Max Out

Bobby Maximus is a legend of the fitness world. Named one of the 100 Fittest Men of All Time by Men`s Health, this guy has done it all: World Champion in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, ranked second in the world for Kickboxing, Coach to many elite athletes, and the best-selling author of the Maximus Body. On this episode, we dove deep into mental strength, becoming a badass, and crushing any goal in your life!

Max Out Insights:

What you see online is usually very different from the actual person

Sports are a very safe place to fail

If you love what you do, you`ve already won

If you show up every day and do the work, the results will come automatically

Instead of protecting your kids, involve them in your life and business

Being your best is a lifelong process

Show up. Every. Damn. Day.

Max Out Quotes:

“If money was no object, what would you do?”

“If you want to get good at something, you have to do it every day.”

“You can`t override 10 years of behavior in a day.”

“The hardest part is putting your shoes on.”

Coach Michael Hill is a Master Strength and Conditioning Coach and the Director of Sports Performance at Georgetown University, where he oversees the development of over 20 teams and over a thousand student-athletes. As a former student-athlete (shout-out to Florida Gulf Coast University!) myself, I was really excited to dive deep into leadership, strength training, and building character!

If the thing you are doing right now broke away, what would you be doing? How else would you define yourself?

What would you think and do if every thought and action was recorded?

Selecting for character is key to building a good team

Giving back brings some of the greatest fulfillment we can experience in life

Carl Massy is a life and business strategist with a super cool Australian accent (I`m slightly jealous). After over a decade as an Australian Army Major and working as a senior consultant to the Olympic games, Carl decided that it was time to move on and dedicate his life to helping others become the best they can be, and that`s exactly what we talk about in this episode: How to create authentic happiness and success in your life!

Max Out Insights:

Pain is a signal to call attention to an unhealthy state of things and move you into action

Making decisions in a state of anger or frustration reduces your brain capacity to that of a mammal (at least close to it), so get in a calm state first (nature is always a great way!) before making important decisions

Before we start pursuing success, we need to define what it means for us to be successful

Alternative ways to measure authentic success: Daily joy; high-quality relationships; feeling connected; growing/evolving; meaningful life goals; financial flow; optimal health and vitality

Think you are lacking confidence? Focus on developing courage instead by doing difficult things

Dr. Gary Latham has been one of my superheroes for many years. As the co-founder of Goal Setting Theory and a leading researcher on goal setting and motivation over the last 50 years, he has had a tremendous impact on the field of psychology. Throughout his illustrious career, he has also won numerous teaching awards and served as the president of the Canadian Psychological Association among many others.

I had a blast talking to Dr. Latham about goal setting, the biggest mistakes people make, and how to finally stick to your good intentions!

Max Out Insights:

Goal setting and achievement give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment

How to set successful goals:

Specific and challenging

Specific goals beat vague dreams

Take into account ability: If the goal far exceeds your abilities, you won`t commit

Goal Commitment: If you don`t commit, you`re wasing your time

Get feedback

Have a strategy

If you focus on your goal and have a plan for getting there, you will be better off even if you don`t achieve it

If the end goal is too bit, set sub-goals to have more regular accomplishments

“Do your best” goals are all but worthless

Finding role models that are on a similar path can help you keep going when you want to quit

Take into account your surroundings: Setting up your environment to align with your goals goes a long way in maximizing your performance

Tracking your progress helps you get excited about your growth and therefore take better actions

Tell people exactly what your goal is and get their support

Accomplishment prevents burnout

When you set your daily goals, don`t go home before you achieve them

Deliberately seek out constructive criticism and feedback to improve your craft

If you find that you lack the discipline, get resources (like a trainer at the gym) to help you follow through

Make people feel comfortable saying “it stinks” about your work to get useful feedback and get better

Max Out Quotes:

“If you set these lofty goals but don`t commit, you`re just wasting your time.”

