Lunch With The Garzas

Reasons why you’re still broke

 

We all want to make a lot of moneyOurselves

Family

Financial freedom

Time freedom

Take more vacations

Invest in other business ventures to make us more money or to follow a passion

 

Everyone has this common goal that everyone seems to struggle to get to anywhere near where they want to be which ends up building doubt inside of you

 

You give up too easilyThe first half of a year, a year of starting a business, website, career or whatever you want to do is a test

You’ll be tested on your commitment to whatever it is you’re doing

During this time youre sure to experience struggles and failures, don’t worry this is all part of the test that you’re in this for the long run and that you deserve the things you want, this is the time where you prove yourself

 

You’re lacking motivationFar too many people sit around saying “I wish I was rich” “it’d be nice we we had a pay raise”

People expect this lifestyle to magically fall into their lap

Not going to wake up one day and see that someone put 100k into your bank account

Wealthy people don’t just sit and WISH for things and hope they’ll come into money

They spend less time wishing and more time doing

If you want some you need to put your heart and soul into it

The universe respects this and delivers

 

You’re in love with your TVTheres a quote“Why haven’t you ever seen a Lamborghini commercial before? Because the people who can afford them aren’t sitting around watching TV”

If you’re sitting around watching tv most of the day or night then you’re basically watching whats going on in other peoples lives instead of going out and creating your own

 

Sleep is your best friendIf you’re struggling financially but still get 8 hours of sleep a night then you’re wasting valuable time

4 hours is what the body needs to function, you can sleep more once you’ve earned it

If you’re not getting up early enough in the mornings you could be missing opportunities to make money or improve yourself

Set your alarm an hour earlier and place it near your door

When you wake up just walk out to your kitchen, make a cup of coffee and now you have an extra hour of working on yourself

Broke people turn off the alarm and get back into bed

 

You’ve adopted bad habitsAll the smoking, drinking, watching tv, browsing facebook and other crap you’ve been doing, isn’t going to have an amazing effect on your life

Growing as a person requires disciplineReading

Exercising

Studying self awareness

Picking up spirituality

 

You hang out with the wrong crowdYou become just like the 5 people you spend the most time with

Network is your networth

Make sure the people in your circle has dreams, goals and aspirations

Great for your mental state as well

 

All talk no actionHow many of you have been through this processGet this amazing idea

Instead if working on it

You start adding more thoughts to the idea that you already have

Keep adding and adding, end eventually nothing ever happens lol

People do this for the duration of their whole life and by time they take action, someone has already beat them to the punch, then they say, they stole my idea, no they made their idea happen

The wealthy don’t start out with a perfect idea, they start with a rough draft and make it perfect through the hard work they put in

 

You have no planIts not essential to become wealthy but if you’ve been broke up until now, it may be time to start creating oneWhere do you want to be next year

Where do you want to be in 5 years

Do you still want to be where you are

Or do you want to have the career of your dreams making the money you deserve

Figure out what your angle is, then hash it out in a notebook and start a gameplan

 

Keeping up with the joneses Social media is terrible with this

Constantly being able to see what everyone else has can cause so many financial problems

Everyone is at a different stage of their lifeJoneses could have been saving and hustling for 4 years and finally started splurging on themselves

You have no savings, no multiple streams of income but you still try to keep up

 

Never took the time to learn personal financePeople know how to spend but don’t know how to budget

You don’t age your money

You don’t keep track of your spending habits

You don’t have an emergency fund

Use mint or YNAB

 

You don’t have a side hustleAvg millionaire has 6-7 streams of income

living with just one is not going to help you get ahead unless it is extremely lucrative but anything can happen

Peaks and valleys

You don’t give your side hustle enough time to mature and grow into something worthy

 

You have expensive social habitsYou like going out every weekend with your friends and spending anywhere from 20%-40% of your fresh earningsClothing

Liquor

Uber

Bars

Food

Club

Stay in the house my friend

 

Lifestyle CreepStart earning more start spending more

Spending habits become larger and larger

Past luxuries become present necessities

The Garza approach to network marketing

 

Be a resource over a salesman

Patience, Patience, Patience

Consistency just like anything else

Don’t spam

Don’t cold message sell

Don’t cold call

Don’t act aggressive

Don’t act out of desperation (word vomit)

Don’t chase family and friends

Build genuine relationships

 

Picking a company

Hot products/Industry

Consumable/customers

Support system/community

Extensive trainings

Mentorship

Duplicatable system

Comp Plan

 

Sign up

Select a GREAT upline

Learn the business as you go

Start thinking in terms of volume vs. dollars

START NOW. Begin sharing everyday. No analysis paralysis. Be comfortable with your decision.

