Lunchtime in Rome

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 210 entitled “Words to Live By Part 2”

Tonight we will be discussing more of ours and your favorite Life Mottos.  What are the words or phrases that you live by?  

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Mottos Our Listeners Sent In!

* Brian Herr

* Happy wife, happy life

* Enjoy it while it lasts

* You prayed for this

* All's fair in love and war

* One day at a time

* They're in a better place

* Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28, other coffee cup verses

* God won't give you more than you can handle

* When God shuts a door, He opens a window

* God helps those who help themselves

* Money is the root of all evil

* Amy Rayman

* It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

* Consider the source

* Be kinder than you feel

* Keri Mason

* Check yourself before you wreck yo self (I'm being serious).

* Keep on keepin' on

* Roza Osgoodby

* Don’t be an a$$hole.

* You are responsible for the consequences of your actions.

* 20 years from now…will this really matter?

* This too shall pass.

* Missy Mercurio Haney

* Smile at EVERYBODY. 

* Also, always return the cart.

* Lydia DeFazio

* It’s not worth it

* Rick

* From his mother “You can glad in the same skin you got mad in”

* Hunter

* "Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been… Ever, for any reason whatsoever…"

* Joe

* When leaving someone always say I Love You…or something like that

* Always be better than Mike P

* Jan

* Everyone has a story

* Cathy

* Always have plenty of beverages in hand

* Tommy

* Serenity Prayer & Trust in God but keep your powder dry

* Natalie

* Do the next thing

* Mike P

* “It could always  be worse, not sure how but it could be”

* Tyler

* No matter how close you are, in the end, friends are going to let you down.  Family, they’re the only ones you can depend upon.

* What use is an unloaded gun?

* Go ahead and order some for the table.

* Buy land (he owns none) ‘cause God ain’t making any more of it

* Matthew

* People may not remember your name but they’ll remember how you made them feel

* Marcie

* It never hurts to ask

* Chris’s relatives:

* Andrea(sister): “Usually it’s’ “well, that didn’t go as planned”, because nothing ever does.  So maybe, “enjoy the ride”, because it is the everyday “nothingness” that is the part of life we miss when we look back.  Good luck putting that on a t-shirt and selling it!

* Hayley (sister-in-law):”To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

* Nan (Aunt): Always be kind, because you never know what someone else might be going through.  A kind word or deed may go a lot further than you can imagine.

* Anthony DeMarco

* Don't be a d*ck.

* Lauren Boothby

* Fake it till you make it!!

* Sally Feeney Herr

* God's got this.

* I always knew this however in 1981 when we had our stillborn son, and again in 2016 with the diagnosis of GIST this became my motto. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 209 entitled “Words to Live By”

Tonight we will be discussing many of ours and your favorite Life Mottos. What are the words or phrases that you live by?

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Mottos Our Listeners Sent In!

* Brian Herr

* Happy wife, happy life

* Enjoy it while it lasts

* You prayed for this

* All's fair in love and war

* One day at a time

* They're in a better place

* Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28, other coffee cup verses

* God won't give you more than you can handle

* When God shuts a door, He opens a window

* God helps those who help themselves

* Money is the root of all evil

* Amy Rayman

* It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

* Consider the source

* Be kinder than you feel

* Keri Mason

* Check yourself before you wreck yo self (I'm being serious).

* Keep on keepin' on

* Roza Osgoodby

* Don’t be an a$$hole.

* You are responsible for the consequences of your actions.

* 20 years from now…will this really matter?

* This too shall pass.

* Missy Mercurio Haney

* Smile at EVERYBODY. 

* Also, always return the cart.

* Lydia DeFazio

* It’s not worth it

* Rick

* From his mother “You can glad in the same skin you got mad in”

* Hunter

* "Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been… Ever, for any reason whatsoever…"

* Joe

* When leaving someone always say I Love You…or something like that

* Always be better than Mike P

* Jan

* Everyone has a story

* Cathy

* Always have plenty of beverages in hand

* Tommy

* Serenity Prayer & Trust in God but keep your powder dry

* Natalie

* Do the next thing

* Mike P

* “It could always  be worse, not sure how but it could be”

* Tyler

* No matter how close you are, in the end, friends are going to let you down.  Family, they’re the only ones you can depend upon.

