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What comes to mind for you when you hear the word, Conflict?

For many, it's things like: avoid, fear, stress, war, anxiety, arguments, etc.  A few think about some positive aspects like resolutions, problem solving, innovation.

No matter what your perspective on conflict, this episode can help you use your go-to response effectively plus learn to stretch into new ways of responding to conflicts.

Exploring the Thomas-Kilmann Model of Conflict Management, Lisa shares discoveries of her own journey of learning about this framework and the value of applying it in her life.

Here are some resources to further explore the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Framework plus other approaches to effectively responding to conflict:

• Take the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI) Assessment (Lisa Tilstra/Make Life Less Difficult has no affiliation with this site or the authors of the TKI)
• Read more about the TKI Framework and see a graphic of the Model

Podcast Artwork by Emma S. Burdock.  Follow Emma on IG: @emmasb_art

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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Today I talk with Anna Sparks about the book, Professional Troublemaker:The Fear-Fighter Manual by Luvvie Ajayi Jones.

I love reading and I love discussing the books I'm reading and hearing what others think.  So, when I told Anna about my idea of including conversations about books on my podcast, she volunteered and suggested this book.

In addition to discussing Professional Troublemaker, there are a number of other books mentioned.  They're listed here:

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
• Radical Candor by Kim Scott
• Clarity and Connection by Yung Pueblo
• This American Life "Good Guy Discount"

More about Luvvie Ajayi Jones:

• Luvvie's Website
• Follow Luvvie on Instagram
• I'm Judging You book

More about Anna Sparks:

• LinkedIn

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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My conversation today is with Kelly Kienzle, the founder of Open Circle Coaching.  Kelly shares pieces of her journey including the loss of her father in the midst of COVID, the deep challenges that exist within long term healthy relationships, and learning to be fully present with herself and be attentive to her own self-care so she can truly be there for others.

Kelly  provides leadership coaching and facilitation to individuals and teams to improve organizational performance.  She believes that by strengthening self-awareness and widening perspective, a leader can learn to see scenarios from a new angle that uncovers the possibility for greater productivity, creativity and overall fulfillment.

Kelly works with emerging and growing leaders to achieve growth in their professional lives.  She supports their discovery of new mindsets and their experimentation with new behaviors, thus accelerating their career development.  She helps all of her clients build skills in self-identified areas including effective communication, building trust, navigating change, team management, leadership presence and vision-setting.

Clients work with her in both one-on-one coaching sessions and highly interactive team workshops.  Her company also designs and delivers leadership development programs for organizations investing in their human capital.

Connect with Kelly:

• Kelly's Website: Open Circle Coaching
• Read more by Kelly at Open Circle Coaching Views

Referred to by Kelly:

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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– Maya Angelou (from Shannon's website)

My guest today is Shannon Cochran-Yzquierdo of  Coaching Courage.  Coaching Courage works with leaders, teams, and organizations to reframe the way they see themselves.  Its services include leadership, career, & mentor coaching, strategic communications consulting, facilitation, and motivational speaking.

Shannon is passionate about inspiring and motivating leaders to embrace their courage as they transition into their best selves. Her clients build and strengthen their “courage muscle” and find increased awareness around their own behaviors, which supports their journey of transformation into a courageous leader. Shannon’s use of situational role-play and direct communication are her key strengths. 

She supports and empowers women, minorities, and members of the LGBTQ+ community to strengthen their leadership capacity.  She is a blend of Hispanic and Caucasian heritage, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and an active volunteer with the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, where she voluntarily shaves her head each year to raise money and awareness for children’s cancer research.

• Coaching Courage, LLC Website
• Blog post: The Onion Story 
• Shannon's Personal St. Baldrick's Page.  There is a link to a video about Emily's journey after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. She just graduated from college and is doing fantastic! There are also some photos from different events at the bottom of the page and children who Shannon shaved in honor and in memory of. 
• Listen to Shannon as a guest on the Transformational Leadership for Transformational Times Podcast
•  Courageous Leadership in Action : No One Said It Would Be Easy, a dynamic workshop conducted by Shannon and co-instructor, Jessica Robledo.

