Br. Jack Crowley

Mark 12:28-34

A friend of mine got married right around the same time I joined the monastery. Over the years we’ve chatted about the ups and downs of vowed life. Although he is married and I am celibate, we still have a lot in common. We are both in love, we both live with other people in close quarters, and we both have our own shortcomings that make the vowed life rocky at times. I asked him once if he had just one piece of advice to give to someone in the vowed life, what would he say? He looked me in the eye and said the key to a successful marriage is knowing that not every day will be a home run.

I often think about that quote when I hear our Gospel passage from today, especially when Jesus tells us to love God with all our hearts. Yes, I do follow Jesus’ commandment here, but I’m not gushing, head over heels in love with God every day. Not every day is a home run, some days are just quiet days at the ballpark, and I’ve grown to love that.

On the days that Jesus’ commandment to love God with all my heart is just too much for me to bear, I ask myself can I at least be attracted to God? Can I at least be curious about God? Can at least lean towards God?

When we are worn out, tired, stressed, and busy, loving God with all our heart can feel like just another thing on the to do the list. We may even feel shame as if we haven’t kept up our end of the bargain with God. We may feel distraught that we haven’t fully shown up for God in the way we wanted to.

The good news is that God loves us unconditionally, which means no matter what condition we show up in, God’s love is there and fully available to us. God’s love is available to us in sickness and in health, good days, and bad days, and even after our inevitable quarrels.

Some days when I’m not head over heels in love with God, I just spend time with God. I say God, here I am, stay with me buddy.

Sometimes just being with God is loving God, in the same way that spending time with someone you love is a form of love. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, God knows when we are trying our best. After all, isn’t that all you can ask of someone you love?

Jesus knew the importance of love. Jesus knew the power of love. Jesus knew that love, no matter what the circumstance, propels us towards God. Love is a force beyond our understanding, yet in the best of our moments, we always seem to be on the verge of understanding it all.

Finally, remember that the pursuit of love is a lifelong adventure. It’s a cat-and-mouse game in a house with many rooms. Keep searching, keep trying, keep praying, and keep loving. Amen.