* What use is an unloaded gun?

* Go ahead and order some for the table.

* Buy land (he owns none) ‘cause God ain’t making any more of it

* Matthew

* People may not remember your name but they’ll remember how you made them feel

* Marcie

* It never hurts to ask

* Chris’s relatives:

* Andrea(sister): “Usually it’s’ “well, that didn’t go as planned”, because nothing ever does.  So maybe, “enjoy the ride”, because it is the everyday “nothingness” that is the part of life we miss when we look back.  Good luck putting that on a t-shirt and selling it!

* Hayley (sister-in-law):”To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

* Nan (Aunt): Always be kind, because you never know what someone else might be going through.  A kind word or deed may go a lot further than you can imagine.

* Anthony DeMarco

* Don't be a dick.

* Lauren Boothby

* Fake it till you make it!!

* Sally Feeney Herr

* God's got this.

* I always knew this however in 1981 when we had our stillborn son, and again in 2016 with the diagnosis of GIST this became my motto. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 208 entitled “Emotional Needs that Clash pt. 2”

Why do you seem to clash with other people over and over again? There's very often an actual reason why. We'll continue to talk about that this evening at The Table.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 207 entitled “Emotional Needs that Clash”

Why do you clash with others? Perhaps your emotional needs don't match up with theirs. It's sneaky and can go unnoticed in all types of relationships. We'll be looking at that this week at The Table.    

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Emotional Needs that Clash

Fights are born out of needs not being met or actively taken from another.

Most people have the same fight over and over again just with different circumstances

Specific emotional needs clash with others and head to the list

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 206 entitled “Very Good Relationships - Mutual Giving”

Tonight, at the table, we will continue to talk about how to take your relationship from good to very good.  We will be discussing the 3rd component that all Very Good relationships have.  It can't just be a one way relationship.    

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Mutual Giving

* Review the 1st 2 components

* Christ at the Center

* Not just a slogan

* Does it HAVE to be God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit?

* What about the universe or a counselor?

* They are a 3rd party (kind of w/the universe)

* They are objective

* They have an outside perspective

* What is special/unique to God in that role (if you believe)

* He knows both of you

* He (in a marriage) created you to be one

* He is ever present and speaking to both of you

* Open, Honest, and Vulnerable communication

* Not discreet or clouded

* Not manipulative

* Expressing a need or a hurt

* Which leads us to and is dependant upon our 3rd component

* Mutual Giving

* What is a one way relationship?

* One partner gives, the other takes

* One person’s needs are met, the others are not

* Is that better than a no way relationship?  Maybe, but does it matter?

* Can a relationship exist where it’s a one way or no way relationship?  

* Yes

* It will not be very good

* What is the opposite of Mutual Giving?

* The selfish taking (or stealing) to meet needs

* This not only doesn’t satiate

* It robs the other person of the joy of giving

* No needs being met

* What does it look like?

* The meeting of needs to love the other person

* Putting the others needs AT LEAST with, if not healthily above, yours…trusting that they will meet yours

* Why doesn’t this happen?

* One person is more committed to the relationship

* One person is manipulative

* One person is incapable of giving

* Physically sick

* Emotionally impaired - previous hurts conditioning the person to not meet the others needs

* One (or more) are ill equipped to give

* What happens when there is no mutual giving?

* Intimacy is lost

* Both people suffer differently

* The giving one’s needs aren’t met

* The receiving one’s becomes an island

* If it’s a no way relationship the two stop becoming one, the relationship ceases to exist

* What are simple/practical ways of accomplishing this?

* Be OHV

* Identify (RNQ) what your and your spouse/child/friends needs are

* Identify and communicate (clearly) how to meet those needs in tangible/identifiable ways.

* Show appreciation that an attempt was made and even more if the need was met.

