Mahogany Momology

Episode 11: No New Friends

It's been said as we age, it is more difficult to find and sustain friendships. Today, we will discuss the thinking behind the terminology of "No New Friends" and why this is perpetuated among Black women.

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Momology:

1. (Self-limiting) Rationale on NOT making new friends ("I'm lonely):
   1. No one enjoys the same hobbies as I do
   2. I don't care for negative people around me—too much drama and cattiness
   3. Meet-up groups are not my type of thing.
   4. My partner is the only friend I need.
   5. Friendship= only social or professional growth, not companionship
   6. I'm introverted; I don't like people
   7. I need/prefer friends around my same age.
2. Reflections on the lack of friendships
   1. Identifying the type of person you are: do you prefer engagement via text with occasional IRL encounters? Do you like going out all the time?
   2. What is limiting is SUSTAINING friendships?
   3. What kind of people have you attracted in the past? This could be an internal reflection on the person YOU are!
   4. Making friendships are relationships. They require time and effort in cultivating them.
   5. YOUR HOMEWORK: Identify one person you think you interested in befriending. Start with a compliment. Let's hear about how your doing--comment to us via FB, IG, or twitter!

Sources:

Gwyer, Patrick G. (2017 May 21) Why a hug is so important for well-being. LinkedIn. Retrieved: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-hug-so-important-wellbeing-pat-gwyer/

Article: Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? (Alex Williams, New York Times)

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html

Article: Loneliness isn't inevitable – a guide to making new friends as an adult

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/30/how-to-make-new-friends-adult-lonely-leap-of-faith

SxSW: Starting Monday, August 6, 2018 we are asking for your vote in the SxSW panel picker as would like to present a live episode on Shifting: The Black Mom Reality. Check out our social media all month long to vote.

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Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio

Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

Episode 10: Black Surrogacy- Redefining the Norms

Surrogacy first went public in the US during the late 1970's. The surrogacy didn't involve a financial compensation, otherwise known as traditional surrogacy. A team made up of Noel Keane and Dr. Ringold introduced the first surrogacy clinic — Infertility Center — making history with artificial insemination. Surrogate pregnancies have doubled since 2015. We most often hear of other ethnicities becoming surrogates, and seldom in the AA community (not that it doesn't happen). Why is that?!? Most recently, Kim Kardashian delivered her third child, via a (young) Black woman surrogate. Today's topic will discuss about what it means to be an African-American surrogate and it's perception within our community.

Guest Momologist: Michelle Whitaker is a 29 year old wife, mom, and YouTube content creator who loves all things creative. Michelle's YouTube channel documents her family's homeschooling journey and her road to becoming a surrogate mother. Michelle has been married to her amazing wife for 8 years and they have a 7 year old daughter. When Michelle is not creating content for YouTube, she enjoys reading, self-care, planning and spending time with family.

Instagram: @the.mrs.whitaker YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNn_bInJhwJkGEnj66IHnNw

Sources:

Sanders, Cheryl. (1992) Surrogate Motherhood and Reproductive Technologies: An African American Perspective. Creighton Law Review. 25, 1707-1723; Retrieved: https://dspace2.creighton.edu/xmlui/bitstream/handle/10504/39970/82_25CreightonLRev1707(1991-1992).pdf?sequence=1

Steiner, Leslie Morgan (2013 Nov 25). Who Becomes a Surrogate? The Atlantic.Retrieved: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/11/who-becomes-a-surrogate/281596/

Surrogate Moms Online:

http://www.surromomsonline.com

Young, Yakira (2017 September 8) Kimye's Surrogate Has Officially Been Revealed, And She's a Young Black Woman. BET Online, Retrieved: https://www.bet.com/style/2017/9/11/kimye-s-black-surrogate-has-officially-been-revealed.html

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Twitter: @MMomology

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Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio

Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

July Photo Shoot Courtesy of: Tish Marie of Lace-N-80's

Episode 9: Black Families and Homeschooling

In the last 15 years, the number of black children in homeschool has doubled from 103,000 to about 220,000. Black parents cite a number of reasons for homeschooling children, including concern over peer pressure and drugs at school -- but increasingly, they are also citing school-related racism as a reason to keep students at home (PBS News April 2018). Mel and Tash will chat with an African-American Mom on how she is balancing homeschool, philanthropy, and self-care.

