Message to Our Kids

Today, I want to talk to you about discernment. A few weeks ago, I touched upon this topic in one of our previous episodes, emphasizing the importance of spiritual guidance to distinguish truth from falsehood. Today, I'll take you on a journey, connecting the dots and offering you a breakthrough perspective on life.

Let's talk about the power of emotional connection, which often happens through music. We all have those songs that deeply resonate with us, regardless of the genre. They touch our souls with their heartfelt lyrics and profound meaning. It's through these songs that we create connections based on shared emotions.

However, we must be cautious when it comes to song lyrics. While they may seem to understand us, they can also trap us in darkness if we lack discernment. If we're in pain and believe we shouldn't take responsibility for our partner's actions, these lyrics might resonate, leading us to blame them entirely. But unfiltered exposure to such lyrics can shape our responses in unintended ways.

An immature person lacking self-awareness might adopt a mindset that absolves them of blame and pushes their partner away. This mindset only deepens the divide in their relationship. It's crucial to exercise discernment and not let lyrics dictate our responses.

"Music, that's the science or the sense of proper modulation, is likewise given by God's generosity to mortals having rational souls in order to lead them to higher things." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Wow, it's been seven years since I met my beautiful wife, Laura and she will be joining me again today.

I want to share with you a personal journey of self-awareness and growth that I've been on with my beautiful wife, Laura.

It all began with a realization that I had been chasing money, thinking it would bring me happiness and meaning. But I reached a point where I knew there had to be more to life than that. And I made a decision. I said, "I'm done. I'm done chasing money just for the sake of it. It feels empty and meaningless. I want to spend the next 42 years of my life doing what God has called us to do."

Laura's battle with breast cancer further reinforced this new direction in our lives. It made us realize the importance of supporting couples and individuals who are facing similar challenges. Going through our own journey again, reliving those difficult moments, was emotionally challenging for both of us. But it also reminded us of the strength and resilience that Laura displayed during that time. It was a wake-up call for me to be more attentive and supportive.

We have decided to document our journey and provide guidance to those who need it. Our focus will be on working with couples and individuals going through cancer, offering them hope and healing. We've experienced firsthand the darkness and loneliness that comes with this battle, not just for the patients but also for their families. That's why finding support is crucial.

"Bad times, hard times, this is what people keep saying; but let us live well, and times shall be good. We are the times: Such as we are, such are the times." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

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The game we're playing is all about finding that equilibrium between light and dark. I've witnessed it happen to both men and women. We often talk about this eternal dance between the two, like the yin and yang symbol. It represents the constant ebb and flow, the dance we engage in daily with reality. This dance defines our human experience. We navigate through life, relationships, and ourselves, constantly shifting between light and dark.

In today's world, being spiritual or expressing our beliefs can be challenging. There's a fear of being judged, labeled, or deemed crazy. People dismiss it as something made up, just figments of our imagination. And that fear has only contributed to our collective slumber. It's astonishing to realize how deeply humanity has been sedated over thousands of years.

But here's the truth—I've come to understand that the journey from darkness to light is where transformation happens. It's in the darkness that our pain surfaces, wounds from the past that need healing. By facing and healing that pain, we create space for light to enter. And as we emerge from that dark forest, we step into the light feeling freer, more connected, and deeply in love.

"The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of Holy desire. You do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when he comes, you may see and be utterly satisfied." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

I'm joined today by the love of my life, Laura. We've received so much amazing feedback from our previous episode together. It seems like you guys really resonated with our conversation. It's incredible how God is guiding us through this journey.

Today, we want to dive into a topic that's prevalent in relationships: the interplay of light and darkness. We've been discussing this theme in recent episodes because it's such an important aspect of our work with couples. When darkness creeps into a relationship, it affects everything, from communication to parenting.

In particular, we want to address a situation where a wife retreats from her husband. It's crucial for men to understand that this is not the time to become defensive. It might seem counterintuitive, but let's explore it further.

In summary, retreating may give a false sense of protection, but it only exacerbates the issues and prevents us from experiencing true freedom and authentic connections. Remember, it's not about blame but about recognizing the patterns and working together to create a united, fulfilling relationship.