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 205 entitled “Very Good Relationships - Open, Honest, and Vulnerable”

Tonight, at the table, we will continue to talk about how to take your relationship from good to very good.  We will be discussing the 2nd component that all Very Good relationships have.  What are the characteristics of good communication in relationships?  What does poor communication look like and how can we fix it?  We’re talking about that this evening.    

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Tonight’s Podcast - The 2nd component of Very Good relationships

* Intro - Review

* Good to Very Good

* Christ at the Center

* Very Good Relationships have open, honest, and vulnerable communication

* Open

* It is open and obvious

* It is not clouded or discreet

* It is not with anger or threats

* Honest

* It is not deceptive

* It reveals how we are feeling and what we need

* It is descriptive and clear (as possible)

* It may even include describing how to meet that need - “Give legs to the need”

* Vulnerable

* It must express a need…or hurt (that needs to be comforted)

* It must be open and honest enough to risk being hurt if that need is not met

* The opposite of this is

* To deny needs our needs or hurts

* To angrily lash out to express them

* Selfish ways we do not communicate OHV and how to fix them

* Selfishness—exalting our neediness

* "I have needs and I'm going to take to have my needs met."

* Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

* (Philippians 2:3)

* Antidote = faith

* Self-Reliance—denying our neediness

* "I have no needs, but if I did, I'd take care of them myself."

* You say . . . I do not need a thing. But you do not realize…

* (Revelation 3:17)

* Antidote = humility

* Self-Condemnation—denouncing our neediness

* "I do have needs, but I feel bad that I do."

* There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

* (Romans 8:1)

* Antidote = gratitude

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

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Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 204 entitled “Postpartum Depression”

Tonight we welcome Emily Tappe to The Table.  She will be helping us understand how to recognize and survive postpartum depression through her very own experience.  We are very blessed by her courage and willingness to share.  

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

What is postpartum depression?

* Postpartum depression is feeling so sad and hopeless that you can't do your normal activities. It starts during the weeks and months after having a baby.

* It’s common to feel sad or miserable in the first few days after giving birth—these feelings are normal and usually go away within 2 weeks

* Postpartum depression is a more serious mood change that lasts for weeks or months

* You have trouble doing daily activities and may lose interest in your baby

* About 1 in 10 women gets postpartum depression

* It can happen even if you never had depression before

* If untreated, postpartum depression can last for months or years

* Doctors treat postpartum depression with antidepressants and therapy

* Go to the hospital right away if you're thinking of suicide or having violent thoughts, such as hurting your baby.

What causes postpartum depression?

* Many women have no risk factors. But you’re more likely to get postpartum depression if you:

* Have depression before or during pregnancy—tell your doctor if you had depression before you got pregnant

* Had postpartum depression in a previous pregnancy

* Have sadness or depression during your period or while taking birth control

* Have family members who have depression

* Are stressed by things like money or marriage problems

* Lack support from a partner or family members

* Had problems related to your pregnancy, such as an early delivery or a baby with birth defects

* Weren't sure you wanted a baby (for example, the pregnancy was unplanned)

What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?

* Common symptoms:

* Extreme sadness

* Crying

* Mood swings

* Getting irritated easily

* Not being interested in your baby

You may also have:

* Extreme tiredness

* Changes in sleep, such as sleeping too much or too little

* Anxiety or panic attacks

* Difficulty doing daily activities, such as showering

* Worrying too much about your baby without good reason

* Feeling hopeless or not good enough

* Feeling guilty about any of these feelings

When should I go to the doctor for postpartum depression?

* You should see your doctor if:

* You feel sad and have trouble doing your usual activities for more than 2 weeks after your baby is born

* You have thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby

* Friends and family have noticed you seem to be depressed or having a hard time coping with things

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 203 entitled “Very Good Relationships - Christ at the Center”

How are your relationships?  How would you describe your closest relationship?  There's an ideal answer and we'll be talking about that (and how to begin to get there) at The Table this evening!

