Love Hate Relationship

Alex takes the episode way down into the quiet and cerebral with a discussion of the OG nerd game, Chess. Andy reminds him of some fond and beautiful memories from their pre-LHR days, Alex gets equal parts technical and sentimental, and somehow, they also find room to say way too much about Scrabble.

Andy keeps it topical by hating on the various forms of mass panic we’ve all seen and are seeing, ranging from the current COVID-19 hoarding measures to how Floridians always seem to panic at hurricane season. Alex reminds everyone to ask who profits from your panic, and there are infinite reminders to everyone to WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS, YA NASTY….

Relationships.txt once again supplies this episode’s question with a young woman writing in about how she believes after he’s come in and proved such a positive, stabilizing force in her otherwise tumultuous life, she believes she’s fallen in love with her brother-in-law. Therapy again takes center stage as Alex discusses the difference between love and fixations and Andy continues being a gem by reassuring her about the wonderful qualities she can bring to a healthy, less icky future relationship.

Andy takes his episode time to talk up arguably the single most popular topic LHR has ever discussed, pizza. He gives some history, including the surprisingly class-based politics surrounding its popularity, and he and Alex argue about which of the fast-food pizza chains is the best (spoilers, it ain’t Papa John’s).

For the first time since he didn’t quite defend Nickelback Alex flexes his contrarian muscles to call out the needless, lazy hate heaped upon CrossFit. He gives some back story and definitions, his own handful of legit criticisms of the larger entity, and Andy tells the most horrifying story of a married couple/workout partner arrangement maybe ever.

Another question from Relationships.txt, and the asker is looking for advice on how to stick to their guns about keeping finances separate from their partner even though their financial situation has changed. Andy reminds them that in marriage, taking care of a partner should always be first and foremost, and Alex attempts to blow apart the notion that not talking about money will stop money from being a problem.

In an LHR first, Alex begins the episode talking about a poet, and starts his segment with a reading of “Aubade with Burning City” by Ocean Vuong. He discusses Vuong’s short but meteoric career, what his unique identity and backstory means specifically when combined with his amazing gifts as a novelist and poet, and what an educated refugee/genius means in the age of Donald Trump. Andy meanwhile, enjoys some kinky Instagram posts, and everyone gets their poetry on.

Andy uses his time to delve into a somewhat personal, somewhat universal hatred for Oracle founder and generic billionaire, Larry Ellison. He mentions how Ellison’s “business as usual” actions have had real and lasting consequences in his own life and family, and the idiocy of owning entire islands and planes that aren’t even legal in your home country. Alex zeros in on why we shouldn’t give billionaires a pass just because they aren’t as cartoonish as Jeff Bezos, and he and Andy discover that rich kids really can live out all of your dreams.

This episode’s question once again comes from Relationships.txt and sees the asker looking for a way to get her entire family together for her birthday when her parents have decided to shun her sister for owning a dildo. Everyone agrees that the parents suck, the sister is awesome, and that family togetherness is overrated when certain people don’t act right.

Andy comes back hard from the hiatus to talk about arguably the most beloved sci-fi franchise of all time, Star Trek. He relates his generational connection to it and makes a plea for the Utopian vision that it presents. Alex, meanwhile, talks about how dumb and bad the comparisons to Star Wars are, and everyone agrees that Wrath of Khan is the best movie.

Alex segues into a different technological topic, specifically his hatred for quantized drumming. He explains it using the reflectively uncontroversial (at least, online) subject of auto-tune, and how it kills any sense of groove or humanity from guitar/bass/drum styles of music. Andy, meanwhile, makes very reasonable points about the ease of computerized music-making, and the all American Rejects somehow get talked about more than anyone expected. (Shout-out to Rick Beato and his video about quantization in the Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker” for being an indispensable source. Follow his channel for all your music education needs).

Relationships.txt once again graces the podcast with a gem of a question from Ron Stoppable, whose girlfriend elected to get an enormous tattoo of his face for his birthday. Alex attempts to be measured while discussing the clear disconnect between Ron’s partner and a knowledge of social norms while Andy literally uses the phrase “stuck your dick in crazy.” Great time for everyone except the asker.

Hey y’all,

Terribly sorry, but for the first time in about a year-and-a-half, we’re gonna be missing an episode. Andy will fill everyone in, but a confluence of illnesses, travel, funerals, and assorted crap have meant that we’re finally behind schedule enough to be late on one of these.

Thankfully, we have the bet audience on the Internet, a back-catalog of 39 other, mostly fantastic episodes, and we’re already working on our next one.

See you all February 18th, and as always, tell your enemies.

Alex & Andy

Alex takes his time this episode to talk up Man Bags. He discusses their practicality, the contents of his own (spoilers: mostly charging cables, allergy meds, and weapons), and why it’s weird as hell that carrying stuff is controversial to some. Andy meanwhile mentions the time he almost lit himself on fire and gives a passionate defense for kilt-wearing.

Andy brings everything down to discuss the cesspool of escapism that is contemporary meme culture. After a brief primer on the history and concept of the “meme,” both philosophically and colloquially, he expresses his discomfort at the nihilistic sadness of World War III and climate destruction jokes in the face of our very harsh realities. Alex stands up a bit for nihilism, but still manages to somehow bring it back around to the alt-right.

A listener writes in for advice about moving out of their parents’ house for the very first time. Alex extols the virtues of mentally cutting oneself off from the idea that our childhood homes were ever really ours to begin with and Andy reminds them to prepare for the very worst when it comes to roommates, but also lean into the good stuff. Also, a lot of talk of Marie Kondo-ing.

Andy starts this episode off with a segment on his favorite war-centered anything, the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers. He discusses its remarkable cast and the ways in which it succeeds and comes up short presenting the realities of war in a compelling narrative while Alex takes the opportunity to defend the miniseries as a format and dissect why World War II is the “easy” war to make media about. Also, there’s a Captain Planet discussion that goes on entirely too long.

Alex uses his chunk of the clock to talk about planned obsolescence in all it’s myriad forms. He gives examples ranging from electronics to cars to horrible, horrible HP printers. Andy takes entirely too much grief for his cell phone situation, and everyone agrees that unfettered capitalism is just the worst.

Our question this time comes from relationships.txt (@redditships), with a poster writing for advice on peacemaking after her brother lost a sparring match with her much stronger and more well-trained (and reticent-to-fight) boyfriend. Alex wastes no time in insulting her obviously terrible sibling, Andy recommends frank but compassionate talking, and there’s even a reference to pocket sand.

Alex takes his Love segment to discuss Loren Bouchard and Jim Dauterive’s Bob’s Burgers. He talks up the brilliant cast, how the show has kept fresh after 10 seasons, and mistakenly refers to the character of Marshmallow as Cinnamon (all apologies to the BB super-fans). Andy mentions his crush on Kristen Schaal, and everyone reminiscences about the glory years of The Simpsons.

Andy uses his Hate time to talk about what he considers to be one of the cheating-est sports teams in history, the Patriots. He runs down a list of their scandals (shout out to Your Team Cheats), both run-of-the-mill and unique to this franchise, and admits that his dad may have had a point when he yelled at the TV, screaming that everyone sucked and/or was cheating. Alex meanwhile is very proud that he remembered what Deflate-gate was, and puts a price tag on his own ethics.

This episode’s relationship question comes from our favorite Twitter account, relationships.txt (@redditships), and has someone writing in for advice on dealing with a romantic partner that is afraid to come over because they fear the house is haunted. Andy recommends playing into the superstition and looking up rituals while Alex implores a probing of this believer’s inner life–and of course, Andy questions if his own apartment might be haunted as well.

Andy gets literary for this Love segment, and brings in one of his most formative and favorite books of all time, J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. He talks about his personal connection to it as a memento of family-bonding, how influential it’s been to the fantasy genre, and how just friggin’ good it is as a book. Alex discusses his struggles with the larger LOTR series (despite a good experience with this one), and only makes one joke about the recent movie trilogy (spoilers: it involves Sherlock).

Alex takes his Hate time to discuss the cultural obsession with Six-Pack Abs. He gives a brief anatomy lesson to highlight their functional uselessness and an only-marginally gross explanation of the dangers of chasing them, while Andy chimes in with more than one Schwarzenegger drop, and a surprising Joey Buttafuoco reference.

A listener writes in this episode for advice on whether or not he should reconnect with his deceased mother’s estranged biological father. After taking a moment to warn about the potential ways it could end poorly, Andy and Alex are actually both uncharacteristically positive, highlighting the minimal risk for potentially great gains (none of which will hopefully involve having one’s feet dressed by John Turturro).

For episode 35 of Love Hate Relationship, Alex and Andy are proud to welcome Twitch-streamer, uber-nerd, and longtime friend of the podcast, Matt Caulder, for a Triple Love Special all about the X-Men.

They begin with a discussion of how each of them came to awareness and appreciation of the franchise (spoilers, the 90’s animated cartoon, and its excellent theme song feature heavily) and how that childhood fandom blossomed as they began reading comics. There’s a healthy dose of realism as they wade into the decades of continuity and the mixed quality of the comics and cartoons over the last several decades (shoutout to Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men), discussing the highs of the Claremont, Morrison and Whedon runs opposed to the Silver Age or the infamous Chuck Austin period, and how the X-books as a set can be viewed as a smaller representation of the comics industry as a whole.

They also talk favorite characters, with Alex going on a bit of a tear about his favorite African Weather Goddess, Matt talking up the most quintessential member of the team in just about any period, and Andy giving a certain swashbuckling blue elf his consideration–also, lots and lots of Gambit love.

Finally, because it wouldn’t be LHR without it, the group takes a minute to address the more problematic aspects of the franchise, from myths about its conception as a civil rights allegory, to its clumsy and troubled attempts to reflect real-life struggles of marginalized people without properly representing them, and all of the ways its let us down as fans. They close, however, with a hopeful look to the future of the franchise as Jonathan Hickman enters a new era of the comics and the MCU looks to fold them into the universe in the coming years.

Be sure to follow to follow Matt on Twitter and Instagram, Facebook and YouTube, and check out his Twitch channel where he hunts shiny Pokemon and is generally awesome. Also, have a look at Comic Book Herald on his recommendation for all of your comic book info needs, X-Men and otherwise.