Love In Your Life

We hear the term "mental health" an awful lot lately. What does it really mean to be mentally healthy? Here's what the research says about mental health:

• It is a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his/her abilities
• He/she can cope with the normal stressors of life
• He/she can work productively and fruitfully

I can't help but see the correlation between knowing who you are and what you want to do in life with mental health. If we simply consider what self-awareness provides us, we can easily imagine how that might contribute to a healthy self-image. A positive self-image gets us the level of confidence necessary to make life choices that make sense for our ultimate happiness and success.

And this all correlates easily with emotional intelligence, as self-awareness is the first component of an emotionally healthy individual.

It seems every teacher is a continual learner. As they acquire new information, particularly what is pertinent to their teaching, they first assimilate it for themselves and then share the new learning. In other words, they tune in to remain current and relevant.

We are all teaching and learning every day, even if and when we are not conscious of it. We don't need to be in the position called teacher, do we?

So for me, I learn when I read and I learn from my students, colleagues, friends, and interviewees. What I received from our last guest, Joe, was the importance of paying attention. Holding a vision, he stepped forward with confidence that as long as he headed toward that picture of what he wanted, he could land in a desirable space. And he did.

Whether we are new to the job market or transitioning, it is to our benefit to heed the message of paying attention, having some sort of a vision for ourselves, and then heading in that direction. That's what we learn from Joe's story.

Trust plays in as well. And that's facilitated by this idea of attention and vision. To quote another favorite--"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined" (Henry David Thoreau)

There is an adage: Do what you love and you'll not work a day in your life.

Joe Kreuz embodies this better than anyone I know. So how did he manage to do what evades so many of us?

Listening to Joe tell his story makes me think that he did a couple of things. First, he paid attention early on; he was definitely self-aware. He had a vision and a model in his own father. He started out with a general idea and went "confidently in the direction of (his) dreams," in the words of Henry David Thoreau. And then, the universe "conspired in helping him achieve" those dreams, to quote from a beloved book, The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho).

Perhaps no one is surprised that Joe is a people person who has cultivated relationships that he says will last a lifetime. But clearly, he has weathered storms during his career, just like all of us. Covid was another hit just this past year. Here again, he credits his wife and a great partnership with helping him through those times--clearly two critical relationships.

Tune in to hear Joe speak with the ease of someone who neither takes himself too seriously (his words) nor takes his success and happiness for granted.

Just as intellectual intelligence is known as IQ, so too is the measure of emotional intelligence known as EQ. If we understand exactly what emotional intelligence is, then we also recognize how EQ is part of the answer to solving the world's problems.

Consider that each human being is either aware of their emotions and can manage them or they are being run by them. Here's the definition by Daniel Goleman: "...(EQ) refers to the array of personal-management and social skills that allows one to succeed in the workplace and life in general. EQ encompasses intuition, character, integrity, and motivation. It also includes good communication and relationship skills." So, if you are not aware and able to manage your emotions through sensitive expression, then what is apt to occur is that you will be led by your unmanaged emotions, risking unproductive and negative expressions that are off-putting to others with whom you interact.

With only that much, is it not easy to see how extrapolating the ability to be emotionally intelligent from the personal to the national and global challenges of and in the world is an answer?

If we sometimes feel overwhelmed by the need for world change, all we need do is take on the challenge right where we stand. It's like the quote by Desmond Tutu who said that "there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time."

Of course, he was not speaking literally, we understand. But he refers to the notion that while things seem daunting, we sometimes freeze with intimidation of the enormity of the challenge. What can little me possibly do to change the big world?

First, we need to change our minds. Ask yourself, am I being led by fear or love? What is it that I see out in the world that is reflective of me and how I think or believe? Draw the connections with truth and authenticity and then make a decision to contribute to peace and positivity. It's up to you, after all--your choice!

We are only too aware of polarizing positions in our world. And the reason that we are so aware is that these positions are too present in our lives. While we know this has to change, and we hear it often enough, why is it that we continue to live separated in our positions and critical of what appears to be different. Do we need to be right or want to be happy?

We all know that love is the answer. When we hear it coming in the voice of another or read it on the page of someone's writing, we experience that sense of knowing. We agree; the truth is always recognizable, if only deep within our hearts.

Living with love, insisting on love as our guide with all we do and say makes us whole. We easily derive a sense of peace. It always begins with self-love and radiates outward from there. That's where we achieve the highest calibration in terms of our energy. That is our greatest opportunity to do what we love and experience love in our personal lives.

It is about doing what we love, loving what we do, and being willing to be one hundred percent honest with ourselves and the world. It's the path to happiness and success. So why aren't we all happy and successful? Why do we have pain and strife in our world?

Integrity and love are sister concepts. When we are loving and acting in accordance with our truth, we won't fail because we are living with and in integrity.

Consider reading Martha Beck's new book on the subject: The Way of Integrity FInding The Path to Your True Self.

If we really thought about it, doing and behaving as we truly are is not only natural but also a relief. Why? Because for so many of us and for such a long time, we have been doing otherwise. Reasons for this have to do with self-consciousness, a feeling of not being enough, just as we are. It is a lie we tell ourselves as we look out into the world to obtain verification of only that. What appears to the contrary, we sadly reject in favor of this erroneous idea that we do not have what it takes.

But the unfortunate truth is that I can assure you and you might receive all kinds of material to reassure you that what is true about you is not only good enough but perfect. It only works when each of us knows and embraces our own truth with self-love and acceptance. If you haven't already, I hope to add to the motivation for you to give the gift of this truth to yourself now.

We are either contributing to the peace and love in the world or to the negative energy that causes hurt and ultimate destruction.

There is a little book called Life's Little Instruction Book that was initially written in 1940. The author is H. Jackson Brown, Jr., and his 21 points have definitely stood the test of time.

We review each step here, highlighting the importance of each, and referring back to so many other shows in which we captured the same essence. It's "rules to live by," and "how to be happy," although his list is on Success. It's the same thing. A successful life is a happy life and vice versa.

We review and provide commentary on each of these 21 essentials of how to live. You may add your own as you listen in on the points he deems essential. They truly are the rules to live by.

Minnie's story serves to highlight what so many of us experience. From the lack of career guidance to accepting work that had little or nothing to do with her passion, she speaks powerfully about how she felt and the advice she can deliver as a consequence.

Like many, there were sparks of illumination in some of her professional roles. While she did not necessarily consider herself drawn to Development work per se, she realized that she loved being able to learn about a cause and then deliver impassioned speeches to prospects. She discovered not only a sense of accomplishment but also touched a sense of purpose and meaning in that work.

From a sense of knowing that "she liked to talk to people" and that she preferred not to sit at a desk all day, her best realizations occurred when she was able to "stop the noise" and pay attention to her authentic voice. We can "ignore our intuition" so easily and be "led by fear" so often. In other words, we can live an unconscious life but will only regret it. In Minnie's words, "a head filled with noise drowns out our authentic voice." Attending to that voice of wisdom within is the only way to discover the work that is meant for you.