Feminism, Gynarchy, or Matriarchy? Lov(ette) or Leave It — Episode 4:

This episode is drawn from a recorded expert lecture on matriarchal governance, patriarchal systems, and feminist theory, originally delivered to researchers, policy advisors, and institutional leaders across three continents.

It challenges the growing misuse of “matriarchy” in Western feminist discourse and clarifies why true matriarchal systems reject hierarchy rather than rebrand it through optics.

Why Gynarchy Isn’t Matriarchy: Misreadings in Feminist Discourse

What many label “matriarchy” today isn’t liberation, it’s gynarchy: patriarchy repackaged in different attire.

In this episode, I unpack how Western feminist frameworks, institutional DEI efforts, and media misread matriarchal systems throu

gh a hierarchical lens. Drawing on African matrilineal traditions, oral governance models, and my consulting work with universities, NGOs, and equity-focused organizations, I offer a structural breakdown of care-centered leadership vs. control-based power.

We cover:

* Why replacing men with women in power doesn’t dismantle patriarchy

* How trauma-led leadership often reenacts institutional harm

* The difference between aesthetic feminism and matriarchal ethics

* How colonial frameworks obscure living matriarchal systems

* Why many are distancing from families and institutions where control—not care—was central

This isn’t theory. It’s lived. Practiced. Protected.

For scholars, educators, DEI professionals, anthropologists, feminist theorists, political scientists, and institutional decision-makers—this is essential listening.

🔊 Press play. Share intentionally. Cite with credit.

📌 If your feminism still clings to hierarchy, this episode will ask why.

📞 For keynote lectures, university partnerships, or equity training: [[email protected]]

Who is Lovette Jallow?

Lovette Jallow is one of Scandinavia’s most influential voices on systemic racism, intersectional justice, and human rights. A nine-time award-winning author, keynote speaker, lecturer, and humanitarian, she specializes in neurodiversity, workplace inclusion, and structural policy reform.

Lovette brings an unmatched perspective rooted in both lived experience and professional expertise. Her work bridges the gap between theory, research, and action, helping organizations move beyond performative diversity efforts toward sustainable, structural change.

Her expertise has been sought by global publications like The New York Times, on high-profile legal cases, and by international humanitarian organizations, where she has provided critical insights on racial justice, policy reform, and equity-driven leadership.

Follow Lovette Jallow – DEIB Strategist, Keynote Speaker & Humanitarian:

* Website: lovettejallow.com

* LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lovettejallow

* Instagram: instagram.com/lovettejallow

* YouTube: youtube.com/@jallowlovette

* Twitter/X: twitter.com/lovettejallow

* Bluesky: bsky.app/profile/lovettejallow.bsky.social

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

Feminism, Gynarchy, or Matriarchy? Lov(ette) or Leave It — Episode 4:

This episode is drawn from a recorded expert lecture on matriarchal governance, patriarchal systems, and feminist theory, originally delivered to researchers, policy advisors, and institutional leaders across three continents.

It challenges the growing misuse of “matriarchy” in Western feminist discourse and clarifies why true matriarchal systems reject hierarchy rather than rebrand it through optics.

Why Gynarchy Isn’t Matriarchy: Misreadings in Feminist Discourse

What many label “matriarchy” today isn’t liberation, it’s gynarchy: patriarchy repackaged in different attire.

In this episode, I unpack how Western feminist frameworks, institutional DEI efforts, and media misread matriarchal systems throu

gh a hierarchical lens. Drawing on African matrilineal traditions, oral governance models, and my consulting work with universities, NGOs, and equity-focused organizations, I offer a structural breakdown of care-centered leadership vs. control-based power.

We cover:

* Why replacing men with women in power doesn’t dismantle patriarchy

* How trauma-led leadership often reenacts institutional harm

* The difference between aesthetic feminism and matriarchal ethics

* How colonial frameworks obscure living matriarchal systems

* Why many are distancing from families and institutions where control—not care—was central

This isn’t theory. It’s lived. Practiced. Protected.

For scholars, educators, DEI professionals, anthropologists, feminist theorists, political scientists, and institutional decision-makers—this is essential listening.

🔊 Press play. Share intentionally. Cite with credit.

📌 If your feminism still clings to hierarchy, this episode will ask why.

