Making Love Today

As an interracial gay couple living in an extremely conservative state, Andres and Phillip don't exactly fit the stereotypical mold of most of the married couples that they see around them. But instead of spending too much time just trying to blend in, these two are learning to embrace what makes their relationship uniquely special and being comfortable with who they are. It's not always easy living in a world where the templates for how a relationship is "supposed" to work doesn't necessarily apply to you, but Andres and Phillip are working to build their own unique happiness. 

While both originally from Utah, Andres and Phillip first met through a dating app while both attending grad school in rural Oregon. What started as a seeming happy coincidence has grown into a happy marriage. Listen in as they discuss how their religious upbringing connects them, some of the often-overlooked challenges of being in a non-heterosexual relationship, as well as... Andres' Fuego? 

Biographical Info: 
-Phillip is a PR/Marketing Coordinator for a museum, and Andres is a Marriage and Family Therapist

-They have been together for going on five years

-Check out www.makinglovetoday.com to learn more about this couple as well as to read their statement on Pride Month, and what Pride means to them as a couple. Follow us on Instagram @rekindle.love.today or on Facebook at fb.me/rekindle.love.today. 

All relationships require sacrifice. Blending two lives requires give and take by both people to decide where to live, what Netflix shows to watch together, etc. When children are added to the equation, those sacrifices multiply seemingly exponentially. So when Meagan and Nick, to well established young professionals, decided to get married and then have kids, something (or someone) had to give! Well, in truth, they both had to give, and still do! Meagan and Nick are a great example of how when both people sacrifice for the common good, a beautiful relationship can result! 

Meagan and Nick met on a blind date, set up by a mutual friend. Both being in their early 30s, neither were strangers to meeting new potential dating partners. With expectations set appropriately low, they were both pleasantly surprised that their friend was able to get things so right for both of them! Several years later with a child, they open up about the ups and downs of leaving behind your well-established life in the hopes of something better! They discuss merging households, making career sacrifices, the care of a child with health issues, and more!

-Check out www.makinglovetoday.com to learn more about this couple. Follow us on Instagram @rekindle.love.today or on Facebook at fb.me/rekindle.love.today. If you have a couple to recommend for the show, please contact us at [email protected]. 

Anne and Patrick discuss how Melissa and Robert use the relationship skill of asking great questions in order to strengthen their relationship! Despite coming from extremely different backgrounds, Melissa and Robert's openness and honest curiosity have helped them to make their relationship thrive! For a more in-depth explanation of this skill and more suggestions on how to incorporate it into your relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. 

Relationship Challenge of the Week: For one week, flag the great questions that you either ask or are asked as they happen. Verbally flag them by saying something like “that was a great question” or “thank you for asking that”, even if you're talking to yourself when you do so. Alternatively (or in addition), write the questions down as you notice them so they are easier to consider and come back to later. Want to take things a step further? Practice focusing on not just asking great questions but responding to the questions in an open and responsive way. 

Follow us on Instagram at rekindle.love.today or on Facebook at fb.me/Rekindle.Love.Today 

Know a couple you'd like to have featured on the podcast or want to get in touch with us for any other reason? Let us know at [email protected]. 

Melissa and Robert in many ways come from extreme opposite backgrounds. Melissa is white, Robert is Black. Melissa comes from an upper-middle-class upbringing in the suburbs, Robert comes from a poor upbringing in the city. Melissa's family members are Republican, Robert's family members are Democrats. When they first met, Melissa was an accountant with multiple college degrees, Robert was a high school graduate. Despite their differences, and often because of their differences, Melissa and Robert have built a beautiful and unified family together, with their two young children.

Melissa and Robert first met at church in Colorado. Robert was smitten! Melissa was not. But despite a bumpy beginning, Melissa finally came around and the two of them have been inseparable ever since! In this episode, they discuss the challenges of creating a relationship out of such different backgrounds. They tackle such challenging issues as racial heritage, in-laws, and financial struggles. 

