The Megacanners are back, and they're not the only ones. After a busy summer of trying to sound important in America, Friedrich Merz is back in Berlin to ring in his so-called autumn of reforms, by which he means cutting the welfare state and making poor people join the army. Meanwhile, Robert Habeck, not wishing to rattle his chains as a ghost in parliament anymore, takes a swipe at nemesis Markus Söder and his affinity for sausages before disappearing to California. See ya mate!

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