Max Out Insights:

The Warrior mindset is about gaining control over oneself: your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual layers

Self-mastery is the most important skill of the 21st century, and gaining it will give you a competitive advantage in life and business

At what point would you stop going after your goal? If you can come up with a point, don`t pursue that goal because the setbacks will inevitably come your way

Change won`t happen overnight, but it will happen inevitably if you`re doing it right

When you experience pressure and nervousness, ask yourself why you feel this way and put your expectations into perspective again

When you can completely control the event, only rehearse positive outcomes. If there are forces outside your control (like an objection in sales for example), also rehearse the obstacles and how you will navigate through them to a successful outcome

BTFAR: Beliefs > Thoughts > Feelings > Actions > Results

Using the pain of negative events and failures is a powerful way to drive yourself to the next level

It`s your responsibility to be guardian of your own mind and decide which thoughts, ideas, impulses, and opinions you want to enter your consiousness

Max Out Quotes:

„When you get involved with the physical and experience doubts and fears coming up, the doorway to the mental opens up.“

„The words we use don`t describe but create our experience.“

„If you`re lacking in the physical arena, where else are you lacking?“

„You don`t stop yourself from being distracted because then you force yourself not to look. If you focus on the goal, you`re automatically not distracted.“

„When you mentally rehearse that upcoming event over and over again, you train your unconscious mind to release the pressure.“

„You are responsible for programming your own mind. If you don`t take that responsibility, the world will do it for you.“

„If you want to develop mental strength and live a different life, start telling yourself a different story.“

„Is this thought or emotion in alignment with the life you want to create?“

Dave Schrader is a Senior Partner at Full Circle Group with over 30 years of experience in leadership development with some of the biggest companies in the world. With a PhD in Organisational Behavior, Dave is an expert at helping leaders make lasting changes by mastering the external and internal game of leadership. More importantly, he came highly recommended by several people in my circle including my dad, so of course I had to reach out and get him on the show!

Max Out Insights:

The Inner Game of leadership is about choosing our purpose and perspective and living from it every day in every interaction

Great leaders play to win through service and creativity. Bad leaders play not to lose to protect their ego

Setting intentions for how we want to show up changes our brains on a neurochemical level, which has been shown by science to be contagious. If we want to lift up other people`s emotions, we first need to lift our own

In the past, scientists thought that by the time he hit 20-25 years, our brains and personalities were matured and fixed. Now we know that`s not the case and that there`s several stages of adult development we can pass through if we choose to do the work:

Egocentric: The world exists to please me, and if it doesn`t, I`ll get angry

Socialized self: Instead of believing the world centers around us, in this stage we put ourselves in the natural boundaries of society to better fit in and be effective

Self-authoring stage: I write my own story now by declaring my values, goals, and interests, and then living by them unapologetically

Self-transforming self: We start to acknowledge all the dark and negative aspects to bring together light and darkness. We move from “me” to “we”

Unitive self: The sense of “self” disappears and we become one with the thing we are doing

Trauma, pain, and even nearing death can be a spark of growth and accelerate our pace of development

Reflection and quiet time are necessary for our 1000s of thoughts to settle into 100 and then 10 and then perhaps even into no thoughts

Just 2 minutes of mindful breathing can be a total gamechanger and create the space for creative ideas to come in

Forest bathing and getting out in nature goes a long way in helping us feel calm and relaxed

Coming from a place of “Learn how” rather than “Know how” allows us to gain new insights and become better

What are you willing to die for? To stand for? To live for?

Max Out Quotes:

“Most of us don`t know, but we won`t tell each other for fear of the ego embarrassment that it causes.”

Dr. Procrastination aka Dr. Timothy Pychyl from Carleton University is the world`s leading authority on procrastination. For the last 20 years, he has researched why we procrastinate, the negative effects that has on our lives, and of course some practical techniques to finally get ourselves to do the things we say we want to do. If you want to learn how to tame the monkey mind, this episode is for you!

Max Out Insights:

Procrastination is detrimental to our performance, health and wellbeing, while often leading to guilt, stress, and heart disease

We process information regarding our future self like a stranger, which often keeps us from making rational choices

Self-oriented perfectionists try to do good job because they like it, while socially prescribed perfectionists try to live up to other people`s standards. Not surprisingly, socially prescribed perfectionists experience more anxiety, negative emotions, and procrastination

Our monkey minds are a main reason for procrastination, so we need to keep the monkeys busy by asking: What`s the next action? Or: What would be the next action if I was going to do this?