Disclaimer: Each state and country regulates homeschool differently. Be sure to check the laws on your state as it pertains to homeschooling.

Guest Momologist: Jennifer Henry, Blogger – Milkbrainblog (dot) com, Founder, The Village Co-op DFW for Homeschoolers, and Parenting Staff Editor at BlackLove.com

Bio: Jennifer Henry was born and raised in Dallas, Texas. She studied psychology and biology at Howard University where she fell in love research and her college sweetheart husband. She went on to a doctoral program at New York University's Center for Neuroscience. She earned a Masters of Philosophy in Neuroscience, leaving early to focus on her passion for being a Mom. As a Mom, she discovered a passion for early childhood education and built a award winning private school using her NeuroNurture curriculum.

After 14 years in the Northeast, she returned to Dallas. She blogs about her Mom-ventures at MilkBrainBlog.com/, is the founder of The Village Co-op DFW for Homeschoolers and is the Parenting Staff Editor at BlackLove.com . She is an active member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. She and her big boy volunteer at Meals on Wheels and push for criminal justice reform with Faith in Texas. She also serves on the Alumni Board of Directors and the Intercultural Council at the Hockaday School. She loves to travel and eat, practices natural living, is a sometime-vegan, cloth diapers, makes baby food, homeschools and is living her best life with her college sweetheart boyfriend of 15 years and husband of 9 years, Jeff. They share their love with their gorgeous little boys Jackson and Jones, ages 7 and 9 months.

Follow her on Instagram at @MilkBrainBlog and follow her blog at MilkBrainBlog.com

Sources:

Homeschooling in the United States

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeschooling_in_the_United_States

National Homeschool Association

https://nationalhomeschoolassociation.com/

National Black Home Educators (NBHE)

http://www.nbhe.net/

10 Black Homeschool Moms You Should Follow

http://www.matermea.com/blog/10-black-homeschool-moms-you-should-follow

Meet Us at the Sat. July 21 Birth Texas Convention @ Arlington, TX Convention Center

Birth Texas proudly hosts this year's event focused on the intersection of pregnancy, birth, parenting and activism within our communities; we are happy to pair with Abide Women's Health Services, who will receive a portion of proceeds raised at the event.

With a family-friendly atmosphere for consumers, birth professionals and advocates alike, the Birth Texas Convention is about centering community and activism in improving maternal healthcare and maternal and infant outcomes in the state of Texas.

The event features: • Family Fair • Art of Birth Exhibit • Professional and Consumer track schedule of speakers • Meet-and-greets with special guest speakers • Giveaways • FREE childcare

Get your free ticket: http://birthtexas.org/communitytickets/

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Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio

Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

Episode 8: The Rise of Black Women and Gun Ownership

Upon the inauguration of President Trump, we have seen an obvious surge in African American gun owners, and one can question if the increase we've noticed has been trending upward over the last 30 years. The most dramatic increase we've seen are those of women. Black women are among the higher rated individuals of gun ownership. In addition to political uncertainty, there are other reasons behind an individual owning a gun, from personal safety to self-empowerment. We will discuss the rise of Black women gun owners changing the narrative.

Guest Momologist:

LaTasha Oliver is the Chief Operator for Body By "O" and Body By "O" Tactical. She began her endeavors as a personal trainer with the organization in December 2014 alongside her now husband Oliver Kingdom. Her experience as a firearms instructor began in August 2016. LaTasha is still in training to become an effective and proficient firearms instructor. Her current title with Body By "O" Tactical is Range Safety Officer (RSO). Her role in Body By "O" operations include the developing and evaluation of programs on both the fitness and firearms side. Her focus in the organization is geared toward the Black women coming for services. LaTasha is also a currently enrolled in the graduate Social Work program at University of Texas at Arlington. She specializes in macro social work and is scheduled to graduate in December 2018. Her passion for the well-being of the Black community, with emphasis of Black women drives her work with Body By "O" and her future plans as a macro practice social worker.

