Love is a mutual quest. If it’s a one-sided romantic campaign, there’s going to be a shipwreck ahead as the rocks and stormy seas bring couples to the moment of truth.

To learn about love you’ve got to go out and get it. You cannot wait for love to find you. (It won’t.) You’ve got to define for yourself what love looks like, what it feels like, what it smells like, what it says when it wakes up in the morning. Love is an ongoing adventure between two people. If you think you’ve got the roadmap for what is ahead, think again.

Read this episode online at The Whole Parent: Hold the Center

There are a lot of aspects of our lives that are not under our control. One of the simple (not simple to practice) realities is this: you are your thoughts. As you dwell on anger or resentment, so is your experience of life. If you can turn your face towards the sun, the affirmations and gratitudes in your life also become your life as well. Happier. 

It's not easy to train the monkey mind to obey your wishes. Much of our lives we spend chasing the whimsical imaginings of the monkey mind. "I want this. I need this. This person sucks. My life is hard because of these things."

Here is the deal: Stop the crazy thinking and you stop the ruminations on bad, negative, and resentful feelings. And guess what? If you're not ruminating on the bad stuff, you open up your mind to the good stuff. That's one of the reasons affirmations are so powerful. You ruminate on the good stuff in your life. The things you are happy and hopeful about.

So, how do you learn to calm the monkey chatter in your mind?

Read the full post on The Whole Parent: In This Moment You Choose

How is it that I am in such a rush to find the next and last girlfriend/lover? I say to them, “I’m in no hurry,” but I’m kind of lying. I’m not clear what the pressure is. Lust? Passion? Loneliness? But I am sure that rushing never helps.

So I’m driving headlong towards the finish line of this story, The Off Parent. While I won’t end being the *off* parent, something about this blog/book/story line has divorce and dating written all over it. If I really wasn’t dating, and rather I was building my next marriage, and thus not divorced… Well, let’s just say I’m both eager for the story to end, and a little saddened by the closing chapters, because it means there will be no more story.

Read this article on The Off Parent: Seeking the ONE

In looking for that mix of love and sex it’s important to know what kinds of things turn us on and what kinds of things turn us off. Over time we learn these things about ourselves, and with a partner, we begin to learn them about the JOIN in our lovemaking. That’s where the LOVE is. It’s in having sex with the same person, knowing their ticklish spots, and their erotic zones so you can play their bodies like a nicely tuned guitar. That was my approach, anyway.

Read the full episode here: Sex Without Desire

Today, I’m feeling my inner joy in a way that I feel it from the bottom tip of my spine to the top of my head. In terms of chakras and energy, I’m fully empowered and alive. Let’s pull apart the elements of happiness and see what moments of self-awareness have brought me to this moment. And this moment. And this one here.

Read THE NOW on The Whole Parent.

It’s a vicious cycle.

SEEK > ATTRACT > PURSUE > DATE > KISS > [HAPPY EVER AFTER] (THE GOAL)

but mine keeps looking more like this

SEEK > ATTRACT > PURSUE > DATE > KISS > [BREAK UP] (THE FAILURE)

But, there’s hope. Here’s the idea. If we’re failing, we’re at least learning. We’re still in the arena. We’re still working on ourselves and our relationship skills. If we find ourselves, once again, at the ending, a magical thing happens. If you’re like me, the ending of a relationship, no matter how great it seemed as it emerged, the ending is a new beginning. The world, the blue sky, my open heart, now has no limits.

Read the full post here: Cracking Open the Heart of Happiness

Let’s not kid ourselves, if we’re interested in having a relationship with someone, we are going to have to take the time to be with them. If we don’t have the time, we’re either going to make more time (prioritize) or we’re not going to make time. It’s the biggest indicator of relationship success or failure. And it even shows up in the earliest interactions as we’re starting to date.

read the full post on The Whole Parent: Time Is the Currency

If you’ve ever tried to meditate or work on quieting your mind, you’ll know exactly what is meant by “monkey mind.” It’s the reactive, animal, untamed, stream of thoughts that course through our active consciousness all the time. Many people try to ignore or subdue the monkey mind with alcohol or hyper-fitness.

Most attempts to shut down or suppress the swirling thoughts are actually counterproductive. We try to ignore a bad thought and it gets stronger rather than weaker. We try to redirect an addition (in my case, to sugar) with hard-core discipline and self-control. And again, the monkey mind overwhelms us, yet again. Let’s take a different approach.

Rather than drugging the monkey mind with alcohol or extreme exercise, rather than trying to sublimate desire for something we want to avoid, let’s move towards the pain, the struggle, the monkey mind. Let’s embrace the monkey’s paw, and get on with our lives in harmony with the furry little beast.

Read the full post here: Monkey Mind on the Whole Parent

There’s a lot to be said about the benefits of journaling. For me, writing crystallizes the thoughts in my head. I generate structures, ideas, frameworks, for holding many different aspects of my life. Poems. Songs. Short-short stories. This blog. I write. It’s what I do. And it helps me process all that is going on around me, even in the moment, when I’m not writing it all down.

Read the entire post here: Capturing Love

Check out all the episodes of Love on the Air.

Let’s say there’s a partner you’ve had your eyes on for some years. There appears to be mutual interest. Coffee dates are accepted with grace and laughter. The “dates’ go well. And then… nothing. You take this as a sign and move along. Still thinking about this person, but willing to take their scheduling issues as a sign. And then they’re back in your life, for your own reasons, and you’re single and you offer another coffee date. The ask is accepted with the same enthusiasm and glee as before, and there’s a promise to “get on my calendar and find the time.”

READ THE EPISODE HERE: Slow Road