Resources:

• The Trevor Project: 24/7/365 support in the US
• Trevor Space: International Digital Support Community for LGBTQ+ young people
• Befrienders Worldwide: Find a helpline by Country
• Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: PFLAG.org
• Suicide Hotlines by Country
• It Gets Better Project:  The It Gets Better Project inspires people across the globe to share their stories and remind the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth that hope is out there, and it will get better.
• Human Rights Campaign
•  Sage USA: Advocacy for LGBT Elders
•  Matthew Shepard Foundation
• Out & Equal Workplace Advocates

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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My guest today is Darcie Milazzo, Founder of the Penn Cannon Group, an Executive Coach, and an Agent of Transformation.

Darcie Milazzo is dedicated to developing leaders with a commitment to make a positive difference in the world.  As a coach, consultant and higher education executive, she supports higher education institutions, its innovators and creatives in the successful pursuit of game-changing initiatives.

Darcie has served as the Associate Dean for Strategic Initiatives at Georgetown University, a  co-creator of the Institute for Transformational Leadership at Georgetown University and served as one of its first co-directors.  At The Ohio State University, Milazzo was principal investigator for $4.75 million in annual grant funding. 

Milazzo began her career in Washington, DC, gaining professional experience in corporate training, product development, and best practices research at The Corporate Executive Board.  

Darcie earned a Master’s degree in higher education administration from the University of Michigan and a bachelor of science in organizational communication from Ohio University. She holds executive certificates in Organization Development and Leadership Coaching from Georgetown University. She is a member of the International Coach Federation. She is also certified to administer and interpret Myers Briggs Type Indicator. She is a board member for the Georgetown Institute for Transformational Leadership Network. Darcie currently leads the Penn Cannon Group, a global leadership development consultancy based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Since 2013, Darcie, her husband Matthew and two sons have lived in the north hills of Pittsburgh. On Pittsburgh, she shares "It's a city we truly love, with a community we admire and a place we can contribute. We are home." Penn Cannon has a dual meaning. First, it is derived from her sons' middle names, inspiring its work on behalf of future generations. And second, the names themselves come from two of the places that hold deep personal meaning for her; Pennsylvania and Cannon Beach, Oregon.   

Website: Penn Cannon Group
Email: [email protected]

Books we discussed:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry
• Healing Collective Trauma by Thomas Hübl and Julie Jordan Avritt
• Rising Strong by Brené Brown

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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In this episode I share about my journey of learning about self-compassion.  Beginning to practice self-compassion has changed my life more than all the other self-help books, seminars, conferences, and workshops I've attended (and there have been a lot!).  

I share two main ideas:

• Introduce the idea of self-compassion and how it can help us be more compassionate with others.
• Share a strategy combining self-compassion and minimalism to make lasting change.

Compassion: literally means “to suffer together.”  From researchers, it’s defined as “the feeling arising when you’re confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” – Greater Good, UC Berkeley

 When you listen to your friend who’s upset and disappointed about not getting the job, you see they’re suffering and you feel motivated to relieve that suffering so you say things like:  I’m so sorry you didn’t get the job.  You worked so hard for it and I think you deserved it!  Another opportunity will come along.  You’ll get a chance again!”

But what do you say to yourself when you're suffering?  Often we say negative things to ourself.  We beat ourselves up in ways we'd never do to a friend or loved one.

While it’s socially acceptable to have compassion for others… what about for ourselves?

Dr. Kristin Neff helped me discover compassion is extremely powerful when directed inward, and I’ve never been the same since.

Self-compassion is turning the understanding of suffering toward oneself.  Ironically, this isn’t selfish. It’s just as compassionate as turning my understanding of suffering to my friend.

It opens the door for me to recognize when I’m suffering, when I’m going through a difficult time, when I need support.  

And, I’ve found that the more I have compassion for myself, the more I have compassion for others!  Truly.

Resources:

• Book: Self-Compassion: the proven power of being kind to yourself by Kristin Neff
• Self-Compassion assessment and other resources
• TED Talk: Kristin Neff
• Blog: Self-Compassion and completing our goals (The 30-day challenge that took me 105 days!)

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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Susie Csorsz Brown is my guest today.  Susie and I met in Colombo, Sri Lanka, where we both live as part of the US Foreign Service Community.

Susie, a Parent and Wellness Coach, has a wealth of knowledge and experience  helping families focus on healthy living and managing transitions.  In addition,  she's got expertise in moving around the world, handling medical emergencies and advocacy situations for her family, plus the challenges that are innate to repeated international moves with kids and pets.

