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Introduction.
Have you ever had unwavering self-belief in your decisions or actions Probably when our children become by this kind of confidence naturally, it's what makes us brave enough to think we can do absolutely anything?
Unfortunately, as we grow older, we tend to lose self-belief by adulthood. We might not even realize our actions are driving our self-belief down. The sad thing is we need it. Confidence is what makes us try new things and grow as individuals. It's also what motivates teaches and helps us enjoy life. But more than this unwavering self-belief is what we need. Whenever we make decisions or jump to the next action. If we're looking for success to be inevitable. So why do we lose our self-belief and how can we get it back You're listening to voices from the past parents, teachers and other people of authority who are meant to be trusted at the same time.
They're human and sometimes say, or do the wrong thing. If we were given negative messages, when we were young, it could be very hard to get past those damaging labels. As an adult, it will bar you from having a self-belief. You can trust the fix, start recognizing errors in what was said and working through the trauma of what happened before. Realize people don't always know everything and remind yourself, these messages were wrong. Write affirmations or change your negative.
Self talk to a competing statement that builds up and doesn't tear down. You're listening to the wrong voices today. Unfortunately not every negative individual is safely relegated to the past. Sometimes were shot down by the friendly fire. Our well-meaning friends can sometimes be discouraging or worse, quick to point out our flaws or other perceived shortcomings, the fix, sorry, but you're going to have to realize people like this.
Aren't your friends. And they're certainly not helping try losing the toxic people in your life or at least limiting your exposure to them. Or if you do want to salvage the friendship, grab some courage and try confronting them about how you feel when they
Many people believe that positive thinking alone is not enough without adjusting your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to propel us towards success, but consider the opposite?
Limited thinking can be a burden for rapid success, whereas positive thinking is a blessing. But, here are several ways that we self-sabotage our success. If you aren’t sure what limited thinking is all about? Here are nine classic examples, and if you continue to engage in these reasoning patterns, you must first address them or suffer the consequences.
All or Nothing
This limited thinking pattern hinders your ability to see any distinction. Your focus is either a massive success or a humble failure. Routinely thinking like this holds us back by not allowing us to see progress or growth. It doesn’t let us find a “middle ground.”
Focus on The Negative
Negative thinking is one of the most discussed topics in the self-help world. We all know the negative impact this kind of thinking can have on our life. If you are the type of person whose mind filters all information through a negative lens, you won’t be as happy or prosperous as you deserve.
Overgeneralization
This thinking pattern is best described as taking a single incident and only drawing broad conclusions about it. For example, you fail at something so then decide it is unimportant, you are lousy, and you’ll never figure it out. Besides being overly cynical, this thought process isn’t logical. Try to stop thinking in absolutes.
Mind Reading
It is impossible to read someone’s mind. Even if you are highly intuitive, you can’t know for sure what someone is thinking. If you are the type of character that makes quick assumptions about others or presumes you know the “real reason” they acted in a certain way, then you might be suffering from this thinking pattern.
Fixed Mindset
A fixed mindset is an idea that things are black or white, and there is no reason to switch. You trust your abilities (which is great), but you never see a reason to expand or evolve. If you aren’t growing and progressing as a person, you are standing still, letting the world pass you by.
Stuck on How
This type of limited thinking is when you get too wrapped up in the idea of “how.” For example, how will you ever reach your goals? While having a plan is necessary, sometimes we can’t possibly know all the details of accomplishing something. You can’t allow this to prevent you from taking action, though.
Catastrophizing
Are you the type of person to assume the absolute worst of any situation? Does a minute obstacle in your path make you think the sky is falling? If so, you are likely suffering from catastrophizing. This limited thinking pattern makes us always expect the worst. If you don’t deal with it, you will be too paralyzed by fear and hesitation to grow truly.
