Love Your Story: Stories and discussions about personal growth, mindset and living with intention

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast - we are really knocking it out of the park in 2023. This is our 6th year doing the show and I’m so pleased to have collected so many wonderful stories and life tools for all of us to reference and use. SO MANY.

Thanks for being here and continuing to enjoy the show.

Today’s guest is going to blow your mind. Laura Doyle is a New York Times Bestselling Author, she is the star of Empowered Wives on Amazon Prime, and hosts The Empowered Wives Podcast. On her home page it says, “I show women the proven way to fix their relationships without their man’s conscious effort–even if it seems completely hopeless.” That sounds like magic.

Stay tuned for 3 secrets to make your marriage happier and all the relationship magic Ms. Laura can dish out in 30 minutes.

Insert LYS Quip

Are you ready for some incredible power tips? 

New York Times Best Selling author, Laura Doyle was the perfect wife…until she actually got married. When she told her husband how to be tidier, more romantic and more ambitious he avoided her. So she dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. In desperation she asked happily married women for their secrets, and that’s when she got her miracle…the man who had wooed her returned.

Laura wrote a book, to share what she had discovered, and it has been translated into 19 languages in 30 countries, and accidentally started a worldwide movement. 

She is the founder of the International relationship coach training school -called Laura Doyle Connect,she is the star of Empowered Wives on amazon Prime, the creator of The Ridiculously Happy Wife program and the host of The Empowered Wife podcast. She has been on The Today Show, Good Morning America and The View. She has worked with over 15,000 women and helped them fix even the most hopeless relationships.

Join us on the audio program to hear answers to questions like:

1. Let’s start with your story. It sounds like it might start at a place where all women in marriages have been - a space of trying to help your husband be his best self - at least that’s how we see it…. go ahead…

2. What are the most common mistakes women make when they’re trying to get their husband’s attention or affection?

3. How can you get your husband to help more with the house or the kids - the to do list?

4. You have 3 secrets to make your marriage happier - what are those?

5. Sometimes it’s hard to get our men to connect in deep converstation - you’ve got 4 suggestions for us, what are those?

6. You mentioned that there is a way to skyrocket the passion in a relationship, even if you’re in a sexless marriage - what does that mean? Enlighten me…

How to find Laura Doyle:

Email:[email protected]

Skype: laura.doyle44

Telephone: 7147263340

Website: lauradoyle.org

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauramdoyle/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauradoyle.org

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lauramdoyle

Brene Brown defines connection as, “The energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued. When they can give and receive without judgement.”

Personal relationships, especially with our significant other, are key to our health and happiness. It is key to a fulfilling life, and things that are important often take a lot of work. Today we’ve had some great tips from Laura. If there are some weak spots in your relationship, start with some of Laura’s advice and see what shifts. It’s always about taking action - things don’t change unless we take intentional action, and today we got some ideas to pay attention to. Choose at least one and impliment it.

Thanks for being here. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next fabulous episode on the Love Your Story podcast.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. 

Today is part 2 of a two-part story - the story of Peter Mutabazi. Peter joins me today, to share the incredible story of his life in Uganda, we are picking up where we left off in part 1. For his full story - please listen to part 1, because today we are going to look at the rest of the story and the other side of the coin. Part 1 is titled: What Kindness Can do. Part 2 is titled: What Hatred Can Do. The reason I am going to take an episode to talk in detail about hate, is because as I was reading Peter’s book “Now I Am Known,” one of the greatest turning points in his life came as he became a witness to the genocide in Rwanda. What he witnessed, what these events taught him, and how they affected the progress of his life.

Tune in for my talk with the author of “Now I am Known.”

“When I first saw the bodies floating down the Kagera River out of Rwanda and into Lake Victoria on the local television station, I knew something horrible was happening in our neighboring country. Every day I watched news reports showing hundreds upon hundreds of mutilated corpes floating down the river. Men. Women, Children. Some had been decapitated. Others wer cut open with other body parts missing. The bodies of children…I cannot speak of what was done to the bodies of the children. Over the course of three months, tens of thousands of bodies piled up in Lake Victoria and washed up on its shore. When the winds came out of the south and east you could not escape the smell of death…”

This is how the chapter “What hate can do” starts. 

Peter - Welcome back to the show. We loved hearing the first part of your incredible story a couple weeks ago…

Tune in as we hear the story of bodies floating down the river, the massacre in Rwanda, the ah-ha of how hate was affecting him and where that took him.

“I have seen firsthand the destructive power of hate, but I have also seen the healing power of generosity, acceptance, and love. We all have the opportunity to help others, inspire others, and love others from a sincere heart.”

I think the world is incredibly messy. We are hurt, we hurt others, we love people who have been hurt or are hurting. We want to forgive, we want to know how to help others deal with difficult things like trauma or neglect or hopelessness. It’s all so much. One of the things Peter said in his book was “Hurting people need to be heard. They need to know they are not alone.” And then I was listening to a Ted Talk about addiction and the way we try to punish and ostracize addicts, when research actually shows that people and lab animals don’t turn to drugs or destructive behaviors when they feel connected. The suggestion for healing was not to ostracize the difficult ones, but to let them know you care, even though that may be the most difficult move. At any rate, I believe the more we listen to these real life stories, the more we seek the higher road, the more we understand where hate takes the human heart and the opposite, where caring, forgiveness, empathy and kindness takes the human heart, we can take steps in the direction of light. 

There is no quick solution to the struggle to forgive, or to heal from trauma, but there is the choice everyday to choose kindness and love when we can, and to work on the moments where we can’t. 

