through before you can find a career that you love. Questions like:

• Should I go back to school?
• How will changing careers impact my family?
• What career is congruent with who I really am?
• What am I really good at? (And can I get paid for that?)
• Should I take a leap, or should I make an incremental change?
• Should I just focus on improving the career I'm currently in?

How — Or If — To Change Careers Today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have the great pleasure of speaking with a master career coach, an executive coach, and a life coach. She's sharing her wisdom and experience to help you figure out if it's time to make a career change, and if so, find your ideal career and transition into a job you love. Today, we're talking about:

• How to figure out if you're having "escape fantasies" and if so, how to avoid making mistakes in your career.
• The myth of the perfect career, vs what a realistic "career experience" should be.
• Escape fantasies vs making slight shifts
• Differences around career changes between men and women
• The utility of taking a career assessment test, or career placement test
• How to use your dark emotions to illuminate your career truth
• How to manage career challenges unique to different stages of life

No matter if you're a recent graduate looking to get clarity about what you want to do with your life, if you're in an established career that you're feeling dissatisfied and discouraged with, or if you're getting back into the workforce after taking a break, you'll definitely want to hear this great career advice. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Do you know what's standing between you and the life you want? Really? As a life coach and therapist I regularly meet with clients who show up for counseling or coaching, certain that they know what their problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it. Aaannnddd.... the next phase of the work in counseling or coaching is often helping people go further, and dig deeper to understand what the true source of "the problem" really is. (Hint: It is almost never what you think it is). Once that is revealed, we can then move to creating action-oriented strategies that will create meaningful and lasting change. They go from feeling stuck, and like they're just spinning their wheels as they ineffectively chasing after what they think is the solution to the problem, to feeling like they are actually making progress. But the first step is truly self-awareness. If you don't know what's really getting in your way, you can't possibly fix it. Can you relate? If so, you're in luck: Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm walking you through an activity that will raise your self-awareness, and help you "get under the hood" of your inner experience. You'll learn some new things about yourself AND get direction for how to start making changes.  Here's to growth! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Your Relationship Questions, Answered. Today, we're answering your relationship questions in order to give you real help for your relationship. Here are some of the relationship questions I'm answering today: Ms M asks, "How do I know whether my relationship is worth saving, or if I should let this go and move on?" Lisa asks: "Should I stay friends with my Ex?" Mr. T asks: "I'm shutting down with my partner. How do I stop?" Ms. K asks: "I'm afraid that my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable due to his own issues. What do I do?" I mentioned many resources and links in this episode. Get access to all of them on the post for this show: https://wp.me/p6UUlQ-dmt Do you have relationship advice for these questioners or personal experiences that you can relate? Perhaps you have your own relationship questions, self-improvement questions, breakup questions, or career questions for an upcoming episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast? If so, please leave them in the comments! All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

How To Improve Self Esteem How do you feel about yourself? Are you confident in your power to make good things happen in your life?
Do you believe that you are just as good as anyone else?
Do you trust yourself?
Do you feel like you are a good person, who is worthy of love and respect? Too many people go through periods in their lives where self-confidence feels elusive. They doubt themselves. They may feel "less than" others around them. Perhaps they don't ask for what they deserve or don't feel able to take the risks that will move them forward. And as a result, they may settle for less in their relationships, their careers, and their lives. Self-esteem matters. Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Self-Worth Feeling good about yourself (not in a narcissistic way, but rather in a healthy, self-accepting way) is key to having a good life. Yet many people struggle with this, and it is something that we routinely address with our therapy and life coaching clients. So, to help you cultivate healthy confidence in your own life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm joined by two of my colleagues, Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Kathleen Stutts, M.Ed., LPCC, both of whom are experts in helping people heal, grow, and restore their optimism about themselves. We're talking about how to improve your self-esteem, how to create self-confidence, how to cultivate healthy self-worth, and most importantly, how to use the healing power of self-acceptance to (paradoxically) create real and lasting change in your life. We hope this exploration helps YOU on your path of growth and healing, too. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Dating Coaches Get Real. Yes, modern dating can be challenging. For as constantly-connected as we all are digitally, it can still be hard to establish a genuine connection with someone new — let alone someone who's a good match for you. Whether you've been doing online dating, or spending lots of time out and about chatting up attractive strangers you know that dating in this day and age can be daunting. And... I also want you to know that dating, with intention, courage and strategy, also works. There are many great people out there, just like you, who are looking for love — and finding it. Modern dating can and does lead to love.  But there are questions about dating that need to be answered first. Namely, what's the difference between the type of people that modern dating seems to work for, and those for whom love is always elusive? What are the changes that you need to make in your dating approach to get better results? So Why Am I Still Single? To get to the bottom of this, I've asked the person who understands the realities of modern dating better than anyone: Brian Howie, to join me on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Brian is the founder, host and agent provocateur of The Great Love Debate. All over the world, Brian has been amassing single men and women together in the same room (often with some relationship and dating experts thrown in) and then sparking passionate conversations between them all about what is either leading to (or getting in the way of) love and connection. Through these debates, Brian has gained a unique perspective into modern dating as well as a remarkable insight into the specific things that both men and women are unintentionally doing that either sabotage their chances of creating a meaningful new relationship.... or lead them into the arms of "the one." Listen to his expert advice, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.   xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Do Long Distance Relationships Work? Oh yes. In fact, long-distance relationships can have strengths over in-person relationships, and be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. However, to have a successful long-distance relationship, you need to be mindful of a few key factors in order to help you both feel loved, secure and connected although the miles keep you apart. To talk all about how to make long distance relationships work, I've enlisted the support of long-distance relationship expert Brogan Crosby, M.S., LMFTC. We're talking about:

• Why long-distance couples can actually have strengths and advantages over other couples, especially when one or both partners are ambitious and career-focused.
• Some of the unique challenges that long-distance couples face and how to overcome them.
• What the most important factors in making long distance relationships work are, and how you can mindfully incorporate certain strategies to keep your connection strong.
• Strategies to use during the transitional period when you shift from a long-distance relationship to living together (or nearby).

Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and learn how to make your long-distance relationship thrive. All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com