Jeff is a partner at Kaufman & Lynd and he's here each Monday with free legal advice

The U.S. Secret Service broke into a hair salon in Massachusetts without permission to use the bathroom and help themselves to some mints, Angry father shoots at beauty pageant judges after daughter comes in 4th place, Judge hit a guy with 558 days of jailtime for cursing at him during court appearance...bonus: Same Michigan judge from the infamous 'Zoom' traffic case

Mike is a sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on AM 740 and FM 96.9 The Game

A truck hauling molasses crashed into a truck hauling manure, Hundreds of packages go undelivered when a Scottish island's only delivery driver quit, It's been a bit since we heard from the naughty 'Library Girl'...

Golf cart used to simulate the experience of a drunk driver crashed and injured five people, The Museum of Ice Cream sued over 'unsafe' sprinkle pool injury, A live groundhog had to be rescued from a claw machine in Pennsylvania...Punxsutawney Phil unavailable for comment

Recap of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly newsmakers of the week

Huge Pop-Tarts the size a big screen TV immediately sold out--Kellogg's may make more, Australian sexual health organization apologizes after distributing ultrasound probe covers instead of condoms, Atlanta area club is evicted and all of the contents were placed in parking lot...then a mass of people showed up and took everything

Mike is a sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on AM 740 and FM 96.9 The Game

Doug Ford, Canadian politician and premier of Ontario asks people to stop pooping on the beach, Guess this kind of falls into the 'It happened again' category: CrossFit games competitor drowns in Texas lake on opening day of competition, Russian chess player accused of poisoning her rival

Climate activists trash Lionel Messi's $12m Ibiza mansion, Man charged after stealing $600,000 worth of 'Bluey' limited edition 'dollarbucks', Woman got arrested after sharing her all-you-can-eat order at Applebee's, Florida parrot named Apollo broke a record by identifying 12 objects in 3 minutes