Make Life Less Difficult

Send us a message!

Russ Watts joins me again today as we discuss our personal journeys and experiences with EMDR -- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. 

EMDR is known as an effective treatment for PTSD.  What Russ and I have both learned, however, is that there are significant benefits to be gained from Reprocessing even seemingly insignificant memories from earlier in life.

We are not therapists, psychologists, or academicians.  We simply want to share our own stories and hope that others will be intrigued and look into EMDR treatment if any of our stories or experiences resonate.

Dr. Francine Shapiro is the psychologist who discovered this treatment and we reference her book, Getting Past Your Past, throughout our conversation.  Getting Past Your Past is a fantastic resource to better understand EMDR.

Read more here.

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

Before closing the door on 2021, I like to reflect on the year.  I've developed a four-step reflection process and I share that in today's podcast.

The steps:

1. Acknowledge you regrets
2. Identify ONE thing you're proud of accomplishing
3. Shift your focus to PROGRESS, not perfection
4. Be kind to yourself!

Listen to the full podcast for examples and explanations of how this process helps gracefully close out the year and prepares you for starting 2022!

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

Many times when I talk about stories, people say to me, "I don't have a story to tell." 

My response is, "You don't have A story to tell, you have a MULTITUDE of stories to tell!!"

Every single human has amazing stories.  You may not think so (about yourself), but I promise, it's true!  You may not realize how amazing your stories are because you are living in them.  Sharing them with others may help you realize that others will be amazing and inspired and even in awe of you.

Poem:
Instructions for Living a Life by Mary Oliver

Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.


If you are considering telling your story, I'd love to hear from you.  Reach out any time to [email protected].  

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Matthew Thomas-Malani. 

Matt and I went to high school together and reconnected a few years ago on Facebook when I shared a recommendation for the movie, Boy Erased, staring Lucas Hedges.

Matt and I both grew up in religious communities that taught being gay was  wrong -- a sin.  As I have declared I no longer subscribe to those teachings, I've had people from that community respond quite harshly and critically.  Imagine how much more difficult it is for someone to come out as gay in such an environment, as was Matt's experience.

I'm so grateful for Matt's willingness to share pieces of his coming our journey.  Today, Matt is happily married to Tony Brooks.  Matt and Tony live in a carriage house in Pennsylvania with their three dogs -- Thacher, a treeing walker coonhound, and the beagle brothers, Franklin and Zebulon.  Matt is a voracious reader, mostly of non-fiction and he loves good movies and certain sitcoms (with irreverent humor).  He loves to cook and bake, although he says he's a better cook than baker.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their coming out journey, here are some resources for support and encouragement. 

Connect with Matt on Facebook.

Books:

• It Gets Better
• Now That You Know: A Parents' Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesibian Children, by Nancy Hayward
• Is It a Choice? by Eric Marcus
• God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines
• Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives, by Walk Odets

Support and Resources:

• The Trevor Project: 24/7/365 support in the US
• Trevor Space: International Digital Support Community for LGBTQ+ young people
• Befrienders Worldwide: Find a helpline by Country
• Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: PFLAG.org
• Suicide Hotlines by Country
• It Gets Better Project:  The It Gets Better Project inspires people across the globe to share their stories and remind the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth that hope is out there, and it will get better.
• Human Rights Campaign
•  Sage USA: Advocacy for LGBT Elders
•  Matthew Shepard Foundation
• Out & Equal Workplace Advocates

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Rashmi Zimburg.

Rashmi is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach.  Drawing on her education and experience, Rashmi helps her clients make lifestyle changes and choose health-promoting ways that produce real and lasting results. 

Rashmi shares pieces of her story from growing up in India, moving to the USA for university, working in NYC, and moving around the world with her husband who is a diplomat and their two children.

Her story is woven with wisdom, authentic sharing, and deep self-awareness.

More from Rashmi Zimburg:
"Having lived in many different countries, spanning five continents, I truly feel like a citizen of the world. Within me, there is a deep appreciation for human diversity, cultures and traditions. However I know that at a core level we are all the same, facing the same challenges and on the same search for happiness and fulfillment.

"As I moved from country to country, with my diplomat husband and two children, I tried to fit into each new and unfamiliar place. I pretended to myself that the inherent challenges of making each new place a home, for my family and myself, was easier than it actually was. This eventually had an impact on my health. One day I woke up and on a routine visit to the doctor, I was told that I was gravely ill.

"This diagnosis served as a catalyst for change. I had to face the fact that somewhere along the way, while I was focused on taking care of my family and my social obligations, I had stopped taking care of 'me'.  Realizing that something had to change, I embarked on the task of making some serious lifestyle changes. The first and most important step was the complete overhaul of my diet. Food, I believe, has the power to heal, transform and connect all of us. Through diet, along with other important internal shifts, I am in the process of healing myself. I now have a clearer sense of purpose, beyond the role I play in my family. Food has always been the prism that has allowed me to navigate my way through diverse cultures and customs.

"As a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, my mission is to support you in clarifying and creating your version of a fulfilling life. I will stand by you as you put yourself on the path to finding your purpose. Forget about restrictive diets and counting calories. I will guide you to tap into your body and learn how to nurture yourself. Are you ready to finally shift your reality so you can come from a place of strength rather than depletion?"

Connect with Rashmi:

• Website
• Instagram

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Jennifer Adams Murtaugh.

Jen and I went to high school together and reconnected a few years ago, both amazed at the crazy, difficult experiences life tossed our way since becoming adults.

Today, Jen is happily married to Jonathan and lives in southern California.  But it's been a long and at times extremely difficult journey that has led to this point.