A Case of The “Shoulds”
If you ever get caught up worrying about the way things “should” be instead of how they are, you might be dealing with this confined thinking pattern. You expect the universe and other people to act according to your preconceived standards and cannot adapt when they don’t.
Personalization
Not everything is about you. Did you need to hear that?
If so, you might be suffering from personalization.
This limited thinking pattern means you take everything personally. Not everything that happens to you is a personal slight or shortcoming. Sometimes things simply don’t work out, and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.
If you are one of those who commonly avoid tasks or specific situations, it could be for many reasons. But before you can work on solving or completing a job you’ve been putting off, it’s essential to narrow down what type of avoidance you are using to evade something in your life, so you can know how best to combat it.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “What you resist persists,” you have been introduced to the fundamental reason why your avoidance and how you cope can increase anxiety.
Emotional Or Cognitive Avoidance
This type of avoidance usually happens internally and can’t be seen by anyone other than the person experiencing the avoidance. When you, emotionally or cognitively, avoid something, it means that you avoid ruminating about it.
Cognitive avoidance is about avoiding internal events such as unpleasant or distressing thoughts or memories. With this type of avoidance, people usually suppress or reject the experience of certain kinds of thoughts that feel unpleasant or overwhelming.
This can mean either blocking out the thoughts when they come to mind or repressed memories that can be incredibly stressful.
Emotional avoidance is especially prominent after someone has experienced a trauma, and is very common in people living with PTSD. Sometimes this type of avoidance requires medical intervention to resolve.
Situational Avoidance
Situational avoidance is when you specifically avoid a particular person, place, or thing which may remind you of something which makes you unhappy. This frequently happens in friend groups when certain group members have had an altercation and don’t want to go to events where they may see the person they have disagreed with to avoid causing problems.
You may also notice this type of avoidance in a friend who constantly changes the subject when a particular topic comes up in conversation. This type of avoidance is much easier to see among your family and friends.
Conflict avoidance
This is a type of people-pleasing behaviour that typically arises from a deep-rooted fear of upsetting others.
Many of these tendencies can be traced back to growing up in a dismissive or hypercritical environment.
People who respond to conflict this way often expect unfavourable outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person’s reaction.
Here are more examples of how this may manifest:
1. Stonewalling or denying an issue exists by ignoring it
2. Fear of disappointing others
3. Deliberately sidestepping conversations
4. Silently resenting unresolved issues
Protective Avoidance
This type of avoidance is where you may go out of your way to protect yourself from feeling a particular emotion or experiencing something once again. For example, someone who was the victim of a robbery may obsessively check the locks on all the doors in the house to ensure they are locked.
This type of avoidance can be one of the most dangerous as it can quickly escalate to a more severe condition such as obsessive-compulsive disorder or even an eating disorder.
Substitution avoidance
Substitution avoidance is essentially trying to replace one feeling with another. A person might replace grief with anger or another emotion that feels more tolerable for her at the time. For instance, patients who are unable to cope with difficult emotions might binge on food, substances, sex, pornography, shopping, or gambling as a way to distract.
Numbing out is also a form of substitution avoidance.
“Emotional numbing is the mental and emotional process of shutting out feelings and may be experienced as deficits of emotional responses or reactivity,”
Avoidance is so natural and familiar that it can take complex forms and look completely different from one situation to the next. Avoidance isn’t always maladaptive, but in many cases involving internal events, it is not sustainable in the long run and can make things worse.
Read the full article.
The Importance of Integrity
When someone has integrity, they demonstrate ethical principles and sound morals. They strive to do what is right, no matter the situation, who's watching, or even how they feel. It is the foundation on which good relationships are built.
Integrity encourages trust and is a fundamental and value people look for when beginning any sort of relationship – professional or personal.
Research puts it amongst the top 5 values that employers look for when hiring.
· People searching for a romantic partner also hold integrity in high regard and look for it in their potential partners.
