Thomas pulls all of his muscles, Allen and Madison host their own live reaction show, Michelle lies about trying, Juan's job is an enigma, and Ikechi's got some damn nerve.

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Luann is in her love bubble, Ramona's eyes have never been bigger, Tinsley is barely there, Dorinda makes it nice, Carole is a pioneer woman, and Bethenny MENTIONS IT ALL!

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We didn't want to leave you hanging with no episode this week, so we hopped into the time machine and went back to season 3 of New Jersey. Teresa deals with a useless husband on Christmas morning, Kathy gets the sweetest gift in the history of humanity, Jackie regrets raising a terrible daughter, Caroline wears her pajamas for Christmas Eve dinner, and Melissa pairs a Rolex with Steve Madden heels.

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David gets his brows done, Juan goes on a 30-mile bike ride to get away from Karla, Thomas and Camille knock boots, Madison pretends to be turned on by Allen, and Ikechi continues to be The Worst™

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Ikechi gets a verbal atomic wedgie from Rafiu, Madison pretends to like Allen, Gabrielle leads a college-level Black Studies course for Thomas and Camille, David considers resorting to smoke signals in order to communicate with Michelle, and Juan hears the words, "love language" for the very first time in his entire life.

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Karla is unhoused, David's apartment isn't an apartment, Loofy makes his debut, Ikechi's bass playing is unfortunate, and Thomas doesn't have a Move™.

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Karla can hover above water, Thomas found out he was adopted via sitcom pilot episode plot, Madison sits on the bed in wet gym clothes, Ikechi fails to make himself cry, and David hunts for the Blair Witch.

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Madison's dad wants to make sure Allen isn't riddled with venereal diseases, Ikechi's friends break the shocking news that Ikechi is an author, Thomas' eyes bug out of his head and he yells, "Awooga," Juan's dad ruins brunch, and Madison is in day two of a slow-moving anxiety attack.

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