GOLD NUGGET: Treat everyone like a client! This prevents fights because you are thinking twice and not firing off from an emotional place.
Welcome to The Hot Girl School!
We're your hosts Lauren and Danielle, here to empower you to embrace your inner radiance because confidence is so much more than looks. Our goal is to help you become your best self.
Whether you're strutting into an event or conquering the boardroom, join us as we explore topics like self love, inner strength and owning your unique journey to confidence.
How do I apologize?
Step 1: Take a look at the situation from the other person's point of view.
Step 2: Reflect. Take a look at yourself, evaluate the feedback you have received about yourself over the years and understand that perhaps it's just your big personality that was misinterpreted.
*Error on the side of apologizing if you reflect and think you were in the wrong but the other person didn't have the guts to say something.
Have the confidence to own it! That's hot!
EXERCISE 1: If you know that you can be abrasive, aggressive, and/or misinterpreted, tell people up front that you know you can be that way so they are prepared. Part 2: Also work on softening your approach!
The RUDE and some could argue that the wrong answer is to simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way". We all know what it feels like to hear someone say that to us and it shows that they don't take any responsibility for what might have happened. They didn't even give it a second thought. Don't be that person!
Back to the gold nugget. How to treat your boyfriend/husband like a client. How to treat your girlfriend/wife like a client. Insert mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. Danielle makes an excellent point stating that in a professional setting, you think twice before firing off the email. You have a reputation to uphold, your ego wants you stay in line, but when you get home and the comfort of being around that person sets in, it becomes easier to take the professional mask off and unleash. This HURTS relationships. It's disrespectful.
Bottom line: If you wouldn't do it at work, why would you do it at home?
Remember, when you are OWED an apology or feel that you are, the other person isn't a mind reader. It's your responsibility to let that person know. Again in a calm, relationship preserving matter to strengthen rather than destroy the relationship.
What does that look like?
Exercise 2: Lauren likes to voice record herself talking about the situation. Talk it to death! Say whatever you want, need and feel because no one is listening. Then it's out of your system and you can replay the message and hear how you sound. With this, it becomes easier to see if you are being dramatic or valid and how to move forward with your feelings.
*If you want to take it a step further, you can role play different scenarios of responses you think you may receive. Of course, this is with yourself. This is how you show up authentically for yourself and the other person. Sharing it with others will only influence your response. Unnecessary.
A sincere apology: I'm so sorry that I came across that way because that wasn't my intention.
This is a very caring statement and mends that person's feeling. This isn't apologizing for something that you feel doesn't deserve an apology. It's apologizing for how you made that person feel and being aware that you accidentally did so. They feel seen (:
PRO TIP: If you need space from someone, give them a head's up that something they did or said was hurtful and you need time to digest it. You will reach out when you feel ready.
Yes, this may leave that person feeling uncomfortable, but more than likely, they know what it's about.
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