Message to Our Kids

Today I want to share a deeply personal story with you. But before we dive in, I want to take a moment to acknowledge someone very special to me—my wife, Laura. Today is her birthday, June 3, 2023 and I just want to say, happy birthday, Laura!

Now, let's talk about relationships and the journey we all go through. You see, there are moments in life that shape us, and for me, one of those moments happened when I was just a young boy attending a powwow. These gatherings were incredible, filled with vibrant dances and a rich cultural atmosphere. It was there that I first felt a spark of curiosity about spirituality and faith, which would stay with me throughout my life.

During the powwows, there was a dance called the two-step, where girls would choose the boys to dance with. And that's when I experienced my first love. We exchanged letters and made occasional phone calls, but the distance between us made things challenging.

But things took a sudden turn. She called me one day, explaining that she needed someone physically present for her. Being in a long-distance relationship, I couldn't fulfill that role, and it left me confused and hurt. I tried desperately to reach out to her, but her mom prevented me from contacting her. It felt like the end of our story, and life moved on.

Years later, out of the blue, she reappeared in my life through Facebook. I had recently married my ex-wife, and it seemed like a tragic twist of fate. We started talking, and she revealed a painful event from her past that completely changed the truth I had known. It shifted my perspective and made me realize there was so much more to her story. If only she had shared it earlier, things might have been different.

That experience had a profound impact on me. It made me believe that I was unworthy of love, and it influenced how I approached relationships afterward. But then, my wife, Laura, entered my life. She has this incredible gift of empathy, a deep understanding of others' emotions. She broke through the walls I had built around myself, awakening a feeling of love that I hadn't experienced in years. She brought me back to life, and I'm forever grateful.

Today, on Laura's birthday, I want to honor her. She holds a unique place in my heart, and I don't know where I would be without her. So, if you know her, please join me in wishing her a happy birthday. Laura, you saved my life, and I will always cherish and protect your heart. I love you, and thank you for being my everything.

"Let us love since that is what our hearts were made for." - Saint Therese of Lisieux

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today, I want to talk to you about something that hits close to home for many of us couples out there. It's about conquering time and creating the marriage of our dreams.

We all know that life has its ups and downs. Just like the sun rises and sets every day, our relationships go through seasons of light and darkness. It's inevitable, and we can't escape it. However, what we can do is prepare for it and train ourselves during the good times so that we're ready to face the darkness when it comes knocking on our door.

Sometimes everything seems perfect in a relationship. The connection is strong, our lives are thriving, and we're creating the life we've always wanted. But then, unexpectedly, something happens, and we find ourselves thrown back into darkness. It could be a challenge with our extended family, a crisis with one of our children, or something else entirely. The darkness comes, and we must be prepared to face it.

To truly thrive, we need to master time. We need to break free from this cycle of just surviving and start living in the present, appreciating the connection and love between us. I believe that a lack of connection lies at the heart of many struggling relationships. We can't rely solely on logical discussions to foster connection. True connection comes from emotional experiences shared between two people. It's a deep, loving bond that words alone can't describe.

We have the power to rewrite our stories and let go of victimhood. We mustn't limit God's ability to heal and transform us.

"Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's Love, and the future to God's providence." - Saint Augustine of Hippo

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today, I want to talk to you about something personal—knowing your true identity.

Eastern traditions like Buddhism, often emphasize finding balance within ourselves. But what happens when we find ourselves trapped in the darkness, lingering there for years? Some people never even make it to this stage; they remain lost and disconnected from the possibility of stepping into the light. These lost souls may appear to be acting in hurtful or disrespectful ways, but what I see is someone who is disconnected from their true selves. This even applies to fathers who haven't been present in their children's lives. It's not that they don't care; it's simply because they don't know who they are.

So, when someone asks you, "Who are you?" take the opportunity to answer in a way that reflects how you want to be perceived. If you find yourself in the darkness, unsure of who you are, it's a chance for exploration and growth. Start by understanding who you are not, and gradually, you will discover your true self. Remember, being a human being means you have the power to change and evolve at any moment. As you uncover your identity, it will shape your beliefs and how you show up in the world.

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

I once found myself in darkness. It seemed like my whole world was consumed by shadows, and I couldn't understand how I had ended up there. Everything had been going well in my life - my business, my relationships, everything was in perfect harmony. But then, almost out of nowhere, I woke up in a place of deep darkness. It was a place I didn't want to be, a place that didn't align with the life I had envisioned for myself.

In that darkness, I felt alone, disconnected from the people I loved. It was a battle between light and darkness, good and evil, that was taking place within me. And like many others, my first instinct was to seek answers outside of myself. I searched for guidance in churches, books, programs, and therapy. I believed that the light I was seeking could only be found out there in the world.

But what I didn't realize then was that the light was already within me. I had the power to illuminate my own path, to find my way back to the light. I just needed to learn how to turn it on. I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, consuming every resource I could find that resonated with me. I immersed myself in teachings, coaching, and personal development.

Gradually, my life started to restore itself. I brought heaven to earth through the joy, fulfillment, and deep connections I experienced. It felt like a victory like I had finally reached the place I had been searching for. But just as I had anticipated, the darkness returned, stronger and more evolved than before.

