Welcome back to MenPlus40, and on today's agenda, we're exploring what's holding you back from enjoying a fulfilling relationship, keeping you single, or leading you to a cycle of short-lived relationships.
Let's dive right in.
Almost everyone has a checklist for their ideal partner. It could be a mental list, penned down on paper, or for the more ambitious, pinned up on their vision board. That's perfectly alright.
However,
It's rare to find people who have a list that caters to the desires of their potential partner, and if they do, it's mostly generic attributes.
So, let's engage in a simple exercise.
Grab a pen and paper, and jot down your list of wants and needs.
In another column, envision and write down what you believe your ideal partner would desire.
For the ladies, the inclusion of physical intimacy is off the table.
And for gents, let's bypass the 'good personality' line.
Remember.
While the "I'm the prize," "I'm the king/queen," or "I'm a high value individual" mindset may boost your ego, it's about as beneficial as a chocolate ashtray when it comes to securing a long-term relationship.
This is the essence of attraction.
You draw them in.
If your list only serves your interests, with all due respect, you'll end up pushing people away.
Remember, a relationship involves two individuals, not one.
This isn't a zero-sum game where one person's strategy is enforced at the expense of the other.
Otherwise, it's nothing more than a bad bargain.
Sounds severe?
Reflect on this. Would you prefer to face the discomforting truth and meet the right partner, or continue on a path that's leading you away from healthy relationships?
If progress is your aim,
you need to acknowledge that your partner has desires and needs.
And unless it's a same-gender relationship, their wants and needs are likely to differ from yours.
By this I mean, they may attach more value to some things than you do.
If you're incapable of understanding their perspective and lack empathy, you are almost certainly setting yourself up for a solitary life, a divorce, or an unhappy relationship.
But today, that's about to change.
Because a shift in perspective is key if you're aiming for a strong relationship and connection.
Let me clarify, I'm not advocating for placing her on a pedestal (I'll discuss this in a future episode, as many women dislike being placed on such a high stand, due to the fear of falling) or succumbing to pressure to meet unrealistic expectations.
Ladies, this isn't an invitation to become co-dependent and pamper him like a child. You're after a man, not a man-child.
You need to appreciate that your partner is an individual, with their own agency. They're not an extension of you or an accessory. Relationships are all about complementing each other.
Think in terms of polarity, Yin and Yang.
Now, let's return to your list.
Being sincere, you know what they desire since you've just made your list.
Are you prepared to fulfil your part?
If not, are you ready to put in the effort to reach that point?
Only you can respond to these questions.
Now, roll up your sleeves, as time favours no one.
Good luck, I'm rooting for you.
Until next time.