Integrity is a core quality required for a happy and successful life. It is the single most valuable character a person can develop to remarkably enhance all parts of their lives. When you decide to be a person of integrity and then commit to it, you will have taken the first step to a much more successful life.
A few other reasons' integrity is so important:
It Gives You Peace
Compromising your morals to succeed or feel like you belong can be incredibly exhausting. When you live a life of integrity, you're truthful and clear about who you are or your stance on a matter. Your day-to-day life becomes easier, and you are at peace because you do not have to worry about hiding anything.
It Builds Self-Trust
While research has shown that integrity is a leading factor that makes people gain the trust of others, living in integrity also builds self-trust.
This is because we do not question ourselves when we have integrity; we listen to our hearts and follow through on what we think is right. This makes us trust ourselves more, which boosts confidence in general.
We Gain the Trust and Respect of Others
When we live in integrity, we gain the respect and trust of everybody, especially people with whom we have a close relationship. People see you as dependable, reliable, and responsible for your actions when you live with integrity.
People will feel safer when you give your word. You gain influence, which generates trust. Integrity is especially important if you occupy a leadership position as it is a sign of efficient leadership that the community, clients, workers, and stakeholders look out for.
Excellent relationships
We often attract who we are. When you live with integrity, your relationships will reflect these good morals. Living in integrity shows commendable character, and you will naturally draw people to you. When you do not have to be dishonest or compromise on your values to have friends, you'll find out that you'll have better and high-quality relationships.
What does mindfulness mean to you?
Like many of us, we have heard about mindfulness. I knew that it implied paying attention, opening our awareness to what is happening now, in the present moment, and accepting it without judging or trying to control it.
Mindfulness is unquestionably linked to breathing, yet we all know how to breathe because it is a natural phenomenon and doesn't need the practice anyway?
Practising mindfulness by using your breath as the starting point and the focus not only opens your awareness to the present moment, which is what mindfulness is all about.
Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on past actions, you are focused solely on remaining in the present moment. Whereby, reduce rumination (say goodbye to overthinking everything!)
Mindfulness originates from ""sati,"" a word in the ancient Indian language of Pali, which roughly translates to present-moment awareness.
Mindfulness is commonly integrated into yoga and tai chi practices, as well as meditations.
There's mindful walking and even mindful showers. However, the most popular way to practice mindfulness is through meditation.
You probably already know that meditation is a practice in quieting your mind.
Breathing meditation
So what is mindful breathing?
Being aware of your breathing means observing and opening your consciousness to your breath: to your breathing in, and you're breathing out, without controlling or judging it in any way.
How to break a bad habit
Many of us have forgotten how to breathe well. By adulthood, we've picked up some unhelpful breathing habits. A baby breathes deep into its belly in a slow and steady rhythm. Stress can cause the body to go into a "fight or flight state, making us feel wired and ready for action.
One of the physiological changes we see happen in this state is that our breathing rate increases. Holding your stomach in, something lots of us do subconsciously can also make your breathing shallow, rapid or irregular.
Press rest
Breathing is an autonomic bodily function that we can also control. All breathing techniques involve a variation of three elements: inhaling, holding the breath, and exhaling. Depending on the desired effect, the pattern changes. The 4-7-8 Method, used for deep relaxation, involves inhaling for a count of four, holding the breath for seven, and exhaling for eight.
Read the full article... https://mentalhealthtraining.info/mental-health/mindfulness/mindfulness-2
Five Barriers to Critical Thinking
Critical thinking is essential to using your overall experience, background, common sense and other attributes to become more aware of how your efforts for success are being spent. When you have barriers to the critical thinking process, it can seriously harm your ability to move forward.
When you’re aware of these barriers, you can better overcome them and focus your thinking on what’s going to move you forward, rather than getting stuck behind a barrier – unable to move forward.
