Hello and welcome to the first episode of our eighth season! We're covering Phantasy Star IV: The End of the Millennium for the next 25-to-70 weeks. On this two-parter of an intro episode, we're peeling the skin off the Fake Net, buying children a $212 videogame, charging more money for more megabits, realizing the Mega Drive was online in 1990, de-making to the NES, creating a million ports, overthinking world details, not just plagiarizing Dragon Quest, building love and friendship around the stars, making something no one else was making, loving Star Wars, having snacks with the staff, and wondering if we believe game localization's most powerful ego weirdo. The current millennium ends on December 31st 3000.

00:00:00 Intro 00:02:54 What Is This Podcast 00:03:34 Release Information 00:10:52 Ports 00:19:54 Playing Phantasy Star IV in 2025 00:24:55 Development History / Interviews 01:06:42 Real Net 01:13:56 Outro

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The game is over but the game is not over. One our final episode for season seven, we're smelling the ocean on the breeze, losing all MP, putting faith in our strength, spending our brains out, affirming Ghaleon's insanity, declaring Jessica Day, requesting an adult, creating an open door policy, realizing Luna has no idea what the hell Ghaleon was trying to do, starting Jessica's domestic education, causing weird vibes, engaging in scat play, talking to Kyle too many times, raiding Luna's unmentionables, and realizing Victor made the game (multiple interpretations). Season 8, featuring Phantasy Star IV: The End of the Millennium, starts next week!

00:00:00 Slop Children 00:05:39 Intro 00:09:04 Friends Assembled 00:12:56 Meribia NPCs 00:20:59 Meribia Houses 00:41:26 Black Rose Street NPCs 00:49:07 Goodbye, Nash & Mia 00:59:17 Black Rose Street Houses 01:05:51 Meribia Port NPCs 01:07:37 Mel's Mansion NPCs Part I 01:10:28 Goodbye, Kyle & Jessica 01:23:48 Mel's Mansion NPCs Part II 01:27:46 Phacia!? 01:29:15 Tempest! Fresca! 01:30:49 Epilogue Finale 01:35:57 Wrap It Up 01:42:34 Real Net 01:53:33 Outro

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I am disgraced yet again. Season seven continues with us listening to a death rattle, making sure the Ocarina is in Alex's pocket, assigning jealousy as a motive, dumbing ourselves down for women, desecrating her sanctum, fighting for the ones we love, getting a little action, wishing for stronger hints, realizing girlfriend might be a bomb, confirming girlfriend must stay god, winning with the power of idealism, telling a lady that we're destined to be together, mutating after turning evil, censoring nudity, and receiving permission for Wheaties. Just go home and resign yourself to mankind's fate (another episode).

00:00:00 Please God Let It End 00:01:21 Intro 00:02:37 Magic Emperor: Defeated? 00:07:10 Pre-Stairs Friend Pep Talks 00:16:22 Alex & The Staircase 00:23:47 Staircase Friends 00:31:06 Ascension 00:35:08 Confrontation Anime 00:42:31 The Gang Regroup 00:45:18 CG ANIME CUT SCENE 00:47:56 Sega CD Ending 00:59:14 Real Net 01:04:56 Outro

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Do we care about the fate of the world? Hell no. We're only concerned with exploring the wasteland of the mind, imbibing the sweet nectar of the woman kind, conquering our greatest fears (again), escaping the maze of our wretched inner-selves, living in the body of a goddess, running out of unlimited time, correcting god, beholding the power of salvation, suffering a promo endurance round, perceiving decadence, rebuffing everyone after a one-hit death, getting stuck in the healing loop, and probably defeating the last boss. All you've ever done is dream of your great adventures.

00:00:00 We Finished Vagrant Story 00:01:23 Intro 00:04:20 Ships of Regret and Sleep 00:19:10 Xenobia 00:26:41 Final Battleground 00:38:49 Hero Lines 00:46:30 Last Boss Fight 00:56:18 Real Net 01:05:12 Outro

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Even if you wanted to make this a twist, there's nowhere to twist. Before we twist it off, we're revealing the secret true identity of Laike, speaking of plot elements specifically, giving it a yank, turning into a dragon, realizing the Grindery is a Frontier machine, once again imagining a more socially conscious game, consuming sleep medication, debating the ideal final dungeon, leaving our fate in our hands, wishing Nash would behead a lady, overcoming the struggle of being human, eating Ghaleon's slop, and enduring another dream self-doubt realization sequence. Yes, we will make sure god stays dead.

00:00:00 Spiraling Concept: Foundational Experience 00:03:36 Intro 00:05:30 Laike's Sword 00:15:20 White Dragon 2 00:17:50 Sega CD Check In 00:27:45 Fortress of Althena I 00:28:16 Royce 00:32:17 Royce II 00:35:43 Fortress of Althena II 00:42:12 Fortress of Althena III 00:51:56 Xenobia 00:58:44 Ship of Regret and Sleep 00:59:04 Real Net 01:06:34 Outro

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Nothing can justify what he has done. Nothing except us reacting incorrectly, marrying a child, debating Ghaleon's power, exhibiting egregious Mega Man 4 opinions, decoding sunscreen, obeying out of fear and not respect, rescuing a puppy, giving up the drink, realizing Nash deserves nothing, joining in the madness, favoring self determination, referencing "new types," streaming romantic rhetoric, killing god, trapping everyone in the good vs evil binary, and sacrificing, well, something. Althena gave us free health care and nothing else.

