Media Savvy Moms

Learn how to create a safe place where you can talk to your kids about anything--even pornography!

At Media Savvy Moms, we have 8 boys between the two of us, and at one time or another our kids have been obsessed with all things construction: trucks, videos, books, birthday parties, even a construction-truck theme park in New Jersey!

When we think about difficult talks, we like to compare our “safe place” to a construction site. (This analogy actually came from Melody’s psychologist during her divorce!) This figurative “construction site” is a place where we can throw out ideas, dig deep, bring out heavy equipment, demolish stuff--even bust out the dynamite if needed! Nothing is off limits! What a great environment for open chats about pornography! 

Here are 3 steps to help you create a safe place--a “construction site”--for difficult discussions with your kids:

1. Build a foundation of trust
2. Make your child the foreman
3. Keep on truckin’

I. Build a Foundation of Trust

-An awesome relationship with our kids is better/stronger/more reliable than any filter we can install.

-If your child comes to you with an issue, pause your instincts to react, lecture, scold, or jump to conclusions.

-”We have two ears and one mouth” so listen more than you talk!

-Kids will go where they feel safe: Be the safe place and the first source of information when it comes to tough topics like pornography.

-If you don’t teach your kids about pornography then who will? Kids on the bus/playground! Remember … we want the “Construction Site” to be in our HOME, not somewhere else--like a friend’s house or school or the playground.

-Create bonding experiences through both positive and negative moments.

-Use everyday opportunities like doing chores, driving, and bath time to teach.

-The “Construction Site” can be physical place or just an attitude of openness in your family.

-It’s never too early or too late--start NOW! [We talk about this in “Beware of the Rattlesnakes!”]

Check out Fortify, a program specifically designed to help teens and adults reach long-lasting freedom from pornography. (Free for teens!)

II. Make Your Child the Foreman

-Put on your hard hat! It may get messy! But that’s ok. It’s a construction site.

**Most important thing: No matter what your child brings up, Don’t panic!

-Be aware of your body language and both verbal/nonverbal cues.  

-Practice saying uncomfortable sex/pornography/anatomy words [We talk about this in “Get off the Fence.”] We are going to say those words in our construction site, and we’re going to be ok with it!

-Something to consider: What if our kids are shy? We may need to introduce hard topics.

-In our construction site we can: bring up hard topics & receive hard topics they bring to us

III. Keep on Truckin’

-This “safe place” is a perpetual construction site--never finished. The “porn talk” is never finished!

-Put up the “under construction” sign and leave it up, so that kids know they can come and go anytime!

-Build, dig, demolish, and rebuild--all ok! Remember the work crews in the Lego Movie that build all day and then demolish at the end of the day, give three cheers, and then start again the next day. Just go for it! Keep on truckin’.

-We’re not aiming for a perfect building; there’s not a perfect master plan.

-Maybe blueprints (great article, book, advice) will come and go.

-Don’t get stressed--be flexible.

-Just keep working together. Remember to be a team.

CHALLENGE: Pick a tough topic. Look for an opportunity in the next 3 days to tackle a subject that is challenging for you — and start building. If one doesn’t naturally come up, it’s time think outside the box and “create a moment.”

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

Do you have a question? If you have a topic you’d like featured on the show, let us know.

Social Media: @MediaSavvyMoms

Visit: www.mediasavvymamas.com

Email: [email protected]

In today's show, we'll outline 3 strategies to help parents overcome the suffocating fear of having a child who is addicted to pornography.

Everyone knows when the cabin pressure drops, you must put your own oxygen mask on before attending to others. That’s tough advice for parents to swallow.

Even in the best of times we’re apt to put our kids’ needs ahead of our own. But when it comes to helping a child let go of a compulsion to use pornography, it’s crucial that we have a dependable source of air to help us maintain steady breathing patterns. After all, it’s going to be important to take regular calming breaths as we face the journey ahead.

Related article: My Child Needs Help: 6 Practical Ways to Put Your Oxygen Mask On First

Here are 3 strategies to help you “keep breathing” when you discover your child has a porn problem:

1. Find help at home
2. Find help in the community
3. Find help online

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

[For complete show notes visit ParentsAware.info]

What is the right age to start talking to kids about pornography? Listen and find out!

Marilyn loves to go hiking in the Rocky Mountains with her family. But every time they go, her husband gives them the “snake talk,” warning them about the venomous snakes lurking in the woods and sunning themselves on the big rocks. So how does this tie in with pornography? If your tablet had rattlesnakes in it, would you hand it to your kids without telling them about the rattlesnakes? For that matter … What is the right age to start having these difficult talks with our kids?

WHEN should we start talking to our kids about pornography?

TALK YESTERDAY. If possible, prep your kids before they face the “rattlesnakes.”

Check out Fortify, a program specifically designed to help teens and adults reach long-lasting freedom from pornography. (Free for teens!)

TALK TODAY. Start where you are NOW and go from there.

TALK "TOMORROW." Just keep talking!

CHALLENGE: This week we want you to ponder on this question: “How is pornography like a rattlesnake?” Share your answers in the Comments, tell a friend what you learned, or share the podcast.

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

[For complete show notes visit ParentsAware.info]

In this episode, we'll give you 3 strategies to get "un-stuck" and start talking to your kids about pornography.

Parenting is hard work, and sometimes involves difficult discussions with our kids. For most folks, pornography is at the top of the list! We may worry … What if I say the wrong thing?

So instead we stay stuck on the fence. When it comes to porn, we waffle back and forth: To talk or not to talk? That is the question.

In this episode we give you 3 ways to get off the fence and start talking:

1. Admit out loud what feels uncomfortable
2. Appreciate the real cost of silence
3. Put yourself in your child’s brain

Check out Fortify, a program specifically designed to help teens and adults reach long-lasting freedom from pornography. (FREE for teens!)

CHALLENGE: Make a goal this week to have a conversation about pornography. If you feel brave, talk to your kids. If you need a warm-up, practice with a friend or spouse.

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

[For complete show notes visit ParentsAware.info]