Love, Loss & Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker

By Scott SchumakerSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Personal Journals

Love, Loss & Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker episodes

October 26 Pain, Beauty, Divinity and Ultramarathon Running with Travis Helms (ep58)
What does it take to run 100 miles through the Rocky Mountains, and what do you bring back from such a journey? Travis Helms, an Episcopal priest, poet and ultrarunner based in Jackson, WY joins Scott in person just a month after finishing his first 100-mile race, the Leadville 100 where he placed 23rd out of 656 runners!
Travis traces his path from growing up in Houston, TX watching his marathoner dad come home drenched in sweat, to running his own marathons and finding that running can be a form of meditation that pulls him out of his overthinking mind and into his heart.
Travis talks about how he found his way through this 100-mile race and, returning to the idea of finding beauty in pain, and accessing joy and wonder in the midst of discomfort.
Scott and Travis explore the hero’s journey and why our culture has lost its rites of passage, and why descents into darkness may be invaluable to a human’s growth, even though they can suck. Travis also talks about the Eco-Theo Collective, which grew out of a “poetry church” that met in a brewery, and about The Campfire where he and Scott met.
If you love honest conversations about endurance, faith, creativity and what pain can teach us, this episode is for you.
In this episode:
👉Training for and experiencing his first 100-miler was all about making friends with pain.
👉Remembering Memento Mori while living in the wilds of Wyoming and the inherent dangers that come with the intense weather systems, megafauna, and wildlife of the Tetons.
👉Reflecting on how running affects him as an Ennegram 4: "The Individualist", and his desire to seek out deep meaning and beauty.
👉How the breath connects to spirit; how in Hebrew, Greek and Latin it's a single word for wind, or breath, or spirit.
👉Discovering that pain and beauty can run side by side, and that becomes a conduit for joy.
👉Being reminded of the good in humanity by the people who supported the runners along the route with pickle juice.
👉The hero’s journey, rites of passage, and how some of the hardest moments both mentally or physically can be the most transformative.
👉Self-love, the inner critic, and learning to “live in the valley” as well as on the peaks.
👉Balancing training for an ultra marathon while having a partner and 2 young children
👉The Eco-Theo Collective, the Campfire, a poetry-church-in-a-brewery origin story, and reciprocity with nature.
👉As a poet, Travis's love for etymology and how the Latin roots of "sacrifice" literally means "to make sacred."
**BONUS: Travis reads his poem “Field Trip” and gives his hot tip for hot honey hummus by Cedar!**
TRAVIS' LINKS:
Website | Instagram
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
1 hr 11 min
October 19 Heather A. Lee on Aging, Saging and Psychedelics (ep57)
Heather A. Lee is one of the nation's first certified and licensed psychedelic-assisted psychotherapists. In this episode, Heather joins Scott to talk about how traditional therapy and plant medicine differ and how they can work together.
Heather has over 30 years of clinical experience and is the author of The Psilocybin Sessions. She leads nature-immersion and psilocybin retreats for women, particularly in their 60s, 70s and 80s. Heather and Scott talk about why nature may be the best co-therapist, how women in midlife and beyond are working through the loss of roles, changing bodies and the deaths of loved ones, and why this stage of life can be a rite of passage into becoming a sage.
This is a powerful episode for anyone curious about psilocybin, healing grief, and what it means to grow older with more curiosity and power.
In this episode we discuss:
👉 How traditional therapy and plant medicine differ, and how they can be used together
👉 Why trusting your inner wisdom matters, and how nature can be a healer on its own, with or without psychedelics
👉 The common themes for aging women as their life roles and bodies change, and how they deal with grief and loss
👉 Heather tells the story of a mother's journey with psilocybin that let her hold grief and joy together after losing her son
👉 Nature delivers a message that leads one woman toward discovering a part of grief that years of therapy had missed
👉 Heather discusses an experience guiding an elderly mother, Mary, and what her challening journey released
👉 Why screening, preparation and surrendering control matter during a journey
👉 How partners and family can support someone who returns from a journey changed, and why protecting your journey is okay
👉 Why integration matters during the roughly three-month window of heightened neuroplasticity following a psychedelic experience
👉 Heather introduces her Aging & Saging Summit and the power of women-only gatherings
HEATHER'S LINKS
Website | Instagram
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
56 min
October 05 Jayson Gaddis: Creating Deep & Resilient Relationships, an Expert's Insights (ep56)
In this episode, Scott talks with Jayson Gaddis, relationship expert, author of Getting to Zero, and creator of Interpersonal Intelligence and the Relationship School. Jayson shares how his work evolved from wilderness programs to relationship coaching, and we dive deep into why repair, empathy, and nervous system regulation matter more than being right.
We look at the patterns that derail couples, especially the tendency to defend, fix, or blame when emotions surface. We also discuss therapy, if AI can be used as a relationship tool, and how psychedelics can create insight but do not replace the daily work of real partnership.
Whether you’re working through recurring arguments or hoping to build a more resilient partnership, this conversation offers practical ways to listen, repair, and keep showing up for the relationship.
This thought-provoking and insightful episode includes:
👉Jayson shares how his early work in wilderness therapy and youth programs shaped his understanding of honesty, nature, and group facilitation.
👉In the opening story, Jayson recalls a breakup in a Whole Foods parking lot in Salt Lake City that led to a major realization: “I’m the problem.”
👉Scott and Jayson discuss how men are often conditioned to value being right, knowing the answer, and protecting ego over staying connected.
👉They break down why validating a partner’s feelings is not the same as agreeing with them or admitting fault in a moral sense.
👉Jayson introduces his communication tool, LUFU, which means Listen Until the other person Feels Understood.
👉They talk about taking a pause during conflict, stepping away for a few minutes, and letting the nervous system settle before re-engaging.
👉Jayson explains why repair matters more than apology alone, and why couples should treat repair as a learned skill.
👉The discussion compares individual therapy and couples work, with Jayson arguing that couples work is often the fastest path when the issue is relational.
👉Jayson weighs in on AI as a relationship coach.
👉Psychedelics and plant medicine are framed as sources of insight, but not the be all, end all when it comes to improving relationships.
👉Jayson closes by emphasizing treating a relationship like a piece of art and accepting that the work never fully ends.
JAYSON'S LINKS:
Website | Instagram | The Relationship School
Ellen Boeder's Substack
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”