Decide your financial goals: this will help you understand if you should begin promoting the products or the products & opportunity

Become a resource: learn as much as possible about your product

 

Branding

Figure out your demographicAge

Income Average

Gender

How do they receive infoOnline or traditional

 

TraditionalBusiness Cards

Events

Belly to belly networking

Festivals

 

Online (Pick your current strongest platform)Facebook

Instagram

Youtube

 

Facebook (Virtual Business Card) Go liveQuality photosProfile pic

Cover Photo

Photos overall

About SectionPassions

Friends3000 to 5000 quality friends

Groups

Influencers PageRelatable postsAdd people who comment things you like

Message but don’t sell, just connect

People you randomly meet, connect on FB

This is your garden, because it takes time to grow and benefit

Most likely will watch for 3 months before joining

 

PostsQuality counts

Stories

Paycheck

Lifestyle

Family

Passions

Interests

Build and audience and give them value

Find out what their problems and pain points are, then create content that helps solves them

Become a resource

If they see you as someone who can get them to where they want to go, they’re most likely to join

 

Follow the leader if your upline has a great system OR Create an environment for your team

Private groupBe available

Members only

Extensive trainings

Educational Lives

Team Promos (Incentivize)

Strong interaction

Graphics

Giveaways

Be available

Create an extended family vibe

Weekly Lives (Q&A)

Constantly be coming up with new ways to make your teams life easier

 

Group chatCommunity

Venting

General questions

Friendships

Make it self sufficient (Because of great trainings)

 

Talking with Potentials

DO NOT WORD VOMIT (TAKE IT EASY)

Someone inquires, send them a link to a video or series of videos explaining your company and product then do Q&A with them

This is how you find out who is serious (time management)

If they can’t take the time to watch the video then let them sit on it and eventually they will once they see you hit a rank or get a bonus (It’ll remind them)

Find out their pain points for needing the product or company (Health or financials)

Let them decide on their own, do not be aggressive, this looks desperate

Follow up rule: The double2,4,8,16,32 etc etc

Absence adds value

 

Self-Development/Self-awareness

Podcasts

Youtube

Networking

Tonality

Psychology of marketing

People skills

Leader skills

How other leaders build businesses

5 Skills needed to become a power couple

 

Things to avoid:

 

Criticism:Complaints are fine. Criticism is more global- it attacks the person instead of their behavior.

‘They didn’t take out the garbage because they forgot, but because they’re a bad person’

Contempt: name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor.

It is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust.

It’s virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your partner is getting the message that you are disgusted with them.

Defensiveness: defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner.

You’re saying, in effect ‘the problem isn’t me, it’s you.

Defensiveness escalates the conflict, which is why it’s so deadly.

Stonewalling:tuning out, disengaging.

This doesn’t just remove the person from the conflict, it ends up removing them, emotionally, from the relationship.

 

 

Power couples are focused on..

 

Magnate LifestyleBuilding powerful family dynasties for generations to come

 

They are on the same wavelength when it comes to goals, ambitions and vision

This requires work both individually and together

 

Shared vision and goals

Should share a similar vision

So important because both people can hold each other accountable for the goals necessary to reach that vision

When this doesn’t happen, one side tends to waste time convincing the other side why a new idea or venture is a good idea instead of creating the first steps necessary to get the ball rolling

 

Our goal is to help as many people as we can become successful and inject as much value into the world as possible

 

“The more people you help become successful the more successful you become.” - Steve Harvey

 

Money just represents the amount of value that you bring into this world, the more value you bring, the more the money will follow

 

Effective Communication

Level of honesty with each other that is always aimed at bettering each other

Being aware of each others struggles and weaknesses then brainstorming on how to fix them

Brainstorming instead of venting sessions

Less Gossip more talk about goals

 

Personal development

Being able to grow professionally and intellectually is such an awarding feeling in a relationship

If you both are learning and growing individually, imagine how strong your two minds together will be

