• 00:16 – Background – family, marriage ministry. Impact of men's groups on life. 

• 04:51 – Watermark Church’s impact on vision for marriage ministry. 

• 05:58 – Why so few churches have marriage ministries. Importance and impact of marriage ministries. 

• 08:30 – Raising awareness of importance of marriage ministry in local church. 

• 10:29 – Reactive v. proactive marriage ministry. Working with people at different stages of relationship. 

• 13:42 – Developing a comprehensive marriage ministry, e.g. dating, seriously dating, newlywed, young parents, enrichment, crisis, blended families, single parent family, and contemplating divorce. 

• 16:58 – Normalizing struggles and challenges all couples face. Marriage checkups. 

• 19:27 – Helping children and youth develop a healthy vision for marriage and family life. 

• 20:53 – State of life - single or married. Singles and marrieds interacting. 

• 22:49 – Importance of lay couples proactively seeking help when needed or offering to help couples and take burden off of pastor. Realizing many pastors may have own marital struggles. 

• 26:33 – State of Christian marriage today. Fewer getting married. Cohabitation. Ubiquitous nature of pornography and corrosive effect on relationships. Value placed on marriage is in decline. 

• 33:27 – Problem of pornography and negative impact on relationships. 

• 37:40 – Why churches are hesitant to talk about pornography. 

• 40:46 – Topics in his book, Ready or Knot? Goals for book: biblical, authentic, and practical. Discussion of different topics.

• 43:03 – Communication and conflict resolution. Foundational marriage skills. 

• 46:00 – Key dynamics of good communication. 

• 47:33 – Faith in Christ is foundation of marriage. Discuss before marriage. 

• 53:23 – Living with one another in an understanding way. 

• 55:00 – Finances. Biblical view of money. Stewardship mentality. 

• 56:12 – Biblical roles or responsibilities for men and women. Confusion in world today. 

• 1:00:16 – Couples’ small group dynamics. Men's group's role in helping men be men. 

• 1:03:34 – Emotional intimacy. Intimacy is knowing and being known without fear of rejection. Intimacy in marriage. When to share and not share. 

• 1:07:32 – Three types of marriage relationships - traditional, egalitarian, transitional. Husbands assuming responsibility and initiative for marriage and family. 

• 1:12:13 – Sex. Finding sexual fulfillment. Personal identity tied to sex. Baggage brought into marriage affects sex life. 

• 1:17:30 – Relationship with family and in-laws. Forming a new family. Relationships change. 

• 1:19:24 – Dynamics of marriage relationship. Constant companion, roommate, or best friends. 

• 1:20:51 – Pursuing community as a couple. Help live out life God calls us to. 

• 1:21:44 – Discussing view of children in home and lives before marriage. What future will look like. 

• 1:23:20 – Advice for different stages of life together, e.g. dating, newly married, married with young kids, high school age children, empty nesters. 

• 1:24:44 – Prayer in marriage. When and how to prayer. What to pray for. Two way communication. Praying the Scriptures. 

• 1:30:46 – Resources available. Watermark Church marriage materials. Gary Thomas. Paul Tripp. Podcasts: Willis' and Frederick’s. 

• 1:32:17 – Contact information. www.scottkedersha.com Book - Ready or Knot? Harris Creek Church – “Uncommon Family” sermon series - https://www.harriscreek.org/sermons/

· 00:00 Background of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk book and title.

· 05:25 Background as church planter, pastor, marriage counselor, creator of relationship programs for singles, dating and married couples in and outside churches. Training military chaplains working with singles.

· 18:59 Impact of marriage and relational breakdown on loss of faith. Relational problems are major felt need in American society. Major opportunity for churches to engage society.

· 29:48 Marriage trends in 20thcentury. Decline of marriage in 1920s and 1960s.

· 40:01 Head and heart working together in dating relationship.

· 50:47 Role of romance in relationships in the Western societies. Role in other cultures.

· 53:19 Predictors of successful marriages. Five bonds of a healthy relationship, e.g. knowledge, trust, reliance, commitment, and touch. How they work together and need to stay in balance.

