Love Your Story: Stories and discussions about personal growth, mindset and living with intention

His last semester of grad school Tiberius Steele lived in his car. When the university revoked all the grad student teaching scholarships he was forced to find a way to continue on with his schooling, but he couldn’t afford rent, so Tyson removed the passenger seat from his tiny Hyundai Accent, built a bed where the seat had been and parked up the canyon at nights. “It was great,” he said, “No rent, fresh mountain air. From that point on I was hooked on the idea of budget, small living.”

But that’s just the beginning. How do we get from here to surviving in the Alaskan wilderness—in the lowlands south of Denali National Park, for 23 days in below freezing temperatures after his home burnt to the ground, killing his best friend and dog - a lab who had been with him through six years of rough living, and eating from burned out cans of food with melted plastic in them from the fire that decimated all his belongings?

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Tiberius Steele - mountain man, survivor, poet, hermit, and teacher.

To follow Tyson on social media:

Instagram: @homesteadalaska

You can also find him on YouTube.

Tyson made his way through very dark days of cold, hunger and deprivation. What was the key? He says it was looking for the beauty around him - focusing on the northern lights, looking a moose in the eyes, noticing the beautiful countryside and singing to himself.

Ta Da! Introducing a set of episodes that are going to get into detail on each of the 21 challenges in the book L.I.F.E - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 Life Connection Challenges. In May of 2018 I tackled the first challenge - to do a Random Act of Kindness. It was episode 89. We got a group together who went out and did RAK and then I recorded their experiences for you guys and shared it. Now I’m on to challenge #2. Challenge #2 in the book is about taking a step toward decluttering our spaces - about less is more, and about the incredible importance in this concept. The challenge itself is to start out by getting rid of just 1 unneeded item you have in your house. It’s a stepping stone to a bigger clearing.

Stay tuned as I start the second in a series of episodes that will delve more deeply into the 21 LIFE connection challenges and we’ll talk about how and why these challenges are going to make your life better.

We call it decluttering, parring down, downsizing, making space, trending toward minimalism, heck…maybe just cleaning house. The trend with the millennials is to own less so they can do more, move faster, have more freedom, save money by needing less space and create a smaller carbon foot print. Every generation has a few signature ideas and those ideas usually flow in the opposite direction of those of their parents. It’s no secret that their parent’s generation is about accumulation. Their grandparents - the Boomers who lived in a time of rationing during the wars, and the natural tendency toward survival —to collect - to make sure you will always have enough. To store up against the needy day. We live in a time of abundance and accumulation is a natural tendency, but now it’s time to manage it. More is not better, and he who dies with the most toys is still dead and he who lives with the most clutter just leaves a lot of shit for other people to sort through.

“Hording” is a word we hear far too often these days, and as a Realtor who spends lots of days going through houses, I can verify that it’s a real thing. 

Graham Hill, talking from the TED stage shares some interesting ideas about the state of America and our clutter.

Tune into the audio program to hear this TED clip.

In my book L.I.F.E. Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday challenge #2 is to choose at least one unneeded item and get rid of it. It’s that simple. 

At any given moment there is a good chance we have clutter around us. Maybe it’s the gaggle of water bottles being thrown from side-to-side in the backseat of your car as you turn corners, or the stuff on your kitchen cabinets successfully hiding the surface you could be using to cook and eat on. What about your office, or the garage you can’t actually pull a car into. Often we’ve become so used to our clutter we don’t even see it anymore. So look a little closer.

Why?

If you start cleaning up some of this external clutter, you’ll notice that internal clutter disappears as well. This challenge is important on many levels. There is a freeing of energy that takes place when we release our hold on material items. This freeing of energy translates into our mental state in far deeper ways than we even realize. 

In my late 20’s we sold our home and packed all our belongings into a storage shed so we could travel for a year. Despite being hundreds of miles from my things I can verify there was an energetic tie that always had to my “stuff.” We have a connection to our belongings, a real connection, and this is great - our “things” are there to serve us, help us do what we want and need to do, but too often we forget the part where we let go of them, let them move on to help someone else when they’ve completed their time with us. Instead it’s about what I can control, what I can claim, what I can store up against need.