LaTasha is originally from Shreveport, Louisiana, born and raised. Business opportunities for Body By "O" and her choice in graduate school influenced her decision to leave Shreveport and move to Dallas. Outside of work and school, LaTasha spends time doing things she loves like reading, cooking, date nights with her husband and being a tv junkie. LaTasha has been with her husband for 4 years and married 2. She recently celebrated her 2-year anniversary, 34th birthday, and son's 10-year birthday all in the month of June.

Contact Body By "O" and Body By "O" Tactical

https://www.bodybyotactical.com/

Phone: 318.458.9515

Email Body By "O" Fitness: [email protected]

Email Body By "O" Tactical: [email protected]

Twitter: @BodyByO318 Insta: @BodyByO318 FB: @BodyByOTactical

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Qj_zUaY07vSgF6BHnhv2A

Sources:

Brenan, Meagan (2018, May 2) Ten Takeaways About Americans' Views of Guns. Gallup Retrieved https://news.gallup.com/opinion/polling-matters/233627/ten-takeaways-americans-views-guns.aspx?g_source=link_NEWSV9&g_medium=SIDEBOTTOM&g_campaign=item_1645&g_content=Ten%2520Takeaways%2520About%2520Americans%27%2520Views%2520of%2520Guns

Cooper, W. (2017) The Black Women's Defense League Taking Aim at Racism and Misogyny. Vice TV. Retrieved: https://video.vice.com/en_us/video/taking-aim-at-racism-and-misogyny-with-the-black-womens-defense-league/5891656300edf2d24cc481d4

Gun Owners of America (2018, June 30) Retrieved https://gunowners.org/

National Rifle Association (2018, June 30) Retrieved https://explore.nra.org/interests/womens-interests/

Morin, Rich (2014, July 15) The demographics and politics of gun owning households. Pew Research Center. Retrieved http://pewrsr.ch/1n7lBV5

Pratt, Timothy (2017, April 27) More black women are learning to use guns: 'this is a movement, and it starts now'. The Guardian. Retrieved: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/27/black-women-guns-classes-racism-trump

Syaad, Lydia (2011, October 26) Self-Reported Gun Ownership in U.S. Is Highest Since 1993. Gallup. Retrieved https://news.gallup.com/poll/150353/self-reported-gun-ownership-highest-1993.aspx

Young, Ryan (2017 February 2) African American Gun Club says membership surged in Trump Era. CNN. Retrieved: https://www.cnn.com/2017/02/27/us/african-american-gun-club-trump/index.html

Continue the Discussion, Download, Subscribe, Rate, Like, Follow Us, and Share on:

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Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio

Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

In the age of social technology, sexual predators like Harvey Weinstein, R.Kelly and Bill Cosby are no longer hiding their "Hollywood celebrity insider" behavior. It's disgusting and has been acceptable behavior. Women are now more empowered about themselves, and their future to hold men accountable for their behavior. Mel and Tash will discuss how they plan to hold their sons and the men in their lives accountable.

Sources:

Bowen, Alison (23 January 2018) Raising Boys Who Respect Women. Chicago Tribune. Retrieved from: http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/parenting/sc-fam-parenting-boys-respect-women-0130-story.html

Levy, Deandre (2017 April 27) Man Up! The Players' Tribune. Retrieved from: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/deandre-levy-sexual-assault-awareness

Me Too (20 June 2018) Retrieved from: https://metoomvmt.org/

O'Malley, Harris (2016 June 27) The Difference Between Toxic Masculinity and Being a Man. The Good Men Project: The conversation no one else is having. Retrieved from: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-difference-between-toxic-masculinity-and-being-a-man-dg/

Salie, Faith (2017, December 1) How to Raise a Sweet Son in an Era of Angry Men. Time. Retrieved from: http://time.com/5045028/raising-boys-faith-salie/

Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance. Teach Consent. (20 June 2018) Retrieved from: http://www.teachconsent.org/#new-page

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Twitter: @MMomology Insta: @mahoganymomology FB: @MahoganyMomology Email Us: [email protected] Itunes & Google Play Music: Mahogany Momology Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

Episode 6: Free Range Parenting Remember the days where you use to play in the park unsupervised? Now we call it Free Range Parenting. What are your thoughts on this parenting style vs. being a Helicopter Mom?