Let’s end with a couple quotes:

Will Smith said, “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

May you move toward love, empathy and kindness today, with intention. See you in 2 weeks for the next episode of the LYS Podcast.

To find or contact Peter:

[email protected]

FB:FosterDadFlipper

LinkedIn: in/PeterMutabazi

https://nowiamknown.com/products/now-i-am-known-book

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast

Today’s story, “What Kindness Can Do,” starts out with the story of Peter Mutabazi.

Here's a clip from his book:

“The vine came down on me so fast I did not have time to duck. It ripped across my right arm and burned like fire. “You worthless piece of….” my father yelled as he swung the vine around like a bullwhip. I spun around to protect my face. “Don’t you turn away from me,” He grabbed my shoulder with his left hand, turned me around, and brought the vine down across my neck and chest. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my aunts, uncles, and cousins running out of their houses. They had come, not to stop my father, but to watch. Nyabikoni was a very small village. This passed for entertainment.”

Peter Mutabazi joins me today, to share his story of his life in Uganda, his brave escape from an abusive father at 10 years old, his subsequent life as a child living on the streets struggling daily to stay alive, and the fortuitous meeting of a man who would change Peter’s life, and in so doing change the lives his siblings, their children, and all the children Peter now helps as a foster parent.

Tune in for my talk with the author of “Now I am Known.”

Peter believes that every child and every person deserves to be known. He has dedicated his life to advocating for children and youth. Peter grew up feeling unheard and unseen. He knows what it feels like to believe you do not matter at all in the world. He also knows what it feels like to slowly come out of that, one small step at a time.

Join us on the audio program to hear his story...

“When I was ten years old, I’d given up on life.”

AND

“When James saw the good in me, I wasn’t very good at doing that myself. Not just with myself but with everyone. I expected the worst in people, and I usually managed to find it. Even today I must intentionally choose to look beyond behaviors and external circumstances and see the humanity within.” 

AND

“When a foster child moves from an abusive situation to a peaceful household, they feel like they’ve landed on an alien planet. When you find yourself in that place, all you want to do is go back to a familiar place, even if that home is hell. Hurting people do not deserve judgement. They need understanding They need patience. They need love. They need grace.”

Tune in to hear about his story, his book, his work and see if it doesn't leave you with a little shock and awe.

Peter’s story speaks for itself - What can kindness do? It can change an entire life and in so doing change many, many more lives.

To Contact Peter or buy your own copy of Now I Am Known:

[email protected]

FB:FosterDadFlipper

LinkedIn: in/PeterMutabazi

https://nowiamknown.com/products/now-i-am-known-book

As we close today’s show let’s think about where we can give a little more kindness. How can we give grace, patience, forgiveness, support. That’s going to look a little different for everyone, but take a moment and identify what that means for you. 

Thanks for being here. Thank you to those who have left a review for the show. I’d like to share this one from: Sam Sam Woo Woo 

Review Title: This podcast rocks

“I love this podcast, it forever changed my life. One of the hottest upcoming podcasts and everyone should listen.”

Amen brother.

If you haven’t left a review, it’s super easy and I’d love to hear from you - I may even read your review on the show. Have a great day and live it with intension.

Welcome to the LYS podcast. On this show we share stories - stories of big adventures, stories of big struggles, stories that allow us to share our experiences and learn from each other.

Today’s guest is a story teller, so get your cup of tea or cocoa, find a warm comfy blanket, and settle in for some stories that teach us a few lessons.

Samantha Hawkins, author of the children’s book “My Mommy Marches,” has been a 911 dispatcher for almost 8 years. She’s a training officer and instructor with Cobb County 911 in Marietta GA. She’s also a public speaker and a story teller.

Samantha was working disbatch during the riots that happened during the Black Lives Matter movement. She, being a black woman and a dispatcher and public servant, gets a unique view from both sides and I’ve invited her to be a guest on the show today to share some of her own stories.

Tune into the audio program to hear what brought Samantha to write the book, My Mommy Marches, and the right we all have to stand up for what we believe in.

I think part of living our lives intentionally is standing up for what we believe in - whatever that is - I think that’s really what your book is about. Everyone has a different set of beliefs, but we live in America where we all have the freedom of speech - at least in theory - and we get to support that for everyone while marching for what we believe in. And maybe marching means not being afraid to share your beliefs in social media. Maybe it means standing up for people who have a difficult time standing up for themselves. What does it mean to you?

In the audio program she shares 2 stories with us about how she learned to preserver. Join us for her stories.

To contact Samantha:

Instagram handle: @forevertellingtales

LinkedIn URL: 

https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/in/samantha-hawkins-2a045b3b

Pre-order My Mommy Marches:

https://www.amazon.com/My-Mommy-Marches-Samantha-Hawkins/dp/1915244129/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3OV5LJ2JS5NAC&keywords=my+mommy+marches&qid=1671720404&sprefix=my+mommy+marches%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-1

Samantha - thank you for sharing your storytelling and your life lessons. And thank YOU, dear listener, for being with us today. If you have some stories you’d like to share, I’ve been thinking of doing an episode or two that are a bit like The Moth - if you’ve ever listened to that it’s where people come and share their own 5-10 minute stories about an event in their life.

On the Love Your Story podcast website - loveyourstorypodcast.com, there is a page titled “guesting.” Go to that link and fill out that form with the subject line of Share My Story and let’s see where this leads us.

Description: Rosalie Mastaler was pushed into the world of disabilities when her son was bitten by his father's K9 police dog. Tune in for the story of courage and how the family creates good and recognizes miracles from this loss.