Using Implementation Intentions puts the stimulus for the action in the environment and therefore makes us more likely to act: In situation X, I will do Y

Mindfulness allows us to develop a non-judgemental attitude towards our thoughts and feelings, thereby making it easier to deal with unpleasant emotions and stick to our intentions

When we think about things concretely, our brains treat them like the present. When we think about things abstractly, our brains treat them like there`s no urgency to them. Therefore, thinking about your goals and intentions very concretely makes you more likely to follow through. Replace “I´ve got to read this weekend” with “I`ve got to read 5 more pages in chapter 3 on Saturday at 2pm”.

The Inner Child from a neuroscientific perspective: Children`s prefrontal cortex (center for logic, reasoning, and self-control) is not matured yet while the limbic system/reptilian brain that is responsible for impulses is fully active. That`s why children have a hard time controlling their impulses and our “Inner Child” comes when there`s a mismatch between the two and the limbic system takes over. An amygdala hijack occurs, which means that your emotions dominate your decision making

A transgression with someone else usually leads to avoidance. Similarly, procrastination is a transgression against the self and leads to avoidance of the thing that makes us feel guilty or ashamed. Therefore, when we try to get ourselves to do something and fail, we often do anything to avoid the same situation in the future. Learning self-forgiveness is the best way to overcome this

Max Out Quotes:

“Procrastination is a voluntary delay of an intended action despite knowing you`ll probably be worth off for the delay.”

“Procrastination is failing to get on with life itself.”

“Procrastination is not a time management problem, it`s an emotion management problem.”

“Motivation follows action. No one said you have to be in the mood.”

Jairek Robbins, son of the legendary Tony Robbins, is a peak performance coach and the best-selling author of Live it, who has inspired millions of people around the world to live a happy, healthy, and successful life. We dove deep into morning routines, moving from fear to excitement, and what it truly takes to live an extraordinary life!

Max Out Insights:

Who we are becomes part of the fabric of the people around us. We only truly die when the last person who knew us speaks our name for the last time.

Much of the greatest joy in life comes from slowing down. As Jairek says, if you`re making love to your partner, you don`t want things to end quickly. That`s called premature. The most beautiful moments in life are the ones that are so stunning they take away our breath and make us be slow down to experience the beauty of what is.

Slowing down is hard because it makes us face what`s going on in our head, so learning to live with yourself is one of the most important skills you could ever develop

How often do you turn off your phone, look in the mirror, and tell yourself 3 things you honor about yourself? 3 things you appreciate about you as a human? 3 things you admire/love/enjoy about yourself?

Fear lives in three places: Body, emotions, and mind

To get the fear out of your body, use cold showers or the special breathing technique Jairek teaches at 23:20min

To get fear out of your emotions, change your focus: Where`s the miracle in this moment? The blessing? The opportunity?

To get fear out of your mind, use affirmations and other positive messanges to create an empowering inner dialogue

Most people have the dreams of the .001% but the habits of the 99%

Max Out Quotes:

“Life is like the mist. When you walk in the mist, it soaks into your skin and becomes part of the fabric of who you are and will therefore always be part of who you are moving forward.”

“If I only had six days to live, how would I go about living those days to know I lived fully, I loved deeply, and I did something that mattered?”

“Moments like this slow everyone down. The thing is, some people will enjoy it while others will be miserable. That`s the decision that you have to make: Is this a blessing or a curse?”

“If all you have is a heartbeat and a breath, you have more than enough to do goodness in the world and to enjoy your life.”

“Most of us don`t take the time to fill ourselves up with the love that we want to experience. If I take an empty glass and I try to pour into your glass, you won`t receive anything. So how often do you take the time to flood into your mind and body the love that you want to share with those that you care about?”

Dr. Joan Rosenberg is the founder of Emotional Mastery and a world-leading expert in the fields of self-confidence, emotional strength, and self-esteem. She has been a featured expert in several documentaries, has a patent in performance skill development, and has helped thousands of people around the world to master their emotions and take control of their lives.

It was so fun to dive into these topics because many of the things Dr. Rosenberg suggests are quite literally the foundation of what I did to transform my own confidence and emotions, so get ready for a super-practical episode with lots of food for thought!