Proven fact that personal development builds confidence and a strong mindset, multiply that by two and you have a hell of a power couple

 

Quality time

Being an entrepreneur, its easy to put “quality time” to the side and grind but that can have long term effects

QT is a great way to reset as a couple, work will be there when you get back so take time to catch up and talk with your partner

A power couple is only a power couple because of how strong the commitment is to the relationship, not just their business

Know when to turn the phone off and focus on your sig other

Never stop reminding your person how amazing they areThis is easy to forget when you have kids or get lost in career stuff

Compliments go a long way

Go on dates and reminisce on how far you two have come and where you’re going

Never stop being physicalSex is key everyone, its natural, its human nature

The longer were together and get lost in being parents and entrepreneurs the easier it is to put the intimacy section on the back burner

You need that time where its just pure admiration and appreciation for each other, other wise relationships go stale

 

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships” - Tony Robbins

 

Endless Support and encouragement

Power couples get this and make it a top priority

When your on the grind and you hit those roadblocks, not too many people will be in your corner, except your partner who is there waiting with food and a game plan

Two people in a relationship with a shared goal, vision, and mindset are more powerful than business partners

Find someone who has just as much hustle as you and help build each other

 

Support each others’ pursuits and ambitions fully, even if that means taking turns

 

Help out with the “Household Chores”

Helps with self discipline which is key in success anyway

Appreciation will go a long way for a healthy relationship

Knock them out first thing in the am, chances are sliced in half if you wait until after work

Tim Struggled with this badly last year

 

Start a “family business” together

A couple that works together stays together

Solve problems together

Going through the start up phase together

Builds a stronger bond

Gets the kids involved and focused early

Make sure theres a strong foundation, a family business can also cause divorce so this is not something taken lightly

 

Make your combined network unstoppable

Between both of your phone books, your network basically covers everyone in your industry as well as friends in some high places

You’ve rubbed shoulders with some impressive people that will help you where you need to go

You both make an effort to keep expanding your phone resources by building your network

Reasons we fail

 

Success always starts with failure.

Some of the most successful people that ever lived experienced monumental failure (Many were even deemed failures in life)

So how did they come back from being considered massive failures?

They discovered the reasons for their failures

Learned important lessons from it

Changed how they think about failure.

 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

 

While we all realize that this quote is true, we don’t act like it.

We allow failure to discourage us.

The more we fail, the more discouraged we become

We hit a point in life where we begin to tell ourselves: “I failed at life, therefore I am a failure in life.”

The more we repeat it, the more we believe it.

Once you believe this, the world around you will reflect this belief.

 

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison

 

When confronted with failure:

We only see the negative aspects that come with it.

We are unable to see the benefits.

 

Failure provides the opportunity to grow stronger.

It offers the chance to return stronger, wiser and smarter than we were before.

You must actively make use of the opportunity to grow from failure OR failure will destroy you.

 

 

In almost all cases, success is not the result of getting things right on the first try.

Success comes from gradually discovering how it’s not done.

Success is the result of the mental strength to keep fixing what we are doing wrong until we get it right.

 

Failure teaches us 2 lessons:

We’re doing something completely wrong

You can overcome failure, and you must get back up and continue the pursuit of your dreams.

 

 

Reasons People Fail in Life:

 

Lack of Self- Discipline

Exerting self control over yourself is a central requirement for being successful.

If you lack self discipline, you are more likely to give up too quickly when problems arise.

Being un-disciplined makes you more likely to give in to short-term temptations that lead you nowhere.

You see no reason in making sacrifices today in order to prosper tomorrow

 

Being disciplined makes avoiding temptations and distractions much easier.

Self-control helps you focus on the aims that you pursue, even if that means temporal sacrifice, suffering and abstaining from temptations.

You will begin to see these temptations and distractions as what they truly are: obstacles on the road to success.

 

How to overcome a lack of self-discipline:

 

Laziness and lack of inner-strength are two major factors that prevent people from developing self discipline

 

You can develop more self-discipline by:

Increasing stress tolerance levels

Meditating

Removing distractions

Breaking bad habits

Postponing unbeneficial behaviors

Making plans and rewarding yourself for accomplishing your goals.

Tolerating a higher level of emotional discomfort

Exercising regularly

 

 

Lack of Persistence

 

You can be talented and intelligent, but if you don’t combine these two with persistence, you’ll fail eventually.

