Repair and Healing After Infidelity, Realize, Repent, The Gottman Method, then Go Forward
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The very first thing you must do:
Realize that pornography and masturbation is infidelity
Realize that your spouse didn’t decide that
God did:
[28] But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Find an altar of repentance, remember Simon the sorcerer, he saw the gift of the Holy Ghost and wanted to buy it.[21] Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God.
[22] Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.
[30] And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:
Spouse must go through 3 major stages: Drs John and Julie Gottman
Atonement
Attunement
Attachment5 Ways to Repair and Begin the Healing Process
Acknowledge the underlying cause
Most began because of emotional disconnect
Relationships during childhood manifest in adulthood
Commit to quit
Cut it off
Establish boundaries together
Honest discussions
Helps each partner understand
Communication is vital
Rebuilding trust and healing
Time
Joel 2:25 KJV
[25] And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.
Acknowledge the needs of your partner
Be vulnerable
Seek time and activity together
You have to be best friends again before you can be lovers
Seek marriage counseling
Not pastoral
Not individual counseling
Go to seminars and retreats
Pay for it
[3] He made us, and we are His. We are His people, the sheep of His pasture.
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