00:00:00 Super Sonic 00:01:40 Intro 00:02:59 Meribia, With Jessica & Mia 00:21:13 Gathering The Boys 00:30:03 Merbia, With Full Party 00:36:46 Black Rose Street, Full Party 00:38:05 Mel's Mansion, Full Party 00:40:22 Field Trip To Burg's Cliff 00:49:25 Transmigration Anime 00:58:48 Laike's Debrief 01:01:02 Real Net 01:03:23 Outro

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Hey kids, weird day, huh? Days like this include human men delivering victory lines, jerking off after the massage, hacking through romance with a machete, losing the cut-scene, ditching the Vader outer wear, failing to keep up with the lore, forming the N.W.O., retiring the Dragon Master gear, sleeping for three days, distinguishing pudding from a smoothie, recognizing Negative Attitude Man, suspecting Eternal Blue is much better, voluntarily contracting rabies, and drinking away our problems. We're all 15.

00:00:00 Delta Rune 00:00:15 No Title 00:02:25 Intro 00:04:19 We…Won? 00:14:10 Anime 00:18:11 We Lost 00:28:15 Broken Blade 00:34:25 Alex In Mel's Mansion 00:36:26 Alex In Meribia 00:44:57 Alex In Black Rose Street 00:55:03 Alex At The Meribia Port 00:55:24 Mia & Jessica Consultation 00:57:31 Real Net 01:02:38 Outro

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Has anyone told you that you're gorgeous? It's true, as obvious as when we're rolling a turd, suffering a pincer attack, wishing there were anime in an anime moment, yanking off nipples, adapting dragon technology, vowing to stop a cretin, stumbling into a fairy garden, chafing at a wicked manner, laying off the goblin workforce, shopping at Home Depot, peeling back Chris' Secret Garden meta layer, searching for the new Golgotha, accepting Phacia's sacrifice, and engaging in what is surely going to be the final battle. I think his lust for power has enslaved his soul

00:00:00 Salamander 00:02:35 Intro 00:04:32 Outside the Grindery 00:13:07 Grindery Part I 00:19:05 Grindery Part II 00:22:51 My Secret Garden 00:37:00 Grindery Part III 00:41:47 Phacia 00:48:44 Inner Sanctum 00:53:10 Real Net 00:57:08 Outro

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What kind of hero are you if you can't protect my balloons? Apparently the kind that likes suppressing emotion, drunken-smacking monsters, witnessing a death plunge, wondering where home is, making wings out of fluffy bugs, committing a modern hate crime, spiraling through Paxton/Pullman delirium, losing the power to firm and tone, moving into an empty house, corrupting another save file, using magic to remove clothing, droppin' dingles in drawers, distributing more gross reptile facts, and spitting bars. You have to admire a pervert with such determination.

00:00:00 Till All Are One 00:02:28 Intro 00:04:46 Oh god, Saith 00:05:06 Oh god, Old Hag 00:05:18 Oh god, Meribia 00:21:11 Oh god, Spring of Transmission 00:22:31 Oh god, Althena's Shrine 00:23:29 Oh god, Nanza 00:25:46 Bill Paxton Intermission #1 00:30:39 Oh god, Hot Springs 00:31:16 Oh god, Damon's Spire 00:32:26 Oh god, Lann 00:34:35 Oh god, Reza 00:36:31 Oh god, Iluk 00:39:08 Oh god, Meryod 00:42:14 Oh god, Lyton 00:44:00 Oh god, Tamur 00:46:42 Bill Paxton Intermission #2 00:47:28 Oh god, Pao 00:48:31 Oh god, Myght's Tower 00:50:03 Real Net 00:50:45 Outro

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This is not the time to get freaky. Ears can't even do that, but they can hear us resting in a slumber of our design, witnessing a world history event, birthing the Grindery, thinking of the Death Star workers, combining steam with magic, yearning for the True Power of Vane, using a super move reluctantly, testing the limits of forgiveness, working hands to the nape of her neck, making an important decision, suspecting there was going to be a boss fight, wishing for a secret satan, letting the anime breathe, calling it a tie, and wondering if the Grindery is sea worthy. We're all dead.

00:00:00 Good Job Good Job 00:01:37 Intro 00:03:17 Confronting Ghaleon 00:10:19 Leaving The Frontier 00:19:49 Panic in Vane 00:23:05 Pausing The Panic (Magic Guild NPCs) 00:29:29 Solo Alex NPCs 00:32:26 Alex & Nash NPCs 00:35:05 Full Party NPCs 00:36:15 Silver Spire 00:42:30 Vane vs Grindery 00:46:03 Vane vs Grindery on Sega CD 00:46:52 Post Battle 00:49:19 Oh god, Burg 00:53:20 Real Net 00:55:30 Outro

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