There are people who fail time and time again because they rely too much on their talents.

They are not willing to persist until they’ve completely mastered what they’re doing.

 

 

If you think that lack of persistence is causing your failures:

Find ways to stop giving up so quickly

If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up - Shia Lebouf

Persistence is all about finding new approaches / making adjustments.

Persist when confronted with difficulties & problems

Continue fighting for the accomplishment of your dreams, even if it’s uncomfortable.

 

 

Unwillingness to swim against the current

 

Swimming with the flow will lead you where everyone else goes.

You will gain the same results everyone else accomplishes.

Society is designed to make you swim with the current, even if you aren’t good at it.

Society puts a great number of obstacles in the path of those who seek to strive for their own greatness by going against the current.

People feel threatened by those who challenge prevailing opinions.

 

At the same time, society greatly rewards many of those who successfully managed to go against the stream.

Without these individuals there would be no airplanes, electricity or computers.

 

Have the courage to meet decisions that go against existing opinions.

Swim against the current.

Pursue activities that align with your innate strengths and talents.

 

 

Lack of planning

 

If you don’t have a proper plan you are less likely to succeed in life.

It doesn’t matter if the plan is imperfect, or if things don’t work out as planned.

All that matters is that you have a plan.

It will help you steer all of your actions in one direction

 

Develop attainable, measurable, specific and time bound plans.

Carefully think things through before you start pursuing a specific goal.

Create plans on what to do next and how to respond when confronted with problems.

Update plans regularly and make adjustments if necessary.

 

 

Fear of failure

 

Being afraid of failure paralyzes us.

It makes us reluctant to seize rewarding opportunities.

We fear failure, which is why we don’t even try. But this is the greatest failure of all: not trying is worse than failing.

 

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” - Robert Kennedy

 

Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid of not having the courage to try.

Realize that fear of failure is a major obstacle on the road to success.

Progress can only be accomplished by taking one step after the other. It doesn’t matter if you slip here and there. All that matters is that you get back up and continue walking.

 

Don’t see failure as something that is designed to punish you.

Use the lessons you have learned from failure to pursue your dreams with greater determination.

 

 

Wanting too much too quickly

 

A lot of people dream of accomplishing the greatest things.

They set incredibly challenging goals, then become intimidated once they realize how huge their goal is.

This brings them to feel discouraged because of lack of results.

 

There is no problem with aiming high and dreaming big.

It will encourage you to try hard and to strive for greatness.

 

The real problem lies in aiming high without considering the dedication, effort and work it takes each day to come anywhere close to your goals.

It’s a massive problem if we shoot for the stars, without thinking about developing a proper means of transportation to get us there.

 

It is human tendency to seek instant results.

Break down your goals to avoid becoming discourage too quickly.

Set major and minor milestones to keep you motivated at a high level during the whole journey.

 

Indiana Creatives

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Hempworx

 

Lack of belief in yourself

 

Successful people believe in themselves.

They believe in the ability to find solutions to the challenges they are confronted with.

Their strong belief in the capacity to figure things out as they progress encourages them to seize opportunities that seem too big.

 

Successful people understand that nothing will work for them if they are not absolutely convinced of it.

 

Unsuccessful people search for reasons why things aren’t working for them.

Successful people have the determination to make things work for them.

 

 

Lack of humility

 

Humble people are more likely to be high performers.

 

There are many reasons to be humble

It helps you think less about yourself (not to be confused with thinking less of yourself)

Helps realistically assess your strengths, weaknesses and limitations.

Help you realize there’s a great deal of things you do not know yet.

 

Unsuccessful or semi-successful people find that humility is the missing ingredient

They win one fight and all of a sudden they are experts in the art of war, figuratively speaking

 

Excuses

Blaming other people for your own mistakes and problems will ensure that you are destined to fail

Everyone is confronted with problems that knock us off our paths here and there

Its only when you stop using them as excuses will you finally start making progress in life

 

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else” - Benjamin Franklin

 

Successful people don’t let excuses stand between themselves and their goals

They Understand excuses lead them nowhere

Excuses are just a pacifier for people to quiet their own whining, nobody else cares

Avoid feel-good excuses for inactive, accept responsibility for your actions and take matters in your own hands

 