Shownotes:

Rosalie Mastaler learned about Disability Advocacy when her husband's police dog bit her son, Hunter, on February 8, 2015. Despite the trauma, Rosalie and Hunter chose to accept his disability and continue on with life. Rosalie learned that she couldn't change her son's choice to accept his disability, but she could give him tools and opportunities to help him. Hunter eventually accepted his disability and learned that happiness is a choice and that resilience is a journey. Rosalie was inspired by Hunter's ability to keep getting up and pushing forward, no matter how difficult or challenging the journey was.

Listen in to our discussion about:

1. How did a police dog bite Hunter and what were the rules around those dogs?

2. How did Rosalie and her husband cope with the guilt and the trauma of the situation?

3. How did Hunter's journey of resilience help shape Rosalie's perspective on life?

Visit Rosalie Mastaler’s Socials:

Mastaler Family on Instagram

Rosalie's Website

Rosalie on Facebook

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:19 Lori: Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. On this show, we share stories. We share stories of big adventures, stories of big struggles, stories that allow us to share our experiences and to learn from each other. And today's guest, Rosalie Mastaler, was pushed into the world of disabilities when her oldest son was attacked by a police canine and he lost the lower part of his left leg. She and her family now focus on being advocates for those with disabilities and helping people to keep hope was a big thing.

00:00:55 Lori: When Hunter, this is her son, became an amputee at just four years old, his parents had to negotiate a host of feelings, including guilt and grief and worry for how their son was going to adapt. The loss of his lower leg altered their lives and how they cared for him, of course. But Rosalie and Michael, his dad, soon realized that the most powerful tool that they could offer Hunter was resilience. I'm really interested about this resilience topic because it's so big for all of us. So stay tuned for their story and a peek at the Mastaler Party of Five.

00:00:43 Lori: Stories are our lives and language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I'm Lori Lee, and I'm excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you the listener ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

00:02:25 Lori: Mastaler Party of Five is the social media presence of the Mastaler family and their story. In 2015, Michael, that's the dad in this story, his police dog attacked Hunter, their four year old son. And the bite was so severe that they were forced to amputate his left leg below the knee. Seeing their names and their pictures in the news articles and the stories across the world was mortifying. And all they wanted was privacy to recover in peace.

00:02:54 Lori: As Hunter began to heal and adapt, they felt inspired to share their journey of hope in finding joy. They knew they were more than a tragedy. And so today, we get to talk with Mama Mastaler herself. Rosalie, welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

00:03:12 Rosalie: Hi, Lori. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

00:03:15 Lori: Absolutely. Let's jump right in with your story. Take us to what happened.

00:03:24 Rosalie: We're actually about to, I say celebrate the 8th anniversary of that day. We call it Hunter’s, Alive Day. It's almost like another birthday for him. So on February 8, 2015, I get a phone call from my husband saying that his police dog bit Hunter. And Hunter was four years old at the time like you had said. And I'm like, all right, I was out running a quick errand. And I'm like, okay, tell me what hospital. I need to meet you guys at.

00:03:57 Rosalie: He was very calm. But I mean he had been a police officer for over a decade by then. He knew how to handle these situations. And his calmness definitely kept me calm but it also didn't give me any inclination of how severe the situation was.

00:04:14 Lori: Well, tell me really quick. How were Hunter and the police dog interacting? What prompted it?

00:04:22 Rosalie: We don't know. There's a lot of misconceptions with police dogs. I think this is a good place to start because there are some police dogs that are just used to sniff things, whether it's drugs or bombs. Those could be very nice dogs like bloodhounds. You can go up to them and pet them and they're not going to care. But then you also have dogs that are trained to bite and train to go after that suspect and help the police officer contain them and take them down.

00:04:53 Rosalie: And the police dog that my husband had was one of those. He was trained to be a bite dog. And those dogs have tons of rules around them. They don't typically like to take them out to community events just because there's a lot of rifts with it as it being in our home, the family does not interact with it. It is not a family dog. It is not a pet. It was my husband's partner. And if he wasn't at work with him in his police unit training, then he was at home locked up in his kennel.

00:05:25 Rosalie: Now to give some backstory of how it happened was my husband had been working at a bootcamp that weekend and it's with troubled teens in his city. So I'm sure you can imagine how taxing that was on him for that weekend. It's only him and a few other officers that run it. And it's the very first weekend and he had been gone all weekend. And so that meant Django hadn't been with his partner all weekend.

00:05:51 Rosalie: We can only assume how Django was feeling when Michael came home and let him out. Probably very much wanted to be let out of his cage. So Michael came home, let him out of his cage. I told him, I'm running a quick errand. I'm taking my younger son, who was about 18 months at the time. He said, I'm going to leave Hunter here with you. Because Hunter, he was over four and a half, very capable of turning on the TV and just sitting there and doing his own thing. He was very, very independent.

00:06:20 Rosalie: Michael went up to take a shower. Because like I said, he'd been gone at a camp all weekend. And Hunter did not realize that I had left. And so he went looking for me. And it was very, very odd that he went looking in the backyard because we don't use our backyard. It was a smaller backyard. We rarely even played out there. I rarely went out there. But for some reason, he went looking in the backyard and Django was out there.

00:06:46 Rosalie: No one was around. No one knows how it happened. He tries to describe the event sometimes. But all I can assume is that he looked out the door and Django saw him. And Django's queue is that door opens and he makes his journey from that back door to the police unit, which is through the house to the garage.

00:07:08 Rosalie: Whenever that happened, me and the kids always stood back. We kept our distance. And he knew it was just a beeline to the car. That's how he was trained. So my guess is he opened the door. Django saw the door open, tried to go inside. And Hunter put out his leg to put some distance between them and Django put down on his leg.