📞 For keynote lectures, university partnerships, or equity training: [[email protected]]

Who is Lovette Jallow?

Lovette Jallow is one of Scandinavia’s most influential voices on systemic racism, intersectional justice, and human rights. A nine-time award-winning author, keynote speaker, lecturer, and humanitarian, she specializes in neurodiversity, workplace inclusion, and structural policy reform.

Lovette brings an unmatched perspective rooted in both lived experience and professional expertise. Her work bridges the gap between theory, research, and action, helping organizations move beyond performative diversity efforts toward sustainable, structural change.

Her expertise has been sought by global publications like The New York Times, on high-profile legal cases, and by international humanitarian organizations, where she has provided critical insights on racial justice, policy reform, and equity-driven leadership.

Follow Lovette Jallow – DEIB Strategist, Keynote Speaker & Humanitarian:

* Website: lovettejallow.com

* LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lovettejallow

* Instagram: instagram.com/lovettejallow

* YouTube: youtube.com/@jallowlovette

* Twitter/X: twitter.com/lovettejallow

* Bluesky: bsky.app/profile/lovettejallow.bsky.social

Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Get full access to The Lovette Jallow Perspective at lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

Self-Care That Makes Sense for Autistic and Neurodivergent Women

I’m Lovette Jallow, autistic, ADHD, and committed to sharing tools that center self-respect, not self-optimization. I write for those of us who live at the intersection of sensory overwhelm, survival planning, and emotional nuance.

This series offers short-form strategies rooted in lived experience, disability awareness, and autonomy designed for autistic and neurodivergent women who are tired of generic advice.

Take what works (Love it/Love(tte), you get it). Adapt what fits. Leave the rest (Leave it).

It’s not about performing wellness. It’s about protecting your peace.

Each piece offers direct, sensory-considerate, and emotionally honest practices that reflect how we actually live not how others expect us to.

If this is your first time here, welcome. And if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, know it’s still for you.

Self-Care Across Time: A Life Hack for Autistic Women

My latest neurodivergent life hack?

Thinking of myself in past, present, and future tense. Not fixing things for others but just showing up for myself across time.

Here’s how it plays out:

Current me: “Oh no… future Lovette is due on in a few days.”

Cue action mode to mitigate and prepare:

* Fresh sheets

* Face masks

* Diapers/Pads stocked

* Cookie hidden by the bed

* Medicine and vitamins stocked.

* Kindle charged

* Favorite foods prepped and frozen

* House tidied, potpourri scented

Then the day arrives.

I’m tired. Overstimulated. In Pain. Emotional. Avoiding everyone.

But when I look around, past Lovette already showed up. She left snacks. She lit incense. She even placed a fresh “diaper” in reach, like the thoughtful autistic queen she is.

The foresight? Elite. The execution? Neurodivergent excellence.

She also blocked annoying people from my DMs, set auto-replies, and cleared my inbox. I didn’t have to ghost anyone—she already handled it. I uphold those boundaries so she doesn’t have to return and deal with repair, anxiety, or cleanup.

Creating an Internal Support System When External Help Is Lacking

Right now, I’m folding the softest PJs while watching Disney not just for comfort, but because past Lovette asked for it. She hates doing laundry when ADHD hits, but she’s great with dishes when my autistic texture sensitivities spike during chronic illness.

This is how I care for myself in shifts. It’s a partnership with myself. It’s practical love.

This Is About Safety, Not Productivity: Why I Build in Advance

This isn’t about being high-functioning, ultra-organized, or performing some commercialized version of self-care.

It’s not aspirational. It’s survival.

I’m disabled. I lack consistent support. So I’ve had to build systems that preempt collapse because no one’s coming to catch me when I hit the edge.

I developed this rhythm after years of burnout, shutdowns, and carrying more than I ever should have loving others in their languages while abandoning my own.

This is a trauma-informed, neurodivergent structure I use to protect my future self. To stay emotionally intact. To reduce overwhelm before it becomes crisis.

Recognizing Real Care: What Practicing Self-Compassion Taught Me

Whether you’re partnered, poly, or single by choice you are or can be the curator of your love language (non commercialized). And you practice it on yourself first.

