Self Sabotage
Taking control of your thoughts, actions, and consequences.
Realizing the way external factors affect your thoughts, actions, and consequences.
Taking control of the power of your thoughts.
Self Sabotage is not an act. It is a complex process that pits people against their own thoughts and impulses.
Understand that this behavior is you trying to protect yourself from what you deem as a threat. But the threat is a product of false beliefs.
You may flee relationships because you hold the false belief that says “I can’t handle emotional pain.”
I see people subconsciously identifying with suffering/excuses/blaming others
Self SabotageSense of Health: will not use drops correctlyIdentify with their suffering
DO not want relief
Goes back to bad relationships Your other half, comfortable with them. Making your life hell.
People are attached to the idea of that person and not the person itself
Would be better off co-parenting
Allowing someone else to have power over the outcomes of your life, financial situation & relationships
Refusing to believe in themselvesI am going to fail, I suck
I am not good enough, smart enough
If you keep saying you suck, sucky situations will enter your life.
Making excuses, blaming othersCar accident. How will you act?
Complain for 2 months. Affect numerous people with negativity.
The guy who t-boned you didn’t make you mad, you allowed yourself to be mad
YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOU ATTRACT WHAT IS BROUGHT INTO YOUR LIFE
Everyone is broke. Why?College + Job: Making $60,000 within 5 years.
Are you going to settle for that permanence? Are you going to accept 24,000 a year for 5 years?
Are you going to work to change your situation and find other means of income?
If you are tired of it you need to do something to change it.
ProcrastinationProcrastination is the gap between intention and action.
We get lost in deliberation, making excuses to justify an unnecessary and potentially harmful delay.
Tomorrow is a constantly moving target.
Instead of thinking ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ start thinking, I will start in 15 minutes. Or I will start at 1pm. Your blank slate doesn’t have to be a brand new day.
People pleasing
Comfort eating
Turning your dreams into reality requires solid planning and lots of work and effort. To start the process, however, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to actually do it.
You can build a happier and sturdier lifestyle on four mutually supporting pillars of psychological strength: resilience, competence, confidence, and tolerance.
Resilience‘The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.’
Dictionary definitions include concepts like flexibility suppleness, durability, strength, speed of recovery and buoyancyTreat problems like a learning process: Look at challenges as opportunities
Avoid making drama out of crisis. Stress & change are part of life.
Lifelong learning and adapting vs. permanenceJust because you went to school to get a job doesn’t mean that is your forever job.
Found something we love more.
Shut down our LLC.
That’s your dream!!! Are you crazy?! A job has nothing to do with my dreams.
I will never be stuck.
Move into the realm of lifelong learning and adaptation.
Give up dwelling on ‘if only’Focusing on things you cannot control.
These thoughts do not lead to action.
You cannot undo your past, but you can influence your future.
An ‘if only’ statement about your 20s can ruin your 30s and leave you in idle.
Coping statements are assertive, persuasive, positive expressions of rational beliefs: ’I don’t like this situation. Now let me see what I can do to address it.’
Stop being afraid of your thoughts and burying your feelings: THEY ARE POWERFULWhen you suppress a thought, you have no chance to process it. To understand it, feel it and decide that it doesn’t make sense.
Being afraid of what your brain has to say gives your thoughts too much importance.
This is a hallmark of obsessional thinking.
Acknowledge your thoughts and face them. Emphasize that they are only thoughts.
Use thoughts for what you want.
Competence
‘the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.’You have the ability to do something well. You are capable of performing a task or job effectively.My dad always said, “You don’t love the sport, you love being good at something.”
When I look at this pillar I think it boils down to: Know what you want and become an expert in that area.If you’re a seller, then your ability to establish trust with customers affects the sales you make. Being able to establish credibility is a part of your competence in that job.
Confidence‘the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.’ This includes yourself and your ability to succeed.
Confidence is built on choices and accomplishments that feed your passion and make you feel happy and proud of who you are. Get things done.
Confidence is built on accomplishment
Focus on daily, weekly, monthly, yearly goalsDo it (analysis paralysis)Doesn’t get you anywhere and it doesn’t help anyone else.
Do the right thingMake decisions based on your value system.
Your actions and decisions define your character.
What would the best version of myself do?
This will make you prouder of who you are.
Don’t care about what others thinkPeople will say that you can not accomplish your goal.
Rejection from employers, schools, negative feedback from friends or family
People will try to tell you your goal is too big, you're not ready, you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc., and you absolutely can not listen to them.
While they tell you the odds are against you, etc., just remember most people are wrong about most things.
People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them it can't be done.
Be optimisticAbsorb and Deflect (Bubble up)(step away from the news)No negativity in your bubble. Exude positivity.
Gun control posts.
Not helping anything change, policies aren’t being reformed.
Be openTalk about itGratitude
Goals
Growth
Relationship with moneyDefine your relationship with money
Invite it into your life
Tolerance‘the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular, the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.’
A sense of perspective.
‘I once had the blues because I had no shoes, until I met a man upon the street who had no feet.’
Empathize.
Value differenopen-minded minded. Expose yourself to views and cultures.
Be compassionate toward yourself:Drawing the line and saying no, putting yourself and your goals firstWorking on this one.