Maximum Carbon Sinkhole

The end of the world needs a comedian.

4:24 "How Can You Be That Cynical? (Grist Bingo)"

17:41 "$2 Bills"

19:34 "The End of the World Needs a Comedian"

20:29 " Not Scared of Cannibals... or Anarchists"

22:04 "Jobs Aren't Real"

23:25 "Feminism and Climate Change"

44:34 "Welcome to the Co-Dictatorship"

49:17 "Yeah, Well..."

52:11 "Garden, yes. MPDG, no."

So you're fifteen and just realized the planet is undergoing its sixth mass extinction and you've got two papers due, a math quiz, your parents are riding your ass for you to participate in more extra-curricular activities so you can go to your Dad's alma mater. What do you do?

KC & JP try to answer that question and others posed to us and the intertubes by woke teenagers and explore how to drop out before you've dropped in.

GRANOLA SHOTGUN POST REFERENCED

https://granolashotgun.com/2019/05/16/24-58/

Plant of the Episode:

Toothache Plant AKA: Acmella Oleracea, Paracress, Sichuan Buttons, Buzz Buttons (our favorite), Ting Flowers, and Electric Daisy

SKITS:

KC the Substitute Teacher ( 01:00:32 )

Teenage Market Garden ( 01:09:53 )

O-thou dearest SCIENCE, what may we do to earn your salvation?!

KC was kicked out of Catholic school for asking too many questions; now 'science' keeps asking the wrong ones. A rubric for better science.

KC & JP have lost their faith.

Plant of the Episode:

- Red Malabar Spinach (Basella Alba)

EPISODE SPONSORS:

- Dick Blister's Used Mattress Emporium (01:11:17)

- Glyphosate for Breakfast (01:01:39)

SPECIAL SHORT:

- Beavis and Butthead Do Gardening (27:40)

SAMPLES:

- Leonardo DiCaprio from "Ice on Fire"

- Daphne Zuniga, Bill Pullman, & John Candy "Spaceballs"

KC & JP discuss how to navigate our current dystopia. Did you know you were living in your favorite dystopian trilogy? Our current world has all the ingredients: human misery, squalor, oppression, disease, poisonous food, noxious air, contaminated water, and of course, too many fucking people. It's easy to get distracted by collapse rabbit holes, but dropping out doesn't mean prepping for the (corporate) zombie apocalypse. It's more about living meaningfully, right now. Resilience is a bonus. But that's easy to forget.

News Broadcast:

Alex Hothouse of hothouseprisonwars.org 0:53:06

Behind the Scenes:

KC & JP get a boat 01:12:30

Plant of the day/week/month:

Longevity Spinach

So you want a wartime effort? Ready for sacrifice? KC & JP walk through what a wartime effort would really look like. Food rationing. Healthcare rationing. Tire rationing. ELECTRICITY rationing. Unlike the New York Times, there is no fucking around in the sinkhole.

Plant of the day (week): Pink thing also known as Spider Flower

Wartime Effort Slogan Focus Group 0:43:30

Amazon Prime Final Shipment 0:52:25

It's nearly impossible to try to build a sustainable life in an unsustainable world. Do you do the best you can even if that means irrigating your garden with water contaminated with lead? Fuck. JP surprises KC with 11 recent WTF moments which create some self-skepticism, some laughs, some anger, but mostly facepalm moments.

Episode Sponsor:

FLAVORCHEM!

Sword-Fork-Spork - 10:09

Wasabimallows - 51:41

Dropout with Jasmine Dale, because she and her husband Simon never really did the first world, anyway.

LINKS:

http://beingsomewhere.net/

KC & JP visit their bioregion's annual pink moon celebration to get some tips on how to survive this clusterfuck.

Mission: go put your hands in the dirt and grow some shit.

Gardening is the most impactful direct action you can take. Feeling despair? Broke? Sick? Tired of signing petitions and marching and taking place in sanctioned protests?

Stick your boot in the ground and drop in some seeds. Eat the food around you. Drop out. For reals.

INTRO: Paul Harvey 2035: So God Made a Fuck You Gardener (0:00)

GARDENING OLYMPICS BROADCAST (1:07:17)

JA from the UK also dropping some knowledge (44:20 & 1:24:12)

Sure, art is dead... or something. But what role can marginalized (cough) artists play in helping visualize what's ahead? No matter where or what calamities arise, creative thinkers will be needed.

12:12 JA from the UK reveals the truth about Banksy

31:23 NPR Gross Air Weekend: Terri Fresh speaks with Elka Bellweather on her new book "My Year Running Free with the Wolfkittens."

45:54 Bill Burr's an Environmental Champion of funny.

01:10:25 NPR Morning Edition: The Blue Line that has ravaged a community.

*episode photo courtesy JK from the CA taken in the AK