Loving Later Life

Today my guest is Allie Hill. Allie has been featured on national television, she is a Certified Life Coach and speaker, and used her 15+ years' experience as a journalist to author the book, The Girlfriend's Guide to Empty Nesting.

At first when Allie first reached out to me, I thought that maybe the subject of navigating the changes in life when becoming an empty nester may not be applicable to you all. And I'm here to tell you that I was wrong!

I recently had a month filled with lots of people from my life coming to celebrate my mom and her artistic partner's accomplishment of having their musical produced. There was so much love, support, and so many delicious hugs and conversations. And then it ended, and my 'nest' felt empty.

We all deal with so many changes in life. The emotions we feel and the skills needed to go through such changes are all very similar.

So without further adieu, let's get into it!

The past month has been one of a lot of feelings and experiences from one end of the spectrum to the other, some anticipated some not.

From the saddest moments to the most exciting. From feeling disconnected, irrelevant and sad to the point of my face breaking out (which nevvver happens) to feeling embraced by the most loving hugs; both literally and metaphorically.

It seems like it's the big moments in life that attract most of our attention and anticipation. They are the times that embed themselves as memories in our mental film library.

There's no question that our huge accomplishments are huge and important. AND, so are the moments in between that fill our hearts and life experience.

This got me thinking more about moments in between (the good ones of course)…an exercise I highly recommend doing.

Remembering past good in between moments also reminds you that you had them, even when perhaps there were other not such good things happening at the same time. And that can be true again.

Many of us are afraid that in later life there are to be fewer of these moments. And I say, if you believe that to be true, it will be. What do you choose to believe?

I hope you'll join me to also hear which moments in between of mine came to mind.

Today I have a very special guest, Terrah Bennett Smith who I heard on another podcast and knew immediately I had to try to have her on Loving Later Life. She is so dynamic, and wise and captivating…and I can't wait for you to hear our conversation. We bonded immediately and had so much fun. Her desires and her drive overrode her circumstances and her fears, and after listening you will be energized and motivated!

Terrah, a Native New Yorker, has enjoyed a rich and multifaceted career in the entertainment industry, as an award-winning director and actress, as well as a producer, writer, and executive. A few of her behind-thecamera credits include: her directorial debut with the feature film FLIP THE SCRIPT, and has gone on to direct the feature film, THE NEXT GIRL, the pilot SLEEPING WITH STRANGERS, and is currently producing a new series, CANDY RAIN, and the feature film; BROKEN. She is also Executive Producer/Co-Writer and Star of, THE WRIGHT TURN, an 8-episode TV series.

In front of the camera, a few of her TV Recurring/ Guest Star credits include STUCK WITH YOU, DEAR WHITE PEOPLE, BOSCH, GAMES PEOPLE PLAY, 9-1-1 and more. Terrah has also performed on Broadway and was a Billboard top 40's recording artist on RCA records. Terrah served as Executive Director for the C&C TEEN HOLLYWOOD FILM FESTIVAL, worked with HOLLYWOOD BLACK FILM FESTIVAL in their media department, and is currently CCO for INYANI CORP, a global media production company and CEO/Founder of Reclaim Haven a wellness platform for women.

Join us!

Hello and welcome back to the 68th episode of Loving Later Life, and I have to say that you are in for such a very special treat. You're about to hear a story proving the fact that it is never, ever too late to see your dreams come true.

This is a story of two incredible women in their 80's…one of whom is my mother. It is a story of friendship, of courage, tenacity, resilience, love, and passion. It is a story that comes full circle spotlighting relationships, perseverance, and timing.

I am so excited to say that due to a change in their schedule while my mom was in town for a presentation they were doing about Sarah at Dominican University, I was able to grab them for 30 minutes for an impromptu recording at a small park sitting at a picnic table.

You all met my mom Elaine Lang Ockner in episode 35 of LLL and if you haven't listened to it yet, you must check it out after you listen to this episode.

She is is a pianist/composer, and Musical Director. She has composed the music for many musical stage productions and created original music for Bravo's TV documentaries on the lives of Sarah Brightman, Jackie Chan and Nathan Lane. She was also pianist and Musical Director for Princess Cruises, Royal Viking, and Sitmar Cruise Lines.

My mom met June Richards in 1979. June is a professional actress, theatre director and emeritus professor. June created theatre programs for Dominican University, Contra Costa College, and served as Chair of Visual and Performing Arts at San Diego City College, and has directed more than 100 productions.

Since they met, they've been dear friends and artistic partners. Over the years their collaboration created many theatrical projects and wacky adventures behind the scenes.

As single mothers they persisted even as they experienced heartache and sadness with relationships and loss of loved ones; choosing not to be taken down but instead to focus on their creative passion.