Unwillingness to network

You’ll miss plenty of opportunities if you don’t invest time to build strong relationships with those that can help you

Many people feel that “I don’t have to network, I’ll just be valuable enough to where people will come to me” This is a selfish and unrealistic mindset to have

Those people you’re talking about are just as busy pursuing their own goals

Relationships helps us meet the type of people we should have in our lives when on our journey

They can turn into your most valuable assets

 

Inclination to give up

Giving up is the fast track to failure

Unsuccessful people tend to give up way too easily

They dream of succeeding smoothly without to much effort of hold ups

This way of attaining success however is extremely rare, pretty much non existent

Giving up is always the most comfortable option, followed by whatever feel good excuse that justifies the decision

Don’t give up when you hit that first obstacle or stagnation, if you fall 8 times then get up 9

Failure cannot defeat you with this mindset

 

Being resistant to advice

Some people fail because they do not accept valuable feedback

They get defensive and argue why their way is right, that is an example of ego, which has no place when in the start up phase

Even if their efforts are unsuccessful they remain resistant to advice

These people prefer to be right rather than admit that the way they do things are not working

People tend to avoid acknowledging their own faults at all costs, because its not fun or comfortable

They rather convince others why they’re right instead of learning how to do things right

Busy vs. Productive

 

Busy people want to look like they have a mission. Productive people have a mission for their lives.

Busy people hide their doubt about the end goal of their lives by acting confident in their little steps

Productive people allows people to see the doubt in their little steps because they are clear in the destination

 

Busy people have many priorities. Productive people have few priorities.

Nobody is ever too busy, It comes down to their priorities at the time and where you fit in

If you have 3 priorities then you have priorities

If you have 25 of them, you have a mess

The pareto principle states that 80% of your desired results come from 20% of activity

Henry Ford built a fortune not by building better cars but by building a better system for making cars

Busy people say yes quickly. Productive people say yes slowly

If you don’t say no to most things, you are diving your life up into thousands of little pieces spread amongst other peoples priorities

This is being a people pleaser

Can quickly become frustrated and depressing because you spend all your days focusing on others priorities instead of your own

Which is not productive

If a person is offended or upset that you said no to them its because they care more about their priorities and values than yours

 

Busy people focus on action. Productive people focus on clarity before action.

Refer back to the 80/20 rule

To focus on the top 20% you must gain clarity about what those activities mean to you

Personal experience is your greatest resource when figuring out how to live a good life

Keep a journal and take 5 days to reflect on the past day, what worked and what didn't

Take some time to think about what inspires you

 

Busy people keep all the doors open, Productive people close doors

In the beginning, its good to have options

It's good to want to travel, learn different languages, go to a college, work in tech and live in another country

But there comes a point where its time to let go of all those options and focus

Examples, let's say you pick up 5 books and plan on reading them all at the same time, how much of that info will you actually retain and what are the chances that you’ll actually read all 5 books?

 

Busy people talk about how busy they are, Productive people let their results do the talking

Talking about doing something is not the same as actually doing, People love to sell pipe dreams

I’ve learned to have less and less interest in what people are telling me they are going to do

I ask them what they have already done

Past performance is a good indicator of future performance

Feeling productive is not the same as actually being productive

 

Busy people talk about how little time they have. Productive people make time for what is important

Time spent on excuses is time not spent on creation

If you allow excuses, you will get better and better at making them

Productive people don’t use time as an excuse

An action either supports your values/mission or it doesn’t

If it doesn’t, productive people simply won't do it, even if they have the whole day off

 

Busy people multitask, Productive people focus

Productive people know about focus

There's something called the Pomodoro Technique

Set a time for 20 minutes and work on that task until the timer sounds

No emails, texts, bathroom breaks, water breaks

 

Busy people respond quickly to emails. Productive people take their time

Emails are a handy list of priorities, The problem is they are other peoples priorities, not yours

People rarely think about what you have going on when they need something

If you respond to every message then you are dividing up your live into a thousand tiny bits that serve other peoples priorities

Which is why they came to you in the first place, they see you as a problem solver, so they come to you to solve their problems which creates this codependency in the relationship

How are they supposed to reach your level of problem solving if they won’t take the time to develop their own skills in that area

Become resourceful, GOOGLE

 

Busy people want other people to be productive, Productive people want others to be effective

Busy manager focus on hours of activity

Productive managers focus on output

Busy managers get stressed when they see ..