Sources:

Berger, L.M, et al. (2006) How does race influence judgements about parenting? Focus, 24 (2), 24-30. Retrieved from: https://www.irp.wisc.edu/publications/focus/pdfs/foc242e.pdf

Coleman, Korva (2018 April 1) Utah's 'Free Range' Parenting Law Protects Parents So Kids Can Roam, Retrieved from: https://www.npr.org/2018/04/01/598630200/utah-passes-free-range-parenting-law

Larsen, Elizabeth Foy (2012, July) Benefits of Free Range Parenting, Retrieved from: https://www.familycircle.com/teen/parenting/discipline/benefits-of-free-range-parenting/

Zamosky, Lisa. Free- Range Parenting Retrieved from: https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/free-range-parenting#1

Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) Retrieved from: http://www.freerangekids.com/faq/

Article: 'Free-Range' Parenting's Unfair Double Standard

https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/557051/

Free Range Parenting Laws per the State

http://www.freerangekids.com/laws/

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Twitter: @MMomology Insta: @mahoganymomology FB: @MahoganyMomology Email Us: [email protected] Itunes & Google Play Music: Mahogany Momology Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

Episode 5: Mel and Tash will discuss the topic of stress between partners. A recent discussion suggest husbands stress women out more than their children.

Areas we will cover:

• Do you find this to be true? why/why not?
• Identifying the roles/dynamics of husband and wife in the family.
• What characteristics are increasing the likelihood of a mom becoming stressed?
• Did you know?-- Men are reporting an increase in stress levels similar to their spouses. What's contributing to this cause?
• Supplemental effects of the stress--strained relationships?, separation/divorce? Heart disease?
• Strained relationships: the mental stress can be just as detrimental as the physical. One can argue it leads to physical ailments. Women are likely to carryover this mental stress than men.
• Stress provides ill effects on our bodies. That negative energy is known to increase the likelihood of heart disease, ulcers, and a host of other ailments.
• Practical solutions to combat stress

Sources:

Blades, Lincoln Anthony (2017, March 13) Why Black Men Need to be Emotionally Involved in Relationships. Ebony Retrieved from http://www.ebony.com/love-relationships/relationships-men-emotions

Hon, Jeremy (2018, March 2) Studies Show That Husbands Stress Women Twice As Much As Children. Retrieved from https://www.providr.com/study-husband-wife-stress/

Marital Stress Affects the Hearts of Husbands and Wives Differently (2006 March 15). Retrieved from:

https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=1720791&page=1

Parker-Pope, Tara (2010, June 19) Now, Dad Feels as Stressed as Mom. New York Times Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/weekinreview/20parkerpope.html

Continue the Discussion, Download, Subscribe, Rate, Like, Follow Us, and Share on:

Twitter: @MMomology Insta: @mahoganymomology FB: @MahoganyMomology Email Us: [email protected] Itunes & Google Play Music: Mahogany Momology Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

Episode 4: This broad topic encompasses strained relationships between black mothers & daughters, and suggestions in moving forward in developing positive relationships with our own children and possibly mending our parental relationships (if we can).

Sources:

Everet, J.E., et al (2016) A Qualitative Study of the Black Mother-Daughter Relationship: Lessons Learned About Self-Esteem, Coping, and Resilience, Journal of Black Studies (47)4, 334-350

The Strained Relationship Between Black Mothers and their Daughters.

http://madamenoire.com/1026019/the-strained-relationship-between-black-mothers-and-their-daughters/

8 Toxic Patterns in Mother-Daughter Relationships

Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201502/8-toxic-patterns-in-mother-daughter-relationships

Dear Black Women: Mothers and Daughters Need to Stick Together

Link: http://www.ebony.com/wellness-empowerment/mother-daughter-relationships

Mothers and Daughters: Are You Overstepping Your Boundaries?

