Love Hate Relationship

Andy takes an opportunity this episode to cover one of his favorite video games of all time, 2011’s Skyrim. He talks about its expansive gameplay, the hours of time that he’s managed to put into it, and the impressive culture of mods that has kept interest going for all of these years. Alex contributes by talking about his Tetris addiction and enjoying the image of Randy “Macho Man” Savage being turned into a fire-breathing dragon-monster. Seriously.

Pivoting to a topic that he’s sure will be taken with nuance and respectful dialogue, Alex spends his Hate portion talking about all of the reasons he loathes the United States’s national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” He attempts to do so not by focusing on its contemporary controversies, but rather its poorly understood origins, its terrible, unsingable (British) melody, and the missed opportunity of great American musical traditions that could take its place. Andy learns a little about the War of 1812 and briefly kinda pitches Europe’s “The Final Countdown” as an alternative anthem.

Our question this episode comes from a white listener looking for advice on respectfully getting his Latin American soon-to-be in-laws to butt out of his and his fiancee’s wedding planning, and stop scapegoating him for the effort at doing so. Andy advises some unity measures, Alex gives some cultural context and a bit of hopeful nihilism, and they talk a a surprising about the criminally underrated movie, Fools Rush In.

Alex begins this episode with a discussion of Librivox, an entirely volunteer-run digital library of free-to-access public domain audiobooks. He talks about how he has used it to catch up and/or stomach a lot of the literary classics he either missed or couldn’t get through in the past, Andy tells some touching tales of listening to the Harry Potter on CD and finding Nathaniel Hawthorne boring, and they ruminate on the loveliness of there being something so pure and sweet on the Internet of all places.

Andy brings in his Hate with a discussion of the recent trend of Disney live-action remakes. After running down a truly concerning list of past and upcoming ones, he dives into his concerns of their lacking creativity, adding little or nothing to the mythos, and inspiring personal arguments with his own loved ones. Alex, meanwhile, goes down a history lesson on Disney’s creative past, and they both try to decide whether Pinocchio or Stitch would be more nightmare-inducing rendered live.

Worth noting: This discussion is distinct from our previous one on Vapid Movie Reboots in general, and if you don’t believe us, we invite you to download it here, listen, compare, and yell at us afterwards.

A listener writes in to ask for advice on how to have a fan relationship with an artist when you know and believe that they’ve committed horrible acts (specifically, Michael Jackson, and specifically referencing the recent documentary, Leaving Neverland). Andy discusses taking allegations in a documentary at face value, Alex tries to get super-nuanced about drawing ethical lines, particularly regarding the work of dead people, and everyone is reminded that there’s never anything wrong with believing victims or making choices for yourself others may not agree with.

Andy starts off this episode with a combination public and personal history for his favorite hockey team, the Tampa Bay Lightning. He delves into their founding, a story complete with mediocre performances and Japanese mob connections (really), their eventual ascent into top-tier status through a combination of gimmicks and historically good playing, and Andy’s own personal connection to them dating back to his Colorado childhood. Alex learns a whole bunch about hockey and makes fun of various funny-sounding names, so it’s a wonderful experience for all.

NOTE: This episode was recorded some weeks ago at a point in the NHL season when the Lightning were riding high on an incredible season. They have since experienced what Andy has referred to as the greatest upset in the history of hockey and he believes this discussion jinxed them and caused their defeat. Alex find this very funny and thinks you should know that.

Alex takes his turn at the Hate wheel to yell at Auteur Theory, and everything wrong with attributing works of art, especially movies and music, to singular artists. He and Andy discuss its history, the often abusive, ego-maniacal men typically given the label and use it to justify terrible behavior, and how its use downplays the contributions of other essential collaborators who don’t get their proper due.

A shout out that is regrettably missing from the discussion should go to Lindsay Ellis and her excellent video essay about Auteur Theory through the lens of Michael Bay. Her entire channel is worth a look if you’re into fantastic, funny, and accessible film criticism, and we’re sorry we forgot to mention it audibly.

This episode’s question comes from yet another of our dear listeners dealing with a problematic coworker, this one so prone to fits of rage and disruption, it’s making her consider leaving a terrific gig she loves. Andy tells his own story of dealing with a rage monster of a colleague once, both offer reassurances, and Alex encourages doing the personal self-work to forgive oneself for making a change like this (and offers a Hail Mary idea for the hell of it).