Others looking relaxed

Looking like they have tone

Looking like they’re enjoying themselves

Productive managers love seeing people..

Enjoy their work

Creating an environment where others can excel

Busy people are frustrated, they want to be valued for their effort, not their results

Productivity is about enjoying the journey towards excellence, not any moment of activity

 

Busy people talk about how they will change, Productive people are making those changes

Busy people talk about what they will do

Productive people talk about what they’ve done, what they’ve learned and what inspires them

Spend less time talking about what you will do and spend that time creating the first step

What can you do now that requires no approval from anyone

What can you do with your current resources, knowledge and support system

The universe rewards this type of behavior

11 signs you’re going to be even more successful than you think

 

People underestimate themselvesthey look at ceos and a large bank account and see them as way more successful than they are

But if youre following your passions, constantly learning, and making solid relationships, youre on the right track for success

 

You’re always looking for a better way to do thingsYou cant focus on the future if youre stuck in the past

The phrase “Thats how we’ve always done it” probably drives you crazy

You constantly have to ask “why is it done this way”

Resistance is the quickest way to stall your career and yourself

Always be thinking “What if we did it this way”

 

You have a vision for the kind of life you wantStop asking yourself “What job do I want”

Start asking “What life do I want” and how does this gig fit into the overall vision

Doesn’t matter if youre look a year or a decade ahead, as long as youre making an effort

Ask yourself “What does my ideal average day look like?”

Ask “What kind of people do I want to be connected with or meeting frequently”

 

Using your “signature strengths”Simply using the skills you’re uniquely good at

The more you use thesehappier

more respect

Feel good about what you’re doing

Plus the more you use these the more you’re going to achieve

 

You’re open to failureEveryone has to be open to failure or occasional failure, if it means trying something new

If you haven’t fell flat on your ass recently, you’re not trying hard enough

 

Willing to take calculated risksIt’ll be impossible to find one successful person who hasn’t taken on some risk here and there

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Hempworx Full time

Having another kid in between all of this

 

You respect the janitor like the CEO The importance of maintaining good relationships with people

Its all about who you know and who they know

Don’t burn bridges

Endless Resources

Overall “Don’t be an asshole”

 

You show a “beginners mind”Constantly curious

Constantly see the world as brand new as if you didnt know anything about it.

Huge advantage is business

This is necessary to take off the constraints that cause us to come up with old answers to difficult problems

Stop worrying about everything that has happened, which is a lot im sure, and say “OK” whats going on right now

 

Take time everyday to learnSchedule some time daily

Constantly expand your horizons

Self awareness

Personal development

Business development

 

You’re Self-AwareThose who have a more accurate picture of how theyre coming off tend to be more successful

Need 2 loving critics

If we can stop, listen and think for a sec about how others see us, theres a great opportunity there

Compare who you want to be with who you currently are and start closing the gap

 

Show gratitudeBenefits relationships, health and career

Opens doors to relationships

Reduces negativity

Step back in both good and bad times

 

Self CompassionQuit being hard on yourself

Positive internal dialogue

Understanding everyone makes mistakes

Being aware of your thoughts and feelings with succumbing to them

Treat yourself as a friend who has failed at something, support yourself

6 Signs they’re toxic for you

 

Toxic people often make you want to fix them and their problems

Make you feel sorry for them and make you feel responsible for their issues, even though their issues are never solved

Black hole of “needing help”

They require your ongoing sympathy and support and will create drama after drama to make sure you stay focused on them

But they’re problems are never solved, are they?

 

Toxic people are draining

Leave you emotionally drained

Its always about taking care of their business

This can lead to frustration and anger because in the end, they don’t really care about their own business and yet youre constantly involved in fixing it

Protect your time and energy

They’re manipulative

Get people to do what they want for them

Use other people to accomplish their goals

 

They’re Judgmental

Constantly Criticizing

 

They take no responsibility for their own feelings

They rather project their feelings onto you

 

They don’t apologize

They don’t see any reason too

Always someone else fault

Constantly playing victim

 

They make you prove yourself to them

Make you choose them or someone else

Choose Something they want over what you want

 

They’re not interested in what matters to you

When good things happen to you, it moves the attention away from them and they can’t deal with that

Make you feel guilty

Criticize how you’re doing it

Try to take away from your accomplishments

 

