Make Your Damn Bed

It takes time to get comfortable in unfamiliar frequencies, but once you do, you may find yourself more comfortable than you imagined you could be.

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.

Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.

Core questions to ask yourself:

What's going on? What are you trying to address? is there something specific you'd like to accomplish? or integrate more or less of into your life? Is there anything you know you need to change but have been resisting or avoiding? What is a recurring (core) issue that pops up in your life?

What does my current daily life look like? If it's inconsistent or your daily routine varies from time to time, outline a few "typical" days. Set alarms for every 15-60 minutes to check ins to see where your time is actually goes.

What brings you happiness or makes you feel alive or connected to humanity? Brain dump. Include minor things.

BRAIN DUMP:

Skills (you have currently): What am I good at?

Resources (you have currently): What are some of the good things in my life?

Problems (you have currently): What are the not so good things in my life?

Can any of the resources or skills you currently posses help you solve or cope with the problems?

What would you say to a loved one with the same problem?

How would an optimist approach this situation?

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.

Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.

How to (convince yourself to) get anything you want:

1. Identify your goal. (ideally experience based)
2. Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions.
3. Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards.
4. Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with friction and reduce it when possible.
5. Curate your life around the most optimistic outcome working out perfectly.
6. Give yourself enough time to properly adjust to a new version of "comfortable". Build tolerance for patience and change.

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.

Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to (convince yourself to) get anything you want

PREVIEW:

1. Identify your goal. (ideally experience based)
2. Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions.
3. Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards.
4. Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with friction and reduce it when possible.
5. Curate your life around the most optimistic outcome working out perfectly.
6. Give yourself enough time to properly adjust to a new version of "comfortable". Build tolerance for patience and change.

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.

Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If it’s not a matter of my physical location, or my circumstances, it comes down to it being a matter of direction. 

“Simply beginning” is a great sentiment, and an effective practice when possible, but in my case, it’s often better in theory. Most days I don’t know where to begin, let alone how. So, when that happens I try to follow my curiosity. I let tiny cravings speak more loudly if they feel worth pursuing. It doesn’t have to be productive or sufficient or even important. It just has to be interesting enough to convince me to start. To stop scrolling and do literally anything else. 

There’s no right or wrong method here that works all the time, there are just techniques that can sometimes break the cycle of consternation that often comes from a lack of direction and access to the internet. 

Quoting Bourdain again here, “Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.”

So, instead of looking for clarity, I will continue to experiment with the options I can think of until one of them works this time, and next time I’ll try again and again until I find what works for that version of myself

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Because that’s the thing for me: the idea of almost everything scares me but the practice often leaves me room to surprise myself. 

Anthony Bourdain said something like, “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park, enjoy the ride.” And I fuck with that heavy. 

Like most people, I do better when I have something to look forward to, outside of my daily chores and needs and expectations. When I have small goals that feel fun and interesting and exciting to work towards, life feels lighter. It provides me with space to experience more enjoyment in getting my base needs met, and I don’t dread everything nearly as much as I do when I have nothing to look forward to. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've been trying not to let myself identify with the pain but it's easier said than done. it's easier when you fill your time with so much good that there is less space for the painful patterns to persist.

"if you're trying to love yourself, you already do. where do you think the trying comes from?"

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our emotions are houseguests not permanent residents. I am the ocean.

The Hannah Ro Writes Quote

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(re-release) If you’re struggling to know whether or not you’re falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure you’re not settling. 

Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships?

Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships?

Do you resent the amount of time or energy you’ve put in? Or do you focus more on the amount you’ve grown and changed together through that energy?

If you find yourself focusing more on the things you’ve lost in your relationships (which are things you can never recover) rather than the things you have gained? (which is growth you can never lose) than you may be staying out of obligation rather than desire - which is a surefire way to build resentment and toxicity in your relationships, if you haven’t already. 

Realize that past investment is exactly that. Your time and your energy and your efforts cannot be recovered - no matter what happens next.

Ask yourself, if you were starting over today, would you choose this person again? I do that regularly when I clean out my closet and decide what clothing gets to stay - as well as with my relationships and friendships to really ensure that I am continuously choosing people who are best for me and where I would like to go. 

Then imagine what the future will likely look like if things remain as they are right now, with your person. What do you feel about that? Would anything NEED to change on your end or on their end to make a happy union more likely?

Think about a time when you have left a relationship in the past. Is that a relationship you wish you had back? Probably not. Making the decision to leave is often the hardest part. But cutting your losses now will be easier than cutting even higher and broader losses in the future. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(rerelease) People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldn’t give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties. 

I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with “but we’ve been together for so long” or “I’ve put so many years into this,” or and “we’ve worked so hard at it,” or “We just have so much history” 

The key to not falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy is by being real with yourself about the reality of your current state and remember that ALL sunken costs cannot be recovered.

Forget the past instead of dwelling on what used to be or how hard you worked, instead get real about the current costs and current benefits - and if the current costs aren’t outweighing the current benefits or looking like they’re going to realistically change in the foreseeable future, you gotta cut your losses. 

Remember as humans, we have a tendency to fear losses more than we expect gains - so we must keep that in mind when we find ourselves clinging to things that we’re far better off without. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rejection feels brutal because society taught us our value is in being chosen. What if we deconstruct that premise, together?

It's about relief, not romance. It's about validation, not love.

"If no one is going to arrive and pick you, you make yourself impossible not to keep. You become useful." - Meredith

THE SOURCE: https://aftertheclouds.substack.com/p/the-fantasy-of-being-chosen-and-how

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.