Julia Cameron said, “When we clear the physical clutter from our lives, we literally make way for inspiration and good orderly direction to enter.”

Challenge #2 isn’t just about keeping a tidy home. It’s about taking a step on the path of freeing our energy, our hearts and our minds.

Let’s talk about an important fact: More stuff does not equate with more happiness.

I think we collect because we think if we have more choices we will be happier, but the paradox is that the more choices we have the more paralyzed we become. Why does 5 Guys burger place do so well? Could it be because they only have a few choices on their menu? In proving Barry’s research I can verify large menus frustrate me, prolong my decision making, and often leave me with regret. Have you noticed that?

Swarthmore College psychologist Barry Schwarz, Author of the Paradox of Choice,  said from the TED stage, that the result of too many choices creates - paralysis, reconsidering our choices and opportunity costs, which reduce our happiness. He also points out that it creates an escalation of expectation. Meaning, if we have more choices for things we have higher expectations and less satisfaction.

If we are collecting, keeping, storing, and hording to create happiness for ourselves, we are on the wrong path. But where to start?

Here’s a tip from ideas.TED.com. “Have you ever looked in your kitchen cabinets and wondered why you have so many mugs or cups, yet you use so few of them? Pick out the ones that make you the happiest - because some choice IS better than no choice, but too much choice complicates and clutters.

Let’s talk to a professional:

Today I have invited a professional organizer - Ashley to hop on a quick interview and talk about a couple things - namely the physical AND mental aspects of getting rid of clutter.

Ashley spent 15 years as a radio DJ and voice over artist. Four years ago Ashley decided to step out on a limb and turn a talent for organizing into a full time Professional Organizing business, Rethink Clutter, which focuses on the emotional attachments we have to "stuff" and she empowers others to recognize and overcome them. Ashley’s “Organizational Grid” teaches you how to get decluttered, organized, and increase your productivity! She has worked on everything fromEtsy shops and corporate offices, garages and man caves, craft rooms and pantries, and everything in between.

Everything Ashley does is with the intent to “own her life instead of being owned by stuff!”

Tune into the audio to hear my interview with Ashley.

Now you folks out there who have some serious clutter issues may not want to hear this, but it’s a proven fact that people’s emotional upheavals can manifest themselves in how they keep our surroundings. If your surroundings are a little rough, it may be an opportunity to consider what type of mental clutter might need to be unpacked and uncluttered as well. Star Hansen, a professional organizer says, “Clutter is an external demonstration of our internal storms.”

Let your clutter inform you of your internal state, use it as a way to take stock. And then start the work of letting go - mentally and physically. 

I hope today’s episode has shed a little light onto the importance of editing our clutter and challenge #2 of the 21 Life Connection Challenges. Please hop on the website and share your comments and experiences under this episode as I’d love to hear your thoughts - loveyourstorypodcast.com

Thanks and this week’s challenge is to get rid of at least one thing that you don’t love that is cluttering up your closet, your cabinets, your desk or your car. Take a step toward freedom and a cleaner joy.

See you in two weeks on the next episode of the LYS podcast.

We all do something.

Are you a parent, a lawyer, an actress, a podcaster, a Realtor, a soccer player, a sales person, a teacher, a socialite?

Whatever it is YOU do, staying in a space of peak performance is the surest way to find success in being your best YOU. Today I talk with the originator of the Mental Edge, a insulting firm that offers sports and management counseling to athletes - it's all about the science of developing mental toughness and the mental techniques that keep us at our sharpest. Guess what? Some of it is all about the stories we tell ourselves.

Tune in to the audio program for my interview with Jeff Meyer.

Jeff has worked with over 2500 clients, from pro athletes, performers, coaches, administrators, and corporations. Jeff is from Colorado and earned his bachelor's degree in Social Psychological Kinesiology. he went on to earn a Masters degree in Pedagogy. Both from the University of Noreen Colorado. Jeff has coached men's basketball for 29 years at Division I, Division II, and high school levels. Jeff is a popular speaker with corporations, universities and athletic teams. He inspires though sand on how they can use mental toughness to be more successful in today's competitive climate.

