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SPINSTER MERSH from Nightwave Radio has gone from a Crypto Guy, to a Gun guy, to a Gym Guy, to a Gas Station Guy, to a... CAT LADY? In his never ending quest to get high, Mersh stole a cat from a Circle K parking lot, presumably in order to huff its butt-steez and kitty-trip on its farts. Oh, and also to GRIFT, because of course. But he won't get away with his household pet circus so easily because a random woman named Eliana has called him out on using his newfound feline slave for clicks and to make a quick buck. With the QUEEN'S good name bes-mersh-ed, the Eternal Caller takes to the airwaves to bemoan to his paypigs that a WOMAN ON THE INTERNET™ was mean to him. And in his most desperate round of ULTRA-PROJECTION yet, Mersh criticizes the lady for using a cat to "clout chase." Has Hollywood Mersh finally met his equal in the form of another crazy cat lady, or will she turn out to not be real like all the rest of the women in his life? Either way, he finally has some pussy all to himself.

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