54 min
September 28 A Plane Crash, a Gunslinger, a Ghost Town & Téa Obreht’s Complex Love of the American West (ep55)
A ghost town with a secret history. A plane crash in the Wyoming backcountry. A small-town reenactor knotted up in his own masculinity and ego. Three timelines, one place, and a novel that dives into the myths the West was built on.
Téa Obreht joins Scott to unpack Sunrise, her most audacious novel yet—a braided story set in the American West that follows Nina, a nanny and art history grad student fighting to survive after falling out of the sky; Anton Vargas, a fading dime-novel gunslinger returning to the town he helped mythologize; and Coll, a hometown historian who stakes his own identity on the myth of Vargas.
Obreht also shares the deeply personal path that brought her from Belgrade, Yugoslavia as a child to Wyoming as an adult, her love and fascination of the American West, and her complicated relationship to it.
If you love literary fiction that’s ambitious, atmospheric, and smart, this one is essential listening. Sunrise is a rich conversation about survival, regret, myth, ego and the West.
Téa is the best-selling author of the The Tiger’s Wife, Inland, and The Morningside. She joins Scott for this discussion from Dublin, Ireland.
Bonus: Téa also recounts what it was like to learn that Barack Obama read and recommended her book, Inland.
TÉA'S LINKS: Instagram | Website
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
53 min
September 21 Life & Death Etc: Moving from Grief to Gratitude with Martin Luke Brown (ep54)
Martin Luke Brown joins Scott for a wide-ranging conversation about his new album, Life & Death, Etc. Celebration and grief are closer than you think, and Martin turns that truth into a stunning set of songs about what it means to grow up, let go, and still feel fully alive. The discussion starts around grief, masculinity, and creative flow before becoming a deeper look at community, family, addiction, and what it means to feel fully alive.
You'll discover:
👉 why Martin sees grief and celebration as two sides of the same experience
👉 how his songwriting works like excavation, revealing truths he didn't know he felt
👉 the story behind "unlearning everything" and the last take that reduced the room to tears
👉 how a mumbled voice note became the spark for "highest high"
👉 why his creative process depends on flow, not overthinking
👉 what he learned from substances and the search for time and calm
👉 how a transformative relationship with his dad helped break old cycles
Scott also digs into Martin's path through a major-label deal, a five-year pause, the leap that brought him from the UK to the US scene, and how Bright Antenna Records discovered him. In addition, they chat about football (soccer), gardening, the strange wealth of a life built around people you love and more.
This episode is essential listening if you love honest songwriting, creative process deep dives, and conversations about how loss can become gratitude.
Martin Luke Brown is a Leicester-born self-taught multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, and producer, known for his solo work, his role in the UK indie supergroup Fizz, and his collaborations with artists like Lizzy McAlpine, BTS, Youngblood, and James Blunt. His music blends indie, R&B, Motown, funk, country, and off-kilter pop into something unmistakably his own.
MARTIN'S LINKS: Life & Death Etc album | Instagram | TikTok | Website
SCOTT’S LINKS: Instagram | Substack | Website | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Martin Luke Brown, “highest high”
1 hr 8 min
August 03 Dave Eggers: An Unpredictable Conversation on CONTRAPOSSTO, Art, Writing, Life & Terry Cloth (ep53)
In this episode, Dave Eggers, one of America’s greatest living writers, sits down with Scott for a wholly unpredictable and insightful conversation. Yes, they talk about Dave’s incredible new novel, CONTRAPPOSTO, but they also talk about creativity, the writing process, carpet mushrooms, bad grammar, love, shipwreck pawn stars of the 1800s, AI, the VAD Foundation and more. If you are stuck in a creative rut, if you are looking for the next great book to read, or if you just want to laugh, then you will want to check out this episode.
DAVE'S LINKS:
Website | Contrapposto | VAD Foundation | McSweeney's | 826 National
SCOTT’S LINKS: Instagram | Substack | Website | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
59 min
July 27 Tiffanie DeBartolo and Scott Share an Intimate Conversation While Flipping the Tables (ep52)
Scott and Tiffanie go deep in this must-listen episode. Celebrating the one-year anniversary of the Love, Loss & Hallucinations podcast, they explore vulnerability and living authentically, marriage and relationships, the masculine and feminine, emotional maturity and what catalyzed their most profound transformations.
Scott shares the struggles behind putting out 52 podcast episodes, and how his personal and spiritual journeys have reshaped his life and relationships. From Tiffanie and him nearly getting divorced to discovering alternative paths to soul-level healing, Scott dives into the dark nights of the soul that led him to greater love, self-awareness, and courage. Tiffanie, a powerful voice of vulnerability, honesty, and strength, reveals what propelled her into a deeper practice of self-love and emotional openness. Their candid banter unpacks the societal expectations placed on men and women, emphasizing that true strength lies in emotional transparency.
You'll discover:
👉How Scott and Tiffanie broke free from cultural conditioning and embraced vulnerability.
👉The importance of creating safe spaces for men and women to process emotion without shame.
👉Practical steps for integrating altered states of consciousness into everyday life for lasting growth.