To get a hold of Jeff:

Email: [email protected]

Episode 161 The Power of the Human Soul - Interview: Todd Sylvester

Today let’s gather around the technological campfire and hear the story of Todd Sylvester, addict turned inspiration. How does our hero come to be addicted to drugs and alcohol as a teen and how did he find his way out of that dark hole? What led him to try and help teens and young people not make his same mistakes and instead take hope in who they are?

Stay tuned. His story is featured in Simon Sinek’s new book, “Find Your Why,” and today we’ll get a sneak peak at HIS why.

Todd Sylvester learned that the human soul is more powerful than addiction after he beat his own addiction over 25 years ago. In 1989 he founded the non-profit, anti-drug entity Sly Dog “Drug Free That’s Me, which features a sought after education program for elementary schools. This program has encouraged over 100 thousand school-age students while emphasizing principles of positive self-talk (the stories we’re telling ourselves), personal commitment, goal setting and character building. He’s a podcaster, author, speaker and inspiration.

When I heard you speak at a conference up at the University of Utah last year I loved your 4 Life Changing Principles because they were right up my alley – you were preaching to the preacher, so I want you to share those, but before you do can you tell us your story?

Tune into the audio program to hear Todd's story - how he got started, what rock bottom looked like, and the little girl that helped pull him out of his hole.

No one grows up thinking “I want to be an addict when I grow up and lose control over my own choices.” But somehow lots and lots of people end up walking that messy, destructive path. There are lots of things we can get addicted to, and the tragedy with addiction is the way something else takes over our body and our agency. A few months ago I had a friend who fell off the wagon after years of being drug-free. That one decision did serious damage to his career, his bank account, his family relationships, his self respect, and a number of other things he’d been developing in his life. The saying goes, “Once and addict, always an addict,” and so we see the importance of not starting that battle in the first place, or life becomes a constant struggle on and off the wagon. I love Todd’s work because these lessons – the loss and destruction that accompanies addiction, are not ones that we want anyone to have to learn. If we, as people, can be taught, as children, the importance of not stepping anywhere near this path, entire lives can be saved and massive heartache avoided.

If you feel Todd’s story could warn or help anyone you know, please pass it along to them. If you have a local elementary school where his program could help children, maybe look into it and pass it along.

To contact Todd:

@tsinspires

#beliefcast 

www.toddsylvesterinspires.com

As I sign off today I want to shamelessly plug my book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. The 21 Life Connection Challenges. If you haven’t got your copy, hop on Amazon or the website: loveyourstorypodcast.com and get a copy for you and your family, or your book club or your ladies group. If you make a video of you and your group doing the challenges and send it to me, I’ll send out free Love Your Story t-shirts your way. Send your link to [email protected] I’d LOVE to see what you guys are doing out there with the challenges. 

Episode 160 How Being a Hostage Set Her Mind Free - Interview: Jo Marie Taylor

There are moments in our lives that change us – become defining moments because they challenge what we thought we knew and make us think about things differently. 

On 2 August 1990 at 2:00 am, local time, Iraq launched an invasion of Kuwait with four elite Iraqi Republican Guard Division and Iraqi Army Special Forces. The main thrust was conducted by the commandos deployed by helicopters and boats to attack Kuwait City while the other divisions seized the airports and two airbases. Kuwait didn’t stand for long and the Iraqi invasion quickly turned into a take-over.

JoMarie Taylor, an American, was visiting Kuwait with her Kuwaiti husband found herself a hostage in the country, hiding and navigating the fear and daily threat of death; watching the destruction, rape, murder and mayhem of the invasion – all this challenged the way she thought about life.

Tune into the audio program for her story as she shares her hostage experience and the change it created in her life story moving forward. Jo’s story is an opening into our own considerations about how our traumatic experiences shape and change us and how that’s part of the messy, beautiful process we call life.