00:07:28 Lori: Were there any repercussions for Django?

00:07:30 Rosalie: No, there were not. There was talk of them and yeah, there were not.

00:07:36 Lori: Okay, so go on with your story. I sidetracked you there.

00:07:40 Rosalie: No, you're totally fine because that's usually a very common question. And usually, people wonder, what did happen with him? He went to the previous owner, the previous handler. He was out of our lives pretty much instantly. There are zero bitter feelings towards him. He's a dog.

00:07:56 Lori: He did what he was trained to do.

00:07:58 Rosalie: And animals are animals. And we still love them. And people often wonder too, does Hunter still like dogs? He loves them. He loves them. He will pet them.

00:08:05 Lori: Oh, good.

00:08:06 Rosalie: Yeah. Anyways, so I get the phone call. And I just thought, oh, it was probably a little snap. He probably just needs stitches. Tell me where I'm going to the hospital. So a few phone calls went back and forth. Michael stayed very calm. And finally, we get to a phone call where I'm hearing people talking in the background. And I'm like, who is in the background? And he said, It's the paramedics.

00:08:30 Rosalie: And that's when I'm like, why are there paramedics at our house? What is going on? And he said, Rosalie, just get home as soon as you can. And I'm like, I want to know what's going on. And he had to hang up the phone because I think he's trying to coordinate everything, calls me back, and I hear him talking to the paramedic. And he said, where are you landing the bird? And I knew they were bringing in a helicopter for him.

00:08:56 Rosalie: And that's when I lost it. That's when I knew my son's life is in danger. I just need to get to him as soon as possible. Luckily, I was not the one driving. I happened to be with Michael's younger brother. He ran the errand with me. So he was driving and he drove us to the airport where the helicopter was. And I got there just in time for them to take off and take me and Hunter to the hospital.

00:09:20 Lori: Wow. I can only imagine.

00:09:22 Rosalie: Yeah.

00:09:22 Lori: So what happened from there?

00:09:24 Rosalie: It was a very quick 12-minute ride to the hospital. There were a lot of very sincere and some very specific moments from that drive to the hospital, to the airport, and then lifting us up to the hospital. The moment I got to Michael and he met me at the truck before we got to Hunter. And that interaction with him will stay with me for the rest of my life because he broke down.

00:09:56 Rosalie: And Michael, I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him crying. And we're high school sweethearts. We have known each other for many, many years. And it was a look on his face that I had never, ever seen before. And it was just guilt and pain and just so many words that I can't even fully describe how he looked. And the first thing he said to me is, it's all my fault.

00:10:21 Rosalie: And I felt so bad for him because nobody wants that guilt placed on their shoulders. And I immediately told him without any hesitation, I will never blame you for this. And I felt that so strongly and I still feel that. And there's never been a moment of blame. And we had a very brief moment together, very intimate. And then I got to Hunter right away. They got us on the helicopter. We lifted up. I was just trying my best to stay calm and to breathe.

00:10:52 Rosalie: And as we lifted up, there was this big, not necessarily mountains, but there's a small mountain range from where the airport was to get us to the children's hospital because there was not one in our area. And it's just very clear. There's not really a city. And the sun was setting. You can see, through the clouds, the sun and the mountains. And I just remember looking out the window and looking at the colors in the sky.

00:11:20 Rosalie: And I just knew that I was seeing God. And I just cried out to him. I said, please, I see you. I know that this is you. Please, protect my little boy. And I knew that He would. I knew that He would. I didn't know what that meant, but I just knew that He would protect him. And that moment of faith, I was able to hold on to that in the very beginning and to just hold on to it throughout the whole journey of everything.

00:11:49 Lori: So how was Hunter doing?

00:11:51 Rosalie: By the time I got to him, he was pretty sedated, so very quiet. I don't think he even really noticed if I was there. So yes, because I think they shot him up with morphine pretty quick when they got to him. So by the time I got to him, he’s just very calm. I don't even remember him saying anything to me.

00:12:08 Lori: So how long did it take before you knew you were going to have to have the leg amputated? And was all that decided pretty quickly?

00:12:15 Rosalie: No. So we get there and they rush him in right away. I knew they were going to get him into surgery, and they had me signed the consent form. And at this point, I was there by myself because Michael couldn't get in the helicopter with us. And a lot of it was a blur. And I just remember them reading out these things, okay, we're going to try and do this and this and this and this. And then at the very end of the consent form, it said, and if we have to, we will amputate his leg.

00:12:42 Rosalie: That's all I remember. I almost passed out. They caught me, sat me down in a chair. I scribbled my name and I could not fathom it. I could not imagine my child losing a limb. So they got him into surgery. They tried everything they could to repair everything. But they came out and they said, we've done everything we can. But we don't know if the blood flow is going to return through those veins. And what happens with small pediatric bodies when there's a rupture and a wound like that is there's an elasticity to the veins that closes them up pretty quick so they don't bleed out.

00:13:22 Rosalie: So it saved his life, but he lost his leg because of it. So it took about three days. And on February 11, his foot was just turning black and blue because there was no blood flow. And on February 11 is when they made the call, this is what we have to do, or else he's going to lose more of his leg, or there's going to be infection. And it's just going to get worse. And they amputated it that day.

00:13:45 Lori: Wow. So how did you and Michael do that day?