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

* Revisit Good vs Very Good

* Biblical basis

* Real life reasons

* What most marriages say

* Review history of divorces -  the reason divorce rates went up and down had nothing to do with “very good” relationships

* Remind that this applies to ALL relationships

* Revisit what a good relationship looks like

* Intimacy within each others lives (not just sex) 

* Trials and tribulations bring couples closer together

* All 4 types of needs are being met

* There is an upward trend of the quality and intimacy of the relationship

* It is not the absence of conflict but the overcoming of it

* Preview the 3 components of Very Good relationships

* Christ at the Center

* Open, Honest, and Vulnerable Communication

* Mutual Giving

* Tonight’s Main Topic - Christ at the Center

* In healthy relationships, we look to God as the source of help, allowing Him to involve others in meeting our needs as He chooses.

* We should talk with Him about what we need

* We should talk with Him about what THEY need

* We should ask God to help us understand them 

* What they are presently going through

* What they have been through in the past

* How He feels for them right now

* In not Very Good relationships

* We ONLY rely upon and put pressure on the other to meet our needs

* God is left out as a bystander

* We may not be praying for the other person at all

* We may only pray in generalities and not specifics or for insight

* We "entrust" their maturation to God, leaving Him unhindered to accomplish His work in their lives. 

* Unhealthy try to control or manipulate their responses to our needs

* Healthy relationships trust that their maturation in the Lord will inevitably work to meet your needs

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 202 entitled “Very Good Relationships”

How are your relationships?  How would you describe your closest relationship?  There's an ideal answer and we'll be talking about that (and how to begin to get there) at The Table this evening!

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Marriages in America (last 100 years)

Divorce Rates During the 30s

While the trend thus far in history had been for the divorce rate to increase, this isn't quite the case with the 30s. Due to the depression in the 30s, many couples stayed together because they couldn't afford the aftermath of divorce. It wasn't until the unemployment rate went down that the increasing divorce rate trend continued. Unemployment was at its highest in 1933, and as the unemployment rate declined throughout the late 30s, the divorce rate increased.

1930 - .16%

Divorce Rates During the 40s

The 40s saw a distinctive spike in divorce rates right after World War II. Some have suggested that many families were strained under the burden of living with a man who may have been incapacitated during the war, or that many women had a new found freedom in working and didn't want to give that up. Regardless, the spike in statistics suggests that the end of the war definitely put a strain on family life.

1946 - .43%

Divorce Rates During the 50s and 60s

The 50s saw a decrease in divorce, and the rate remained relatively static until after 1967 when divorce laws began to change.

1958 - .21%

1967 - .26%

Divorce Rate Jumps in the 70s

Divorce continued to rise steadily, taking a big jump in the 1970s. This may have been because, for the first time, couples have the option of a no-fault divorce. It was also the first time a spouse could cite irreconcilable differences as the reason for the divorce, making it much easier to obtain. Prior to this point, anyone wanting to end their marriage had to prove adultery or cruelty in the marriage.

1979 - .53%

Divorce Rates for the 1980s

Divorce rates in the 1980's remained high, reflecting the changing lifestyles and the changing divorce laws. However, the statistics did level off slightly even starting to lower at the end of the decade.

1989 - .47%

Divorce Rates During the 1990s

While divorces peaked during the 80s, rates declined into the late 1990s. While this has been attributed to many factors, like birth control and marriages later in life, the statistics from the U.S. Census in 2011 show the rates making a steady downward trend.

1999 - .41%

Divorces slowly declined and bottomed out in 2020 followed by a huge spike in 2021

2020 - 15%

2021 - 20%

Why are divorce statistics on the decline?

* More couples are opting for cohabitation without legal marriage

* Millennials are waiting longer to get married than previous generations

* Higher education levels for women correlate with longer-lasting marriages

* Not all separated couples file for legal divorce

* The Coronavirus pandemic has delayed divorce proceedings across the nation in recent years

* While divorce rates are down, marriage rates are down by more…

Characteristics of very good marriages

* Intimacy within each others lives (not just sex) 

* Trials and tribulations bring couples closer together

* All 4 types of needs are being met

* There is an upward trend of the quality and intimacy of the relationship

* It is not the absence of conflict but the overcoming of it

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 201 entitled Catching up…kind of…

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