 

 

13 signs you’re in a toxic relationship

 

Passive aggression

Nothing is direct

Theres always criticizing

If you cant be direct in your relationship then you have nothing

 

Jealousy and the blame game

Were all human, some jealousy is expected

But excessive jealousy is never okay

 

Criticism and contempt

Constant nitpicking

 

Arguing without communicating

Yelling over each other

if theres no exchange of communication and neither person is able to say how they really feel, nothing will be solved

 

Negative Energy

Feeling uncomfortable or tense around someone is your body reacting to negative energy around you

Negativity can drain you

Mentally

Physically

Emotionally

Your Sig Other should be a release from that kind of stress

Just aren’t happy when around each other

Happier at work than at home?

 

Avoiding each other

If you cant stand the thought of being around them, its all bad

 

You’re not yourself

Change is going to happen

But you two should be changing in the same direction

Relationships should create a better you, not a worse version

 

Feeling like theres no point

Comfortable over choice

If you’re relationship is going nowhere and only one person is willing to change, why waste the time?

Only think about making him or her happy

2 way street

Both of you should be constantly thinking about different ways to make each other happy

 

Cant seem to do anything right

Everything you do upsets or annoys

walking on egg shells

 

Growth and change are seen as negatives

Relationships have to evolve in order to last

“Why can’t things just stay like this” is a long-term relationship killer

At some point someone will want more and the other will start feeling left out and make it an issue either directly or passively

 

Reminiscing on the beginning instead of looking toward the future

Constantly thinking about when you first met and how it was, and holding onto that even tho the current situation is nothing like that

Fantasizing about what used to be is not healthy or realistic

 

You’re just not happy anymore

You don’t have to justify your happiness

You should feel supported and capable of doing anything

When things fall apart, this person should give you stability

 

 

 

10 things to stop being a toxic person

 

Stop assuming you’re better or worse than anyone else

Stop being an egomaniac

Stop thinking your either way better or worse than your partner

You experience these both at times and act out in jealousy

Try to work towards being healthy

Your partner in human just like you with strengths and weaknesses, no one is better or worse

 

Take some time for yourself

One form of toxicity Is codependency

You require a partner to be ok, so put immense expectations on your person

Results in disappointment and fighting

Time to isolate and get familiar with yourself

This could even mean breaking up or taking a break

 

Seek therapy or some sort of structured support

If you’re toxic, you probably have trauma or emotional baggage that needs to be sorted through

Childhood example of relationships

First step is awareness and next is structured action

 

Practice meditation or breathing exercises to cool your emotions

If anger feels uncontrollable

Sadness is devastating

Great way of grounding yourself

Woo saw

 

Be honest with yourself

Hard part is done, youre aware your the toxic one

This takes tons of self awareness and guts to come to terms with

You need to keep peeling back those layers as to why you act and react the way you do

 

Lean into the messiness

Realizing your toxic is the beginning

Theres months and years of messiness ahead

You’re going to have to put in work to function normally

There will be mistakes or hiccups along the way

Old habits will resurface and make a mess of things

Its all good, as long as you’re trying

 

Take responsibility for your actions

For the first time in a while, its time to own your own mistakes instead of blaming them on someone else

Sorrys won’t cut it anymore, actions have to follow

 

Do the right thing, not the easy thing

Next time your partner is talking about the opposite sex, instead of being passive aggressive try being neutral

You don’t have to like being Neutral but you need to work on it anyway

 

Bite your tongue

Your mouth is what gets you in trouble

Stop lashing out

Stop nitpicking and calling it (Being honest)

practice biting your sharp tongue

sometimes saying nothing at all is your best option

 

Know you are not broken or unlovable, “YOU” just need to heal yourself

Realizing youre toxic can be devastating

You start layering up the self hatred

This is not useful to you or anyone else

Youre just another human doing the best you can

You’re not damaged you just require some space to repair yourself

Game plan for the next 6 months:

 

Basic Stuff:

Start sleeping and waking up earlier

Quit sleeping in, attack the morning

You don’t have to wake up when its time to get ready for work, get up beforehand

Clean your living area

Watch a documentary while creating a today to do list

Workout

Catch up on some personal goals towards your passion

Meditate

Play the new Spiderman (Life about balance)

 

