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To close out the summer, I wanted to bring you something lighter—especially after the last episode on grief. I’ve always been a romantic at heart. I want to fall madly in love, but as I grow older and wiser, I’ve learned not to lose myself in it.

I see romance as a kink—something I can tap into when I want to feel a certain way in my relationships. It can be an exaggerated fantasy, but like role play, it can open the door to more passion and intimacy.

In this episode, I share some of the sweetest gestures guys have done for me and moments that felt almost cinematic. This one’s for the lovers.

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This bonus episode is a vulnerable one. I wanted to talk about grief—how it’s shaped me, how it lingers, and how I still struggle to face it. I’ve also realized how much I struggle with intimacy, especially when it comes to letting people see that pain. Lorde’s new album hit something in me. It’s messy, honest, and full of feeling—just like grief is. It made me want to stop hiding and start speaking. Grief never really leaves us, but if we let ourselves feel it, maybe it can crack us open in a way that makes room for connection, for truth, and for being fully seen.

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It’s the Madonna episode! Anyone who knows me knows how deep my obsession with Madonna runs. But it’s not a superficial fascination—it’s rooted in what she’s represented for me and so many others. In this episode, I’m joined by my guest Stefan, host of the wildly popular MLVC Podcast, as we dive into all things Madge and reflect on how integral she’s been to our lives growing up as queer men.

We talk about the ways Madonna shaped our identities, gave us permission to be bold, and how she helped make queerness visible in mainstream culture. She didn’t just entertain—she empowered. We explore how she broke down cultural barriers, stood fiercely with the LGBTQ+ community long before it was widely accepted, and redefined what it meant to be unapologetically sexual and feminist. Her legacy goes beyond the music—it’s a blueprint for liberation. Whether it’s through her style, activism, or sheer defiance, Madonna taught us how to own who we are without shame.

You can find Stefan on social media

Instagram: @mlvcpodcast

                    @stefanwithanf

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In this week’s episode, I chat with Tantra facilitator and sexological bodyworker Jason King. We explore the question: What is intimacy?—especially in the context of sexual connection. Our conversation dives into vulnerability, and how intimacy often requires us to take emotional risks, even when there’s a chance of rejection.

Jason shares how many men default to a hyper-masculine approach to sex, and how true intimacy can often feel more soft, open, and even feminine. He talks about one of his personal kinks—eye gazing—and how intense and revealing that experience can be. We also examine how social media and dating apps can lead us to perform and curate an image, when in reality, the awkward, unpolished version of ourselves is often more attractive and real.

Together, we explore how we can begin practicing intimacy in our friendships and deepen emotional connections outside of sex. Jason shares insights on what it means to energetically open up—whether that’s in the context of bottoming or simply being emotionally available—and how Tantra can be a powerful practice for this. We also offer some practical tips for men who are looking to build more authentic intimacy in their lives.

You can find Jason on social media

Instagram: @embodied_eros

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In this episode, I chat with Firefly Tantra, who works with men using the practice of Tantra. He breaks down what sessions with clients actually look like, how Tantra compares to somatic sex coaching, and where the two overlap. We talk about dealing with shame when it shows up during sex—something we’ve both seen in our own lives and in our work. We also get into body image and how, in the gay community, there’s a lot of pressure to look perfect, even though looking good doesn’t necessarily mean you’re great in bed. We touch on substance use during sex, and how if we really want deeper connections, it might be time to start practicing social skills in real life instead of relying on the apps. Toward the end, we talk about open relationships and share some of our own experiences with them.

You can find Firefly on social media

Instagram: @fireflytantra

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In this episode, I have the pleasure of chatting with the funny and delightful Matthew Shur. We talk about our experiences working with Himeros and how each of us found our way into the world of porn. We also explore how performance can enhance sex—especially when we're truly connected to our bodies. The conversation touches on burlesque as a celebration of self-love, and how it's about loving your body while inviting others to witness and enjoy that love. We also discuss the reality of performance anxiety in porn and what that can look like for performers. Matthew shares some powerful stories about helping porn stars tap into deeper intimacy on set.

You can find Matthew on social media

Instagram: @matthewshur

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I had a truly meaningful conversation with my friend Rahim Thawer that I’m excited to share. We explored a wide range of topics, all rooted in the theme of empathy. How do we connect with people we disagree with? What does activism look like in the digital age? And how do we navigate the everyday trauma of simply being human in today’s world? On a lighter note, we also talked about joy—what it looks like, how we access it—and even asked the playful question: “Does Taylor Swift feel more joy than the rest of us?” Maybe she does—who knows? My hope is that this conversation leaves you with a reminder: we all need to be more mindful of one another, to seek connection before passing judgment on why someone holds the beliefs they do or makes the choices they make.

You can find Rahim on social media

Instagram: @the.politicized.practitioner

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My friend Priscilla Mossy Stone joins me to chat about their story of coming out, going to conversion therapy, and finding their way to drag. We discuss how social norms of masculinity and femininity can keep men in a small box of rules to live by. Both of us found that by expressing all parts of ourselves, and finding some inspiration from pop divas, can give us a greater sense of freedom. Mossy is such a delight and beautiful storyteller in this episode about the ups and downs of practicing authenticity.

You can find Mossy on social media

Instagram: @mossylovesbooks

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I met my friend Jean-Francois a few years ago when we were both fairly new yoga teachers. We reconnected after our yoga paths both crossed into the world of eroticism. We chat about how those tools that we found in a spiritual and physical practice can translate into sex and connection. In this episode we also dive into the topic of body image and how we both struggle at times with how we feel in our skin. We discuss how it is in our daily practices and mindfulness that we can move through a lot of shame and get to that side of pleasure and freedom.

You can find JF on social media;

Instagram: @jfatawakenstudioto

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In this episode I am joined by my friend Don Shine, who is a coach/body worker and retreat facilitator for the Body Electric school. At the time of recording this episode it was the week of the American inauguration for Donald Trump. We discuss how to deal with the uncertainty and real fear our communities are facing in these times. We talk about our experiences growing up in rural communities and how that shaped who we are, and how we treat other people. We also touch on the importance of kindness and how that makes others feel.

You can find Don on the socials and his website;

Instagram: @donshine74

Website: donshine.net

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