Raised in Ogden, Utah in the 60’s and 70’s JoMarie came from a mixed faith family life with a Catholic mother and a Latter Day Saint father. She met her husband, a former Moslem at Weber State University and they were married in 1987. In 1990 they moved to Kuwait to visit her in-laws because her father in-law had had issues with his heart and while they were there Iraq invaded. Her parents went for 5 weeks hearing nothing but CNN reports on the invasion and being unable to get a hold of their daughter. Let’s hear the story from Jo.

Listen to the audio to hear Jo Marie's story.

To contact Jo Marie:

[email protected]

Pinterest:@healthcoacch.jomarie

Facebook: Health Coach JoMarie

Website: www.coachJoMarie.com

Our life experiences shape us. We hare stretched and refined, pruned and challenged, and in that process we make many choices. We can choose bitterness, cynicism, doubt, victimhood, on and on. We also can choose hope, faith, love, forgiveness, light. I’ve noticed something about older people. Most of them are either grumpy old and bitter, or they are wise, old and enlightened. Some are extreme and of course some lie in between, but it’s easy to see the roll that our chosen stories and focus play in determining who we are and who we become. In my interview with JoMarie we see a woman who, like us all, is shaped by her experiences, and in this case, opened to broader ways of considering life.

As you consider your own life experiences, especially the ones you still find difficult, shameful, horrifying…consider your interpretation of events and the story you have built around them. Does that story feed fear and anger? If so, how can you reshape that story to serve you and help you find meaning? If you have chosen to find the meaning and learning in your difficult spaces please take a moment and congratulate yourself for such a healing, wise and self-supporting approach. Sometimes we need help to reframe the stories closest to us. If that’s the case, you can reach out to me or listen to earlier podcasts that share the 5 Steps to reframing your story.

Thanks for being with us today! May you grow and stretch as you write your best life story, knowing that while you can’t always chose what happens to you, you can choose your response to those events.

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless everyday – the 21 Life Connection Challenges on Amazon. Share the love.

See you in two weeks on the LYS podcast. 

Episode 159 The Art of Working with the Cards You're Dealt - Interview: Erik Jensen

Each of us are dealt a deck of cards, so to speak, when we are born onto this planet. This deck includes where we are born, the family we are born into, the culture, geography, religion, expectations, a certain body, health issues, disabilitites, money or no money. We each get a different set-up. I believe we get the set-up that we need in order to learn the things we need to learn. Whether or not you are of that same mind set, we can’t deny that we all have a different set of circumstances and what we do with those circumstances determines who we are and how we live. We are the creators of our own lives, and like an artist we have a certain amount of clay, paint, or in today’s case, recycled computer keys to work with.

Erik Jensen is a born artist – He’s also deaf. I met him at the Salt Lake City Arts Festival where he was showing his incredible keyboard keys art creations. It’s hard to explain without graphics, but basically he creates really impressive pictures by coloring and organizing recycled computer keyboard keys into pictures. His art has won several awards since he started in high school, through college and in arts shows and festivals. He graduated from Utah Valley University with a BS in Art Education in 2017. He started doing art with computer keyboard keys in 2013, started doing it as a business in 2017 and and went to being a full-time artist in 2018. He loves spending time with his family and when he finds the time, he even gets on his 36-inch unicycle for exercise! His productive and artistic life is built from his specific deck of cards – a supportive mom and teachers, his artists eye, being deaf and learning how to hear and talk and sign.

Tune into the audio program to hear the interview with Erik.