· 1:05:49 Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) - Logical sequence of knowing, trusting, relying on, committing to, and touch. 90 day rule. Key areas to learn about a person – their conscience, family background, compatibility potential, how they treat other people, and their relationship skills.

· 1:20:29 Five knowledge areas act as mirrors and windows for looking at ourselves and others. Growth and discernment with other people is continually happening. Marriage is place where one person sharpens another. How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk helps people see themselves and others better even if already married.

· 1:27:24 Church use of RAM series to help singles and marrieds develop relationships and teach children, youth, and adults about relationship skills. Six week church video series, also includes examining relationship with God. Find at www.ramseries.com.

· 1:38:33 Resources for singles or couple resources, church wide or small groups can be found at www.ramseries.com. Dating couple resources are at www.mylovethinks.com. A trainer course for RAM and research go to www.lovethinks.com.

· 1:43:21 Importance of a weekly couples’ “huddle” meeting to discuss five relational bonds. It’s a checkup time. Keep bonds in balance. Ask, how are we doing? Look back and forward to see how relationship is doing. Couples in crisis get out of balance and don’t correct the imbalance over time.

· 1:52:44 Things John is excited about, developing new resources and working with churches.

00:02 Background. Work in politics and policy. Family experiences. Community wide marriage initiative in Jacksonville, FL. Start of Communio.

08:05 Foundational importance of marriage and family to society and church. Impact of marriage on church participation. Youth work is a “search and rescue” mission. Central importance of marriage and family ministry in the church.

17:00 Cohabitation. Impact and consequences on relationships. Different impact on men and women. Impact of 70/30 disparity of women to men in churches.

29:48 Importance of fathers in lives of children. Link between lack of fathers and loss of belief in God. Centrality of marriage in Scripture.

40:08 “Felt” need in society is relational health. Reaching people in the community.

48:50  State of marriage in churches. 85% of churches spend zero ministry dollars on marriage. Communio's marriage ministry model - data informed, full circle relationship ministry. Need to overcome thinking that marriage ministry is only for troubled marriages.

55:38 Ministry Engagement Ladder helps churches help couples. Four elements: Invitation, Outreach, Ongoing Engagement, and Growth Journey.

1:01:28 Problem isn't lack of great marriage resources but utilization by couples. Problem is hesitancy of couples to admit need. Mindset shift is needed first among pastors and church leaders. Helping local churches run an evangelization ministry around healthy relationships and marriages in their communities.

1:08:03  Vision of churches as "epicenters for relational health" in the local community. Effective ministry is built on vision, community, and skills training. Must also be relevant and fun.

1:12:05 Marriage ministry in church is for all couples in the church. Institution of marriage used by God to draw people to Himself.

1:15:24 Christ changes our cities through churches and marriage ministry. 40 - 60 churches in a metropolitan area can change its culture. Healthy marriages are very attractive to people.

1:19:30 Marriage and family are foundation for evangelism not youth ministry. Healthy marriages and families are the cultural precondition, the pathway for reconversion of the world.

1:23:05 Additional information and resources from www.communio.org and www.endgame.org.

· 08:05 Importance of community to strengthen marriage and family. Challenges of early marriage years. Time of discovery, reorientation.

· 14:09 Grace of God, Holy Spirit to get through hard times. Importance of forgiveness.

· 18:42 Importance of role models and children who help us to change.

· 20:03 Key marriage practices, e.g. prayer, regulating media intake as a family, and regular husband/wife meetings.

· 24:38 Dynamics of a weekly husband/wife meeting.

· 27:35 Value of a couples' small group.

· 29:38 Benefits of a men's and women's groups.

· 32:07 Dynamics of successful small groups.

· 35:44 Marriage as a vocation, a calling. Purpose found in Genesis 1 & 2.

· 42:11 Practical steps, skills to learn when preparing for marriage. Developing relational skills.

· 47:03 Role as a parent, how to view children. Considering parenting when making work decisions. Father and mother roles in raising children. Creating a culture in the home.

· 54:53 Building a life together as a couple not operating as individuals.

· 56:54 Stewarding our children. Giving them proper priority.