Biographical Info:
-Melissa is an accountant and Robert is a stay at home dad

-They have two children

-Check out www.makinglovetoday.com to learn more about this couple. Follow us on Instagram @ rekindle.love.today or on Facebook at fb.me/Rekindle.Love.Today

In this final episode of Love in the Time of Corona, Patrick and Anne discuss the relationship challenges that we're likely to face as things start to open up again post-lockdown. When will things return to normal? Will they ever return to normal? What sort of strain will this uncertain have on us and our relationships? They talk about this and more! 

While it's certainly exciting for the world to be starting to open back up again, there are still plenty of new and unique challenges to navigate! The good news is that we can take all of the relationship skills and techniques that have been taught in this bonus series and apply them to the new difficulties and uncertainties in life. Things might still be a bit scary, and the pandemic is far from over, but by using the relationship advice shared to us by the many therapists through this mini-series, we can find ways to make our relationship an anchor and source of calm in the storm! 

"Say thank you!" It's a phrase all parents tell their children countless times. It's been ingrained in all of us that saying thank you is a necessary part of being a good person. However, if our outward displays of gratitude never extend beyond repeating two culturally ingrained words, is it actually doing us any good? Does it matter if I'm actually grateful when I say I am, or is it fine if I'm just good at faking it? Who really ends up being benefited most from genuine acts of gratitude: the giver or the receiver? Shouldn't my partner just know that I'm grateful? Why do I actually have to say that I am?

In this episode, Anne and fellow therapist Rebecka Parker tackle these questions and more as they discuss how we unleash the power of gratitude in enhancing both our relationships, but also our own individual wellbeing. It turns out that the benefits of gratitude go far beyond what you might expect. It can influence our mental, emotional, and physical health as well as improving just about every aspect of our relationship. Perhaps more than just about anything else, gratitude properly applied has the power to change lives for the better, starting with your own. 

Introducing, The Man's Space: a new recurring bonus series specifically geared toward what it means to be a man in a modern relationship. 

Society in general, and pop culture in particular, does not look kindly on the relationship skills of most men. For every positive husband and father figure depicted on TV for in movies, there are at least a dozen Homer Simpsons and Fred Flintstones. Is that how most men really are in relationships? Oafish and clumsy at best, and emotionally detached and uncaring at worst? In this series we hear from Dr. Matt Brown, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping men understand their critical role in relationships and allowing them to live emotionally open and healthy lives. 

In this episode Matt and Anne take a close look at modern masculinity and how it's changed over time, and what women often don't understand about their male partners!

Society has perpetuated this romantic notion that our partner needs to be our everything and our sole source of support and happiness. In practice, we all need a broad support network of friends and family to truly get the mental and emotional help that all of us need. With social distancing and stay-in-place orders widespread, many of us are finding our typical robust support networks reduced down to a single person: our partner. 

In this episode, Anne and fellow marriage and family therapist Andres Brown discuss what level of support from, and to our partner is healthy. They give practical tips and advice on how to find the balance between finding much-needed support from our partner and also growing our own inner strength and resilience. They outline what we all can do to lift ourselves up when our partner isn't able to (and probably shouldn't) give us the support that we think that we need.  

Has the emotional distress of living through a pandemic turned you and those around you into emotional porcupines? Do you find yourself unintentionally lashing out at your partner in ways that you don't normally do and vice versa? Has everyone in your household put up their emotional defenses while working through the stresses of social distancing? 

If so, you just might be a porcupine! 

It's natural and normal in times of stress and uncertainties for us put up our emotional defenses, similar to the quills of a porcupine. However, in order to not get hurt, we often end up unintentionally harming those we want to be the closest to right now. In this episode, Anne and Patrick discuss five practical ways we're able to address our porcupineness and find a comfortable and healthy way of emotionally connecting with others during difficult times.