My philosophy:

I care and show grace for myself across past, present, and future so I can recognize what real care feels like when it shows up—whether in friendship, business, or romance. I also know when it doesn’t, and when it needs gentle redirection.

What’s one small thing your past self could do for your future self this week?

Think sensory. Think soothing. Think realistic.

Try it once, and let yourself feel what it’s like to be cared for by you. How does your love feel to you?

That’s it for this round of Love(tte) or Leave It: Life Hacks: where you can love it and use it, tweak it to fit your life, or leave it for someone else who might need it.

Short. Sensory-safe. Neurodivergent-approved.

See you next time, when past you might just surprise you.

Want more writing on autism, burnout, and neurodivergent survival?

If this resonated, you might also appreciate these essays and podcasts on being Neurodivergent.

To book me for keynotes, panels, or consulting:

If you're an organization, institution, or collective committed to real change not checkbox diversity you can contact me directly: [https://lovettejallow.com/] | [[email protected]]

I speak internationally on subjects including but not limited to African matriarchal systems, Fulani governance, neurodivergence in pre-colonial societies, anti-racism, intersectionality, and structural violence.

My talks draw from lived experience, academic research, and cultural fluency across seven languages. I do not dilute or perform knowledge for spectacle. I teach from lineage, not theory.

Who is Lovette Jallow?

Lovette Jallow is one of Scandinavia’s most influential voices on systemic racism, intersectional justice, and human rights. A nine-time award-winning author, keynote speaker, lecturer, and humanitarian, she specializes in neurodiversity, workplace inclusion, and structural policy reform.

Lovette brings an unmatched perspective rooted in both lived experience and professional expertise. Her work bridges the gap between theory, research, and action, helping organizations move beyond performative diversity efforts toward sustainable, structural change.

Her expertise has been sought by global publications like The New York Times, on high-profile legal cases, and by international humanitarian organizations, where she has provided critical insights on racial justice, policy reform, and equity-driven leadership.

Follow Lovette Jallow – DEIB Strategist, Keynote Speaker & Humanitarian:

Website: lovettejallow.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lovettejallow

Instagram: instagram.com/lovettejallow

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

Self-Care That Makes Sense for Autistic and Neurodivergent Women

I’m Lovette Jallow, autistic, ADHD, and committed to sharing tools that center self-respect, not self-optimization. I write for those of us who live at the intersection of sensory overwhelm, survival planning, and emotional nuance.

This series offers short-form strategies rooted in lived experience, disability awareness, and autonomy designed for autistic and neurodivergent women who are tired of generic advice.

Take what works (Love it/Love(tte), you get it). Adapt what fits. Leave the rest (Leave it).

It’s not about performing wellness. It’s about protecting your peace.

Each piece offers direct, sensory-considerate, and emotionally honest practices that reflect how we actually live not how others expect us to.

If this is your first time here, welcome. And if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, know it’s still for you.

Self-Care Across Time: A Life Hack for Autistic Women

My latest neurodivergent life hack?

Thinking of myself in past, present, and future tense. Not fixing things for others but just showing up for myself across time.

Here’s how it plays out:

Current me: “Oh no… future Lovette is due on in a few days.”

Cue action mode to mitigate and prepare:

* Fresh sheets

* Face masks

* Diapers/Pads stocked

* Cookie hidden by the bed

* Medicine and vitamins stocked.

* Kindle charged

* Favorite foods prepped and frozen

* House tidied, potpourri scented

Then the day arrives.

I’m tired. Overstimulated. In Pain. Emotional. Avoiding everyone.

But when I look around, past Lovette already showed up. She left snacks. She lit incense. She even placed a fresh “diaper” in reach, like the thoughtful autistic queen she is.

The foresight? Elite. The execution? Neurodivergent excellence.

She also blocked annoying people from my DMs, set auto-replies, and cleared my inbox. I didn’t have to ghost anyone—she already handled it. I uphold those boundaries so she doesn’t have to return and deal with repair, anxiety, or cleanup.

Creating an Internal Support System When External Help Is Lacking

Right now, I’m folding the softest PJs while watching Disney not just for comfort, but because past Lovette asked for it. She hates doing laundry when ADHD hits, but she’s great with dishes when my autistic texture sensitivities spike during chronic illness.