· 1:01:43 Elements of a two year program for young, married couples. Meeting in homes, in small groups, and learning relationship, communication, finance, and parenting skills.

· 1:05:54 Small groups encourage, support one another.

· 1:07:25 Starting young married program in local church body. Have support of pastor. Local leadership. Creating community in church among couples and families. Make commitments.

· 1:17:29 Contact info for Ed Gross, [email protected], on young marriage program.

00:01  Background - Raised in Canada. Experience with God. Involvement with Transform Our World.

05:26 Jesus' approach to evangelism in Luke 10 - bless, fellowship, minister, and proclaim.

13:33 Prayer evangelism - changing spiritual climate of neighborhood and community. A lifestyle. Talk to God about people before talking to people about God.

16:36 Experiences with prayer evangelism in condo complex. Prayer walks. Doors opening. Healing.

34:30 Prayer evangelism. Intentionality. Blessing others changes your heart. Obedience, faithfulness is success.

39:57 Importance of knowing and using names of neighbors, get to know, listen to them, and develop a relationship.

46:13 Show hospitality towards neighbors. Transformation of one house can effect neighborhood.

51:51 Example of prayer evangelism taking root in neighborhood. Prayer walks. How they work.

1:08:38 Practicals of praying for area, neighborhood. Spheres of influence, e.g. daily routine, friends, family, coworkers.

1:19:08 Praying about crimes concerns in city, neighborhood. Practical steps one can take. Blessing police officers, fire fighters, and first responders.

1:24:26 The family as an Ecclesia, a church. God's instrument for transformation. Examples of living it out 24/7. Ultimate goal of transformation is discipling nations.

1:32:44 Practical steps for integrating spiritual vitality into marriage and family. Prayer times, check in with spouse, build heart to heart connections, and address disagreements quickly.

1:39:01 Praying for, with children. Doing prayer evangelism with them. Viewing each day as an adventure. See what God is doing. Knowing and encouraging children in their strengths and giftings.

1:44:22 Additional resources. Books: Prayer Evangelism, Ekklesia, and Transformation. Websites https://www.transformourworld.org/ and https://ekklesiaeverywhere.com/  Put things into practice within 24 hours of hearing.

1:48:22 Next steps for people we encounter. Discipleship begins at point of relationship.

· 00:36 Background. Family, friends’ divorces sparked concern for marriages. Moved to San Antonio.

· 03:44 Impetus for San Antonio Marriage Initiative. Great marriage resources nationally but missing grassroots, community initiatives. Learned from Mike McManus and Community Marriage Policies.

· 05:53 Met with hundreds of marriage leaders in city. Goal is create a network of marriage organizations and people connected and learning from each other.

· 07:16 Reasons why marriage leaders are isolated. Immensity of the problem. Overwhelming for many.

· 10:24 Response to problem is creating movement not an organization, institution, or program. Essential elements of movement. Need to listen well. Organizations versus movement communication is downward.

· 16:35 Movements reveal what is already in place not creating something new. Roles people can play to strengthen marriages.

· 24:17  Empowering people by creating pathways to empowerment. Example of divorce attorney.

· 29:26 Need to inspire communities by inspiring couples with hope and leaders to see the central importance of marriage and family.

· 38:31 Forming a community marriage initiative. Starts with a small group of people with vision.

· 42:21 Church plays a key role. Other sectors like government, nonprofit, education, counseling, law are also important.

· 48:52 History and activities of San Antonio Marriage Initiative.

· 52:02 Impact of COVID on marriage efforts. Impact on marriages and marriage organizations.

· 55:48 Marriage ministry in churches - reactive or proactive. Start small and where passion exists. Point person. Recruit others.  Build for the long run.

· 1:03:47 Practices to develop healthy marriages - connect daily, date weekly, get away regularly.

· 1:05:44 Steps for developing a community marriage initiative. Listen and learn what others are already doing in community. Key questions to ask marriage champions.

· 1:18:45  Networking with marriage champions. In meetings, encourage, equip, resource, and connect people. Facilitate a process where people can make strategic connections.

· 1:24:19 Getting people together. Format of meeting does four things: encourage, equip, resource, and connect. Critical to create value for people who attend.