👉The role community, retreats, and ceremony play in shedding shadow aspects and stepping into authenticity.
👉How their shared journey of healing has transformed their marriage, creative pursuits, and purpose.
👉Deep conversations about masculine and feminine energies, emotional expression, and vulnerability.
👉Stories of meaningful guest episodes and lessons learned from their journeys .
👉 Updates on Scott’s upcoming memoir and publishing plans.
👉 The importance of community, music, and nature in their lives.
This episode is essential listening if you're ready to challenge outdated gender norms, embrace your full humanity, and learn the real power of vulnerability. Scott and Tiffanie’s stories will inspire you to explore your shadow, deepen your relationships, and see life's transitions as sacred portals to growth.
PREVIOUS EPISODES WE DISCUSS:
Anna Symonds - Ep 12
Shann Ray - Ep 30
Lauren Carroll - Ep 33
Nicho Nutu - Ep 39
Robert Gallery - Ep46
LINK TO PREVIOUS EPISODES IS HERE.
TIFFANIE'S LINKS: Instagram | website | Bright Antenna Records | Bookshop | Amazon | Dream for an Insomniac
SCOTT’S LINKS: Instagram | Substack | Website | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
54 min
July 20 A Sacred Journey from Corporate Disneyland to Plant Medicine, Love and Death with Kat Courtney (ep51)
Prepare to be ignited by a raw, powerful story of healing, shadow work, and love. Kat Courtney, a woman who’s dedicated her life to exploring the shadows and the light, cracks open the depths and healing potential of plant medicines like ayahuasca, ibogaine, and wachuma, and how being a death doula is ultimately about love and fits perfectly with plant medicine.
Most of us are living behind a mask of success, secretly hollow, craving genuine healing, and likely needing to face our shadows. Kat Courtney’s extraordinary journey from a small-town Montana girl stuck in an outwardly “successful,” corporate Disney gig to a profound plant medicine ayahuasquera will fascinate you. She reveals how sitting with powerful sacred plants like ayahuasca and ibogaine cracked open her deepest wounds—and transformed her into someone who now helps others do the same.
If you’re hungry to understand how these sacred plants can heal, reveal, and transform love and loss then this one’s for you.
In this episode:
👉 Kat’s journey from a corporate, small-town Montana girl to ayahuasquera and death doula
👉 The awakening power of ayahuasca and its lessons on shadow work
👉 The differences between ayahuasca, ibogaine, and wachuma and how each offers unique healing
👉 Why diving into the shadows is essential for true healing and authentic love
👉 How plant diets strengthen our connection and protect our energetic boundaries
👉 The profound lessons plant medicines teach about grief, loss, and love’s all-encompassing nature
👉 The story behind Kat’s arrest and her commitment to staying aligned with her truth
👉 Practical insights on working with non-psychedelic plants for emotional and spiritual growth
👉 Explore death as a sacred transition: Kat’s role as a death doula
👉 How plant medicine accelerates the journey to love and self-acceptance
KAT'S LINKS:
Instagram | Newsletter | Plant Medicine People Website | Bassé website
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
This content is for educational and harm-reduction purposes. We do not promote or support illegal activity, the sale or use of restricted substances, or the use of associated tools or accessories. Not medical advice. Consult a qualified professional for health decisions.
55 min
July 13 Dr. Dave Rabin: Unlocking the Mysteries of the Mind, Spirit and Healing (ep50)
Join us for this dive into Dr. Dave Rabin's #1 neuroscience book on Amazon, A SIMPLE GUIDE TO BEING HUMAN.
Dave and I have a wisdom-filled conversation about the power of feeling, the science behind love, and the incredible potential of psychedelics and technology to transform our understanding of reality and heal trauma. Dr. Dave Rabin shares insights from decades of research and his book, including that that spirituality isn’t just faith, but a measurable, biological experience. You’ll discover how ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience collide, revealing that love is as real as your heartbeat and safety is the foundation of healing. Learn how a tiny vibration, a moment of gratitude, or even a 120-second breathing practice can rewire your brain and transform your life.
If you’re craving connection, longing for purpose, or simply ready to tap into the magic hiding in plain sight, this episode is for you. It’s time to feel first, think second, and heal. Don’t miss this journey into the science that proves love, spirit, and consciousness are not separate from us—they are us.
In this episode:
👉How deep trauma and early experiences shape our dreams and perceptions
👉The astonishing science proving love as a biological and spiritual force
👉Why feeling first is the key to healing—breaking the cycle of repression
👉The groundbreaking technology Apollo Neuro and its role in stress relief and sleep enhancement
👉Reframing hallucinations as visions—exploring non-ordinary states of consciousness
👉The sacred connection between science and spirituality through DMT and psychedelic research
👉Practical, simple practices to rewire your brain in just minutes a day
👉The importance of play, inner child, and community in healing and joy
👉The science of consciousness, faith, and the universe—trusting what we cannot fully understand
DR. DAVE RABIN'S LINKS:
Instagram | Website | A Simple Guide to Being Alive | Apollo Neuro
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
This content is for educational and harm-reduction purposes. We do not promote or support illegal activity, the sale or use of restricted substances, or the use of associated tools or accessories. Not medical advice. Consult a qualified professional for health decisions.

