Making Polyamory Work

By Libby Sinback

What's Making Polyamory Work about?

Grounded in reality and untamed honesty, Libby Sinback tackles the hard questions about how to create and maintain authentic, loving and healthy nonmonogamous relationships.

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Making Polyamory Work episodes:

05.07.2024
Sexual Health When You're Positive with Courtney Brame
Something Positive for Positive People: https://www.spfpp.org/ SPFPP Podcast: https://www.spfpp.org/podcast Herpes Stigma Virtual Conference in May: https://www.spfpp.org/offerings/p/conferences Courtney's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
04.30.2024
Offer or Request?
Libby discusses the distinction between offers and requests in relating and how important it can be to make sure you're saying what you actually mean. Kai Cheng Thom's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaichengthom/?hl=en Spectrum of Consent: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kvYW4eSVKRuwUt5Mc-DnCyNVzvA036f8/view?usp=sharing Marcia Baczynski on Desire Smuggling: https://askingforwhatyouwant.com/desire-smuggler/ 27...
04.23.2024
Navigating Asexuality with Aubri Lancaster
Libby talks with AASECT-certified sexuality educator Aubri Lancaster about asexuality and aromanticism. Aubri's website: https://acesexeducation.com/ Aubri's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/acesexeducation/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
04.16.2024
Is Hierarchy bad?
Libby shares her thoughts about debate about whether hierarchy is bad or wrong in polyamory. Additional reading: Lola Phoenix - the Hierarchy Polyamorous People Don't Talk Enough About: https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/the-hierarchy-polyamorous-people-dont-talk-enough-about/ Ready for Polyamory - Is there a Problem with Hierarchy https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy Poly.Land...
02.20.2024
Unmet Needs in Polyamory
Most folks practicing nonmonogamy accept that no one person can meet all their needs. And yet, sometimes it can be challenging when a new partner starts meeting needs that haven't been met by an established relationship. In this episode Libby...
02.13.2024
Seriously! Compassion
This week Libby shares a re-release from December 2019 about the science of compassion, and why it's key to loving relationships, including the one with yourself. The Gottman Institute on Contempt: https://www.gottman.com/blog/this-one-thing-is-the-biggest-predictor-of-divorce/ The Harvard Business Review on Self-Compassion: https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion About the Carleton University...
02.06.2024
Sacred Unraveling in Polyamory with Joli Hamilton
Part two of Libby's conversation with Dr. Joli Hamilton where they discuss how navigating differences can open a relationship and the people in it into transformation. Joli's website: https://www.jolihamilton.com/ The Year of Opening: https://www.jolihamilton.com/TYO --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
01.30.2024
Individuation and Navigating Differences with Joli Hamilton
What happens when exploring different relationship styles reveals uncomfortable differences between you and a partner? In this episode, Libby talks with Dr. Joli Hamilton about polyamory as a sacred process of individuation and grief. Joli's website: https://www.jolihamilton.com/ The Year of Opening:...
01.23.2024
Solo Polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer
Long-requested, Libby discusses solo polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer, author, organizer, diversity consultant.. and solo polyamorist. SHOW LINKS: Crystal's website: https://crystalbyrdfarmer.com/ Crystal's book: https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token Solo polyamory: https://solopoly.net/2014/12/05/what-is-solo-polyamory-my-take/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
01.02.2024
Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt 2
In this part 2, Libby and Alyssa talk through some of the challenges that can show up in nonmonogamy for people who are neurodiverse --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
12.26.2023
Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt. 1
Libby and Alyssa discuss being neurodiverse and how polyamory and being neurodiverse can complement each other beautifully. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
12.19.2023
Triangulation
Triangles show up in relationships all over the place. In this episode Libby discusses triangulation, what it is, common ways it can show up in polyamory, and whether triangulation can harm or help. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
12.12.2023
When I Don't Use Boundaries
Libby talks through when she personally does NOT opt for boundaries, and why boundaries are often the last move she will make in navigating relationship difficulties. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
12.05.2023
What is a Boundary Violation? with Juliane Taylor Shore
Libby and Jules answer a listener who asks, "If boundaries are between you and you, then what is a boundary violation?" Jules also goes over her 6 steps to setting an external boundary. Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting Boundaries that...
11.28.2023
Your Brain on Boundaries with Juliane Taylor Shore
Libby is joined by author and therapist Juliane Taylor Shore to talk about internal boundaries and how crucial they are (even though they are often not talked about or overlooked when people talk about boundaries.) Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting...
11.21.2023
Codependence
The word "codependent" comes up a lot in polyamory spaces, but so often it is misused that it's losing its meaning. Libby talks about her dislike of the term, how she thinks it often is used to shame and pathologize...
11.14.2023
Boundaries Aren't Magic
A lot of people are talking about boundaries now. But as Inigo Montoya once said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." In this episode Libby explains that boundaries are not...
11.07.2023
Dating as a Couple
Nothing is a hot-button topic quite like a couple looking to date the same person. A lot of people have only one piece of advice, "Don't," often served with heaping portions of shame and ridicule. Yet, year after year, established...
10.31.2023
Polyamory After an Affair
Increasingly, Libby hears from folks who are interested in polyamory to solve a problem: either they or their partner cheated, and they want to repair and stay together, and nonmonogamy seems like a solution. In this episode, Libby outlines why...
04.25.2023
The Heart Wants What it Wants
Libby offers an uncomfortable but necessary reality check: love alone doesn't conquer all. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
04.18.2023
Uhauling
Maybe you know the joke, maybe you don't, but showing up for a second date with a uhaul can be risky. In this episode, Libby goes over why she thinks cohabiting during the new relationship energy (NRE) phase might not...
04.11.2023
What’s Your Story?
We all carry stories with us about who we are, our place in the world, how others will see us, and what's possible for our lives. Some of these stories are stories we like, some are stories we want to...
03.28.2023
Revoke Your Moral License
Do you sometimes use doing "the right" or "good' things as an excuse to then turn around and do "bad" or "selfish" things? There's a name for this - it's called moral licensing, and it may not just be messing...
03.21.2023
Don't Ask, Don't Tell with Jessica Fern (Part 2)
In Part 2, Polysecure author, Jessica Fern and Libby talk about a very specific arrangement that relates to privacy/secrecy: the Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) relationship. Together they discuss why you might want a DADT arrangement, when it can work,...
03.14.2023