Here are five barriers that can impede the critical thinking process:
1. Thinking in Black or White – Some people ignore a situation’s complexities by thinking that there’s only one way to solve a problem. The problem is placed in a category, given a label, and that’s the only way that matters. Thinking in black and white comes from our need to have certainty in our lives, but it’s false logic to assume that everything is totally one way.
2. Thinking with the Ego – Ego-centrical thinking is thinking with a lack of understanding others wants and needs. It limits your thinking to only your point of view and doesn’t have room for others’ ideas. This thinking process is deeply embedded in our psyches, and it sometimes takes deliberate effort to overcome it.
3. Social Thinking – The drone mentality of social thinking only lets us see things in the way of the popular point of view – or the way that our spouse, companions, parents and friends think. Thinking outside the box is almost impossible when you have a barrier of social thinking, and it can greatly impede the critical thinking process.
4. Authoritative Thinking – Just because someone in authority says it’s true doesn’t mean it is. You’ve likely been swayed at one time or another by political leaders who say one thing is true, only to find out later that it was a lie or a misleading way of thinking.
The authority could be a person, peer group, institution or anything that makes you think that they’re right because they’re in an authoritative position.
5. Judgmental thinking – When you judge something or someone based on moral evaluation it’s usually done in haste and based on our past in some way – such as the way we were raised, educated or other values and mores. Judgmental thinking is usually non-rational thinking and can block understanding and insight about a person or an issue.
It’s important that we recognize our own barriers to the critical thinking process and replace those barriers with rational and reasoned thinking, and then make a concentrated effort to avoid them.
Empathy in Mental Health
Empathy is a natural human emotion, and it served our ancestors’ to thrive on being socially acceptable within society and sensitive to the needs of our offspring.
Now, anyone devoid of it strikes us as threatening or mentally ill.
For example, the absence of empathy is often considered one of the distinctive features of narcissism and violent behaviour is also known for its lack of compassion.
Empathy defined:
We cringe with imagined pain as we watch someone fall or cry at a stranger’s loss as we witness their sorrow; these are common humanistic responses. It is often described as “the ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes”. (LeCompte A (2000).
To be empathetic, we have to visualise what it would be like to be a mentality in the head of others or to walk a mile in their shoes.
Initially, empathy makes us reach out to others emotionally and then understand their situation and treat them with kindness.
Some of you may recognise this as good old morals or bedside manner within the medical profession, but there is indeed a link between empathy and quality of care (Huggard, 2003).
Martin Clunes adequately displayed this as Doc Martin tribulations with his absence of altruism and fear of blood (hemophobia) contributed to some amusing encounters and sympathetic groans from the viewers in the British TV series that beggars belief.
Alternatively, as our stress hormone kicks into survival mode, our empathic nature then shuts down in the heat of the moment, focusing only on our particular pain and the innate need for self-preservation.
However, this simplistic approach is questionable if you look at personality traits.
Some people, known as empaths, have such high empathy that they seem to take on the feelings of others, and their cortisol response is undoubtedly different in this case. They often respond more strongly to the pain and emotional distress others experience.
The mental load of feeling what everyone around you feels can also become too much and cause an increase of cortisol within the person.
Empaths share all the traits of Dr Elaine Aron’s “Highly Sensitive People” or HSPs. Empaths are like sponges that absorb all the stress surrounding them, making them vulnerable to adrenal fatigue.
Learn more: https://mentalhealthtraining.info/mental-health/empathy
As a child, the world is a magical place full of all sorts of possibilities. One minute you are a five-year-old in the playground, the next, you are a queen in her tower reigning over all the other children on the playground.
These days were so great, so why do we lose our imagination as they age?
You Figure Out What Will Never Happen
The main reason you will become less imaginative as you age is that as you learn more about the world around you and what is or isn't possible, this affects your creativity.
For example, when you are a child and think you can become a ballerina one day, well, that will have you spinning all over the living room! As you age, take dance lessons, and learn you are indeed not talented at dancing, well suddenly that dream goes away, as do you creatively imagining that you will one day become a ballerina.
