Love Hate Relationship

Alex takes his turn at the Love this episode to talk about one of his absolute favorite movies of all time, 1984’s Footloose. He and Andy sift through which parts of it are ridiculous 80’s cheese, and which are subtle, nuanced performances and writing choices. There’s also a lot of love for John Lithgow, the entire soundtrack, and sweet, sweet little Willard.

Andy once again dusts off his cloud-shaking fist to talk down to the genre of Mathcore. He explains what it isn’t (Math Rock), what it is (filled with screaming), and why he thinks it doesn’t qualify a music. Alex meanwhile, reminds everyone (again) that he’s a jazz fan and takes an opportunity to talk way too much about Cannibal Corpse.

For those who care to dive in, here’s the link to Spotify’s The Sound of Mathcore playlist. Best of luck.

This episode’s question comes from Relationships.txt (@redditships) and has an engaged couple dealing with one person struggling to deal with the fact that their significant other’s gay, male best friend was her ex back in high school. Andy tries to have some understanding and recs maybe postponing the wedding while Alex gives a brief moment of credit to compromise before just getting ALL CAPS ANGRY about this one. See the original post here.

Andy breaks in this episode to talk about the Netflix original animated series, Big Mouth. He and Alex defend it in the face of a fair amount of anecdotal criticism over the weird animation style and the gross-out humor, discuss how damn educational and witty and body-affirming it is, and even touch on the modest controversies it’s drummed up (with casting, not with the skull-fucking of a beheaded Garrison Keillor–that’s just fun for the whole family).

Alex goes full-on petty this episode to discuss his distaste for the British Monarchy. He and Andy talk about its Nazi ties to its colonial ties to its plain old fiscal irresponsibility, all while admitting that they both really freaking like The Crown on Netflix.

A listener writes in asking for square one tips on how to make a good first impression on a job interview. Alex gives ways to get past the generic and shitty boiler-plate questions, Andy explains how to dress for maximum impressiveness, and even closes out with a hopeful note for all of those who don’t necessarily work in the field they wish they did.

Alex finally breaks his embargo on music-related topics to talk up who he considers to be one of the most underrated rappers in Hip Hop, Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott. Alex calls out all of the sexism, body-shaming, and club-jam snobbery that keeps her out of most GOAT conversations, Andy discusses his own Top 5 at the start, and shout-outs are made 2015’s forgotten hero, Left Shark.

Andy goes serious to discuss the fires that are still raging through the Amazon rain forest, particularly the way that the media and a lot of the public has just kind of moved on already. He talks its origins as ordered by Brazilian President and Noted Shitheel, Jair Bolsonaro, the scary-ass numbers regarding acreage, time it’s been burning, and dieback percentages, Alex issues a casual media challenge for listeners, and both of them beg you to read up on the situation here, donate to organizations trying to help here, and look up and call your congressional representatives to demand they fucking do something here.

Changing things up a little, Alex and Andy have decided to pull a question that was posted to the relationships.txt Twitter account (follow them at @redditships). The original tweet is here, but short version is the OP wants to change careers and become a teacher, but is worried about what her SO (who hates teachers on a deep, near-irrational level) will think. Andy thoughtfully contextualizes the matter in light of her stating he’s her first love and remind her that she’s looking to go into a noble profession, and Alex tries to reinforce to everyone that mutual respect is essential while he himself tries not to explode with rage.

Andy takes the love section this episode to talk about one of his (and it turns out Alex’s) favorite childhood sci-fi book series, Animorphs. They talk about how despite being written for younger audiences, it still managed to hit on hard science fiction concepts and frank discussions of war, child soldiers, and philosophy. Andy talks about being scared of some of the more evocative covers and how the complex drama of the David Saga hooked him in, while Alex just HAS to bring up war crimes and the one time the characters meet Hitler.

Alex goes pretty left of center (pun intended) to discuss what he sees as the extremely troubled trend of guillotine fetishism and murdering the rich rhetoric in contemporary politics. Andy does a real-time Twitter check for the term “guillotine” to somewhat horrifying results, Alex offers a series of mea culpas for his own gross forays into this realm of humor, and he even learns that frequently, he is not nearly as funny as he thinks he is.

For the second time in Love Hate Relationship history, a listener writes in with an update to a previous question. To hear all about Jon Snow and his awkward parentage situation, check out Episode 26. Alex and Andy are brightened to hear that things have gone (mostly) well for him, and offer some absolutely unsolicited advice about taking his time meeting his biological father. A better ending than Game of Thrones in every way.