Sharing a deeply personal story for the podcast, Susie tells of the loss of her twin sister and the journey she's been on since to process the grief and try to understand the complexity of it all.

I'm deeply grateful for Susie's willingness to share this piece of her journey and know it will touch many lives and hearts.

More about Susie:

Parent and Wellness Coach Susie Csorsz Brown, helps families focus on healthy living, and offers support for families and parents in transition. With three children of her own, and a Foreign Service spouse since 2000, Susie coaches from personal experience dealing with family issues from the stress of relocation, school issues, medical advocacy situations, pregnancy and unaccompanied tours, as well as family angst, especially when associated with relocation. Susie believes all families need support, and offers  sessions for families and small groups, tailored to help families live their best life.  

Connect with Susie:
Websites: 

•  Healthy Expat Parent: Wellness for Parents and for Families
• The Healthy Expat Parent Recipes:  So many amazing recipes that your kids will like!
• The Big Purple Blob: Coaching and Counseling for Expats

Email: [email protected] 


www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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Evelyne Fallows joins me today for a great exploration of personal growth, relationship management, and finding oneself in the midst of the demands of others.

Evelyne and I met in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 2014, thanks to our dogs, Ruby and Sierra.  Our friends has spanned multiple international moves and continues to grow and expand even though we live on different sides of the globe. 

About Evelyne:

French by birth, American by marriage, expat by choice, global citizen by heart, Evelyne is a conference interpreter turned fitness trainer turned fiction writer and screenwriter.

She is an avid museum goer, amateur kick boxer, chocolate addict, wine taster foodie and mostly, a world-traveler.

She loves and lives drama (on and off Broadway), people say she's funny and charming but sometimes impatient.

After 20 years living and traveling around Europe, Asia and the Middle-East, Evelyne lives now in New York City.

Join Evelyne, in English and French as she takes you along her journeys!

Evelyne's books:

• The Polar Bear and the Palm Tree
• Les Aventures de Mademoiselle Annie, vol 1
• Vignettes of Life
• Broadway au Pays des Cigognes, Les Aventures de Mademoiselle Annie, vol 2

www.evelynefallows.com

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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My guest today is Michaela Lawrence Jeffery.  Michaela and I met in 2007 and I unknowingly prophesied both our futures! 

Michaela shares her wisdom and insights on life and the journey of becoming a mother, including having two miscarriages and what helped make those losses a little less difficult. 

Michaela finds great contentment sipping a warm beverage in a local coffee shop while she works on a piece of writing.

She’s currently trying her hand at essays.

Michaela is  married and has two kiddos. She’s a pastor, has an enormous stack of unfinished and unread books, and loves to be outside.

You can find her online at wordhabit.com

Remember, be a bunny!  "The Rabbit Listened" by Cori Doerrfeld.

Blogs by Michaela:

•  (Mis)carriage: Processing Grace 
• All my children
• Mother's Day: is it for me?

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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Brenda Harrington is the CEO and founder of Adaptive Leadership Strategies, LLC. Her reputation for helping clients navigate both obvious and obscure leadership challenges has resulted in leaders throughout the country and around the world contacting her to help them:

• Increase influence across their organizations 
• Boost productivity and engagement
• Develop creative solutions to complex challenges
• Align vision among stakeholders
• Create high-functioning, high performing in-person and remote teams
• Develop effective expatriate and reintegration strategies to mitigate business disruption

Prior to establishing the consultancy in 2011, she was the Executive Vice President of a real estate consulting and management firm. As the organization’s senior leader for operations, she provided oversight for Human Resources, Accounting, IT and Consulting. Brenda has also held management positions with AT&T and Mobil Oil Corporation.

Brenda helps each client find their authentic leadership style. When needed, she is able to access a variety of assessment tools to reveal professional growth opportunities and potential blind spots to inform the development of engagement objectives.

Areas of Focus 

• Influential and authentic leadership
• Succession planning and occupational transitions
• Individual contributor to manager transitions
• Cross-culture and diversity skill development 
• Global Mindset
• Expatriate integration and reintegration

Connect with Brenda:  https://adaptiveleadershipstrategies.com


www.makelifelessdifficult.com

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