Please note, in this conversation we touch on topics of abuse, rape, and sex.  We ask for your to care for yourself first and foremost if these are sensitive subjects for you.  If there are young children present, you may want to listen later or with headphones.

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Paula Widerlite.  Her story reminds us that we never know what someone has been through on their journey to success.  You can't judge a book by its cover... and you can't know people by their titles.

Paula  is the former Chief Strategy Officer of Luminis Health, a $1.2 B not-for-profit integrated health system. Prior to that, she was the Vice President of System Strategy for 22 years at Adventist HealthCare headquartered in Gaithersburg, Maryland. She has led countless strategic planning processes over the course of her 40-year career in non-profit health care in the Washington, DC region. Since July 2021, she has consulted with the National Post-Doctoral Association on its strategic planning process as well as the Universities at Shady Grove. She continues to assist Luminis Health with its strategic planning and business development efforts.

Recently, Paula became a certified leadership coach after completing the Georgetown University’s Executive Certificate program. As a trained and skilled coach, she helps her clients address challenges that are barriers to their continued professional growth and development. Combining her skills as an executive and leadership coach and facilitator, she assists executive women who are members of Chief in their career and leadership growth and development. She holds an EQ-i assessment certification, a tool that helps individuals understand their abilities and tendencies that impact workplace effectiveness and performance.  She is a trustee on a local K-12 private school and in that role has been an active participant in the strategic planning process for the educational institution. She has been an active community member serving on multiple boards including Leadership Montgomery, the Lourie Center for Children, the Jewish Social Services Agency, and the Ginger Cover Continuing Care Retirement Community. 

Currently she is leading the Lourie Center Champions for Children women’s leadership circle. She understands the challenges facing non-profit and membership-based organizations. Some of her recognitions include community service and women in industry.

Paula's website: Widerlite Coaching
Connect with Paula on LinkedIn

Resources:

• To Work or Stay Home - How to get it right because there's no do overs by Paula Widerlite (article)
• Leadership Art by Max Degree (book)
• The Leadership Challenge by James M. Kouzes & Barry Z. Posner (book)
• What happened to you by Oprah Winfrey & Bruce Perry (book)
• Caste by Isabel Wilkerson (book)

www.makelifelessdifficult.com 

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Matthew Gamble. 

Matthew is an Inner Alignment Coach.  He holds a doctorate degree in Transformational Leadership and is passionate about helping others find spiritual alignment.

Matthew and I met around 2007/2008 when we were both working as pastors.  We pop into each other's lives every few years and it's always fascinating to see how life unfolds for both of us. 

In our conversation, Matthew shares pieces of his story into and then out of the traditional religious space.  We talked about the power of curiosity, the expanding use of psychedelics and entheogens in the modern western world, and the continual journey of deepening one's love of self, which leads to a deepening love of others. 

Get in touch with Matthew:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website: Magnetize Global

Resources:

• Roland Griffiths: TEDx - Psilocybin and the Experimental Mystical Experience
• James Fadiman: Author of Your Symphony of Selves
• How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan
• Falling Upward by Richard Rohr
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Julie Salganik of Avance Global Consulting. 

In our conversation Julie shares parts of her story of immigration from the prior Soviet Union to the United States of America when she was four years old.  She shares how that journey shaped her and her work, the generational differences in the immigration experience, and the deep impact of stories -- both the traditional unchanging stories of her family and the changing stories of growth and becoming. 

Julie has spent over 20 years advising, equipping, and coaching leaders working with and through others to flourish and deliver exceptional results. She helps clients navigate differences with others and manage change, complexity and uncertainty.  Julie specializes in working across cultures and has worked extensively with leaders in North and South America, Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, across industries, functions, levels of seniority and other divides.

While the majority of her clients come from life sciences, high tech, and professional services, she also works extensively with startup and non-profit leaders.  Her work combines facilitation and team effectiveness, leadership coaching, and training and leader development.

Facing a big challenge? Looking at a big opportunity? Getting stuck?  Connect with Julie to hear how she can help. 

Find Julie on LinkedIn.
Send Julie an email: [email protected]

Resources recommended by Julie:

• Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The danger of a single story (TED Talk)
• Lori Gottlieb: How changing your story can change your life (TED Talk)
• The Good Immigrant: 26 Writers Reflect on America by Nikesh Shukla (Book)
• Immigrant Daughter: Stories You Never Told Me by Catherine Kapphahn (Book)
• Catfish and Mandala: A Two-Wheeled Voyage Through the Landscape and Memory of Vietnam by Andrew X. Pham (Book)

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Send us a message!

My guest today is Arianne Rice.

Arianne is an Episcopal priest, Certified Daring Way Facilitator, and Leadership Coach. She tells me she used to live by the mantra "You are always the problem you are trying to solve." Then she decided she was a person, not a problem.

Now she supports herself and others by cultivating and enriching our capacities to "Love who you are and who you are becoming." She does this as the pastoral leader in a worshipping congregation, as a facilitator of The Daring Way™ based on the research of Brené Brown, as a Leadership Coach, and, as a speaker, storyteller, and writer. 

You can read and watch her work and connect at ariannerice.com


Additional resources shared from Arianne:

• The contemporary Christian who supports my faith and spirituality is Richard Rohr, specifically his teachings in the book  "The Universal Christ: Another Name for Every Thing" and the podcast.
• I am grateful for the work of Maria Popova (brainpicking.org now reborn as The Margilian) She has compiled a seemingly inexhaustible and cross-referenced online library of perennial wisdom that spans disciplines, traditions, and time.
• The work of Brené Brown is available on many platforms, so the best place to start is at her site - brenebrown.com

www.makelifelessdifficult.com

Support the show

Make Life Less Difficult
~   
Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra