Love In Your Life

What are the things we feel judged about? Have we to comply

with societal norms and expectations? Should we not all feel accepted for

whoever and however we show up here, regardless of what most people feel is

"best?"

The Laws of Trust, Honesty, Tolerance, Gentleness, Joy,

Defenselessness, Generosity, Patience, Faithfulness, and Open-Mindedness are

listed among the ten laws that Jon Mundy mentions as the "laws of

happiness."   

These terms are self-explanatory. We can all understand the

value of living with the guidance of what these terms represent. 

The highlight of what I see to be apparent in being

"assessed" and that which is gleaned from reports that are generated

following the assessment process, is that in acknowledging ourselves we allow

for the "other." As I see

myself more clearly, I am open to the personality differences of another. And

as I open to both, I accept and honor differences in both.     

Now there's a path to happiness!

What are your ideas about your best work? What do you decide about those ideas? Do you explore them or do they get stored somewhere inside, as you push them away because you don't have the time, patience, or trust that it's worth pursuing?

If you are stuck in a work-life that feels wrong, you do need to pay attention. Listen to the tugs; they are connected to a knowingness within you. We say we have a "gut feeling," an intuition. I like to think of it as our heart trying to have an intimate conversation with our head.

We are not certain about this thing called passionate work. We know what seems to have meaning to us individually, uniquely. But maybe there is "purpose" and meaning in work that is useful. Maybe we grow into the passion for our work because we feel an alignment with the value of what we do for work.

Exploring these ideas has created an opening in my own thinking, in my personal beliefs about meaning and purpose in the work that we do. Maybe we create more stress with this idea of finding passionate work, seeking work that is purposeful. Maybe all work is meaningful and it is up to the individual to see the purpose in the work. After all, everything depends on how we choose to see it, doesn't it?

Wayne Dyer once said, "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."

How do we do that---change the way we look at things?

I believe that it all begins with who we are Being...are we leading with self-love, self-respect, self-awareness, and acceptance or are we totally being influenced by external factors?

COVID has caused so many of us to reconsider our options...we have become more insistent on not only what we want to do but also how we want to do it. It is not unlike having experienced an involuntary job loss, in the sense that this change presents an opportune moment to reflect on what we really want. It's a gift, a blessing under the guise of a "problem." It depends on how we look at it, right?

Amber didn't get to her happy career spot without some detours, even as she may not characterize it that way. She remained mindful, with every choice she made, of potential options all along her path. She intuitively maintained a "contingency plan" that accompanied every career move. Why? Because she had her eye on a goal...one of satisfaction in all the ways that were important to her.

Listening to her, I could not help thinking about how and why we couldn't all be blessed with that level of self-awareness. Even when we begin not knowing what we want to do for a career, how can we step forward into one thing, learning along the way, paying attention, to what we like and what we do not? How do we prevent closing the door to other possibilities?

Amber's story is inspirational. It teaches openness, self-acceptance, courage, and persistence. That's what we hear, what we learn from her. She knows that anyone can get to the work that is meant for them if they pay attention along the way and make adjustments accordingly.

When you are aware of who you are, it generally leads you to understand your own motivations. That generally results in your awareness of others. So how and why is that important enough to discuss?

We are told, often these days, that social intelligence is something that can be developed. The reason we might want to improve in our own level of awareness is to enable us to have a degree of compassion for ourselves, which then naturally leads to being aware and understanding of others with whom we live, work, and play.

Engaging in a self-assessment process can be informative but not in the acquisition of brand new information kind of way. It's more like in the acknowledgment of what we already know, so it's more confirming and validating. We smile in acknowledgment of what is being revealed to us on a report about our personality and interests.

And there are residual benefits of going through the assessment process. These benefits are inevitable and helpful. The reports allow us to extrapolate to others, mostly those with whom we live, work, and play. In accepting what is true of us, we somehow end up clear about how others may differ and how we might accept what is true about them.

It is personally rewarding to experience self-acceptance in the client and even more exciting when they understand the value of how it translates to acceptance of the other. It's "I'm okay, You're Okay," which is a beautiful thing.

Whether we recognize it or not, we each have a philosophy. If we don't see it now, we will acknowledge it one day. And this life investigation leads us to be a certain way, which then leads us to do certain things. It leads us to the work that we choose, the person we decide on for our life partner, and whether or not we procreate.

We need to be what makes us happy. When we are experience happiness, it is contagious and we bring that wherever we are. It's infectious.

It's our responsibility to ourselves and the universe to be what is our purpose and that which is entirely in line with your philosophy. So, how does that happen?

Is this "radical reflection" something reserved for a segment or for all of us? We all want to live meaningful lives, have a purpose for our time here, and be happy. Recognition of our personal philosophy can help us get there more efficiently.

We speak often of the nature of our work. Do we like what we are doing, and if not, why? How can we move into work we enjoy?

But there is another aspect to the work we do. There is the leadership and the corporate mission and vision. There are other employees with whom we work each day. These two aspects represent at least fifty percent of the reason we may experience a level of happiness with our "work."

We might even decide against leaving a job for higher income because of how content we are with our boss and co-workers. After all, money is not everything.

How is your company culture? What are the things you look for and prefer in your boss and the people with whom you work daily?

It is another factor to consider in making choices.

Have we honestly considered taking on our career by remaining open and present to what is and what comes to us? Is there a sweet advantage to adopting this outlook for ourselves? Is this a matter of letting go of judgment about what we "should be and do" and comparing ourselves to others?

These are questions that I believe are worthwhile to explore. We owe it to ourselves to live the life we were "meant to," which can only really mean that which leaves us feeling a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. There is no resentment here nor is there a comparison to any other. It simply is self-love and self-care with a sense of service.

I think when we judge, whether it is ourselves, another, a situation, or a job (as one that is "beneath" us, for example), we lose opportunity and possibility. We may discount viable and even wonderful prospects.

Something to consider.