BOO! There's only one thing scarier than ghouls and goblins on Halloween.... and that is Van Halen fronted by Gary Cherone! We brought you the next scariest thing; Van Halen fronted by a very horny Sammy Hagar. Why not compare love-filled sex to a dense bread? Well, we'll tell you why.

The dudes take a crack at Modest Mouse's idea of a positive song.... whether you like it or not. Isaac Brock tries on some of his weird codified language for this positivity-through-nihilism anthem and we're not so sure it works.

A slight change of course... Seth and Marc aren't talking about lyrics that are bad, but about a song that is misinterpreted... The Boss's Born In The USA. Often seen by fist-pumping, over-excited people who just like to chant "U!S!A!" a lot as a pro-patriot anthem, the truth is much darker.

Seth and Marc are back together post-Hurricane Ian to listen to Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars wax poetic about what he would do if he was a billionaire. The short list? Have a TV show, wake up in different cities, play basketball with the president, and MAYBE help with Hurricane Katrina victims. This guy kind of sucks.

The guys take a little trip to the Caribbean to visit the troublesome reggae hit Sweat by the Bad Boys of Inner Circle. If the music video has anything to say about what's going on here, we got a song about a guy getting a littllllle ahead of himself because he saw someone smile and immediately thinks that's a good queue to tell her he wants to fuck her into exhaustion. Not what we'd recommend. Beware of the high Creep Factor!

Seth and Marc are here to tell you what this song is about. Mark Foster and his People are here to tell you how great they are and how truly important this song is. Today, we look at what's going on in this repetitive earworm outside of the boring chorus and talk about whether or not it hits the Mark.

Yikes. Double yikes. TRIPLE yikes, even. This short-played single dealing with abuse seen as love through the eyes of the abused was pretty instantly put on the back burner and with good reason. Carole King and her then husband writing a song about their babysitter who was showing up bruised at the hands of her boyfriend and making it into a hit with Phil Spector? QUADRUPLE YIKES.

Horniness ahead! Seth and Marc talk about a topic they could go on and on about for days... Mariah Carey. On the brink, and in the process, of getting out from clutches of her husband Tony Mottola, she was reformed and ready to get horny. But this song sounds like it might be more about something more addictive than love... and we don't mean honey.

Rod's back, baby! And he brought Ronnie Wood with him to tell stories about traveling the world, being so hot and famous you cause a stampede, and then being racist toward Asian people. Why don't we wrap it up by repeating the song title 24 times which has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the song? Whatever, Rod. Just leave the woman in the cabin alone.

Hej! Seth and Marc take on the the Ace of Base smash hit All That She Wants. Is this song about a woman trying to trick men into planting their seed in her a la Heart to collect welfare or is she just looking to get plowed like a Swedish potato field? Or is she hunting men for sport? The guys take a look and also discuss one members' shady past.