Okay everyone it's time to peel back another layer, stop and go back to basics because I want you to know me, not know what I say when I am ranting having, whining, or otherwise might as well be talking to a brick wall since I'm not talking to anyone... Just at them. So talk back, I wanna hear from you. Messagee at https://anchor.fm/manicasamother/message or find me on Twitter, @manicasamother Big shout out to A Black Dadcast for the inspiration and the push to be more authentic and that means more vulnerable. Not only will my podcast improve, but it helped me dig deeper and realize that vulnerability is as unique and relative as the trauma you've experienced. That is a big step and opportunity for growth. Y'all check out his podcast here, (obviously after you listen to mine-- or whatever) 😉 https://anchor.fm/justablackdadcast

How I feel about parenting through the highs and the lows. One thing we can all agree on is the mom/dad guilt. In this episode you'll get to hear real, raw and authentic stories about what its really like being bipolar and a mother, for me and for my kids. I'm going to be uploading segments as I record them. I have no script, no outline, no idea where I'm going with this. Listen as they are posted or wait until the end (if you know when that is shoot me a memo). Send me a voice message with your thoughts, questions, even your plea that I cease and disist is welcome!

Lets figure out who it we are trying to beat, avoid, fix, force to love us, and make changes we imagined they would make, for us. In order to defeat the enemy, one must know who they are, how they are, and why they are.

The narcissist. We know them, we've tried to love them, we then become them. Staying aware is the only way to prevent becoming that which you hate. Join me as I recover from psychosis and a whole lifetime of unhealthy coping mechanisms that stem from one type of person I have kept around through all walks of life.

Okay as of today, I just want to release the podcast because I have been editing for two days and keep chopping out the genuine raw ugly truth to it and I’m done with that. I went back and forth with the title, and no one told me I would spend longer editing the recording than actually recording it. While my first episode was comical I'm sure, and all around a pretty rough thing to listen to, I felt like I should really try to get a little cleaner and a lot less, I don't know the term for it or anything, but a lot less like I was near delusional and experiencing a flight of ideas. 

In this episode I really just tell some of my backstory but I also make a really important point. And I am so serious about my point being made and people hearing it - I'll tell you what it is right here, right now. 

Mental Illness does not disqualify you from the Mom Awards. You can be a good parent, and be bipolar. I'm here to share my good bad and ugly so that maybe one day when someone like me googles the words together, my podcast comes up and they don't walk away from their computer with doom, gloom, and statistics for her children's (according to most studies) grim future.  

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As I’ve been told, I enjoying walking to the beat of my own drum. Which really I think was my mom being ugly to me about something.