Today I want to share a personal and heartfelt message with you. See, when I talk about divorce or separation not being the solution, I'm talking about the darkness that resides within both you and your partner. You might believe that leaving this person, whom you think is toxic, a narcissist, or abusive, will solve everything. Every couple I've worked with starts by venting and unloading all the issues and problems that have accumulated over time. It's hours and hours of pouring out the pain and frustration we've kept inside for far too long.
So as you follow along with our journey, know that we are not here to encourage separation or divorce. We're not trying to lead people in that direction. We don't want you to say, "You got divorced, so what you're saying is invalid." No, that's not the case. The truth is your darkness, along with your spouse's darkness, will follow you into every relationship you enter. Changing partners won't solve the underlying issues. You'll wake up one day to find yourself in the same situation as before, feeling lost and wondering why all your relationships have failed.
So please understand that divorce and separation won't save you. They will only add to the stack of failures if you're not willing to face the darkness within yourself. Don't be afraid to confront the shadow, open up, and speak the truth. It may seem like you've processed it all with therapists or counselors, but if the same problems keep showing up, it's a clear sign that true healing hasn't occurred. It's not just therapy you need; it's spiritual healing because you've become disconnected from your soul.
If you know someone going through a rough time in their relationship, please share this message with them. Whether it's a husband shutting his wife out or a woman struggling in her marriage, they might find the spark they need to fight for their love.
I received a message from God on the beach, and it applies not just to me but to all couples out there: "Don't go alone, go together." This is a call to stand united against the forces that seek to divide us from the people we love.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Blessings on your path,
Rev. Benjamin Norman
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