Alex opens this episode’s Love segment with one of his and Andy’s favorite comedians working today, the ever-precocious John Mulaney. He discusses Mulaney’s master-craft attention to detail as a writer and performer, Andy makes a lot of the fact that he seems to be bringing back an older-school style of comedy (and wears a suit!), and the two of them touch on the weird commonality Mulany seems to share with Dane Cook along with the his hits and misses with other projects like Oh, Hello On Broadway and his terrible eponymous sitcom.

Andy aims high on this episode’s Hate segment and calls out Toxic Masculinity in all of its over-arching totality. He and Alex discuss the individual messaging that they received about boys and men being allowed to cry, the evolution of language in discussing the concept, two very different pictures of masculinity presented (entertainingly enough) in a Logic video, and recognizing how far we’ve come in addressing it and what we can still do (spoiler: not much but not nothing).

Our question comes from a listener who has disliked their best friend’s partner for years without telling her, and is looking for assistance with finally telling her. After Andy does some admonishing for their somewhat high-falutin’ attitude, he and Andy remind them that while it’s okay not to like people, that the relationship with their best friend should be the focus and sometimes that means bucking up and dealing with some folks.

For only the second time in LHR History, Andy and Alex are recording together in the same room, and Andy kicks the occasion off by talking up arguably the greatest fantasy author alive (suck it, Martin), Neil Gaiman. They spend a ton of time talking about his comics, specifically the masterpiece that is Sandman, his forays into the mediums of prose and TV writing, his funky Alice In Wonderland pastiche, and the hilarious story of his very first book deal.

After such a lovely journey into an artistic master, Alex follows up with a raging take down of one of contemporary Hip-Hop’s most successful and godawful acts, Post Malone. He and Andy discuss Malone’s lack of dues-paying and disrespect for the genre, the vapidness of his writing, his legitimate gifts for hook-writing, and what his success embodies for rap music’s place in the cultural zeitgeist.

Shout out to Jeff Weiss (@passionweiss) and his Washington Post article
“Post Malone is the perfect pop star for this American moment. That’s not a compliment.” It was instrumental for this segment. Also, for color that was unknown at the time of recording, looks like following the article, Malone and his family harassed and encouraged harassment of Weiss online, so an extra “fuck you” to them. Hope we said it politely.

In our second The Office-related call sign (see Episode 2 to hear us help out Jim Halpert on a totally unrelated, we’re pretty sure, issue), a listener writes in for advice on dealing with a domineering, unfocused coworker inserting herself into situations she has no professional business with. Alex and Andy come up with gentle call-out strategies and warn against the dangers of losing patience and control in the face of deeply annoying human beings, especially at work.

Alex revels in opening this episode with discussing the Amazon original series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. He and Andy dive into the amazing character relationships and casting for this weird period comedy-drama show (Alex Borstein and Tony Shalhoub get particular shout-outs along with star, Rachel Brosnahan), its superb writing (especially the stand-up comedy scenes), the fact that Lenny fricking Bruce is a recurring character, and even Alex’s one major nit-picky criticism of it, and how it still manages to even turn that into a kind-of strength.

Andy gets nebulous on this Hate section, bringing up his recent gear-grinding experiences in dealing with car repair, and all the ways that he’s felt woefully unequipped to handle them. He and Alex, of course, turn this into a deeper discussion of the skills gap, people giving Millennials crap, what parents should and shouldn’t be expected to teach their kids, poverty, and the usefulness of YouTube as an educational source. If this were a lesser podcast, there’d be a pun here about buckling up for this one, but we respect our audience just a little too much for that.

A listener writes in with a “What should I do?” regarding his girlfriend, who recently requested that they go on a break, but with whom he still lives and sees regularly. Alex begs him to communicate and get some damn clarity, boundaries, and definitions while Andy gives some horror story examples of how this kind of situation can go down without action.

Andy starts our latest episode off with a discussion of his favorite contemporary music act, Coheed and Cambria. He and Alex dive into their history, their somewhat unique blending and bending of genres outside of the traditional prog metal with which their associated, and the very fact that they are something of a concept band, with almost all of their albums and projects tying into a an extended sci-fi universe narrative (including comics and a folk-electronica side project). Even if you’re not familiar, listen in just for the lunacy.