This is how I care for myself in shifts. It’s a partnership with myself. It’s practical love.

This Is About Safety, Not Productivity: Why I Build in Advance

This isn’t about being high-functioning, ultra-organized, or performing some commercialized version of self-care.

It’s not aspirational. It’s survival.

I’m disabled. I lack consistent support. So I’ve had to build systems that preempt collapse because no one’s coming to catch me when I hit the edge.

I developed this rhythm after years of burnout, shutdowns, and carrying more than I ever should have loving others in their languages while abandoning my own.

This is a trauma-informed, neurodivergent structure I use to protect my future self. To stay emotionally intact. To reduce overwhelm before it becomes crisis.

Recognizing Real Care: What Practicing Self-Compassion Taught Me

Whether you’re partnered, poly, or single by choice you are or can be the curator of your love language (non commercialized). And you practice it on yourself first.

My philosophy:

I care and show grace for myself across past, present, and future so I can recognize what real care feels like when it shows up—whether in friendship, business, or romance. I also know when it doesn’t, and when it needs gentle redirection.

What’s one small thing your past self could do for your future self this week?

Think sensory. Think soothing. Think realistic.

Try it once, and let yourself feel what it’s like to be cared for by you. How does your love feel to you?

That’s it for this round of Love(tte) or Leave It: Life Hacks: where you can love it and use it, tweak it to fit your life, or leave it for someone else who might need it.

Short. Sensory-safe. Neurodivergent-approved.

See you next time, when past you might just surprise you.

Want more writing on autism, burnout, and neurodivergent survival?

If this resonated, you might also appreciate these essays and podcasts on being Neurodivergent.

To book me for keynotes, panels, or consulting:

If you're an organization, institution, or collective committed to real change not checkbox diversity you can contact me directly: [https://lovettejallow.com/] | [[email protected]]

I speak internationally on subjects including but not limited to African matriarchal systems, Fulani governance, neurodivergence in pre-colonial societies, anti-racism, intersectionality, and structural violence.

My talks draw from lived experience, academic research, and cultural fluency across seven languages. I do not dilute or perform knowledge for spectacle. I teach from lineage, not theory.

Who is Lovette Jallow?

Lovette Jallow is one of Scandinavia’s most influential voices on systemic racism, intersectional justice, and human rights. A nine-time award-winning author, keynote speaker, lecturer, and humanitarian, she specializes in neurodiversity, workplace inclusion, and structural policy reform.

Lovette brings an unmatched perspective rooted in both lived experience and professional expertise. Her work bridges the gap between theory, research, and action, helping organizations move beyond performative diversity efforts toward sustainable, structural change.

Her expertise has been sought by global publications like The New York Times, on high-profile legal cases, and by international humanitarian organizations, where she has provided critical insights on racial justice, policy reform, and equity-driven leadership.

Follow Lovette Jallow – DEIB Strategist, Keynote Speaker & Humanitarian:

Website: lovettejallow.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lovettejallow

Instagram: instagram.com/lovettejallow

Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Get full access to The Lovette Jallow Perspective at lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

ot everyone who calls you ‘sis’ or ‘bro’ actually means it.

Overfamiliarity is often a manipulation tactic—a way for people to fast-track relationships, bypass boundaries, and gain access to your time, resources, or emotional energy without actually earning trust.

For autistic individuals, who take words literally, this false closeness can be particularly disorienting. But this isn’t just a personal issue—it happens in workplaces, friendships, and cultural spaces.

🔹 In this episode, we break down:✔ The psychology behind overfamiliarity and why people use it✔ How workplaces manipulate employees with “we’re family” rhetoric✔ The cultural impact of terms like “auntie” or “queen”✔ Signs that someone is using overfamiliarity to manipulate access✔ How to set strong boundaries and avoid being emotionally drained

💡 Have you ever felt pressured into emotional labor or questioned someone's sudden closeness? You’re not imagining it—this episode will give you the tools to recognize it and protect your space.

🔗 Read the full breakdown on Substack → [Insert Link]

📌 Subscribe for More Insights:▶ YouTube:🎙 Spotify / Apple Podcasts:

🔔 New episodes weekly—stay tuned for more conversations on neurodivergence, boundaries, and emotional intelligence.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

ot everyone who calls you ‘sis’ or ‘bro’ actually means it.