Privacy, Secrecy, and Transparency with Jessica Fern (Part 1)
Polysecure author, Jessica Fern joins Libby to talk about a much-asked for topic, Privacy, Secrecy and Transparency. Together they share their own experiences, what they've learned, and how they advise people to handle sharing information. It can be tricky, but...
03.07.2023
The Ladder of Accountability
Libby shares one of her favorite tools for owning your ish when you mess up with someone you care about. Southwest Lovefest (use code 'go slow' for 10% off): https://www.swlovefest.com/events/southwest-love-fest-2023 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
02.28.2023
What if We Don't Have Sex? With Chaneè Jackson Kendall
Chaneè and Libby answer a question from a listener who identifies as asexual who asked about non-sexual polyamorous relationships. Chaneè identifies as almost-megasexual, Libby identifies as greyace/demisexual, so you can imagine that it is a RICH conversation. They talk about...
02.21.2023
Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 2
In part 2 of Libby's conversation with Akilah Riley-Richardson, Akilah shares her PRIDE model for supporting couples who are working to create safety and resilience in their relationships. Akilah's website: https://akilahrileyrichardson.com/ Relational Privilege and Sytemic Trauma Course: https://therapywisdom.com/relational-privilege-and-systemic-trauma/ Resmaa Menekem: My Grandmother's Hands:...
02.14.2023
Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 1
In this episode, Libby talks with couples therapist and trauma specialist Akilah Riley-Richardson about relational privilege and how essential it is to create safety in order to find intimacy. (Part 1 of 2) Akilah's website: https://akilahrileyrichardson.com/ Relational Privilege and Sytemic Trauma Course:...
02.09.2023
Values and Belonging, Part 2
In Part 2 of this episode, Libby shares her journey to getting clear on her values, figuring out how to act within her integrity and how that led her to find her way to true belonging. Braving the WIlderness by Brene...
02.07.2023
Values and Belonging, Part 1
Libby introduces a new season of Making Polyamory Work with a very personal reflection on belonging, fitting in, values and integrity. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
12.06.2022
Coming Out To Your Kids
Libby and Catherine of Expansive Connection answer a listener question about coming out to older kids. https://www.expansiveconnection.com/ https://www.expansiveconnection.com/enm https://www.instagram.com/expansive.connection.coaching/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
11.22.2022
[Replay] The Holiday Minefield
Libby reviews some of the biggest challenges that can show up around the holiday season when you're non-monogamous and how to navigate them without exploding an already stressful season. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
11.17.2022
There's Nothing to Fear
LIbby talks about how important it is to talk about fears with our partners. How we respond when our partner shares a fear with us can make a tremendous difference in how we tend to them and ourselves. --- Send in...
11.15.2022
New Information Shock
Libby describes the phenomenon known as New Information Shock and how to handle it when you encounter it in your relationships. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
10.18.2022
The Most Important Step of Repair
If you want to make a good repair, there's one step that Libby wishes people prioritized more. Mia Mingus - The Four Parts of Accountability & How To Give A Genuine Apology: https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2019/12/18/how-to-give-a-good-apology-part-1-the-four-parts-of-accountability/ Repair Episode: https://www.makingpolyamorywork.com/episodes/slow-down-to-break-up?rq=repair Are You Checking Out or Checking In?:...
10.11.2022
Breadcrumbing and Signposting
One tool that might help you with rocking-the-boat type conversations. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
10.04.2022
Agreements Are Great
Libby talks about why she likes agreements, what purpose they serve in relationships, and some things to watch out for when making them with your partners. Why Predicting Future feelings is So Difficult: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200825-why-predicting-our-future-feelings-is-so-difficult --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
09.27.2022
Where Is This Going?
Libby speaks about the Relationship Escalator, and talks about some ways she has found to step off it. Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: https://offescalator.com/ Solo Poly: https://solopoly.net/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
09.20.2022
How Do I Know if I'm Polyamorous?
Libby is joined by Multiamory's Dedeker Winston to answer a listener who asks two questions: How do I know if I'm polyamorous? And, how should I go about dating if I'm not sure? Dedeker Winston: https://www.dedekerwinston.com/ Multiamory: https://www.multiamory.com/ Kathy Labriola's Jealousy Workbook: https://bookshop.org/books/the-jealousy-workbook-exercises-and-insights-for-managing-open-relationships/9780937609637 ---...
09.15.2022
Food
Libby names the 10th relationship of a modern marriage: Food. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
09.13.2022
Leave Room in a Crisis
Libby talks about the costs of operating your time, energy, and attention at full capacity by default, and why it's worth considering intentionally having more downtime to recharge and also so that you have some room to push if there's...
04.19.2022
9 Relationships of a Modern Marriage
Did you know that marriage as conventionally practiced in the 21st century (in a lot of the world at least) is actually like... 9 different relationships. In this episode, Libby explains those 9 relationships, and how what marriage is trying...
04.12.2022
Know Your Power
How empowered are you in your relationships? Have you stopped to notice where you might be disempowered... or too empowered? In this episode, Libby talks about power dynamics and how important it is to name them if you want to...
04.05.2022
On Drop
Do you know what drop is? In this episode, Libby explains drop, what it is, why it's rough, and what you can do to make it a little easier to deal with. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
03.29.2022
Veto Happens
The relationship veto is a controversial topic in polyamory circles. Libby talks about what vetoes are, how they can happen without being called a veto, and how they aren't always a bad thing. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/makingpolywork/message
03.22.2022
Yes Intent Does Matter
"Intent doesn't matter." That statement has cropped up in multiple conversations online and in person over the years. In this epsiode, Libby shares why that simply isn't true, at least not when it comes to a valued relationship. --- Send in...
03.15.2022
For Your Mom
In this episode, Libby speaks to parents of adult polyamorous children who may be having a hard time with the idea. SHOW LINKS: It's Called Polyamory: https://thorntreepress.com/its-called-polyamory/ When Someone You Love is Polyamorous: https://thorntreepress.com/when-someone-you-love-is-polyamorous/ The Coffee Break Primer on Polyamory: https://adapowers.medium.com/the-coffee-break-polyamory-primer-6c64b4dc53de This Heart Holds Many,...
03.08.2022
Are you Checking Out or Checking In?
One of the most important things in relationship is to act with intention rather than reactivity, but if we're so busy and distracted all the time, it's really hard to slow down enough to do anything but react when we're...
03.01.2022
Doing It in a Group
In this epsiode, Libby gives you her best tips for having awesome sexytimes with groups of 3 or more. CN: NSFW. Mature content, including explicit mentions of sexual behaviors in this episode. So um, you may want your headphones in. --- Send...