1 hr 13 min
July 06 San Pedro: A Heart-Centered, Healing Journey Deep Dive with Samer Mouawad (Ep49)
In this episode, we dive deep into the sacred plant medicines of Peru. Ayahuasca, yes. But shaman Samer Mouawad and I take an even deeper dive into the profound, transformational healing one can experience with Wachuma (San Pedro), a cactus. We also discuss how kambo, a process where the secretions of the giant monkey frog are superficially burned into your skin, can help deepen the healing process; why someone might be pulled to a wachuma ceremony versus an ayahuasca journey; and why wachuma is such a powerful medicine to counter the disconnection and trauma so many people experience in modern society. Samir also shares his amazing personal journey from Lebanon to the jungles of Peru, when he had *no* intentions of becoming a shaman.
We discuss:
👉 The history and spiritual lineage of Wachuma and its archaeological roots
👉 Samir’s transformative encounters with ayahuasca and how San Pedro brought him back into his body and heart
👉 The difference between Western medicine and shamanic healing, and how plant medicine bridges the gap
👉 The concept of regenerative shamanism and how integrating daily habits amplifies the medicine’s effects
👉 The importance of intention, guidance, and honoring the plant’s call
👉 Kambo’s role in detoxification and its regenerative peptides
👉 How plant medicines can steer you in the right or wrong direction without proper guidance
👉 Why San Pedro is particularly valuable for modern disconnection and trauma
👉 Personal stories of loss and insight, emphasizing humility, acceptance, and compassion
👉 Practical tips for safe and meaningful plant medicine journeys and choosing the right medicine for your path
Remember:
Always approach plant medicine with respect, guided support, and a clear intention.
SAMIR'S LINKS:
Instagram | Samadi Healing Retreats
SCOTT’S LINKS: Substack | Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
MUSIC – Wilderado, “Surefire (piano)”
This content is for educational and harm-reduction purposes. We do not promote or support illegal activity, the sale or use of restricted substances, or the use of associated tools or accessories. Not medical advice. Consult a qualified professional for health decisions.
1 hr 1 min

About Love, Loss & Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker

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Welcome to Love, Loss and Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker — a podcast where we start with those three themes and see where the conversation takes us. This podcast is about the beauty and pain of…

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Love, Loss & Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker

Love, Loss & Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker episodes

About Love, Loss & Hallucinations with Scott Schumaker