Don't take things personally because most of the time, it's NOT about you! Unless someone directly tells you what's going on behind the scenes, which would require an extremely self aware person AND a great communicator, you will most likely just be left in the dark. So as Danielle says, you will unfortunately deal with a**holes through your life.
Welcome to The Hot Girl School! The podcast where we redefine confidence and go way beyond the reflection you see in the mirror.
We're your hosts Lauren and Danielle, here to empower you to embrace your inner radiance because confidence is so much more than looks. Our goal is to help you become your best self.
Whether you’re strutting into an event or conquering the boardroom, join us as we explore topics like self love, inner strength and owning your unique journey to confidence.
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Today we are discussing why you should have thick skin and how to not take things personally. Realizing you can't control those around you is a huge part of not taking things personally.
Remember when someone is nasty to you, it's because of how THEY feel. Maybe they are envious or jealous but they could also be in self preservation mode. If something you do or say triggers that person, while it's not your responsibility to help them, it is your responsibility to know that you did nothing wrong.
Most people are victims. They don't hold themselves accountable for their words or actions. It's far easier to point the finger and blame someone else than it is to admit that they are in the wrong. Rather than playing into their victimy drama, which is not hot btw, choose to take the high road. By not giving them the reaction they want, it sets a boundary for you and removes you from further drama. There is a great change that the victim will try more than once to provoke you. Once they realize that you are unbothered they will move on to someone else.
Keep in mind, this can happen in all sorts of relationships.
If this is in a romantic relationship that person is demonstrating their toxic traits. It may hurt a lot and not be clear that this behavior is wrong because your blinders are on, but once you are out of it, you will see that behavior as a giant red flag. Be proud of yourself for not letting them get under your skin and be grateful that you dodged a bullet.
If this is in a friendship, it's far easier to stay away and remove that person from your life because there are no blinders on. Be in control by seeing that person on your terms. Try having a conversation about what happened. If they gaslight you, again not hot, then you know there is no reasoning with someone who is the victim.
Taking things personally allows the person dishing it out to keep you under their thumb and while you might not even realize it, you are very slowly allowing your confidence to be chipped away. By absorbing all of the thoughts, words and actions from others and thinking that is a direct reflection of you, you will have no idea who you are or who to be since you feel that no one likes you.
Self love, self care, self development is knowing who you are. When you are strong and confident, you know when someone is bulldozing over you and where you stand on topics that feel uncomfortable.
Should you find yourself in the same position time and time again, have responses prepared. Being in control of your reaction will give you peace because if you take it personally, that ugly monster might come out and you won't be able to unsay damaging things.
Remember, you can say anything you want to say as long as you say it nicely.
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