Making Midlife Magic

Your life is your art. It sounds so pretty, doesn't it? We're artists, shaping the canvas of our life. It sounds so good, but we have art wrong.

To embrace our life as art, we have to get real about art as well as about our lives. Art, like life, is full of self-doubt and failure.

In this episode, I highlight three powerful truths about art that we can use to see our lives differently. These powerful truths increase self-compassion, self-trust, and let us see the beauty in our messy, imperfect lives, as they are right now.

Take a listen and let me know what your art is! I'm at [email protected] or dm me on social media.

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

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This episode focuses on a thought I'm calling a "dead mouse" thought. You know how cats bring you dead mice as a gift, but you don't receive it as a gift? Our brain offers us thought like this. It's trying to help but it's not welcome help.

The thought is: It's my fault.

You might hear it when your spouse leaves you, or you get into a fight with your aging parent. You might hear it when your kids don't get along, or when you get a difficult diagnosis.

You might not hear, "It's my fault." You might think, "I should be more patient," "I should have taken better care of myself," or "If only I had paid attention sooner."

Our brain offers us this thought because it knows we like to feel in control and sometimes life feels very out of control. So it offers us this thought, which is not only very painful but also not helpful.

To counter this thought, we recognize our brain's desire for control and certainty, and give it more helpful thoughts that highlight our own courage and strength.

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

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Have you felt NRE (new relationship energy) recently?

Whether you're single or in a long-time monogamous relationship, fostering NRE with yourself is powerful magic. While sometimes we may think we don't know who we are anymore, NRE is a reminder that meeting someone new can be fun and sexy -- even if (especially if!) that person is you.

In this episode:

➡️ The power of non-romantic NRE

➡️ NRE as an antidote to feeling bored or stuck

➡️ How to activate curiosity about yourself

➡️ How excitement and nervousness tap into NRE

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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Do you ever feel invisible?

So many of us do, especially as we age. We can't get the bartender's attention, salespeople look through us. Our family thinks the toilet paper is magically replaced by elves in the middle of the night. Invisible.

And then we stop seeing ourselves. We no longer feel vibrant and complex. When I'm in this place, it usually means that I'm doing everything for my family and feeling unseen and unappreciated. I say, "I'm the mule," or "I'm Dobby [from Harry Potter], waiting for someone to hand me a sock." I think of myself like an animal or a mythical creature -- less human.

The antidote to this isn't to change the bartender, salesperson, or your family (although you can try). The antidote to feeling invisible as we get older is to embrace our own humanness. By increasing our tolerance for the hard parts of being human (eg, embarrassment, mistakes, mixed emotions), we let ourselves be visible. It's like a membership fee for the human club.

In this episode:

⭐ Why we need a visceral, felt sense of the richness of adult humanhood

⭐ How being invisible makes us less human

⭐ Why robots and AI aren't better at life than we are

⭐ How embracing mistakes as a membership fee for the human club increases our tolerance for them

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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So many people I love are feeling depleted right now. At these times, it can be challenging to know how to fill your tank.

In this episode, I offer three thoughts that make exhaustion worse, and how to counter them. I explain why we may want to stop talking about filling our tank and instead focus on where we can go with $5 of gas.

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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For this episode, I clicked the "explicit" button so I can swear. It's worth it to tell you this:

Sometimes your brain is an a**hole.

Realizing this has changed so much for me, so I have to share.

In this episode:

🎯 Why your brain can be an a**hole -- and why it's not a problem

🎯 How to use everything you've learned from toddlers to manage your mind

🎯 How to know whether your a**hole brain has the wheel, or whether your adult brain is driving the car

🎯 How embracing your jerk brain actually leads to greater self-compassion and love

Knowing when to listen to sh*t your brain says and when to ignore it is the superpower that lets you feel more in control and intentional about your life.

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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Do you sometimes want to get away from all of it, ditch your obligations and go back to a simpler time?

I do. Even though I love being a mom, spouse, coach, teacher, and friend sometimes I want to remember who I am outside of these roles.

If this speaks to you, you may want to rewild your life. The idea of rewilding comes from ecology -- removing human influences over a land and reintroducing native species of plants and animals. We're not going paleo and you don't need to eat nuts & berries (unless you want to), but finding ways to feed your inner nature will let you live a more authentic, satisfying life.

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

FB: facebook.com/rachelbaumcoaching

IG: @rachelbaumcoaching

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There are so many negative messages about getting older that it’s no surprise so many of us often feel bad about it. If you’re not convinced, go to the drugstore for a greeting card for someone over 50. You'll find lots of pictures of gravestones and sagging body parts. Is it any wonder we often feel so negative about aging?

So it's not surprising that we often live as if there's an alternative to getting older, as if we might be able to bypass this human experience and keep our wisdom but stay 30 forever.

The antidote to all this comes with one simple truth: Getting older is literally the best. Accepting this core reality makes so much possible.

In this episode:

🎯 Why seeing getting old as a "necessary evil" feels terrible

🎯 How accepting the reality of aging helps us to move forward

🎯 How a trip to the emotions buffet lets us see all the feelings we could have about getting older

🎯 Why wrinkles and gray hair are the best (but you can still dye your hair if you prefer it that way)

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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We've all heard of the bucket list -- the list of things you want to do or see before you die.

In this episode, I share my concept of the anti-bucket list. While the bucket list comes from the idea that life is short and experiences shouldn't be delayed, the anti-bucket list comes from the idea that we may live longer than we expect to. The anti-bucket list is filled with activities you would start if you knew that you'd live to 100.

Both the bucket list and the anti-bucket list have a part to play in shaping a meaningful and enjoyable life after 50.

In my life, the lessons of each list come from two of my grandfathers -- Grandpa Charlie who knew his childhood rheumatic fever might kill him and died at 50 and Grandpa Nat, who lived to 90 and never expected to.

In this episode:

➡️ Why our brains love the idea of the bucket list (hello, dopamine!)

➡️ Why we don't imagine living to 100

➡️ How envisioning another 3 or 4 decades of life changes how we think about our plans

➡️ The power of the 100 year plan, even if you don't see your 100th birthday

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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In this episode, I dive into the midlife crisis. Whether you're not there yet, in the middle of one, or well on the other side, this episode offers tools that will be useful. Because the midlife crisis is all about our relationship to time.

A midlife crisis can feel unbearable. Or, more to the point, sometimes in midlife, life feels unbearable. It's unbearable that some things haven't changed -- we feel stagnant, unfulfilled -- and that other things have changed that we wish hadn't -- we might lose our job, our marriage, or our parents. We often think the answer is to change our life, so we can stop having these feelings. But often, on the other side of those changes, we don't feel better.

The answer, surprisingly, is to embrace the midlife crisis as a turning point. In this episode, I share how to have a more useful midlife crisis. If you want to burn down parts of your life, you absolutely can -- but do it as a controlled burn, with intention, rather than reactively. The difference will change not only your midlife crisis, but your relationship to what comes next.In this episode: Two key thoughts that fuel the midlife crisis Why some people blow up their lives at midlife The switch that unlocks the power of the midlife crisis How the midlife crisis can help you enjoy the second half of your life, even though it feels terrible

In this episode:

🌟 Two key thoughts that fuel the midlife crisis

🌟 Why some people blow up their lives at midlife

🌟 The switch that unlocks the power of the midlife crisis

🌟 How the midlife crisis can help you enjoy the second half of your life, even though it feels terrible

🌟 If you enjoy the podcast, I'd love to have you in more of my world! 🌟

Website: coachingwithrachel.com

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