Link:http://www.oprah.com/relationships/advice-on-mother-daughter-relationships-and-boundaries/all#ixzz5HaTe653v

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Twitter: @MMomology Insta: @mahoganymomology FB: @MahoganyMomology Email Us: [email protected] Itunes & Google Play Music: Mahogany Momology Episode Sponsor: LEXIFOR Applying LEXIFOR Hair Butters to your hair keeps your hair hydrated and moisturized for multiple days. With all natural chemical free ingredients, LEXIFOR's your answer to achieving healthy manageable hair. If you are ready to take your natural hair journey to the next level and achieve moisturized hair that thrives, go to www.lexifor.com to order your LEXIFOR hair butter today. Use offer code MOM20 for 20% off your first order. Instagram: @lexifor_llc Facebook: @LEXIFOR Recording Studio: Greenville Ave Recording Studio Website: http://www.greenvilleaverecordingstudio.com/

Episode 3 Topic: Mel and Tash will be joined by Jennifer Sarduy, Board President of Birth Texas on Maternal Healthcare Among Black Women. Hear about how you can change your birth experience and what we as mothers can do to change and challenge the narrative for black women to reduce the mortality rate in the black birth experience.

About Birth Texas & Birth Texas Convention:

Birth Texas is a 501c3 non-profit consumer advocacy organization dedicated to reducing maternal and infant mortality, in the state of Texas, through consumer awareness and outreach. More information can be found on their website at http://www.birthtexas.org

The 2018 Birth Texas Convention is thrilled to welcome special guests renowned midwife Shafia Monroe, as well as Life contributors Nev Schulman and Laura Perlongo! Saturday, July 21 in Arlington, TX | Register, Vendor, and/or Sponsor: https://birthtexas.org/convention/

This is a great conference for mothers who want to search for a different birth experience and birth practionners.

Sources/References:

• Childbirth is killing black women in the US, and here's why https://www.cnn.com/2017/11/15/health/black-women-maternal-mortality/index.html
• For Serena Williams, Childbirth Was a Harrowing Ordeal. She's Not Alone. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/11/sports/tennis/serena-williams-baby-vogue.html
• How training doctors in implicit bias could save the lives of black mothers. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/how-training-doctors-implicit-bias-could-save-lives-black-mothers-n873036
• Black Mother's Alliance: A Black women-led cross-sectoral alliance. We center Black mamas to advocate, drive research, build power, and shift culture for Black maternal health, rights, and justice. Website: https://blackmamasmatter.org/
• Texas Medical Association/Maternal Mortality and Morbidity: https://www.texmed.org/MMM/

Episode Hashtags: #MahoganyMomology #BlackMaternalHealthcare #BlackMamasMatter

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Episode 2 Topic: Mel and Tash will talk with Sh'Niqua Alford, LCSW, Owner/Therapist of Restoring Serenity Counseling Center, PLLC on how to talk to your children and identifying the signs among partners.

Momologist Discussion Points:

1. What is abuse?
2. What are the statistics among black women and children compared to their counterparts: is there any data for that?
3. What's the concern/rationale behind not reporting
4. What signs should we be looking for if we have a romantic partner?..or family members?
5. How do you talk to children about the signs? What age is appropriate?

Find a local domestic violence shelter: https://www.domesticshelters.org/ About Restoring Serenity Counseling Center, PLLC Sh'Niqua Alford is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of Texas (license #41470). She holds a Master of Social Work - University of Texas at Arlington and in 2005 recieved her Bachelor of Social Work - Texas Christian University. Over the past 13 years, Sh'Niqua has worked in a variety of social work/clinical settings:

• Supporting and mentoring pregnant/parenting teenagers to overcome barriers and achieve success as both a parent and a student.
• Employment in the child welfare system; helping children in foster care and their families overcome trauma, abuse, and neglect.
• Working at local psychiatric facilities to help children, adolescents, and adults receive proper mental health treatment.
• Adjunct social work professor; focused on teaching social work students to become strong, competent, and ethical social work leaders.

Where to find Restoring Serenity Counseling Center, PLLC 1201 N. Watson Rd. Suite 295 | Arlington, TX 76006 817-989-6336 https://www.restoringserenitycounseling.com/ Twitter: @salfordLCSW Pintrest: @restoringserenitycounselingcen Facebook: @restoringserenitycounseling Email: [email protected] Continue the Discussion, Rate, Like, Follow Us, and Share on: Twitter: @MMomology Insta: @mahoganymomology FB: @MahoganyMomology Email Us: [email protected] Itunes & Google Play: Mahogany Momology