What's Making Polyamory Work about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Making Polyamory Work episodes:

Sexual Health When You're Positive with Courtney Brame

Offer or Request?

Navigating Asexuality with Aubri Lancaster

Is Hierarchy bad?

Unmet Needs in Polyamory

Seriously! Compassion

Sacred Unraveling in Polyamory with Joli Hamilton

Individuation and Navigating Differences with Joli Hamilton

Solo Polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer

Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt 2

Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt. 1

Triangulation

When I Don't Use Boundaries

What is a Boundary Violation? with Juliane Taylor Shore

Your Brain on Boundaries with Juliane Taylor Shore

Codependence

Boundaries Aren't Magic

Dating as a Couple

Polyamory After an Affair

The Heart Wants What it Wants

Uhauling

What’s Your Story?

Revoke Your Moral License

Don't Ask, Don't Tell with Jessica Fern (Part 2)

Privacy, Secrecy, and Transparency with Jessica Fern (Part 1)

The Ladder of Accountability

What if We Don't Have Sex? With Chaneè Jackson Kendall

Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 2

Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 1

Values and Belonging, Part 2

Values and Belonging, Part 1

Coming Out To Your Kids

[Replay] The Holiday Minefield

There's Nothing to Fear

New Information Shock

The Most Important Step of Repair

Breadcrumbing and Signposting

Agreements Are Great

Where Is This Going?

How Do I Know if I'm Polyamorous?

Food

Leave Room in a Crisis

9 Relationships of a Modern Marriage

Know Your Power

On Drop

Veto Happens

Yes Intent Does Matter

For Your Mom

Are you Checking Out or Checking In?

Doing It in a Group