00:13:48 Rosalie: So that day, I think it was a miracle that we survived that day. I remember the day before and the days leading up to it, all I wanted to do was just cry nonstop. Just so many emotions. Whenever anyone talked to me, I just felt I just wanted to cry and cry and cry as my son lay in the hospital bed. We didn't know what was going to happen. It never pointed to him keeping his leg, but I still wanted to have faith that he would.

00:14:21 Rosalie: And so it was so many torn feelings and emotions of, I want this miracle, but I don't think it's going to happen. So the night before, I just remember being so upset thinking, how did this happen? We knew that it was going to happen that day. In the morning, Michael came in because I would stay the night at the hospital with him. So he came in that morning and we just sat there by Hunter's bed, and I just cried out to Michael.

00:14:51 Rosalie: And I'm like, this just isn't fair. It's not fair for him. I just don't understand. And Michael so calmly, and it just seemed like he was so empowered by faith, said to me, this is Heavenly Father's way of protecting him. And we went through all of the things that could have happened. He could have been bitten on different parts of his body. He could have died. He could have bled out. He could have lost more than just the bottom of his leg. We thought of all of our blessings and how he's still alive. And that was it. We just went into it with that faith.

00:14:35 Lori: That's beautiful. Yeah. So let me ask this then as a comparison. What was the hardest part of this for you and then what was the most beautiful part of it for you?

00:15:45 Rosalie: The part initially, the trauma wise? Is that what you're referring to?

00:15:51 Lori: Whatever you went.

00:15:52 Rosalie: Whatever it went. Okay.

00:15:54 Lori: The whole experience. You talked about being able to purposefully transition into a space of gratitude and restructuring the story so that it was supportive of you, which is such a fabulous resilient skill. So you showed that right off the bat. And in doing so, obviously, with these kinds of events, with the hard stuff in our lives, there's always things that we learn and get things out of it. And so what is the thing that has been the best for you? And then what was the low point as well? Just so we have this comparison.

00:16:27 Rosalie: Yeah, so I'll start with the low point. So we can get to the happier part. I think the hardest thing was watching him struggle and realizing...

Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of good things? Am I worthy of success?

I have a couple family members who have recently discussed with me feelings of unworthiness because of religious or cultural messages. It’s come up as a topic in multiple groups recently, so it’s been on my radar.

So, when Chris Hawker, co-founder of Next level Trainings, recently was featured on the Spirit River Coaching Summit speaking on “Are you worthy enough to love yourself - tools to magnify worthiness and move you forward,” I reached out to him right away to see if he’d talk to us about this universal struggle. The struggle to feel we are worthy of all the good stuff.

Tune in for our talk about how to embrace our worthiness and the tools to help us do that. 

I believe in light and in darkness, I believe in good and in evil. I believe in these things because I’ve experienced what it’s like to sit in love and light, and I’ve experienced what it’s like to feel fear and shame and the hell it brings. I believe in God and light and love, and I believe in Satan, who seeks to keep us small and miserable, filled with self-loathing and self rejection. As I have watched people, done interviews, read transformational biographical stories of the human struggle, and taken note of our predominant struggles as humankind, I have come to the conclusion that feeling unworthy is one of the greatest tool that separates us from light and love. Feelings of self loathing and self doubt are amplified by our natural negativity bias, the devil on our shoulder seems to always be ready to cut us to the quick, ready to make us doubt ourselves and our worthiness for good things, for love, for success. Basic life struggles are instantly met with the idea that we are not enough.

The reason this tool is so powerful in stopping us, is that when we buy into the belief that we are unworthy we will play small. We will not share our talents with the world, which rips everyone off - us and the world. We slink in the shadows, living well below what we are capable. I suspect one of the biggest battles we will ever engage in during our lives is the fight, within our own minds, to accept our brilliance, our worthiness, our potential, and our beauty as humans. 

This is why I’m so pleased today to talk with Chris Hawker about tools for magnifying our worthiness so we can move forward in big and fabulous ways. 

Let me introduce him - Chris Hawker is a transformational leadership trainer, inventor and professional speaker. He has trained teams at organizations like Duracell and McDonald’s. He coaches leaders in living vision-driven lives. His award-winning inventions have received 40 patents, and his work has been featured in USA Today, the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. He is co-founder of Next Level Trainings, which has trained thousands of individuals, raising over $4M in charitable donations. He resides in Columbus, OH, with his wife, son and dog

Tune into the audio program to hear our discussion about things like:

1. Let’s start out with your story - what has been your path to a full acceptance of your self worth?
2. What is self worth?
3. Where does it come from?
4. Why does doing the work to shed the unworthy feelings we have matter?
5. How do you coach people as they work on reclaiming a deep sense of self worth? What do we do to get self worth?
6. I’d like to get your thoughts on a couple of quotes - one you are familiar with and one is a surprise - 

First one:

Roy T. Bennett said, “If you want to fly, you have to give up what weights you down” 

Second one:

Maya Angelou said, “I learned a long time ago, the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side.”

To contact Chris:

[email protected]

In my heart-of-hearts I feel a deep sadness at how we all, me included, sell ourselves short. I think we live well below our possibilities and privileges, and I hope in some small way this episode today can start to shift that a little for everyone who hears it.

We are so worthy of really good things - we are souls with so much potential, and at the end of our lives wouldn’t that be the safest part, to look back and realize what we could have done, created, experienced, felt if only we had unstop our own light and possibility.

Your challenge this week is to think some something you feel unworthy of. Choose something that Chris has said today and actively start healing that erroneous thought. Sometimes those feelings of unworthiness are easily untethered - seek in meditation or prayer what your path is to healing them. The path and need is different for everyone, but this is a call to start accepting your worthiness. Do the work to embrace that. 

