Memoirtistry

My marriage conditioned me to believe I couldn’t live the life I want—that I was to live the life someone else wanted. I was "in service" to my ex-husband's calling. 

It’s difficult for me to verbalize my wants, but I thought I would try. Here goes! 

I want a full time job to provide financial stability while I attend art school. There; I said it and I typed it. It is so.

Updates:

If you're interested in meeting Wordw_tch for an Intuitive Mentoring session, you can schedule time here.

Follow @wordw_tch on Instagram.

Peruse the art I have for sale, or buy a signed copy of my book!

I’m not sure I ever actually introduced myself in Season 1, I just started rambling my thoughts—the deep ones, the dark ones, and the light-filled ones that showed up like fireflies.

Welcome to Season 2! It's gonna be a good one because I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!

Updates:

I'm blogging again. To learn more about what I do, head on over to Memoirtistry.com/News

My artwork can be purchased in-store at Olyphant Art & Supply and will soon be available at BOOM Gallery in Olympia.

Read my first book if you like to read about divorce! I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait

Book two is coming together... it's titled I'm Not Wearing Any Pants: A Diagnosis

Need an editor? I'm accepting clients!

Meet Wordw_tch - she's also accepting clients!

Join me for a walk while I free associate my looming 40th birthday.

A summary of my scattered thoughts:

Happy Birthday to me, it's fall in July.

I quit another job.

Get your eyes checked, Liz.

40: The Middle of Life & Death Thoughts

I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be but I'm exactly where I want to be.

I feel different inside of myself.

You don't know until you know, you know?

I have cavities, and inside my cavity is energy.

My job exacerbated my sexual trauma.

My creative flow is a leaky faucet.

My study of love is leading me to more love. I can't help but find what I need right now. It feels good to trust my intuition. A good read: All About Love by Bell Hooks

I feel different because I'm centered in myself.

I don't feel scared of dying.

Is morbidity a word? (Hint: it is. Am I using it right? Probably not.)

I'm doing me; I'm being me: I'm fully expressing.

I feel I've accomplished much. My life is full of color. I'm living up to my potential, promise. 

I know my worth. I know my worth. I know my worth. (Worth sounds heavy.)

I'm writing more; there is a second book in process and it is unraveling from the insides of my body onto the page.

My life is a 52-card pickup game.

I bought an Oura ring. I want to know my body mechanics. My body is my science experiment.

Direct Eye Contact!

I might be allergic... to the daisies I keep picking?

I'm making a 40 list--of things I know, things I've learned through experience.

Left Brain/Right Brain = Editor/Writer; I am a whole Artist.

I fumble through some body part poetry. I have a painter's heart.

I feel like I'm living in a moving set. Like that Jim Carrey movie I can't remember.

Do you have a librarian working overtime in your brain too?

Maybe I should write a children's book called See Liz Human.

I'm going to be 40 in two days. Wanna know my schedule of events? No? Too bad. I tell you anyway.

I still haven't gone kayaking. You can read about my first attempt in my book, I Was a Good Wife.

When a song can bring your soul into worship, it becomes more than just a song. You know?

The middle's end of a journey… because it'll never be over. 

My brain is a pinball machine. I’m sorting my traumas and sometimes this process takes time. I use creative outlets to keep me focused, and I make art to ease into--and through-- feelings.

I like to live at a slower pace; I ride the streams of consciousness so I can find the treasures in my subconscious—free association is easy for me. 

For Part 3, I begin to peel my next layer; and what surfaces is the trauma of religion. I sing a song I used to sing when I'd take the "stage" as a pastor's wife.

Watch the other parts on YouTube:

Part 1 - Sometimes processing looks like this.

Part 2 - Sometimes it looks like this.

I pat myself on the back more than once in this episode because I started my day by firmly and kindly setting boundaries. Good job, Liz!

Digestible nuggets from this episode:

I am worth protecting my time and energy. I don't have to play all of these societal games. I've chosen to adopt a schedule that supports my current--and future--inner growth. I'm ready to look at my trauma. I have set the stage of my life. I am prepared. 

This is the first time in my life that I feel permission and allowance--and I have the confidence and self-love--to show up and fight for me and my needs. I don't have to fit into a structure that does not work for me. I can create my own. This is how I live now. 

I'm not a brand loyalist and I will not be branded.

I'm learning to accept my [physical] smallness.

Words mean different things to different people. Words are no longer defined by their definitions rather, they are defined by how [the word] makes someone feel. It's clear to me now that we are all speaking our own languages, even if it sounds like we are speaking the same. Clarification is always required but nobody wants to ask. So, I have adopted the Teacher-Student Method in my approach to communication.. when interacting with humans who want to engage. In every conversation--where there is an equal exchange and respect is offered and humbly accepted--each party has the opportunity to teach something to the other which then allows each party to accept the opportunity to learn when the roles shift. It's a volley. I teach, you learn, then you teach, I learn. Repeat. I believe living takes practice and communication is key to living well, but we gotta help each other out!

Are you ready to find the treasures in your shit?

I think I learned responsibility by breaking the rules.

When you're a kid, you think being an adult is the coolest because you can do whatever you want! Then we grow up and stop doing what we want. Today, be a grownup kid. Drink chocolate milk!

I love interacting with my life. It's fun!

This is how I wrote I Was a Good Wife: I used my Instagram photos to map the chronology of my story; I chose 382 and then created 382 Google docs and wrote about each photo. Boom. A book!

My voice is so soft. I was at peace.

A few nuggets:

Follow me on Instagram to watch me... sing mostly.

Planned vs Inspired Action ... thoughts? 

I'm selling my art, because I'm an artist and that's what we do. You can purchase it here. 

I am learning to bite my tongue until I know what I mean to say; my current process [in the Creative Flow] is hidden because it requires it to be. I like sharing, but not everything is meant--or ready--to be shared.

Chapter Readings (starting at page 575 with Open Relationships from I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait)

Also, I still can’t believe I wrote a book.

I don’t know if I got the words to Blessed Assurance correct, and I know I didn't get the words to I'm a Little Hunk of Tin correct.

I have restructured my life; everything begins and ends with my mental health. I'm learning how to love myself so I can love others, and I can change paths whenever I want because my life is a Choose Your Own Adventure story.

You might be interested in reading this book if you love love like me: Love by Leo Buscaglia

Backslash comes out of my mouth funny. Check out my art in the Memoirtistry Shop.

This episode, I have an impromptu evening ritual with three candles and some rain while I free-associate (per usual).

1. Thank you, Past.

2. Hello, Present. (And meet Nicole...)

3. Be a Surprise, Future.

This one's a doozy. 

I talk about...

all the steps I'm taking at work and how I'm mining for story and what do I need and how do I express what I need and I'm getting comfy being me! and literally. exactly. there is purpose in movement and living on my own, let's go! and no more quarantining my truth in a single room. and tell me, what is something you've learned about yourself recently? I miss having a faith community (notice I don't name the worship singer, why didn't I just say her name? why am I still not saying it?) and familiar is Christianity and how I enjoy practicing a way of living that is challenging, that makes me try to be good and what is "being good" to you? I am seeking something to give me purpose, something I can't see but that I can feel. Is church really just the largest book club in the world? also, am I too self-aware for my own good? roles don't matter and what does it mean to practice sobriety? I'm just over here doing whatever it is that I want. we are always just practicing living. Be 'wheat. xoxo

I'm living my book notes, ya'll. Ain't that crazy?!

Who is paying attention--for real--ever?

Falling asleep early is the best.

Good tired.

Good job.

Good day.