Love Hate Relationship finally circles enough around itself to make a podcast a topic for its podcast (McElroys notwithstanding). Alex’s love this episode is Scottish comic book podcast, House to Astonish. He talks about how much mileage and longevity it’s gotten out of simply being two incredibly smart and funny people talking into a microphone about a topic they are both ridiculously well-versed in, Andy explores the notion of enjoying something while getting that it’s maybe not for him, and both of them try their hand at HtA’s famous Official Handbook game. This is a nerdy one, kids.

Andy dusts off a personal vendetta to talk about the state of Florida and its now-nonexistent film incentives. He talks numbers about how film production lives and dies by these tax credits, just how much the collapse of Florida’s Film Industry can be laid at the feet of the Koch Brothers (spoilers, pretty much all of it), and we all have a good cry for Andy’s finances.

For further reading/listening, check out this Deadline article about how the Kochs destroyed the Florida film industry, this Bloomberg piece on Netflix potentially pulling production out of Georgia/maybe into Florida, and these two episodes of Behind the Bastards about Charles Koch being a piece of shit.

NOTE: This episode was recorded prior to the recent passing of David Koch. Out of respect for the dead, we’re airing this as recorded, and not choosing to redo it with lots of airhorns and celebratory mariachi music. You’re welcome, Koch Family.

Today’s question comes from a college-age listener (because we have those, apparently) getting ready to move into a coed living situation, and his girlfriend is expressing some discomfort at the notion. Alex talks about the need to just straight-up have direct conversation or confrontation, Andy discusses details to consider or have in mind prior to that conversation, and everyone learns an important lesson in waiting to make the perfect Don Knotts reference.

Andy comes to the table this episode to talk about one of his favorite albums of all time: Meat Loaf’s 1977 debut, Bat Out of Hell. He and Alex discuss its early stages as a Peter Pan-inspired stage show, the weird and wonderful writing of composer and songwriter Jim Steinman, Andy’s crush on background vocalist Ellen Foley, and both of them turn in their music nerd cards following a humiliating bet they somehow both lose.

Alex takes his time to discuss his hatred of major awards shows, singling out the Oscars in particular as the blueprint for how awful the rest of them are (plenty of Grammy shots taken as well). Andy talks about the saddest Oscar party he’s ever thrown while trying to nail down the exact definition of “Oscar bait,” and the unbearable (old, straight, male) whiteness of being a corporate taste-maker rears it’s big bald head once again.

This episode’s question comes from a listener in her late twenties asking for tips on finding some quality healthcare providers to see with her fancy sort-of new insurance. Alex reminds her that just because she goes to see somebody doesn’t mean she needs to stick with them if they’re bad, and that criteria lists for what you want and don’t want from the folks poking at your insides is never a bad thing. Andy meanwhile recs location-scouting and just making a choice already.

Alex takes the Love this episode, and uses the time to talk up all-around Internet Darling, Kevin Smith. He and Andy discuss the ups-and-downs of his turbulent movie career and how he’s parlayed that into work in TV, comic-book writing, and a truly outrageous number of podcasts. Alex highlights his being a fan and a good dude in front of everything else in his public persona, while Andy calls out a lot of hack film people who all want to be the next Kevin Smith.

Heads up, in this episode, Alex says he’s going to link to a video by Mr. Sunday Movies about Smith’s cancelled Superman movie script. Unfortunately, that video is no longer available (copyright issues, we guess), but check the channel out anyway because they’re great.

Andy takes things in a more serious turn to discuss the subject of the Armenian Genocide, specifically how little known it seems to be in the public American consciousness, at least compared to other, more movie-friendly genocides. He talks about the film The Promise, and how a discussion about it opened his eyes to the issue, Alex laments the state of political education in the US, and they keep System of a Down jokes to a minimum.

Link here to the Washington Post article Andy references regarding the campaign by Turkish reviewers to tank The Promise before its release, and a hearty recommendation to look up the Armenian Genocide beyond the primer given in this episode.

A listener writes in freshly having graduated from college and moved back home to find that his parents’ new dog reacting more than a little territorial to his presence. Andy and Alex disagree a smidge about the whole “rub his nose in it” approach to managing some of the grosser responses and agree that communicating with management (meaning parents) is important.

DISCLAIMER: Andy experienced catastrophic audio issues at about the 4:50 mark, after which his voice sounds more or less like an old-timey radio-show phone call-in. If you’re one of our die-hards, we sincerely apologize for the momentary drop in quality and promise you that we’ve rectified the issue and all will be back to normal next episode. And if you’re a new listener, for the love of god, don’t start with this one.