Alex continues the discussion by yelling about one of the newest banes of internet and public discourse, the New Atheists. He goes to extensive pains to differentiate this particular movement of arrogant, bigoted hate-goblins from your ordinary, everyday nonbelievers, and his own troubled and checkered history with their works and worldviews. Andy learns way more than he probably needs to about different shades of irreligiosity, is reminded of the Richard Dawkins South Park episode, and is all-around very sweet as his co-host breaks down a little.

Alex’s wish finally comes true as a listener writes in with a pet-related relationship question, asking how he can quiet down a new dog in a new place so as to not make life terrible for his new neighbors and their new baby. Andy talks a whole lot about acoustic foam and reaching out a friendly hand while Alex realizes just how much he’s bitten off and how hard it is to chew.

Alex opens this episode with a discussion of one his favorite musical instruments, the bass guitar. He talks its history, how essential it is to so many genres of music, and its ridiculously inaccurate reputation as basically a dumbed-down, easier version of the guitar. Andy and he talk about their favorite bassists and even find time for an impromptu, research-less, barely there GOAT discussion.

Andy comes out with this episode’s hate tacking the millennial specter of student loan debt. He brings up what the economists have to say about the looming bubble of debt and how an entire generation is now putting off marriages and home-buying as they deal with the ball-and-chain of monthly payments, and he and Alex segue into the stack of lies and broken promises they were fed surrounding college. It’s a downer, but an illuminating one at least.

A listener wrote in for this episode with potentially the darkest question we’ve ever received, asking how to possibly salvage their relationship with a grandfather, who in the aftermath of his wife’s death, has taken to lashing out and pushing everyone away. They talk about the potential for commiserating over grief and mourning, and the possibility of that grandfather never getting over what’s happened, and passing away himself without the kind of reconciliation our listener is hoping for. This one’s heavy, kids. Gear up.

Andy kicks off this episode with the first director to make an LHR appearance, the Mexican master of monsters, Guillermo del Toro. He discusses del Toro’s work including his early Spanish-language pieces (The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth) to horror-fantasy blockbusters (Hellboy, Pacific Rim), to straight-up Oscar-winner The Shape of Water. Alex tries to summarize the thesis of del Toro’s catalog while also mentioning the other artists he’s repeatedly worked with while Andy gushes over everything from the visual style to the aesthetic to political undertones, and even some about the man’s non-film work.

Alex comes in strong (pun unfortunately intended) to rail on his hatred of the Bench Press, arguably the single most popular weighted exercise in both gyms and popular culture around the world and, he argues, the stupidest. After a quick lesson on the Bench Press’s surprisingly short history, he details all of the danger and relative uselessness of the exercise, Andy is horrified to learn about how grisly the injuries involved can be, and everyone comes away with plenty of science to throw at the gym-bro who won’t stop asking how much you bench.

In a query that once again illustrates how under-qualified either of Alex or Andy are at this stuff (seriously, we can’t stress this enough), a listener writes in for advice on how she can halt the advances of a close older male friend. While Andy tries to consider the feelings of all parties involved, stressing over-communication and (hopefully) safety, Alex repeatedly interrogates the reasoning behind even keeping a friendship where situations like this occur. Stay safe and listen to peoples’ No‘s, y’all.

After the tremendous experience of our Triple Love Special on Robin Williams (available here), Andy and Alex have decided ten episodes later to try it again with another tragically passed fixture of joy to the outcasts, the incomparable David Bowie.

They ground everything in a lengthy, tangent-filled rundown of Bowie’s life and career, from his early education in art, dance, and music, to his burgeoning attempts to make it as a songwriter, to his eventual success and all of the good and evil it did him all the way into his later years.

They devote a long, carefully constructed (especially for them) segment to Bowie’s problematic turn in the 70’s towards fascist iconography and his character of the Thin White Duke, what can be looked at in context, what can be excused or not excused because of time period or deteriorated mental states, and whether latter-life apologies and acknowledgement for bad behavior deserve to be considered.

They also gleefully recount their favorite Bowie anecdotes, from how he permanently dilated one eye, to his inadvertent contribution to the invention of British Punk Rock (spoilers: it involves the Sex Pistols and arguable grand larceny), to his willingness to forego royalties on Under Pressure purely out of spite, and talk about his surprisingly extensive catalog of movie roles and support for newer artists.

Once more, no Hate or Relationship segments: just Andy and Alex discussing what David Bowie meant and means to them, the man’s stories, the work that helped shape them and countless other fans, and even a list of their favorite Bowie songs at the end. Even if you aren’t a fan, they hope you’ll give it, and Bowie, a chance.