Make it Stop: A Bad Music Podcast

The 20-teens (20-tens?) have come and gone, and as we ring in the New Year we'd like to pay tribute to the worst that 2019 had to offer. Along with the requisite collection of washed up has-beens and plastic bubble gum that you've come to expect from our yearly wrap up, the end of the decade also provided us with a bounty of white rap dorks, cheesy novelty acts, and some monumental missteps from some of our faves. It didn't seem possible, but 2019 was easily the worst of all the worst ofs in Make It Stop history and it's not even close. So count down to midnight as the ten artists we've chosen give a brand new meaning to watching the ball drop.

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Twas The Night Before Christmas, and all through the pod

Four creatures were cringing, at a hacky rap clod

Afroman was hung over, and recorded some dreck

In hopes that dumb stoners would send him a check

Your hosts were both rustled, all smug in their dread

While idiot songs got stuck in their heads

And Dahlia on Mic 1, and Liv on Mic 2

Joined both of yon hosts to discuss how this blew

A Colt 45 Christmas arose such a clatter

We're certain ye Stoppies that nothing is badder

And we heard him exclaim, through a slovenly drawl--

"Merry Christmas to bitches, now lick on my balls!"

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Imma tell you like this whodie, if you're really about that pretty bitch shit, that gutta shit, that fifty, if you're still selling jerry and you know you're doin' numbers, 28 wit' a ladder, still on that FIGARO. If you're wet like wonton soup, if you look like Jesus, if you've got 50,000 bitches on your dick, if you're bitch mob task force all day, real pink bandana shit, KRIS HUMPHRIES.

If you know the BasedGod, you already know what it is. It's time for an episode on Lil B. The king of all memes. The BasedGod. Brandon McCartney. An unstoppably prolific enigma of an MC, Lil B has memed his way into the public spotlight again and again -- whether through his highly effective curses on NBA players, the various public beatings he's taken from fellow rappers, or his provocative album titles like "I'm Gay", Lil B captures the imaginations of the people.

Comedian Zach Armentrout, host of The Mendoza Line comedy show, joins us to discuss Green Flame, one of the eighteen mixtapes that Lil B released in 2012. In typical Lil B fashion it's lo-fi, dashed off, with seemingly no thought put into it, and yet somehow, someway, Mike is all about it. Listen as Zach and Heather try to reason with him to no avail.

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Raised in her sister's shadow and shunned and ridiculed by the public, Ashlee Simpson was put through a lot for a 19 year old. Her public image took a massive hit following a disastrous SNL lip synching gaffe, leading to a number of hit pieces, a high level of media scrutiny, and the merciless booing of her performance at the Orange Bowl. Was she really that bad? Did she deserve to be dragged through the mud? Local comedian and infamous American Idol alum Janet McNamara (seriously, look it up) doesn't think so. This episode finds Heather and Mike butting heads with their guest, who just may be the most devoted living Ashlee Simpson fan. We dive into her 2003 debut Autobiography, in which she tried to set herself apart from her bubble gum sister with transgressive elements including references to pet play, breathy pseudo-Courtney Love moans, and - gasp - electric guitars!?!?!? It's enough to make any pop aficionado's head spin.

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We're the ones listening to bad albums out there. Not you, not you, and not you. This week it's all about a true patriot and visionary, Boston's favorite son, revisionist 9/11 savior and vicious hate crime non-apologist Mark Wahlberg. Specifically, his stint as a New Kids-affiliated shirtless (and sometimes pantsless) white rapper named Marky Mark. Sean Sullivan of the Wahlberg enthusiast podcast Two Boys in a Balcony joins the fray as we listen to not one but two albums by The Funky Bunch. Selecting the most choice cuts, we get into his storytelling skills, his family values, and most importantly, his blinding of a Vietnamese man. Wahlberg, who again, never apologized for blinding a Vietnamese man as a youth, has rightfully disavowed his rap career, despite the fact that it propelled him into fingering Reese Witherspoon on a roller coaster in Fear a mere three years later. Is he correct in his assessment of these albums? Is there any value to be found in them? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe go fuck yourself. Part of the Pantheon Podcasts Network.