You Adapt Social Norms
Besides just discovering several things in life that will never happen, you also begin to adapt to social norms as you age. Unfortunately, running around your house pretending you are a wizard or warlock isn't part of the social norms of life. Sometimes, this realization can be embarrassing, like finding out you are the only one who still plays with toys during break time. Events like this can lead you to leave imaginative play and your imagination behind to fit into the world around you.
You Forget How To Be Imaginative
To top it all off, as you are learning the truth and adopting social norms, you spend less time being creative and imaginative. Like any other skill in this world, the less you practice it, the more you begin to lose it.
Becoming less imaginative is a self-perpetuating cycle as you age. It is easy to see imagination in children. It makes up most of their playtime. Once they begin to grow older, they'll play less using imagination and more with toys or in front of electronic devices.
Sadly, humans lose their imagination as they age, but it is the unfortunate truth. It happens because of a combination of learning how the world works, adapting to their environment, and forgetting how it feels to be imaginative. At some point, if you don't change now, you likely won't be very imaginative at all.
Self-discipline is an important skill every person who wants to achieve more in life should possess. Self-discipline is essential in every aspect of life. Even though most people recognize the benefits of self-discipline, very few do something to reinforce and grow this beneficial skill.
Contrary to some beliefs, self-discipline is not being harsh to yourself or living a restrictive lifestyle. Self-discipline also means self-control. It is a sign of inner strength and control of your actions, and your reactions. Self-discipline provides the power to stick to hard decisions, and follow them without changing your mind. This means self-discipline is an important requirement for achieving vital goals.
One of the main characteristics of self-discipline is the capability to reject pleasure and immediate enjoyment in favour of greater success, which is gained by spending time and effort.
Why self-discipline is important
The possession of self-discipline helps you to continue with your plans and decisions until you achieve them. It also displays as an inner strength that helps you to overcome addictions, laziness, and procrastination.
Self-discipline is an important ingredient for success. It is the ability not to give up, regardless of setbacks and failures. In fact, it is an important pillar of stable, long-term success. It is a skill that will help you understand the importance of life.
Life presents problems and challenges on the path to success. In order to act above those challenges, you must act with determination and perseverance. Lack of self-discipline may lead to problems such as failure, relationship problems, and health issues.
Just as some people have weak muscles, they can become strong with training. It’s the same with self-discipline. You can develop and strengthen self-discipline, like any other skill, through training. You can develop self-discipline at any time.
Development of self-discipline will help you:
• Avoid carelessness.
• Fulfil promises you make.
• Overcome bad behaviours such as laziness and procrastination.
• Engage in good behaviours like going to the gym, swimming or taking a walk even when your mind tells you to stay at home.
• Stay focused on your diet and resisting the temptation of eating unhealthy food.
• Waking early in the morning.
• Overcome the bad habit of watching too much television.
• Start reading motivational books, and implementing what you’ve learned.
• Meditating regularly.
If you keep working and developing the skill, you will become stronger. On the other hand, if you do not challenge yourself in life, you will not gain self-discipline.
The current understanding of the development of self involves an interaction between nature and nurture.
We are born with certain characteristic elements that have been predetermined and embodied within our genes.
Still, probably the more meaningful contribution to our adult character comes from life experiences, especially social experiences.
Amongst theorists, this could then trigger their genetic pool associated with their learning capacity and cognitive function. And a large body of evidence supports the conclusion that individual differences in most, if not all, are influenced by genetic factors.
One theory of personality development is the learning approach based on the classical and operant conditioning principles.
Operant conditioning suggests that any behaviour that results in a reward is more likely to be repeated, whereas punishments decrease the likelihood of the behaviour; this explains how any behaviour is acquired and how we get our temperament characteristics.
For example, individuals might develop the personality trait of kindness towards others because they are rewarded when displaying such behaviour.
Learn more: Development of personality
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