Thanks for being here today, and thanks to all who are leaving reviews.

Here’s a quick share:

Thanks to Delled28 from United States

Uplifting & Real

The stories shared here and the perspectives of owning our own story is so powerful. Thank you Lori for creating a beautiful platform where we can all learn to embrace the ups and downs of our own stories with grace and gratitude.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’ve struggled for a month, since I read Dawn Kohler’s book, The Messages, to figure out how to introduce this woman, what direction to take our discussion, and how to adequately portray the events that took place in her life….I’ve come up with nothing that seems to fully do the job so I’m just going to say “wow” and jump right in. 

In her 30’s Dawn’s body simply would not let her get out of her car as she pulled into her thriving, award-winning computer company, for another day as CEO in a job she loved. She couldn’t get her hand to open the door. After sitting for hours she finally drove home and started on one of the most interesting and spiritual journey’s I’ve ever read about. She says, “by sheer self-mutiny, the self I was born to be decided to hijack the one I had created.”

Tune into the audio for Dawn Kohler’s story and the amazing things we are going to learn from it.

Dawn Kohler was an award-winning entrepreneur in the computer industry when she was abruptly summoned to take a life-altering course. What followed was an extraordinary healing journey from childhood abuse and rape. This journey took a giant toll on her, on her family, and on her marriage, but it gave her profound insights, incredible healing, and deep understanding. Combining these insights, and her business experience, Dawn became a sought-after Executive Coach helping leaders understand and enhance their impact on others and their contribution to the world. Her clients have included many of the most influential women in entertainment, as well as senior leaders at Sony Pictures, NBC Universal, Lionsgate, DreamWorks, Fox, Snapchat, Disney, and Amazon. 

Dawn is the author of 3 books including her recent memoir, The Messages, a prophetic journey.

Tune into my talk with Dawn. Here are just some of the things we talk about:

1. While your book, The Messages, is the whole detailed story, will you please tell the listeners your story, and then we’ll move into where that brought you?
2. In your recent memoir, you share the story of how you came to receive a series of what you experienced as divine messages. What were the messages? How will they impact us? And why do you think they came to you, a secular businesswoman? 
3. In your book you share a conversation with your therapist where she said, “You followed your messages, faced your fears, encountered great upheavals, and released a lifetime of stored emotions that, honestly, I’m surprised have not killed you by now., It’s the hero’s journey. you want through the crucible in order to come out the other side and bring back a treasure to the kingdom.”
4. The onset of your personal journey was marked by high anxiety and depression. We are certainly seeing an increase in both in our culture, do you think those symptoms are a kind of summons or awakening for all of us? 
5. How do we answer the call to a greater life? Why are some called and some aren’t?
6. In your book you say, “People need to understand how important it is to take responsibility for their own healing. We can avoid so much suffering if we embrace who we really are and learn to love more deeply.” How do we do this?
7. You also said, “Our spirit is always trying to heal us, deepen our capacity to love, and guide us to where we can best serve. We just have to listen and follow our own path.” I want to talk about “our own path.” Your experience is incredible, but very different from my understanding of how the universe works. My sons are on paths that I can’t fully understand. This idea of our “own path” is really opening me up to allowance, but how do we support each other when our understanding and belief in a certain path differs from how someone else, especially people we love, are unfolding?

CONTACT DAWN OR BUY HER BOOK:

• For more information about our guest today Dawn Kohler, or to sign up for one of Dawn’s upcoming workshop, please go to www.DawnKohler.com
• To purchase, or read a sample of Dawn’s new book- The Messages, you can find it here on Amazon 
• To follow dawn on Facebook please go to https://www.facebook.com/dawnkohlerauthor

Here’s a thought…what are you doing in your life to move toward love, to move toward healing? Consider that question this week. I believe, when we all do our little parts, the difference it makes for the whole is monumental, for the whole is all of the parts. 

Consider what needs healing in you, and how you can move toward bringing more love into the world, and then take steps to do just that. That IS our best life….

Thanks for leaving a review - I want to share one that was left be a listener: 

Loving this podcast!!!

December 5, 2021

I’ve only listened to two episodes and I’m already feeling how much this podcast is positively improving my life. I’m so glad this podcast exists and can’t wait to listen to all of the episodes and reflect on my life and work towards loving my story

by rweisz8 from United States

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is Part 2 of Bang Head Here. We’re back with Hollie and Josh, the authors of Bang Head Here, and today we are talking shop. In Part 1 we got their stories, of Hollie’s troubled youth and how it put her on this incredible path, so go back and listen to part 1 to get her full story. 

And we got Josh’s story of being a young man in Morocco and working with refugees from West Africa, watching their abuse and deportment that became so formative for him as he built a life of humanitarian work.

Today we want to move on with our conversation with them so we can glean insight from their wisdom.

Hollie and Josh, welcome back to the show.

Let’s dive right back into our conversation and pick up where we left off…..Last episode we finished up with the challenges teens are having with connection, this episodes let’s go to the next obvious question:

Tune into our conversation about:

1. What keeps parents from connecting with their teens and young adult children?

2. Why are you able to connect with teens when the parents cannot?

3. Let’s talk about developing resilience. In your book you talk about the need of accepting that pain is a part of life. You say, “We realized that we didn’t really know what it meant to look at pain without trying to avoid it. In essence we didn’t know how to be ok with not feeling ok.” Let’s talk about this idea of acceptance of all the emotions of living, but then let’s talk about how this is a part of becoming resilient. 

4. How do we fill our resiliency tanks? How do we lay a foundation of resiliency?

5. Why do young people listen and how do you keep their attention? “In your book you gave some great advice - “Make sure what you say today is living and void of judgement.” “If you can make them feel loved and valued at least once a day, you’ll have a great start.”

