Make it Stop: A Bad Music Podcast

This week on Make It Stop we're talking about The Big Baryshnikov himself, Shaquille O'Neal. The world belonged to Shaq in 1996. He had just jumped from the Orlando Magic to Kobe Bryant's LA Lakers, with whom he would go on to win three of his four NBA Championships. He had shocked the world with his ostentatious Reebok Shaqnosis sneakers, which featured a psychedelic black and white vortex design, and which remain coveted by hardcore sneaker heads today. And he was in the midst of a flourishing rap career, as the only NBA player ever signed to a multi-million dollar major label record contract. Parlor Sports bartender and man about town Garvey Salomon joins us to discuss Shaq's 1996 opus You Can't Stop The Reign. Interscope rolls out the red carpet for The Big Shaqtus on this record, with lush production from DJ Quik, Poke and Tone and Easy Mo Be, and features from the likes of Lord Tariq, Mobb Deep, Jay Z and even the Big Poppa himself, Notorious B.I.G. But are all these bells and whistles enough to distract from Shaq's lackluster lyrical chops? Is DJ Diesel himself really as "hooparistic freakaristic" as he claims to be? And why does he insist on calling himself "Enrico Consales"? The world may never know.

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Strap on a decorative banjo and get out yer picklin' jars, cuz we're prepping for a musical apocalypse on this episode of Make it Stop! The target of our most recent ire is platinum selling, Superbowl ruining, troll-serenading superstar Justin Timberlake's latest gasp at relevancy, his 2018 mountaineering misfire, Man of the Woods. Featuring a cacaphony of ill-placed musical references and clumsy metaphors, this bloated 16 track mistake finds the uncooked ramen-headed heartthrob of yesteryear reinventing himself as a modern day Grizzly Adams. Burning down this forest of bad ideas with us is none other than local comedian Tooky Kavanagh, who has performed multiple stand up sets dedicated to the scientifically accurate claim that JT isn't just a mediocre white man profiting off Black culture and doing Janet Jackson dirty, but he's also a common marsupial. Listen in to hear which marsupial and much more on this episode of Make it Stop: A Bad Music Podcast!

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Open up the fucking pit and pick up some fucking quarters, it's hardcore week on Make It Stop. Or rather, it's rap metal by way of hardcore, as we sit down with local comedian and hardcore lifer Ryan Shea to talk about straight edge vegan stalwarts Earth Crisis and their painful 2000 crossover attempt Slither. Ryan walks us through the finer points of the hardcore lifestyle, Mike tries to pretend he was anything more than a cowardly poser during the genre's peak, and we all get deep into the lore of the early 00s Boston Beatdown scene. Probably too deep. We're probably going to get beaten up over this one. Oh well.

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We're justifiably in a position that we'd rather not be in listening to this album. But the cream will rise to the top, ooh yeeeah. Macho Madness, yeeah, has got more to offer than Mike and Heather think that Macho Man's got, yeeeeah, and let him tell you somethin' right now, cards stacked against Macho Man Randy Savage's album Be A Man, let him say it yeeeah, let him say it out loud and let him point to this week's guest Jenelle Valencia of the Boston League of Wicked Wrestlers, The Macho Man Randy Savage is not happy with Make It Stop, yeeah. He is the cream in the World Wrestling Federation and there is no doubt about it, yeeah, you Stoppies know that he's the cream of the crop!

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Strap on in #stoppies, because it's time for another hefty dose of White Nonsense(TM) and for this one we're bringing in the big guns. Local rapper and professional fuck abandoner Brandie Blaze joins us this week to take aim at Lil Dicky, perhaps one of the most overhyped and underhanded rapper we've ever discussed on this show. Lil Dicky's brand of aw-shucks faux-self-deprecation is the hallmark of this bloated 19-song flaccid handie of an album, whose culminating message seems to be white people can try on hip hop as a costume and make millions as a shortcut to a comedy career. Isn't that just fucking hilarious? But it's even more wild when Ms. Blaze pulls back the veneer and exposes Dicky for the fraudulent, privileged huckster he is. Plus hear all about the songs on Brandie Blaze's bangin' playlist as an added bonus for making it through this monstrosity with us. Trust me--you don't want to miss it!

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Fire up the engine of your old pickup, grab a cold beer and head on down to the cornfields. Throw the radio on and watch as an endless parade of blue jean clad farmhand girls dance modestly in the headlights. Stay away from those downtown boys because they are the devil incarnate and we'd like nothing more than to steal their women, take them out to the cornfields in our old pickup, grab a cold beer, throw the headlights on and watch them dance the night away in their blue jeans to our favorite song, playing on that old terrestrial radio. Local comedian and podcaster (of Dead Last Podcast) Brandon Vallee joins us and he's just swigging a beer, listening to the radio in his old pickup. And we're gonna drive on down to them old cornfields I'll tell ya. Throw the headlights on and dance the night away. We're listening to Luke Bryan's Crash My Party. It's got everything. Songs about trucks. Songs about beer. Songs about cornfields. Songs about jeans. Songs about kissing girls. Songs about dancing in headlights. And dangnabbit what did we say about them dang downtown boys? Stay away from 'em we said dang it!

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Ho ho ho #stoppies, we're hoooome for the holidays! We've all been very bad boys this year and have been rightfully cursed with another lump of musical coal in our collective stockings, Smash Mouth's desperate 2005 Christma$ ca$h grab, 'The Gift of Rock'. Joining us to unwrap this precious 'gift' is our very own family, including the youngest Dunn brother Alex, "Dad for the People" Paul Dunn, and in lieu of Heather's actual blood relative we bribed our friend Brian to perform the role of her dad, because that makes about as much sense as this album does! Anyway, it's enough to bring shame upon our extended family and yours, as we hitch up our sleigh and roll merrily along through strained and soulless christmas covers, awful appropriative patois, and a hilariously detailed 'behind the music' history of the band Smashmouth courtesy of the Dunn Research Conglomerate. It's enough to make you throw a whole loaf of bread at Steve Harwell's forehead, which means it's a whole heckuva lot of fun. Merry Christmas!

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Part 2 of 2. Check out part 1 here! 

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