Overfamiliarity is often a manipulation tactic—a way for people to fast-track relationships, bypass boundaries, and gain access to your time, resources, or emotional energy without actually earning trust.

For autistic individuals, who take words literally, this false closeness can be particularly disorienting. But this isn’t just a personal issue—it happens in workplaces, friendships, and cultural spaces.

🔹 In this episode, we break down:✔ The psychology behind overfamiliarity and why people use it✔ How workplaces manipulate employees with “we’re family” rhetoric✔ The cultural impact of terms like “auntie” or “queen”✔ Signs that someone is using overfamiliarity to manipulate access✔ How to set strong boundaries and avoid being emotionally drained

💡 Have you ever felt pressured into emotional labor or questioned someone's sudden closeness? You’re not imagining it—this episode will give you the tools to recognize it and protect your space.

🔗 Read the full breakdown on Substack → [Insert Link]

📌 Subscribe for More Insights:▶ YouTube:🎙 Spotify / Apple Podcasts:

🔔 New episodes weekly—stay tuned for more conversations on neurodivergence, boundaries, and emotional intelligence.

Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

Understanding Autistic Loneliness: When You’re Surrounded But Still Alone

I’m Lovette Jallow, an award-winning author, speaker, and consultant specializing in neurodiversity, intersectionality, and human rights. As a Black Autistic woman with ADHD (AuDHD), I know what it’s like to exist in spaces that don’t offer the same curiosity, care, or reciprocity that I extend to others.

Autistic loneliness isn’t about being physically alone—it’s about being surrounded by people who don’t really see you. If you’ve ever felt drained by one-sided relationships, exhausted by the constant expectation of emotional labor, or struggled with finding spaces that genuinely value you, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

🔹 What autistic loneliness really feels like—and why it’s different from solitude.🔹 Why social exhaustion is so common for neurodivergent people.🔹 The impact of one-sided conversations and relationships.🔹 Unspoken societal expectations of emotional labor—and how they affect us.🔹 How to set boundaries and prioritize reciprocity in your relationships.🔹 Rethinking community care and creating spaces where neurodivergent people are valued, not just tolerated.

This conversation isn’t about fixing ourselves to fit into a world that was never built for us—it’s about recognizing what we need and making room for it.

🎙 Listen now to explore why autistic loneliness happens, how it affects neurodivergent people, and what true connection really looks like.

🔗 Links & Resources:

✅ Follow me on Instagram and Twitter for more insights on neurodiversity and intersectionality.✅ Read more on LovetteJallow.com.✅ If you enjoyed this episode, consider subscribing and sharing to help reach more listeners.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe

Understanding Autistic Loneliness: When You’re Surrounded But Still Alone

I’m Lovette Jallow, an award-winning author, speaker, and consultant specializing in neurodiversity, intersectionality, and human rights. As a Black Autistic woman with ADHD (AuDHD), I know what it’s like to exist in spaces that don’t offer the same curiosity, care, or reciprocity that I extend to others.

Autistic loneliness isn’t about being physically alone—it’s about being surrounded by people who don’t really see you. If you’ve ever felt drained by one-sided relationships, exhausted by the constant expectation of emotional labor, or struggled with finding spaces that genuinely value you, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

🔹 What autistic loneliness really feels like—and why it’s different from solitude.🔹 Why social exhaustion is so common for neurodivergent people.🔹 The impact of one-sided conversations and relationships.🔹 Unspoken societal expectations of emotional labor—and how they affect us.🔹 How to set boundaries and prioritize reciprocity in your relationships.🔹 Rethinking community care and creating spaces where neurodivergent people are valued, not just tolerated.

This conversation isn’t about fixing ourselves to fit into a world that was never built for us—it’s about recognizing what we need and making room for it.

🎙 Listen now to explore why autistic loneliness happens, how it affects neurodivergent people, and what true connection really looks like.

🔗 Links & Resources:

✅ Follow me on Instagram and Twitter for more insights on neurodiversity and intersectionality.✅ Read more on LovetteJallow.com.✅ If you enjoyed this episode, consider subscribing and sharing to help reach more listeners.

Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lovettejallow.substack.com/subscribe