6. How do we deal with and avoid pain? What are healthy ways of dealing with pain?

How to contact Hollie and Josh:

WEBSITE: https://www.joshandhollie.com/

EMAIL: [email protected]

FACEBOOK: @joshandholliecoaching

INSTAGRAM: @josh_and_hollie

TWITTER: @JoshHollie2

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about how hard communication is for everyone. When you think about it, we all have different experiences, different triggers, different insecurities, different stories about everything. And with those stories that we are telling ourselves in our own heads, we are creating different realities. In Bang Head Here, Josh and Hollie say, “We know very little about what’s going on her to really know what’s going on. It’s a reminder that we need to keep our initial opinions and perceptions out of the equation until we have had enough time to be curious, ask questions and create different perspectives and possibilities, and to give the benefit of the doubt.”

Your challenge this week is to give someone the benefit of the doubt. When you are hit with frustration or fear in one of your relationships, give them the benefit of the doubt and approach them with that in mind.

So many teens right now seem to struggle so deeply. Suicide rates are so high. Social media doesn’t help. We’re dealing with the first generation being raised on the internet, hitting our heads against that proverbial wall, and finding our way around outcomes we’ve not had to deal with before. Bang Head Here may be a great resource for you. 

We’ll see you in two weeks.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

What do you get when you bring together a woman who was an at-risk teen, with severe troubles in her family of origin, and a man who on his LDS mission to Morroco worked with thousands of African refugees who were abused by guards and eventually deported, despite all their struggles, to make a better life? What you get is a dynamic duo who have partnered together, after years of their own experience in social work - like violence prevention and humanitarian programs, to help families and troubled youth learn to communicate and solve pain points.

You also get a new book called: Bang Head Here. 

Tune in because we are going to get into their stories, as well as the tremendous work they are doing and you’ll definitely learn some things about communicating with your loved ones.

Today’s podcast is about a number of things. It’s about how to communicate in families, especially with at-risk youth. It’s about how to recognize the part we play, as parents and caregivers, in the miscommunications that occur. It’s about sharing the life experiences of two people who have taken some traumatic experiences and turned them into skills to share and help families communicate better. It’s ultimately about using what they know to help others along the path of building better life stories.

We have a couple “guides” with us today. Let me introduce them:

First, Hollie:

Hollie has been training teens and adults for over twenty years. Her training work began in the field of violence prevention and dating violence prevention. Hollie has trained thousands of teens and young adults to recognize the warning signs that lead to violent and deadly relationships.

She is an active parent & teen coach who specializes in working with at-risk teens and young adults and their parents. She understands the struggle and nuances of these relationships primarily because she once was an "at-risk teen" who has found a way to reconnection within a family structure that once was failing.

Josh:

With over 15 years of experience working with youth and family in over a dozen countries, Josh brings a very unique perspective to healing and family culture. Having worked alongside thousands of young people and having been inside hundreds of struggling households, Josh's experience has led to deep and powerful insights that help create a new path of healing. 

Having worked for the past decade creating social programs for youth in the US and abroad, Josh brings his 15 years of experience working with youth to help solve real pain points the youth are facing.

Tune in to the audio program to hear about his story serving in Morocco on an LDS mission. In a Spanish provence there was a refugee camp where thousands of West Africans were coming up to create a better life in Europe. He was tasked with building a church and helping the refugees - creating an English speaking branch. He worked with these people building good spaces for them. The refugees had to deal with very difficult psychological issues, abuse from the guards physically, verbally, sexually abused - rape was an issue. The overcrowding was severe. In addition the refugees had the horrible struggles in their travels to actually get to where they were - friends being eaten by wild animals, drinking their own urine to survive on the trail, women having to sell their bodies. He grew very close to these people as he walked with them on this path. One day he got on his boat to go to mainland Spain with his branch, when they were all apprehended by local authorities and his entire branch was deported to their countries of origin. He never saw them again and the trauma of the event caused a great deal of personal struggle. He started his program to honor these people. It became a very meaningful and formative time in his life.

This is the first of a 2-part series highlighting the work you to do, as well as your own personal stories. With two of you, who have very interesting personal stories as well as lots of wisdom to impart to us, we’re going to give this two full episodes.

Let’s start with Josh’s story -

Tune to hear Josh and Hollie's person stories and then we get down to talking shop:

We talk about:

What trends are you seeing that are causing so much disconnection in families? 

What are the biggest challenges teens face when it comes to connection?

In your book you say, “Your connection with your loved one is incredibly vital to their emotional stability and their healing process.” I loved this point because sometimes in my own family I wonder if I just need to get out of the way, but it was a reminder that I need to do what I can to make a good connection, because that’s going to help them in their process of growth and healing. In fact, further on in the book you said that we should be asking the question: “What can I do to build a stronger relationship with my loved one so that when she starts to struggle, I am connected enough to help her solve her conflict.”

Part 1 ends here, but in two weeks tune in for the rest of the story. For the answers to more burning questions about communication and connection between teens and parents as they work to write their best life story with the people they love. Share this with someone who needs to hear it.

To order Bang Head Here or to contact Hollie and Josh:

Website: https://www.joshandhollie.com/

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: @joshandholliecoaching

Instagram: @josh_and_hollie

Twitter: @JoshHollie2

We’ll see you in two weeks for Part II.

Welcome to the LYS Podcast. Today’s episode is one of my favorites of the year because it celebrates what you, the listeners, enjoyed most over the past year. I love looking at the top 5 episodes because it tells me about our past year, what resonated with everyone - which episodes lifted your spirits, connected with you, gave you what you wanted to create your best life story.

