LUMP

With cycling still very much out of the picture, Pen goes in search of a new physical pursuit to help her combat the consequences of surgery...

"The wild swimming planted itself in my life quite by surprise.  One evening sitting by the loch the desire the wade in was overwhelming.  I could feel my body leaning into the idea of icy water soothing the angry tangled muscles on my back and breast.   Having taken root the idea became a clean and simple need.  I needed to swim in the loch..."

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

As Pen continues to inch forward through her recovery she realises that 'strength' isn't necessary a useful characteristic when it comes to listening to your body...

"A perpetual mantra that has accompanied me this past few weeks has been everyone telling me how strong I am.  That seems to be how people see me, strong, and people define strength as the ability to push yourself..."

and when Pen pushes herself too far the consequences feel catastrophic.

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

"I’m becoming increasingly aware of my tendency to weep.  I try to pin down what the problem is.  We live in the most extraordinary place, surrounded by a landscape which fills me up in every way.  This is our dream.  We live in paradise and I’m surrounded by people I love who love me back.  What’s wrong with me?"

Pen starts to try and figure out while she's still feeling so fragile and overwhelmed with life. Surely she should be feeling better by now?

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

"I had intended to stop writing once I left hospital, figured this story had reached its natural and neat end, but increasingly I’ve realised each day throws up new struggled and frustrations and maybe I need to write in order to file all these mismatched and complicated feelings away somewhere.  So here I am again, filing..."

Pen starts to come to terms with the massive changes cancer surgery has imposed on her life and her body and it hurts, both mentally and physically. How does she come to terms with what's happened, what will life look like from here on?

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

"2 week’s after my surgery and we’re due to move house on Friday.  We have nothing packed and the removal firm have just called to cancel on us because last night Scotland went into lockdown and Covid-19 has moved from background noise to centre stage...I keep having moments when I drift off only to suddenly snap-to and the memory of my diagnosis and everything which has subsequently happened comes flooding back into my consciousness and I’m breathless with the shock of it all. Each time it feels like waking up to realise the nightmare is real.  I still don’t recognise myself in the role of cancer victim but now I have to add Covid dodger and mover-under-lockdown to that unfathomable mantle..."

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

So the surgery is over and the cancer is gone, it's all plain sailing now, right? Wrong! Pen picks her way through the post-surgery pain and trauma only to discover that while she's been in hospital the world has dramatically changed...

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

In this Lump Extra Pen talks to Dr Liz O'Riordan and its all a bit poacher turned gamekeeper because Liz was a breast surgeon.  Then in 2015, at the age of 40, she was diagnosed with breast cancer herself and, a bit further down the line, was forced to retire because of it.  Since then she has made it her mission to write and talk about her experiences in a bid to help others and to open up the conversation about the really chewy, difficult, dark stuff of life.  To talk about all the really shitty stuff that comes with cancer in a very open way.

So Liz is a woman very much after Pen's own heart which is why the conversation flows between the two of them as they compare notes on fear, loss of control and the positives that cancer brings to their lives.

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

"I walk to the operating theatre.  Is that odd?  In my mind I always think surgery has to involve being delivered on a bed but no, I pop on my fit-flops and walk with Dora, a student nurse, round from the ward to the Vanguard Operating Theatre...We go through star trek style sliding doors and I’m greeted by at least half a dozen people, all in scrubs, through another door I glimpse even more of them together with my surgeon.  So many people, all here for me.  And now I’m actually here, at the point of no return, I feel strangely calm. There’s a momentum here, an inevitability, a process which will be followed and not even my left breast screams it to be halted.  This is what is meant to be..."

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

"Even if no one knows I have cancer from the outside I sense more and more it is eating me up from within, not just the tissue of my left breast but nibbling away at who I am, its consuming the content of my life.  Each day is now shaped by cancer, each conversation curves itself back around the subject, each message on social media is about how I am.  And I feel guilty for giving in to it, for letting it infect every cell of my life."

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.

The brutal reality of what lies ahead is starting to sink in and Pennie's feeling the panic...

"I feel like I’m in a slow motion car crash and I can’t unbuckle my belt to step out.  Everyone I know, all the people I love, with the best of intentions, are bunched together pushing the car at the wall, egging it on and although I’m leaning back, straining in my seat, pumping the break with my foot as hard as I can, nothing will stop the inevitable carnage.  On Tuesday my surgeon will cut away my breast, push, persuade, twist and rearrange what’s left of my body into a shadow if it’s former shape then stitch me tight inside this new shell.  I feel horrified. Undone. Sick."

Searingly honest, heart-breaking, often sweary and laugh out loud funny, LUMP is one woman’s rollercoaster ride through the mind meltdown which comes with learning you have breast cancer. 

Utterly human and compelling, it’s a unique story which will resonate with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a battle with a life changing event in their lives.

Read more here

Written and narrated by Pennie Latin-Stuart

Lump is produced in Scotland by Adventurous Audio and sponsored by The Head Gardener

It was recorded by the legends who are Dave and Johnny at The Music Shed Recording Studios

Special thanks to Incredible Feet for their inspiration and belief in the importance of LUMP and for constantly reminding us that while every cancer journey is unique, we never need to run it alone.

You'll find the written version of this episode here.