Love Hate Relationship

Alex takes a page from Andy’s usual wheelhouse to discuss director, actor, writer, and activist Rob Reiner. He talks up the highlights of his career, from Meathead Michael Stivic in All In The Family to the 80’s and 90’s heyay of his directing to his recent turns on New Girl and Hollywood. Andy tries to nail down exactly how he pulled off so many monumental movies in about eight years time, and we all agree that The Bucket List is fine, you guys. It’s fine.

Andy talks up one of his other specialty topics to discuss the problematic nature of Modern Military Shooter Games. He goes into his own history with the Call of Duty franchise and the disturbing implications of making escapist fantasies out of real-world adjacent war scenarios. Alex reminds everyone of the difference between shooting stormtroopers and people of Middle-Eastern descent, and everyone fondly remembers GoldenEye on the N64.

For this episode’s Relationships.txt entry, our asker is looking for tips on how to deal with his younger brother, who got kicked out of their sister’s place for being racist towards their even younger brother’s girlfriend. All parties agree that abiding by such dickishness is neither warranted, nor a good idea, Andy suggests laying a hard line, and Alex recommends kindly tossing him the f*ck out to somewhere moderately stable if he’s feeling generous.

Andy takes his love time this episode to bring up a childhood favorite, Brian Jacques Redwall series. He discusses its broad, sweeping chronology, ambiguous but awesome use of animal characters, and how ity taught him to love huge, contained universes. Alex, meanwhile, asks about he dark stuff, like torture, and defends showing kids mature content.

Alex tips his hate to friend of the show, Katie, on this one, who provided both the topic suggestion and a copious amount of research for it. HE begins with his own, proudly complicated take on guns and culture, delves into its varied and largely problematic and examined facets, and takes a moment to talk about suicide. Andy, meanwhile, recalls shooting as a boy scout, and everyone agrees that Charlton Heston sucked.

In arguably the weirdest Relationships.txt question the podcast has ever found, someone writes in for advice on their spouse converting a segment of their home into a retro Taco Bell booth. Andy talks about split finances, Alex recs moving on and reestablishing boundaries after learning that your partner is weird as hell, and there are surprisingly few jokes about chihuahuas.

Andy decides to keep things nice and light to discuss his love of the entire pantheon of mythology. He and Alex compare favorites (yes, we like the Greeks–we’re boring like that), they get into a lot of comparative anthropology, what happens after you die (not us, you specifically, reading this), and of course, a prominent Simpsons reference.

Alex takes his Hate time to try and string together a nuanced take on the importance and influence of the band Van Halen despite what he considers to be their complete suckiness. He talks a lot about the essential nature of Eddie Van Halen’s guitar-playing techniques (despite many to follow doing it better), the shittiness of their song-writing, and how they’re generally just plain boring. Andy offers a very soft defense while also complaining about the Rolling Stones, and everyone agrees that Gary Cherone is terrible.

Changing things up this episode, our question this time is coming from Am I the Asshole? and concerns a landlord wondering if they are, in fact, an asshole for evicting a tenant for not abiding by their vegetarian-food only lease clause. Alex confirms said asshole-ishness to Andy’s delight, and everyone agrees that it’s our duty as Americans to lie to our landlords.

Alex uses his Love segment this episode to talk about arguably the biggest woman of color working in the world of voice acting today, Cree Summer (@IAmCreeSummer). He runs down her extensive career on and off camera, her little-known and under appreciated music career, and teaches everyone about A Different World. Andy helps him count up her roles and asks a poignant question about the difference between actors of color playing different races, and white people trying to do the same.

Andy takes his Hate time to talk about South African electronic remix artist, Pogo. He runs down his homophobia and piss-poor explanations for them, how Andy himself was once a fan until he witnessed Pogo’s gleeful reaction to the Pulse shooting, and draws parallels to previous podcast discussion about drawing lines on problematic artists. Alex, meanwhile, finds a way to wheedle in a discussion of fascism (yet again).

A writer-in to Relationships.txt asks for advice on what to do after her boyfriend angrily asks her why she couldn’t just “hold in” her period when they went on vacation together. Andy breaks with tradition to keep everything brief with a “dump his idiot ass” approach, while Alex surprises no one by agreeing with the end result of dumping, but because he’s a selfish prick above everything else.

Andy takes his Love time this episode to discuss an old childhood favorite, the Power Rangers franchise. He talks his personal history as tiny diehard who fell out with the TV show due to childhood bullying, his incredible crush on Amy Jo Johnson’s Pink Ranger, and even some of his favorite YouTube Resources for enjoying the show if you don’t want to dive into two decades of actual episodes. Alex, meanwhile, discusses traumatizing his entire family with his Ranger obsessions, and everyone remembers the awesome theme song and troubled timeline.

With thanks to friend-of-the-show, David, Alex takes his Hate this episode to discuss everything wrong with “Free Country” rhetoric. He defines his terms through concrete examples, ranging from douchebags who won’t properly undertake COVID protections to Christian Scientists who won’t let their kids get blood transfusions and debates the ethics of freedom along with the notion that it is an inherent good in all instances. Andy, meanwhile quotes either a Supreme Court Justice or a Doctor/Poet (inconclusive), and everyone agrees that anti-vaxxers are awful.

A Relationships.txt write-in looks for advice on how to deal with having received an offer to be a sugar baby, and having a partner who insists on receiving a cut of the profits for it. Andy proves he is a good ally and great person by affirming the okay-ness of sex work, of consensual arrangements, and open communication while Alex completely loses his shit and yells about wage theft.