A not un-desperate at this point in the recording Andy brings in the Love with a discussion of everyone’s favorite lasagna-loving lazy cat, Garfield. He waxes nostalgic about reading the old comic strip, talks variations on the character ranging from the Garfield and Friends cartoon to Garfield’s Pet Force, and a discussion about the nihilistic implications of Garfield Minus Garfield gives way to Andy introducing Alex to another fan reinterpretation (if you feel brave, Google the words “I’m sorry Jon” with our warning that you probably shouldn’t do it at work or while eating–or just don’t and listen to Alex do it in real time).

Alex takes his Hate time to get good and angry at the very existence of the 24-Hour News Cycle. After a brief history lesson on both how news reporting went down in the olden days and how the founding of CNN and its later imitators changed the industry, he and Andy discuss the fallout of profit-driven media companies trying to maximize viewership while cutting resources for actual reporting, how much time we’re spending watching the same poorly-informed takes on the same stories, and how the culture of crappy takes for the outrage and the views has infected non-TV news media (and the boring-but-important ways to cultivate a good media diet).

Today’s listener writes in with a question about how to approach a friend for whom he’s falling hard, but who is going off to college soon. Andy gives some kind words of encouragement to get out there and talk feelings, Alex offers up his own story dating a friend, doing long distance, and it working out pretty well, and everyone agrees that making a porno would probably be a pretty weird next step for a new couple, unless you’re into that, we guess.

For what he promises will be the last music-related topic he pulls for at least the next few episodes, Alex is using his time here to give some attention to his favorite professional songwriter, Desmond Child. He discusses his history of writing music for everybody from Aerosmith and Bon Jovi to Sisqó, Katy Perry, and Ricky Martin. Andy learns about the weird heterogeneous nature of American pop songwriting and the two of them make fun of KISS. A lot.

Andy gets his shaking-a-fist-at-a-cloud face on to dump on what he believes may be the most ludicrous idea for a reality show ever, Paradise Hotel. He gives Alex the weird, gross pitch, they admit to other horrifying examples of reality TV they’ve both consumed, and everyone agrees that when Rock of Love is somehow less terrible than any other show, it deserves to be cancelled.

A listener writes in for advice on how to deal with the results of his at-home DNA test, the results of which seem to suggest he may not actually be biologically related to his father. After Andy offers a crapload of reassurances about how blood isn’t necessary to be family (and Alex doubles down on this being the case and how anyone who says otherwise is wrong and awful), the two of them work out a road map to mourning, confrontation, guilt, and hopefully acceptance.

As promised to said listener, here’s an Atlantic article titled “When a DNA Test Shatters Your Identity” to give him some context. We also encourage him and anyone else struggling with issues like these to check out our Resources page to seek help, because it’s out there and we love you.

For their 25th episode (and one-year anniversary), Love Hate Relationship proudly presents the first-ever Triple Hate Special, all about that bastardly bastion of religious rectitude, Scientology.

Alex takes the helm at the start of the discussion, opening with a brief-ish rundown on the pre-founding-a-cult life of L. Ron Hubbard, told mainly through his lies. Highlights include his time as a real-life Eagle Scout and completely fake student of a Blackfoot shaman and Chinese mystics, his hilarious turn as an idiot naval officer, and the discovery that his talents for bullshitting people could earn him a decent living as a pulp science fiction author, self-help guru, then millionaire messiah.

Following this, Andy picks up the story with Scientology in its current state, from it’s horrifyingly expensive entry requirements to the literal torture-prison it runs for all of its dissidents and enemies to the abuses of its current leader, David Miscavige, and the weird little navy they run for their most hardcore practitioners.

Special shout-outs to Leah Remini’s A&E documentary show Scientology and the Aftermath (link to the A&E website where it’s free to stream and available on Hulu and Amazon Prime at time of release). Also to iHeartRadio and How Stuff Works’s podcast, Behind the Bastards and their three-part episode on the life of L. Ron Hubbard (link to their site, and also available wherever you stream podcasts–please also check out their recent two-part episode on Hubbard’s final years, released after recording). Their work was instrumental to our research, and you should absolutely go check them out for yourself.

Finally, a personal note from Alex and Andy, we want to thank you for listening. Whether this is your first episode or you’ve been with us from the beginning, we’ve delighted in the last year of making Love Hate Relationship and have zero intentions of stopping. Your support has meant so much to us and so here’s to another year of loving, hating, and woefully unqualified advice.