To find him and his art:

Erik Jensen Art

Computer Key Artist

[email protected]

https://www.erikjensenart.com

http://www.facebook.com/erikjensenart

http://www.instagram.com/erikjensenart

What is something in your life that you feel like you may have gotten short-changed on? I knew a woman in my church who said she didn’t want to live with her family after this life because they were really awful to her. She felt like she’d been dealt a crappy family. I met a woman recently who was divorced many years ago, and now in her 70’s she is still stuck in the story of how hard life has always been because she is alone. Maybe you grew up in poverty and it felt like it was impossible to get ahead? Maybe you struggle with an illness that stops you from living how you wish you could. At my house we play Monopoly Deal a lot. This is Monopoly with cards. Every hand is of course a different set of assets, chance cards, money and opportunities to create with, but what you do with your cards determines if you win or lose. What is a card you are holding in your metaphorical deck of life cards that you need to find a way to leverage or learn or create something valuable with? Erik had to work with the card in his hand of being deaf. His choice to not let this unchangeable card hold him back has made all the difference. Your challenge this week is to take stock and find a challenging card in your hand and start playing with ideas of learning or leveraging this card into supporting the life you want. Could it be learning from the cards you’ve been dealt? Empathy and understanding gained? In Episode 83 you’ll remember Wendy Garrett who was in an auto/scooter accident where one of her legs was paralyzed, but instead of making a home in victim land she found joy in getting involved in the world’s 7 largest marathons and having experiences she wouldn’t have had any other way. What does your deck look like? How can you find joy and life satisfaction even from the tough cards?

Share this podcast with someone you love and leave us a review on iTunes or wherever you listen. We’ll see you next week on the Love Your Story podcast.

Episode 158 A Healthy Relationship to Fear: Interview with Kristen Ulmer

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Let’s face the fear. 

Kristen Ulmer is a thought leader on fear and anxiety who draws from her tenure as the most fearless woman extreme skier in the world for 12 years, from intently studying Zen for 16 years, and from facilitating tens of thousands of clients on flow and peak performance.

The author of: The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead, she’s known for radially challenges existing norms about what to do about fear and anxiety. Facilitating and speaking all over the world, some of her clients include Google, Citigroup, Olympic athletes, and the US Air Force. Her revolutionary work has also been featured in such media as NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, USA Today, Tim Ferriss’s “Tribe of Mentors,” the Megyn Kelly show and many more.

She’s on the show today to share her story of being a world-class extreme skier and to teach us what she understands about facing and managing fear.

Tune in to the audio program to hear answers to the following questions and a whole lot more.

1. Tell us the story of how you got started and extreme skiing and what you did.
2. How did you become a fear/anxiety expert?
3. What do you teach that's different from everyone else
4. What fears do you face today?
5. Final words of advice

To find Kristen: www.kristenulmer.com

What do YOU fear? What do you do when you fear something? Do you run? Do you hide? Do you face it? Run toward it? 

Challenge this week is to think about how you are living intentional and fearless everyday and how you can live just a little more fearless. What scary thing can you face this week? What courage muscle can you flex?

Don’t forget to use the tools on the loveyourstorypodcast.com website. All the 140+ episodes to share, t-shirts to buy, and links to by the book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday, so youc anget you and your family started on 21 fun challenges to creating more connection and possibility in your life.

See you next week. Share the love.

Episode 157 What if Nothing is Wrong with You?

Happy 2020 my people! I know the new year is all about resolutions and what we can do to improve just a bit, and there’s plenty of time for that, but what do you think of the idea that we are pretty darn impressive just the way we are. What if nothing was wrong with you? I know….what if there really was nothing wrong with you and you just accepted that. How would that settle into your heart? 

Stay tuned for today’s episode on self love, self acceptance, and the novel idea that we are acceptable here and now, just as we are. In fact we are more than acceptable – we are beloved and filled with magic.

Since loving ourselves creates the foundation for loving our story – this topic is ideal for the Love Your Story podcast, so I wanted to pose the question to you – What if there is nothing wrong with you?

I first heard this statement from Susan Henkel’s TED Talk, part of the “How to Be a Better Human” series, so let’s start there…

Susan Henkels has worked as a psychotherapist for more than 45 years. That means she’s spent decades smiling and nodding, decades handing over tissues at the appropriate moment — and decades hearing people tell her all the things about themselves that need to be fixed.