"Trials and tribulations offer us a chance to make reparation for our past, faults, and sins. On such occasions, the Lord comes to us like a physician to heal the wounds left by our sins. Tribulation is divine medicine." - Saint Augustine of Hippo

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today I talk about the power of unity and standing strong. These past few weeks have been eye-opening and incredibly interesting as I've witnessed the couples we've worked with navigate the challenges we've guided them through. From the very beginning, my wife and I made a decision that we wouldn't face these battles alone but together. We adopted a mantra of sorts:

"We don't fight alone, we fight together. We don't go alone, we go together."

When we stand united, our home is filled with light, and we can rise above any adversity. But if we choose to fight alone and disengage from our marriage, darkness creeps in, dividing our house and jeopardizing everything we hold dear.

Each spouse blames the other for all their problems. The darkness that separates them prevents them from coming together in the light; instead, they remain divided.

If anyone claims their life is all rainbows and butterflies, beware. Stepping into their world will reveal the shallowness beneath the surface. Without a deep connection to faith and spirituality, someone lacking faith will struggle to fight back the darkness that tears their family apart. This message is different; it's a declaration of war. I'm not suggesting we create more conflict, but we need to realize that the true war is not against our spouse.

If you're listening to this and it resonates with you, consider this as a direct message from God. This is your moment, and if you let it slip away, it will be lost forever. Don't allow your family to be cursed by darkness, and don't let your spouse fight her battles alone. You must stand by her side. That's all I have for you today.

"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels." - St. Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today I want to talk to you about something weighing heavily on my mind. Lately, there has been a noticeable shift in the intensity of the messages we share in public spaces, as well as within my coaching calls and personal life. This intensity stems from the realization of what truly happens within relationships. If only you could see it from my perspective, or better yet, experience it firsthand. It's absolutely chilling how dark forces work against love and unity within families. These forces are destructive and can tear apart the very foundation of a family tree.

I know this all too well because I've experienced it multiple times in my own life until I finally became aware of it. It isolated me, pulled me away from my family, and made me retreat even from my beloved children. It's fascinating how this darkness manifests in our lives. Our inner struggles reflect in our external actions, and vice versa. The devil uses this paradox to deceive us.

However, this couldn't be further from the truth, as God doesn't make us unlovable or unworthy. We are born into this world from a place of love, and that's who we are.

"My soul is like a house, small for you to enter, but I pray you to enlarge it. It is in ruins, but I ask you to remake it. It contains much that you will not be pleased to see: this I know and do not hide. But who is to rid it of these things? There is no one but you. " - Saint Augustine of Hippo

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today, I want to talk to you about something deeply personal and relatable: the journey of creating safe spaces within ourselves to let our inner struggles and emotions find expression.

When I began my own path of self-development, I realized there were aspects of myself that needed attention. These were the parts that, if left unaddressed, would wreak havoc in my life. It wasn't about defeating or eradicating these aspects; it was about finding healthy boundaries and containers for them to exist and be understood.

As men, we often embark on a journey to ignite the fire within us, to awaken our true selves. But let me tell you, it's not about suppressing our anger, denying our sadness, or magically fixing everything overnight. It's not about eradicating the darkness within our relationships or expecting life to become a constant parade of rainbows and unicorns.

In reality, we often find ourselves trapped in environments that demand a facade of happiness and conformity. Everyone appears to have it together, wearing corporate clothes and plastering smiles on their faces. But deep down, we're all just putting on a show. It's exhausting.

If you're listening to this podcast episode, it's time to consider creating your own safe container—a place where you can share what's truly going on within you. As a reverend, I'm committed to getting to the core of the matter, to uncovering the pain hidden beneath the surface. I dig deep beneath the superficial corporate facade that often dominates conversations. I've witnessed men drowning their sorrows in alcohol because they can't face their reality. They're trapped in darkness, and the key to their prison lies in simply speaking the truth about their lives.

"HOPE has two beautiful daughters: their names are ANGER and COURAGE. Anger at the way things are and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today, I have my amazing wife, Laura Norman, joining me, and we're having a real conversation about life, love, and parenting. Opening up and sharing our experiences isn't easy for me, but I want to talk about something we touched on earlier—being the one who loves more in a relationship.

Laura mentioned how it would be wonderful if our partners loved us just as intensely as we love them. In her past relationships, she often felt like she was the one who loved more.

