We have somehow earned this thing’s respect. You have somehow earned Episode 005, where we’re touching on some healing stones, washing out a bridge, traversing across the battlefield, grunting at the sight of a human, appreciating bitmap cut-scenes, referencing Mega Man 8 (derogatory), rewarding boys with special turds, baiting baboons into ice blocks, possessing green eyes, receiving destiny instructions, questing for the prize of manhood, realizing Dad was Ramus, immediately trying to unload a precious diamond, and molesting a teddy bear. Crunchy is my opposite of woke.

00:00 PS3 Bake | 02:00 Intro | 04:00 World Map | 07:25 White Dragon Cave | 17:43 Quark’s Lair | 29:57 Dragon Ring Quest | 33:02 Quark’s Lair Again | 40:46 Return to Burg | 55:19 Real Net | 59:38 Outro

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