One day, as she was listening to a patient take her through the “whole list of what was wrong with her,” says Henkels, “I thought in the middle of this litany, ‘What? There’s actually nothing wrong with her.’”

From that moment, she realized there is a surprising power to be found in prompting people to ask themselves, “What if there’s nothing wrong with me?”

She says, This does not mean we’re perfect. For instance, most of us could stand to eat better and sit up straighter. But we can stop spending so much time dwelling on our personal shortcomings and imagining how our lives will be better once we finally — finally! — vanquish them. “We create this whole list of what we think is wrong and then create an entire life around it,” 

In fact, the attributes we think of as problems can be our strengths. Henkels tells this story in her TedX talk. 

“What if there’s nothing wrong with you?” is about building the skill of acceptance.  Henkels says this question is about pressing pause on your inner critic and making “a choice to let go of all the ways you’ve made yourself wrong,” as she puts it. 

Tune into the audio program to hear a clip of this Ted talk.

As you look at your own level of self love, let’s start with these questions. 1. What if there’s nothing wrong with you? And as you start to categorize that favorite list of short comings – ask yourself – What’s wrong with that? Really…could your perceived weakness really be a strength?

Let me share a story. I shared this in an earlier podcast, but it applies here so I’ll share it again. Last year I was at a women’s empowerment conference. One of the activities we were doing involved consideration of how who we are and our natural tendencies helps us to fulfill our callings – the things we are here to do. In other words, I am equipped to do what I am here to do. As I personally considered a topic I have often been criticized for and thus I have interpreted it as a weakness – that of being strong willed, determined, and sometimes pushy, it struck me that perhaps I am okay just as I am – perhaps that strength was given to me to accomplish what I need to accomplish. Perhaps I have a warrior goddess energy rather than a healing goddess energy or a sweet, compliant goddess energy because I will have battles I need to fight through, and there is definitely a place for the guardians and warrior goddesses, as much as there is a place for the goddesses of mercy, kindness and a more docile energy. This was the first time this has ever crossed my mind because it went against a cultural representation created about gender roles in my culture. But I loved it because it made sense and because it fostered a space of self acceptance, and just like the example in the Ted talk – how freeing to see something you have often considered a downfall or weakness and suddenly realize it makes you who you are and allows you to be who you came to be and do what you came to do. And what’s wrong with that?

In my interview with Emma Houston in episode 129, on fierceness, Emma talks about loving on ourselves. Tune into the audio program to hear this clip.

Laurann Turner also has some words of wisdom from episode #127 - tune in to hear this clip as well.

I love to discuss the concepts, but concepts don’t help us much until we implement them into our ways of being. So I always like to discuss ways to take action.

In my earlier episode #26 with Natalie Burrage, a self-love coach, we discussed the “how” of starting to love ourselves and then talked about a few tips. Tune into the audio program to hear her tips.

When we say, “Nothing is wrong with me,” we aren’t saying, “I’m perfect.” Rather we walk into a space of self-acceptance. And when we ask “and what’s wrong with that?” we start to question long held perceptions that may be completely off base.

One of the greatest tools of darkness is to make us feel as if we are not enough, as if we are flawed and broken and can never be good enough or as good as others. This mindset keeps us small and often afraid. We accomplish less, we step out of our comfort zone less, we hide our lights under a bushel for fear they are not bright enough or believing we don’t have a light worth shining. It’s a brilliant plan, really. A plan built on fear of rejection – beginning with our own rejection of ourselves. But as we come to understand the dark tools that don’t serve us, rather attack us at our very core and understand how they keep us small and afraid we can combat them with light, and loving ourselves is where this starts, where we remove the dampening blankets of shame and fear and not-enough and we start to shine. We are all in different places in our levels of accepting ourselves, but we all have a favorite list of things we’ve come to believe are wrong with us, so let’s start with self-acceptance and work from there.

Your challenge this week comes up the next time your inner critic starts to harp on you – come back with “and what’s wrong with that?” See where that questioning train of thought takes you and add a dose of compassion for your own beautiful soul.

