We're kicking off a new old season of MAFS in Washington, DC. Katie is a teenager, Meka is way more responsible than your average 25-year-old, Jessica is a catch and nobody knows why, Zach is allergic to shirts, and Taylor has a billion jobs.

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I volunteer to appear as a character witness against Jax Taylor in whatever trial he winds up in down the line.

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Shante makes bad decisions, Tyler is fully delusional, Lino and Alexa are boring as hell, and Grant has lost touch with reality.

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Grant is a sadsack, Shante is a doormat, Lino's best friend is a stranger, and Tayler has realistic expectations.

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Brion gets dumped, Alexa and Lino are still boring, Tyler likes the taste of mud, and Ashley and Danny understand what to do on a pottery date.

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Shante is deep in denial, Tayler lives by an arbitrary set of rules, Alexa and Lino are back on the show, and Grant talks a big game.

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Brion is delusional, Ashley finally makes out with Danny, Tayler is unmoved by Case's return, and Alexa and Lino have vanished.

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Brion is gross, Ashley is fed up, Tayler needs therapy, and Alexa and Lino are basically extras.

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Brion is gross, Lino is clueless, Grant doesn't understand what night vision is, and we're all very frustrated on Kay's behalf.

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Grant has no game, Brion remains disgusting, Lino has an outsized sense of self, and Tayler can't dress.

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