Alex finally pulls out one of the Loves he’s been talking about on multiple previous episodes, and brings up the comic strip and TV show for The Boondocks. He gives a full history of the property in both formats, discussing the hellish intelligence and integrity of creator Aaron McGruder, favorite characters and moments, and does a terrible Martin Luther King impression. Andy, meanwhile, confuses Tom with Barack Obama and gets to say the phrase “Black Samurai Jesus” more than once.

Andy continues the trend of discussing plague-related topics every other episode or so by bringing in the irresponsible idiocy of prioritizing opening an economy during a pandemic over the lives of the public. Highlights include Texas Lt Governor Dan Patrick telling a TV audience that grandparents are willing to die for the economy, haircut protests, and some personal stories. Alex meanwhile rages along his side with his usual lefty flair, and a sad story of a friend lost to the virus. Wear a mask and wash your hands, everybody.

A writer to Relationships.txt asks how to deal with her boyfriend using the quarantine to write a god-awful opus of a song he hopes will go viral, and wants her support and help with directing an incomprehensible music video for it. Alex offers perspective about not letting your partner be your artistic critic or editor while also mentioning that being a creative means getting criticized, constantly. Andy, meanwhile, recs demanding practical solutions to this music video idea, and everyone agrees that only Queen can put opera into a grungy rock song.

Andy uses his time this episode to talk up his singular favorite YouTube series, the long-running video game review show, Zero Punctuation. He highlights some favorite reviews to emphasize the special kind of dark, unique, biting, mean-spirited humor he’s so enjoyed over the show’s 13 years of production. Alex, meanwhile, reminisces about Resident Evil, and the two of them only briefly take a tangent to complain about problematic white dudes who can’t apologize for themselves.

Alex goes broad on this Hate to discuss his loathing for the fetishization of hyper-productivity, especially in the time of the quarantine. He takes the time to tell you about some horrible productivity tips he saw in researching this (which will get no links, thank you), and Andy horrifies him even further with his and his friends’ stories of off-the-clock labor and needing to “justify” a paycheck in obtuse, awful ways. No larger point, just relax, y’all.

A Relationships.txt write-in comes to the internet with a tale of her boyfriend who refuses to accept that he is, in fact, not 5’11. Andy recommends a barrage of third-party adjudications to force the short man in question to face objective reality, while Alex (as a fellow short man) recommends a barrage of mockery, complete with the necessary Tom Cruise jokes.

Alex takes his Love segment this episode to talk about the arguably slept-on Canadian pop star, Carly Rae Jepson. He and Andy work through her life an career, from a third-place finish on Canadian Idol to a subpar Taylor Swift rip-off debut to a decade of spaced-out but unquestionable bangers. Andy admits that he confused her for years with Miranda Lambert and Alex somehow shoehorns in references to Disturbed, Tom Hanks, and his own depression.

Andy punches as upward as he can to talk up his hatred of maybe the most famous comic book character of all time, Superman. He and Alex talk about the stories that actually work (spoilers, they exist, but there aren’t a lot of them), Andy gives some hot takes about the Max Fleischer cartoons and Man of Steel, and Alex gives a pitch for making a good Superman movie and a better Superman comic.

A flesh-and-blood listener reaches out this episode to ask how to deal with quarantining with her ex now that they’ve broken up, but are still on the same lease. Andy extols the virtues of practical boundary-setting while Alex suggests that maybe there’s nothing so bad with breaking contracts in awkward-enough situations.

For episode 45, Alex and Andy attempt a deep-dive into what they consider one of the root causes for everything wrong with American politics, the Two-Party System.

Andy begins by getting out of the way the how there TECHNICALLY aren’t only two political parties, and why that EFFECTIVELY isn’t the case, before digging into how this system is responsible for voter apathy, low turn-out, despite being formerly praised in the early years of the Republic (and even works in a reference to Transmetropolitan).

Alex then gives a historical perspective on how going all the way back to Washington’s administration, two parties are all that have ever really been available, the ever-present division of power between those who feel power should be centralized at a federal level and those who prefer state and local organization, and why even that doesn’t cover all the realistic bases.

Throughout the episode, they reference an excellent Vox article titled “Why America’s 2-party system is on a collision course with our constitutional democracy.” They also reference the concept of the Overton Window (and a horrifying Glenn Beck novel butchering the matter) and Representative John Conyers of Michigan and his ongoing effort to pass a bill to study reparations (apologies to the congressman whose name Alex forgot during recording.

Finally, Andy concludes with a message of hope for bettering each other’s lives and being kind to one another while Alex offers a compromise between being pragmatic in federal elections and putting energy and votes towards other parties at the local level.

Andy spends his Love this episode talking up Danish actor and master of the villainous look, Mads Mikkelson. He delves into the well-knowns and little knowns of his career, including his star turns in Casino Royale and Rihanna’s “Bitch Better Have My Money.” Alex meanwhile contextualizes why some actors take certain roles over others and finally tells Andy he’ll watch Hannibal.

Alex tries real hard to talk about his Hate of Nostalgia Parties without totally ruining everyone’s fun. He zeroes in on the worst offenders (Plantation Weddings, obviously), and looks to give an idea of what it’s like to dress up like it’s the segregation era as a person of color. Andy is appropriately horrified and everyone agrees that Paula Deen is awful.

A Relationships.txt write-in sees a confounded boyfriend of Latin American heritage wondering how he should deal with it when his white girlfriend calls him racist for poking fun at her dislike for jalapeños. Andy tries to be generous and encourage open dialogues between loving individuals, while Alex gives an angry primer on race theory.