Making Love Today

Is your spouse, partner, or another loved one on the front line of the COVID-19 pandemic? Do you live with a medical professional, police officer, grocery store worker, or other essential worker who is putting themselves (and potentially you and your family) at risk of infection on a daily basis? If so, you bear a special sort of stress and worry that may feel like it isolates you from society even more than typical social distancing guidelines. 

Also, if so, you are not alone. 

In this episode Anne speaks with social worker, therapist, and military wife Stephanie Black about the challenges that come along with being a front line spouse or partner. Stephanie speaks from both her professional experience as a therapist, and her personal experience of a husband who has served tours of duty in warzones. This is a must-hear episode for anyone who is either in a front line relationship, or who is wanting to support someone else who may be in that situation!  

Anne and fellow therapist Shannon Tappana discuss how adaption and creativity can help us overcome our moments of fear, sadness, or just feeling "stuck." Especially now with our world sometimes feeling like it is falling down around us, our primitive fight or flight instincts can kick in and make us feel like we only have a very limited number of options. Anne and Shannon discuss how taking a deep breath and looking for a third (or fourth or fifth) option can both mentally and physiologically give us the lifeline that we need to survive during chaotic times. 

In this episode of the mini-series Love in the Time of Corona, Anne and Patrick discuss how the grief cycle is currently impacting all of us. No matter who we are or what our circumstances, we have all experienced some form of loss as a result of the COVID 19 pandemic. Those feelings of anxiety, sadness, denial, and even joy and happiness are all part of the process of adjusting to something strange and often scary that is currently happening to all of us. Anne discusses some of the tools we can use to help us ride the waves of our emotions through this tumultuous time. 

Anne talks with fellow therapist Dr. Michael Whitehead about how families and couples can effectively manage the added anxiety that comes along with living in a pandemic. 

Anne and Patrick introduce a new Making Love Today mini-series, Love in the Time of Corona. They discuss how the current pandemic is affecting relationships, and how Making Love Today plans to take a break from its regularly scheduled couple interviews to delve deep into what we can do to safeguard our relationships in difficult times. 

The mini-series will include conversations with Anne and Patrick, interviews with therapists, and bringing on couples to talk about their current experience with romance in quarantine. 

If you have any suggestions for topics for this mini-series, please leave us a note at makinglovetoday.com, or on Facebook at Rekindle Love Today, or Instagram at rekindle.love.today. 

Anne and Patrick discuss how Josh and Whitney demonstrate the relationship skills of self-transcendence and emotional expression/engagement. For a more in-depth explanation of these skills and more suggestions on how to incorporate them into your own relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. 

Relationship Challenge of the Week: For one week keep an emotion journal. Pay attention to what you are feeling (both positively and negatively). Record what your emotions are, how strong they are, and then try and identify where those emotions are coming from. If you feel comfortable with it, share what you write with your partner, especially the positive emotions. 

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In a society that is absolutely dominated by strict cultural gender norms and expectations, it is typically easiest just to conform to those expectations and live life accordingly. Josh and Whitney, however, are not ones to just go with the flow! With Whitney working as a high powered attorney and Josh owning the title of "Mr. Mom," these two don't hold back on giving real insights into the realities of life with reverse gender roles. 

Josh and Whitney first met as Whitney was getting ready to head off to law school. Knowing that he didn't have much time to spare, Josh jumped on in with both feet! After only a quick dating period, the two of them were married and off to begin their new life together halfway across the country in law school. They discuss adding children that weren't necessarily planned, going against cultural norms, and being Mr. Mom! 

Biographical Info: 
-Whitney is an attorney and Josh is a stay at home dad

-They have been together for eight years

-They have two children, Annie (6) and Tess (3)

-Check out www.makinglovetoday.com to learn more about this couple. Follow us on Instagram @rekindle.love.today or on Facebook at fb.me/Rekindle.Love.Today

Anne and Patrick discuss how Maren and Mark demonstrate the relationship skills of acceptance and flexibility. For a more in-depth explanation of these skills and more suggestions on how to incorporate them into your own relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. 

Relationship Challenge of the Week:  When you catch yourself vilifying your partner, or complaining, or wishing things were different. Take those feelings of frustration and validate them, then set them aside for a minute. Think about what personality quirk or core belief might be behind that behavior. Now try and figure out how that quirk or belief might be a strength in another situation. Bonus: see if you can leverage that quirk or belief for the benefit of the relationship. How can that aspect of their personality be a strength rather than a weakness or an annoyance for your relationship? 

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Being in a relationship where one partner is required to work long hours can be challenging. Living far away from your support network while raising three kids can also be challenging. Doing both of those first two things while also navigating the complexities of extremely differing personality types? Maren and Mark say bring it on! It's not always easy, but this couple makes the most of what can sometimes be an extremely trying situation to find the solutions that work for them. These two are a great example that sometimes being flexible and having a strong commitment to one another can go a really long way!

Maren and Mark first met in college. She was younger than she'd like to admit, but he had a hard time taking no for an answer. Several years later, with three young children and living several states away from family, they have learned how to balance their relationship with Mark's demanding job as a corporate attorney. They discuss the challenges of building a relationship when the job often comes first, adjusting to life in Houston, Texas without a built-in support system, and whether or not going to bed angry is actually a bad thing. 

Biographical Info: 
-Mark is a corporate attorney and Maren is a stay at home mom

-They have been together for ten years

-They have three children, India (5), Calvin (2.5), Ava (9 months)

-Check out www.makinglovetoday.com to learn more about this couple. Follow us on Instagram @rekindle.love.today or on Facebook at fb.me/Rekindle.Love.Today

Anne and Patrick discuss how Chad and Sunnie demonstrate the relationship skill of perspective-taking. Anne discusses how important it is to be able to see situations, both things that are difficult or exciting, from the point of view of your partner. This helps to avoid misunderstandings, get both partners on the same team as one another, as well as fosters mutual respect. For a more in-depth explanation of this shill and more suggestions on how to incorporate it into your own relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. 

Relationship Challenge of the Week: Think of something that is causing your partner grief. Think about how you would respond in your partner’s place. Now do some perspective-taking and try to understand how your partner is thinking about what is happening and how they are feeling. If you’re stumped, it’s okay to ask. 

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