One constant thread in the quilt of their creations was a musical they wrote in the 1980's of the story of Sarah Bernhardt, the renowned French actress who also defied the odds and never gave up.

Fast forward 40+ years later to right now, their musical "The Divine Sarah" has been selected out of over 40 submissions of new works by the Ross Valley Players in Marin County, California to be produced this month, March 2024.

Ironically, 100 years after Sarah's death, Paris recently had a Sarah Bernhardt exhibition. Vogue magazine had a spread, and Barbra Streisand is a super fan, talking about Sarah in her new book. (And if you're listening Ms. Barbra, there is a ticket waiting for you at the theatre!)

Loving Later Life listeners, if you want to be moved and inspired, you must listen to these women tell their story. Annnd, be sure to listen all the way through because I got special permission to share with you a one-minute sneak preview of one of the songs played by my mom, the composer, Elaine Lang Ockner.

So now, picture if you will, I'm sitting at a picnic table with these two beautiful and talented women in the warm sun, birds chirping, (the occasional car driving by), and my phone resting on the table to record their incredible story….

In this episode you will hear how my son's mindset, humor and radical acceptance got him through not one but two potential life threatening events. I actually considered dropping the idea entirely of staying on schedule for this episode simply because I wasn't able to have one prepared as my focus has not been on loving later life…literally.

However, I think that on some level I knew I would feel the need to debrief after this experience…even if it meant it wasn't as perfect as I could make it. I think I also knew on some level that there would be some important take-away's that I would want to share with you since we all at some point or another go through difficult times.

I deeply believe that sharing our stories and vulnerabilities opens the door for others to do the same. Please join me.

In this episode I share some of my very own, very personal thoughts I wrote on the day of my birthday at the end of January.

Why did I decide to share them? Because I believe that much of what we feel is shared by so many and that we can feel more connected and supported by sharing. And maybe even glean things from each other.

So, I'm going first. I hope you'll listen and share so that more of us in later life can connect and learn and grow together!

I am so excited for you to hear this episode, which is a full circle moment for me. Alison Armstrong is my guest. I took Alison's series of workshops in 2006 for several years, and she changed how I looked at men and at relationships. Little did I know that one day I would have the honor of having her as my guest on my podcast almost 20 years later!

Alison is a true expert in human behavior. In 1991 she began to study men to find out how she was bringing out the worst in them. Her success in understanding men led her to studying women's behavior and making vital connections between the two.

Bottom line dear Loving Later Life listeners: she will shock and surprise you with what she says about dating, sex, her own experience of losing her incredible husband in 2019, her current relationship, and how both men and women behave in ways that contradict and undermine our own purposes, goals, values, needs and relationships.

How good are you willing to let life get?

The idea for this episode came in a moment when I felt a weird combination of that feeling of the first day of school after summer vacay and beginning a new year. A new year that has challenges which are carrying over from the previous year….both on a personal and global level.

I turned, as I often do, to music. This time specifically to a song that began going through my head, as one often does, to show me what is going on in my subconscious.

As the train of thoughts ran on full speed, I had an epiphany.

Please come with me as I share what it is, how it led to this episode and an idea for an alternative to a new year's resolution.

Karen Cheong is an international transformational speaker, writer, champion for self-empowerment and healer who has worked with thousands of people worldwide. She is sharing with us how frequency work can change our lives.

After a health crisis in her early 20's catalyzed her spiritual journey, she was driven by curiosity to explore the mystical and energetic systems that govern our experience—of ourselves, of others, and of life itself.

Karen felt like something was missing—and that is when what she refers to as "frequency work" discovered her. By intensively releasing unconscious blocks she calls distortion patterns, she transformed not only the way her life looked, but the way her life felt. Momentum really started kicking in, and life became so much richer, so much fuller, and so much more expansive.

Today, Karen guides others, helping them to start to experience the true richness of life, embrace their power as the intentional co-creator of their reality, and develop a deep connection to the Divine within. By providing step by step tools to self-realization, and releasing their distortion patterns at frequency level, her clients are able to rewrite their "spiritual blueprint," truly living in the abundance of the present moment.

This will open your mind, do not miss this conversation!

Is there a secret to finding love after 60?

Join me in this final wrap-up of the Golden, well perhaps slightly tarnished Golden Bachelor, plus another kind of rap I created that tells the story of my most recent bachelor adventure.

Lastly, a comment or two on a big feature in the Wall Street Journal entitled "The Secret to Finding Love After 60," which led me to discover and create what possibly could be actual secrets. Hint: They're hidden in the downsides.

Please join me on this journey as we take another crack at understanding that intangible thing we call love, in later life.