· 1:30:10 For more information on San Antonio Marriage Initiative go to www.samarriage.org and for marriage leaders in cities: www.marriageinitiative.org

00:33 Background. Marriage Ministry in Church. Starting ministry to help marriages be real, fun, and simple.

03:26 Started Married People to help smaller churches find resources and make materials their own.

05:19 Helping churches move from reactive to proactive marriage ministry.

06:48 Challenge of marriage ministry in the Covid era.

10:58 The attractiveness of a healthy marriage to people outside the church.

13:57 Impact of healthy marriages on a church.

16:24 Impact of a loving couple on their children. Marriage struggles and strengthening marriages.

19:31 Finding ways to help couples who really need help.

22:40 Starting marriage work in a church – Start with prayer, take stock of your situation.

24:42 Some shifts in church ministry focus - helping kids by moving from children’s ministry to family ministry, from feminine to feminine/masculine, from program to process.

30:17 Moving from programs to experiences. Date nights.

32:53 Sunday morning education – focus on conversation more than classroom. Relationship, community building.

37:23 Marriage ministry, start with marriage champion couples. People who are reluctant but willing.

41:54 Casting vision to pastor, buy in is critical. Tie marriage to church’s mission.

45:38 Crawl, walk, run approach to marriage ministry.

47:23 Building bridges to other couples by speaking positively of spouse. Sacrifice for spouse.  Cherish one another.

52:40 A marriage movement. Couples farther down the road helping younger couples. Leadership.

57:11 Four core habits of healthy marriages. Fun, love God first, love and respect, and practice your promise.

1:02:10 Marriage People provides resources to help churches and couples have better marriages. Contact at www.marriedpeople.org

00:37 Experience as Dallas Cowboys chaplain.  Relationship with Coach Tom Laundry.

08:01 Background - Family, father as a role model.

15:51 Importance of a father in a child's life. Looking at Scriptures. Raising up next generation.

38:33 Characteristics of a good father.

53:42 Loving, caring, modeling, investing in others. Personal accountability.

1:00:24 Commitment in marriage. Serving as an example to others.

1:26:39 Leaving a legacy for others. Thanking others for their investment in our lives.

00:32 Robert's background and upbringing.

07:58 Growing confusion, challenges facing men in changing culture, society.

11:55 Definition, qualities of a man. God's design for men. Qualities laid out in Genesis.

22:20 Application of four pillars to single men's lives.

25:39 Manhood blessing Jesus received. Application to fathers and sons today.

30:15 Marriage models: traditional, egalitarian, biblical. What they are. What works and doesn't work.

38:15 Three callings of husbands rooted in loving wife as Christ loved the church. Feels loved. See husband's faith. Provide for so she has freedom to use her gifts.

45:14 Male and female roles in marriage. Flexibility v. rigidity during seasons of marriage.

50:30 Man as servant leader. Woman as helper, nurturer. Meaning of terms. Sacred callings.

53:11 Cultural context when Paul lived and wrote letters in New Testament. Similar to today in key respects. Biblical concepts - headship, submission - and their meaning.

58:11 Husbands as servant leaders. Countercultural then and now.

59:47 Submission, encouraging husband to carry out his responsibilities in home. Tendency of men to avoid responsibility. Submission is a response not a role.

1:03:28 Headship - As a curse or a blessing.

1:06:41 Caricatures of headship.

1:08:10 Broken manhood and consequences lived out in marriages, families, and society. Importance of male friendships to restore and strengthen men.

1:13:44 Example of restoring manhood in the life of a prisoner and his relationship with his son.

1:18:33 Elements of effective men's groups.

1:20:45 Critical role men need to play in restoring families and societies.

1:22:21 Change is lifelong process but richness comes with each step taken.

1:23:45 Lessons to be learned from AA approach.

1:25:33 Men's Fraternity and BetterMan, men's programs and curricula, introduces men to fundamentals of manhood and male community.

1:28:37 Life's calling. Message on headstone in cemetery.

1:35:34 Dealing with regrets and past mistakes today.  Humility. Forgiveness. Blessing children. Moving ahead as a godly man.