Start watching what you eat

Quit dining out (your budget will thank you)

Quit processed foods

Learn your body type to develop eating habits

Drink more water

Learn to cook (your future spouse will thank you)

 

Start exercising

Start small and build yourself up

1-2 then 2-3 times a week

Download a fitness app if you don’t have a partner (Mention app)

Create a fitness goal to focus on for the next 6 months

Make sure its a realistic goal so you don’t get discouraged

 

Maintain/refresh your house/apartment

Nostalgia (parents example)

New layout, New you

Learn Fung Shui

Add some plants in your life

Sprinkle some art in your living space

Deep clean your living space (fresh restart)

 

Cut off toxic people/relationships

Cut off anyone who holds you back or doubts you in anyway

Have “the talk” with your spouse and let them know your situation

Cut off your toxic job

Separate yourself from bars and clubs for the next 6 months (use that money towards building something)

Start building a new inner circle or just any circle

 

Start getting curious (About everything)

Read 30-60 minutes a day

At least an article on anything educational

Replace orange is the new black with Explained

Less sitcoms more tutorials/documentaries

Get into Ted Talks on the way to work

Build self-awareness

 

Reconnect with your spouse

Go on weekly dates

Talk and more importantly listen to them

Find hobbies/passions you could share

Start visiting museums together

 

Start learning personal finance

YNAB

Tracking spending (3 months)

Create Budgets

Age your Money

Get ahead financially

Start learning the basics of investing

Read cash-flow quadrant

 

Develop a side hustle

Things I’ve Learned in my 20s (Whats the hurry??)

 

Start Taking Good Care Of Yourself Now

Health is the most important thing

Learned from my dad.

Want to be around for our kids

Goals for later in life

Be preventative

 

Everything Takes Time   

EVERYTHING. Rome wasn’t built in a day

Welcome to the slow and discouraging build

Those who can make it past the slow build will find the success everyone is after

Stay consistent and don’t give up

Gary V: Be a romantic about the journey and the process

Deploy patience and fall in love with the process

 

Your past doesn’t define you

Don’t cling to the goods or bads of your past.

Accomplishments

Addiction, depression and bad choices

 

You're Going To Feel Lost   

You are deciding what to do with the rest of your life

You are on your own

Constantly weighing pros and cons

Always go with your gut

 

Dreams Require Sacrifice  

Put in the time now

You aren’t missing anything at the bar

Get comfortable with being poor

Cut your ties with material things

 

Stop Caring What People Think

Love yourself and what they say won’t matter.

Know yourself and what you want enough to stop valuing others opinions

What they say is none of your business

Keep moving forward with you and your goals

 

Your reputation is everything. Uphold it with all you’ve got. 

Be a good person and stay true to your values

Love everyone

Kill with kindness

Remember that everything you type is a screenshot away from a public post

 

Embrace Failure  

Soak in the failure

This is what you will measure your life by

Success is made up of tackling failure after failure

Without it there would be no success

 

Assuming makes an ass out of you and me

Always be clear. MORE THAN CLEAR.

Make your intentions known.

If you don’t know the intentions of someone else just ask.

Grey areas are for suckers. When it comes to relationships with others, make sure all interaction leads to black and white.

 

Don't Compare Yourself To Others   

Everyone starts somewhere

If you are too busy focusing on someone 2 miles down the road you won’t even make it to the first mile marker.

All you can do is work your ass off and go after your vision

 

Don't Make Excuses, Apologize  

Be the bigger person 

Lose the pride. It will transform your life.

 

Things Don't Work Out For A Reason 

Your life is taking you exactly where you are meant to go

If something doesn’t work out it’s making room for something better

 

Invest In knowledge, Not Things  

Love of material things always ends badly

Invest in life long learning

Always strive to be better and learn more

 

Start learning financial literacy

Personal finance

Taxes

start a corporation for your business

Read financial books

 

You And Your Friends Will Change 

- In your 20s you are deciding who you want to be, and so are your friends

- Its not always going to be in the same direction and thats ok

-

Eliminate Negative People  

Even if they are your family

They have no place in your life if you are aiming for success and they are shooting you down.

 

Time Is Your Most Precious Resource  

Spend Less Time Staring At A Screen

Focus on family and real world activities  

Spend time on experiences

Realize in the moment that you will miss this time of your life.

 

Adopt A Dog