Max Out Insights:

We can`t always choose how we feel, but we`re in control of how we respond – how we manage it and how we express it

Metaphorically (or actually) hiding in your bed to escape your emotions is (who would have thought!) not a good strategy. To release emotions, we need to engage with them

Unpleasant emotions exist because they are protective in nature

Acknowledging our unpleasant emotions helps us feel whole as opposed to half a person because we try to cut off half of our feelings

The most common unpleasant feelings or states:

Sadness

Shame

Helplessness

Anger

Vulnerability

Embarassment

Disappointment

Frustration

Naming the emotions we feel lessens their impact and makes it easier to deal with them

How to bring awareness to your feelings:

How am I feeling?

What triggered this?

What is it connected to?

Is there something from the past this is linked to?

How to transform your feelings using the Rosenberg Reset: 1 Choice, 8 Feelings, 90 Seconds

Choice: Awareness instead of avoidance > Lean into your feelings

8 feelings: Tune in to understand what exactly you are feeling

90 seconds: We experience feelings through bodily sensations (for example the heat in your throat/face when you get embarassed) that are short-lived and transient, lasting only about 90 seconds as a neurochemical reaction before flushing out. Therefore, the way to handle unpleasant emotions is to ride one or more short-lived bodily sensation waves

In the short-term, leaning into your dark side feelings can be a powerful motivator. However, be sure to use this only in acute moments because overdoing it may be detrimental to your happiness and joy over the long run

Confidence is an internal job. While outside praise can help, it`s only by mastering our inner world that we develop true confidence

The first foundation of confidence is the ability to handle unpleasant emotions. The second is to speak up with ease and assert yourself

You develop confidence by speaking up. You don`t need to be confident first, your confidence develops out of the act of you speaking.

Being harshly self-critical is exponentially more detrimental than experiencing unpleasant emotions

Max Out Quotes:

„I don`t consider unpleasant feelings as bad or negative because I know they are protective.“

„The ability to deal with unpleasant emotions is the foundation of confidence.“

„Confidence is the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever your pursue.“

„Difficulty speaking up is not a speaking problem. Difficulty speaking up is a difficulty with unpleasant feelings problem.“

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is a fellow positive psychologist and the founder of the Flourishing Center, which strives to make the world a better place by teaching people the skills of resilience and positive psychology.

After immigrating from the Ukraine at the age of 6 to escape Communism and Chernobyl, Emiliya had to face severe obstacles like the death of her brother, her mom`s cancer, and living in a new country, which led her to develop an intense curiosity around the power of the mind and what it takes to live a flourishing life. After getting her Master`s degree in Positive Psychology, she is now pursuing her PhD in Mind-Body medicine and a leading voice in the fields of wellbeing and resilience!

Max Out Insights:

The stories we tell ourselves affect how we feel about our lives. Is what you`re telling yourself on a daily basis serving you or disempowering you? What new story could you create that would give you more peace and happiness in your life?

PERMA-V – Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement, and Vitality are all pathways to happines.

How many positive emotions do you experiene on your daily basis? How about your net positive/negative?

How engaged do you feel every day? Do you have experiences of Flow and opportunities to stretch yourself?

How is the quality of your relationships? Do you have people around you that love and you support you and vice versa?

Do you experience meaning and purpose in your life?

How much do you get the things you want out of life? Are you able to set goals, build the right habits, and achieve what you want?

How is your physical body feeling? Are you fully nurturing your body through nutritious foods and envigorating exercise?

After traumatic events, not everyone responds the same way. Some people struggle. Most people are resilient and get back to normal. Others experience post-traumatic growth and actually grow stronger and better BECAUSE of the adversity they faced. If you`re struggling with trauma of any kind, especially professional help, social support, creating a more empowering story, and setting small, daily challenges can help.

Mental Mastery comes down to 3 key skills: The self-awareness to notice when you engage in unhelpful thoughts or emotions, the self-compassion to understand where they come from and not beat yourself up, and the self-care to take active control of your thinking and choose helpful over unhelpful.

Happy people reframe failures as opportunities for learning and improvement, while unhappy people view them as personal failures that mean they are not good, smart, beautiful, talented, etc. enough. Developing a growth mindset and looking FORWARD to failures as a stepping stone to success is key.

Max Out Quotes:

„So much of our wellbeing depends on our thoughts, our belief systems, and the lens through which we see the world.“

„We create our own stories and therefore our own realities.“

„Mastering the mind is the ability to identify your thoughts in real time, choose thoughts that are useful, and redirect thoughts when they aren`t.“