As you move forward into the new year I’d like to suggest that you grab a copy of the LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday – it’s about creating connection and possibility – but also SELF CARE. And we can all use a little more self acceptance, self love, and self care. Grab a copy on Amazon or hit the website – loveyourstorypodcast.com for a link to the Amazon page.

Happy New Year. Great things lie ahead.

Thanks to Daryl Chen and Ideas.Ted.Com for the information shared on Henkel’s Ted Talk

Once upon a time in a land of bounty there lived a woman who knew the difference between a Christmas present and Christmas Presence. She was one of only a few who had slowed down enough to think about the power of being with her people vs. the power of doing things and buying stuff, but the difference it made significantly changed the experiences for all around her, but especially for herself.

As a woman, she saw herself as the guardian of her family. She had learned through many years of giving away and trying to meet outward expectations, that holding space for her to be herself and for her loved ones to be themselves, created a sacred space… held a space of sacredness for being present in the most important ways.

She created traditions carefully and on purpose and as those traditions were executed and played out she didn’t rush through them, she stayed fully present and enjoyed each moment, each person, each smile, each shift in energy.

As she held the space for sacred being she remained fully present to the moment, and this changed all her experiences. She had transformed from harried and rushed with doubts and fears as her carefully planned holiday events unfolded, to a space of presence that was slower, more allowing, and and done with great purpose.

One day as she opened her home to guests who were arriving for her dinner party, she had to remind herself that being present with her friends who were soon to arrive was more important than having each hor douvre plate perfectly situation and each napkin folded. “People care more about how you make them feel, than they do about the details of a situation,” she rehearsed. She took a deep breath as the door bell rang and as each guest arrived she didn’t hurry them in, she looked in their eyes, she let them know how grateful she was they had arrived, and then after careful connection with each she opened herself to allow things to unfold as they would, whether or not the night met her expectations. For things seldom unfolded as one expected. Tonight was no exception. As the party closed down they hadn’t had enough time to do the gift exchange at the end of the night – change of plans, people would just take a gift on their way out the door. Jamie, her friend’s husband had spilled a drink on the living room carpet, and Casandra, her friend from work, had gotten into it with one of the other guests, but holding space for each of her beloved friends and being present rather than embarrassed, rushed, or disappointed allowed her to thoroughly enjoy the evening exactly as it played out. As she raised her glass in a final toast she reminded them that this dinner party had been her gift to them for the season and that rather than a present she was so grateful for the gift of their presence in her home.

What might the gift of presence look like in your life? How might being present and intentional about each thing you do this holiday season change your experience into a sacred space rather than a harried space?

Today I have a guest – Rachel Reist here, who is is a licensed clinical social worker and a Qualified Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction instructor, trained through the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Healthcare, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Her career has been devoted to working with children, adolescents, and families and she currently works at the Davis Mindfulness Center.

I want to talk about some of the principles illustrated in the story I just told – things like being vs. doing and simplifying, and the power of attunement in our personal relationships. How do we hold space for ourselves and each other?

Tune in to the audio program to hear my discussion with Rachel about being vs. doing, slowing down, and the greatest gift we can give to others and ourselves.

My wish for you this holiday season is that you will create exactly what you want. That you will have the rich moments with the people you care for and that you will be able to give things of true value – your presence, your love, and memories you’ll all cherish. Be your celebrations large or small – remember the simplifying – when we are purposeful and present we change the nature of the experience. Create your best Christmas story this year.

Don’t forget to pick up copies of my book: LIVE Living Intentional and Fearless Every day for everyone on your gift list who is a seeker for better living. For everyone who needs a little more connection, possibility and self-care in their lives. Easiest shopping ever. Just grab it on Amazon and have it delivered right to your door. It’s also a fabulous, intentional gift to start a group or a family project to do all the 21 Challenges together and share the journey of filling your lives with good things.

Loveyourstorypodcast.com has all our past episodes, you can shop for the LYS t-shirt or there is a link to Amazon to get your copy of the book.

Have a wonderful holiday my friends. I’ll see you on the first Wednesday of the new year.