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Even though they'd go on to extend their careers another three decades, The Rolling Stones were already Old Bags of Bones when they released Dirty Work in 1986. Mick Jagger was content to sod off and work on his questionable solo project, Charlie Watts was so zonked on heroin the band needed to hire session drummers to finish the record, and the rest of the band was so sick of each other that they all retreated into the world of oversized neon pink blazer afficionada. Comedian and Stones Superfan Jere Pilapil joins us to discuss this opiate hangover set to tape, and we dive into the band's past, present and future to figure out just how severely it tarnished their legacy. What's the worst offense? The vastly inferior cover of R&B legends Bob & Earl's "Harlem Shuffle"? Their labored take on dub reggae? Or Keith Richards' terrifying lullaby? The one thing that's certain is that we can't... and I can't stress this enough... get no satisfaction on this week's Make It Stop.

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This week we're joined by Chris the Elder and Chris the Younger from the We'z Talkin' Weez 2 Thee podcast. We tap into their boundless Weezer knowledge to try to make sense of 2009's Raditude. Rife with cringe lyrics, questionable genre bending and incompatible collaborations, Raditude oozes unbearable corniness. We discuss the once mighty rock giants' fall from grace and gradual transformation into a childrens' novelty rock act. We discuss Rivers Cuomo's questionable proclivities. Mike in particular is wildly excited to finally be able to nerd out about Weezer. Our love is a heartbreaker, say it ain't so, Stoppies. Part of the Pantheon Podcasts network.

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Blow out the candles on all your Frankensteins, because it's Halloween. Time to get spooky you cowards. This time around we've got friend of the pod and recovering goth Brittni in the house to talk Marilyn Manson. We tackle his maligned 2007 release EAT ME, DRINK ME, an album which delves into his ephebophilic on-again-off-again abusive relationship with a barely legal Evan Rachel Wood in disgustingly lurid detail. When he's not caterwauling about their yucky sex stuff he's either doing baby bat madlibs, weirdly flexing about being responsible for a woman driving off of a cliff, or firing off shots at all the haters and imitators. All of this over tepid, boilerplate alt rock compositions care of a wildly overworked Tim Sköld. In all honesty this episode was supposed to be spooky in an ooky kooky kind of way, but it ended up being straight up depressing and truly horrifying. It turns out Manson is a real monster, he doesn't just play one on MTV. Stoppie discretion is advised.

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Ignored during their prime and largely forgotten today, mid-aughts scene starlets Millionaires pioneered a brazenly sexual and depraved style of pop music which smashed the glass ceiling of doing songs about snorting coke off hard dicks. Local drag superstar and 'trash pop' superfan Sham Payne joins Mike and Heather to drink a shameful amount of Four Loko while discussing two of Millionaires' EPs and analyzing their impact on music and culture. We also talk a lot (and I mean a LOT) about cum. Were Millionaires vapid and talentless hucksters who skated by on their good looks and perfectly teased coifs, or were they brave and important liberators who pushed boundaries and inspired the next generation of female shock artists like Ke$ha? Surely there is great value to society in lyrics like, "middle finger in the air if your pussy's tight." No, we're serious, there totally is.

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Dionysus. The Backdoor Man. Mr. Mojo Risin'. The Lizard King. The Mythical American Poet, Jim Morrison. That's one person you won't be hearing on today's episode of Make It Stop. Comedian Ethan Marsh from Old School Game Show joins the fray this week to discuss The Doors' Full Circle. The album was released less than a year after Jim Morrison's entry into the 27 club, with keyboardist Ray Manzarek and guitarist Robbie Krieger assuming the roles of the dual frontmen, and they wasted no time transforming the band from the dark and moody psych blues outfit everyone knew them as to a cornball schmaltz novelty act. Your intrepid hosts lose their damn minds as they follow the downward spiral that is Full Circle, pulverized into babbling heaps by the confounding tonal shifts and outrageous East-Meets-West racism. As if there was ever any doubt, this episode settles once and for all that the rest of The Doors absolutely loathed Jim Morrison to the core, and Full Circle is a poorly choreographed dance upon his grave.

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