In this episode, we express our desire for a deep connection and equal love from our partners, highlighting the profound impact it has on our happiness and sense of purpose. Our connection inspires us to reciprocate love and make every moment count.

We also discuss the detrimental effects of disconnection, leading to frustration and chaos in our relationship and affecting our children. We emphasize the importance of not going through life alone and the constant effort required to maintain a deep connection. We acknowledge the need to remain connected and reflective, repairing the relationship when conflicts arise.

Being married to someone and desiring a deep connection requires constant effort. Nothing is set in stone, and we are only human. Sometimes we need to repair it multiple times a day, even within the same hour. But we can't give up. Choosing to be married means constantly restarting and working towards that connection we desire.

For couples struggling in their relationships, you need to hear our story and understand that you can recreate a similar bond by learning from the systems and processes we have put in place over the years. It's about realizing that we can't do it alone and that we don't want to. We want to be together in every aspect of life—business, marriage, parenting—because we genuinely love and enjoy each other's company. Anyone can achieve this feeling; you just need to learn and implement the tools we have developed.

"In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." - Ephesians 5:28

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today I want to share something personal with you. We're diving deep into the challenges of marriage and how it can lead us down a difficult path. This week, our focus is on identifying the darkness within our relationships and recognizing the warning signs before it's too late.

Many men, including myself in the past, tend to sleepwalk through their marriages. They're unaware that problems are brewing beneath the surface. I used to brush off my wife's emotions, thinking she was overreacting, and I'd find solace in distractions like video games, cigarettes, and beer. It didn't matter where we lived or what our circumstances were; I always found a way to escape.

Being oblivious to the issues, I never imagined myself listening to a podcast like this. I used to blame my ex-wife for everything, believing she was the problem. I would call her crazy and use that as an excuse to disconnect and escape. It was a pattern of avoidance that ultimately pushed us apart.

As a result, my wife stopped opening up to me about how she felt. She grew tired of always initiating conversations and trying to connect. If I wasn't careful, I would mistake the absence of arguments or problems as a sign that everything was fine. In reality, our relationship had deteriorated into a transactional, roommate-like existence, devoid of true connection.

The purpose of this podcast is to prevent such situations from occurring. We aim to reach couples before they reach this point of no return. Whether you're a wife listening and your husband is in that sleepwalking state, or if you know someone in a similar situation, please share this podcast with them. We're all about transformation and engaging in spiritual warfare, fighting against the forces that seek to divide us.

"If you keep silent, keep silent by love: if you speak, speak by love; if you correct, correct by love; if you pardon, pardon by love; let love be rooted in you, and from the root, nothing but good can grow. Love and do what you will." - Saint Augustine.

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today I want to share a personal and heartfelt message with you. See, when I talk about divorce or separation not being the solution, I'm talking about the darkness that resides within both you and your partner. You might believe that leaving this person, whom you think is toxic, a narcissist, or abusive, will solve everything. Every couple I've worked with starts by venting and unloading all the issues and problems that have accumulated over time. It's hours and hours of pouring out the pain and frustration we've kept inside for far too long.

So as you follow along with our journey, know that we are not here to encourage separation or divorce. We're not trying to lead people in that direction. We don't want you to say, "You got divorced, so what you're saying is invalid." No, that's not the case. The truth is your darkness, along with your spouse's darkness, will follow you into every relationship you enter. Changing partners won't solve the underlying issues. You'll wake up one day to find yourself in the same situation as before, feeling lost and wondering why all your relationships have failed.

So please understand that divorce and separation won't save you. They will only add to the stack of failures if you're not willing to face the darkness within yourself. Don't be afraid to confront the shadow, open up, and speak the truth. It may seem like you've processed it all with therapists or counselors, but if the same problems keep showing up, it's a clear sign that true healing hasn't occurred. It's not just therapy you need; it's spiritual healing because you've become disconnected from your soul.

If you know someone going through a rough time in their relationship, please share this message with them. Whether it's a husband shutting his wife out or a woman struggling in her marriage, they might find the spark they need to fight for their love.

I received a message from God on the beach, and it applies not just to me but to all couples out there: "Don't go alone, go together." This is a call to stand united against the forces that seek to divide us from the people we love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead