Why are elephants big? What is comedy? The girls put all their burning questions in the pink kitten ‘handbag of doom’, while Kate and Matt look back on their last 14 days of isolation in this, the final podcast.

As the Dysons start to properly lose the plot, Kate is convinced there’s a ghost in Ted’s bedroom…

Matt tries to wrap his legs around Cosmic Yoga, Kate lobbies to turn the shed into a virtual pub, and the girls get creative with toastie fillings in the kitchen…

Camping in the garden shed with Kate and the girls – featuring face-masks, Truth or Dare, and possibly Northamptonshire bears. Meanwhile Matt, who refuses to camp in April, braves spiders in the loft, and picks up cat poos on the lawn.

Matt is missing male company. After Kate catches him hiding in the car to watch old football matches, he calls Dave Berry for some male bonding and he and his brothers enjoy a half-naked house party which cheers him up no end. Meanwhile, Kate orders new clothes that no one will see.

The Dysons charge outside for a one hour walk in the wilderness. But Matt’s cut-throughs are leading them in circles. Will they make it back in time?

Matt does dance classes with Oti Mabuse, and may or may not be threatened by Joe Wicks. Meanwhile Kate goes back to her sick bed and fantasises about turning the back room into a soft play area. Her vision did NOT involve DIY lilos or going to hospital. Do not try this at home.

Kate’s Mum and her Facebook friends hit peak boomer and Ted chooses the worst time to drop his nap. Matt and the girls scoot to the corner shop while Kate gets lost in the madness of conspiracy theories…

Out of the house! The Dysons have never been so excited about a trip to the supermarket, Kate can’t stop talking to the checkout operator, and Matt is horrified to create ‘wine-ageddon’ with the rations.

“I gave birth to all the kids, wrecked my body, now you put out the bins!” With a day to go until the Dysons are allowed out for their one hour, state-sanctioned, socially distanced walk, tensions are running high over housework. Now you can also email the Dysons! Get in touch: [email protected]