But I also love this episode because it’s a fun listen - you get to hear little teasers of the favorite shows, and decide which ones you may want to go back and listen to or share.

Click the link to find out the top 5 listener-favorites for the year.

So let’s get started with the top 5 episodes of 2022.

Coming in at #5 is Episode 214 - Walking on Water. In this episode we discuss the deep importance of us of learning to walk with faith, of coming to understand what it is, why it’s important, and how to develop and use it in our own lives. I share clips from 3 excellent women who are expert on the topic and we talk about how we have to have more faith in our why, in ourselves, and in our supportive universal purpose and God, than we have in fear. 

In this clip I have just grabbed a little piece from the first of these women. Take a listen.

#4

Having the faith to take action in your life is a HUGE step to making things happen, but one of the next most powerful steps in creating a peaceful life is the ability to see how our trials help us to grow - to be able to recognize that the shit of life is the fertilizer….

I’ll add in this little thought as well. I was reading a symposium paper on why bad things happen, and there was a wonderful section that talked about how we CANNOT learn to forgive without being hurt and having someone to forgive. We cannot learn patience without having to struggle with the shortage of time, we can’t gain understanding and empathy without knowing a particular pain - someone who has struggled with illness can understand another who struggles with this also. etc.. While our desire to avoid pain is strong, growth, understanding and the development of Christ-like qualities comes only through knowing the opposite side of it. 

Which takes us to #4 - Episode 227, my interview with Carrington Smith, the author of Blooming: Finding Gifts in the Shit of Life

Here’s a clip from listener favorite #4: (Tune into the audio program)

You can find the whole episode that includes her numerous personal stories of rape and abuse and how she comes to claim her story. Episode 227.

#3

Now, What is #3 for 2022? The 3rd most downloaded episode is: Episode 218 - Life Engineered with Rusty Lindquist. 

I’m loving this countdown, because each of the top downloads, as it turns out, are all super life tools.

#5 - Having the faith to step out and take action

#4 - Understanding that our trials and failures are really our greatest tools for building our character and refining us.

And now, in #3 - Creating our life with intention - Engineering the life you want on purpose

Tune into the audio program to hear a clip from my interview with Rusty Lindquist.

To listen to the entire episode, pull up episode 218 on your app or on loveyourstorypodcast.com 

#2

Now we are to #2 - The second most downloaded episode this year was:

Episode 212: Domestic Violence: Interview Brielle Cotterman and Melissa Haenchen

Brielle Cotterman shared her attempted murder story, and Melissa Haenchen of the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition shared tips for escaping a domestic violence situation in this episode.

In this clip you’ll hear part of her story, but the larger episode goes into a lot more detail about grooming, what to watch out for, and how to seek help. Here’s a taste of the #2 favorite for 2022.

To listen to the entire episode, find episode 212 and listen as these two women share so many good pointers gained from their own experiences - with Brielle having experienced it herself, and with Melissa working with so many woman with so many stories.

#1

We are finally to #1! The most downloaded show of 2022 was: Episode 211: Healthy Co-Parenting - my interview with Jae Behrman and Amanda Louder.

This episode was fascinating because it’s not very often that you get to speak with both a husband and a wife, who have divorced, and who take responsibility for their parts in the dissolution of the marriage. It was such an interesting interview because Amanda was very clear in calling out Jae’s abuses, but Jae was incredible in claiming them, learning from them, and sharing how they had both grown. No Jerry Springer drama….though it certainly could have been.

Before I share the clip, let me just say, I love the topic of this episode because taking about healthy co-parenting is not something you hear very often, and yet it is a topic that should get a lot more air time because so many of us need to know how to do it, and need to do better at it. So, definitely take in the whole episode if you missed this one, especially if you co-parent in a divorce situation.

This number 1 episode with Jae and Amanda stands out because of their honesty with the audience and with each other. It stands out because we are talking about something that doesn’t get talked about enough - healthy co-parenting, and it stands out because it’s so unique to have people claiming their responsibility for breaking things, and being able to share appreciation for growth in relationships that have caused so much pain. Jae and Amanda set a great example for all who do or will walk the path of broken marriage and co-parenting. Thanks to them, and thanks to all who have been on the show this year!! I’m deeply grateful to all of you for what I have learned and for your courage. 

As we end the show - I want to thank YOU for being here. Really! Thank you for sharing this time with me.

And, thanks to all who have hopped on and left a review for the show. I appreciate you very much. Please do now, if you haven’t. I want to share a review we got from  jla1206 from United States. JLA 1206 says:

Title: Lori creates a safe place for all of us

I was not always been comfortable with my story. This podcast has helped me see the beauty, depth, joy, richness, and compassion available to me regardless of how hard my story seemed at times. I love every interview and insight offered. And feel like Lori does an exceptional job at creating a safe place for all of us to discover and fall in love with our stories. Thank you Lori for sharing your gifts with us!

Have a wonderful close out of 2022 and a wonderful New Year! A quick reminder about LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 Life Connection Challenges. If you still need Christmas gifts, this book is more than a gift - it’s a path to living life with more connection, self-care and possibility, and what could be more wonderful than that? It spells out all the 21 Challenges - 21 Life Hacks that are fun to implement, but provide you with so many tips for living your life on purpose. You can find it on Amazon or go to LoveYourStoryPodcast.com for a link that will take you there!!

Please come back and join us in 2023 for another year of brave stories, insights, lessons, struggles and successes. Happy New Year!