You never know what God has in store for you as you listen to this message. I believe you are deeply connected to your faith and spirituality or have been away for a while, making excuses to ignore the truth that you are part of something bigger, something interconnected. Life is a dance between light and dark, and we can never escape either.

Perhaps this time, you will find yourself entering someone else's darkness, helping them discover the light within. If that's the case, remember the beginning of this journey where you were searching desperately for anything to guide you out of your own hellish situation. There is a pathway, one of many, that represents a door you can open. It will lead you to a new season of your life, where you will do the necessary work to become a warrior in God's Army of Light. The world needs you right now.

" O Holy Spirit, descend plentifully into my heart. Enlighten the dark corners of this neglected dwelling and scatter there Thy cheerful beams." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: chivalry.scendancy.com

Today, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I believe it's something many of us can relate to. You see, I've been reflecting on a powerful message from the Bible, specifically Matthew 15:13, which says, "Every plant my Heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots."

As I've been working with my clients and the people I serve, one topic that keeps resurfacing is the struggle with connection, especially in marriages. It's something I've witnessed and experienced firsthand. You know, when you're carrying a heavy burden, facing challenges in your relationship, it can feel incredibly isolating. You find yourself longing for that deep connection you once had with your spouse, but it seems to have slipped away.

For many men I've worked with, this lack of connection extends beyond their marriages. They feel a disconnection within themselves, as if they're drifting through life without any real purpose or grounding. They try to fill the void with distractions, escaping from the pain and difficulties they're facing. Whether it's addiction, running away from their problems, or simply feeling lost and alone, they're desperately seeking a way to navigate through the darkness.

It becomes a recurring pattern. We were created in the image of God, with the Holy Spirit within us, but somehow we lose sight of that connection. It's like we're constantly pulled between two opposing forces, constantly dancing between light and dark, good and evil. We can't escape this contrast, and it affects every aspect of our lives.

So, if you're in a place where you feel disconnected, know that you're not alone. There is hope for restoration and renewed connection. It starts with acknowledging the need for change, seeking guidance, and embarking on a journey of self-discovery. As we uproot the negative patterns and false beliefs, we can open ourselves up to a deeper connection with God, ourselves, and our loved ones.

Remember, this journey is not about reaching a destination where everything is perfect. It's about embracing the contrast. We have the power to break the cycle and not pass on these limiting beliefs to future generations. It starts with us, stepping out of victimhood and embracing a willingness to explore and seek. You have a pathway forward, my friend.

"Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe. - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

Today, I want to dive into an interesting topic that came up recently thanks to a friend of mine. They shared a quote with me, jokingly asking if it sounded like something I would say in a sermon. As I read it, I couldn't help but see the flawed logic in it.

The quote suggested that the moon is more useful than the sun because it gives us light at night when it's dark, while the sun only shines during the day when it's already bright. Well, obviously, I don't agree with that reasoning. The sun is what makes it bright outside in the first place. But as I pondered further, I realized there was a story hidden within those words.

As I continue on this journey of delivering my message, I've come to accept that not everyone will connect with it. And that's perfectly fine because the impact of my words on those who do resonate can make a significant difference. While I may not always hear directly from listeners, I've learned that the effects of my message can ripple through unexpected channels, reaching people I never even knew were listening.

So, the first lesson here is to keep communicating, even if your message doesn't reach everyone. Embrace the fact that it won't resonate universally and focus on the impact it has on those who truly need to hear it. Remember, the absence of feedback doesn't mean your message isn't making a difference.

In my own journey as a parent, I've realized the value of having friends who challenge my perspectives and offer different viewpoints. These friends are like true brothers, and I deeply appreciate their ability to make me see beyond my own limited viewpoint. It's crucial to surround ourselves with people who don't always agree with us but provide us with hard truths and different perspectives.

So, as you navigate through life, remember to embrace the diversity of opinions and perspectives around you. Cherish the friendships that offer you new ways of seeing the world. And most importantly, keep sharing your message, even if it doesn't resonate with everyone. The impact you have on those who connect with it is what truly matters.

"There is no better proof of friendship than to help our friends with their burdens." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com and to access training for yourself, relationship with your spouse and children, register here: https://bit.ly/a-fresh-start-family for as low as $48/month

Today I want to have a personal conversation with you about natural talents, gifts, and abilities.

When I first embarked on this journey with the people I work with, we started by assessing their strengths. It was fascinating to see how most individuals, including myself, initially react to the results. We often find ourselves nodding in agreement, recognizing the talents that are already familiar to us. It's comforting to have our existing knowledge validated.

It's not uncommon to connect with individuals who share a few common talent areas. And that's great! When we review the results, we focus on the top 10 and bottom 10 talents. It's important to note that we don't invest time in developing talents that fall at the bottom. Why? Because according to strengths-based psychology, dedicating energy to strengthening weaknesses often leads to mediocrity at best.

The goal is to transform our talents into elite strengths—performing at a level that surpasses expectations. Anyone attempting to develop a weakness that happens to be a strength for me would struggle to reach the same level of proficiency. They would burn a lot of energy because executing tasks in our areas of weakness requires immense effort.

So, today, I invite you to reflect on your own strengths. What are you naturally good at? What comes to you almost effortlessly, as if it's second nature? Take some time to consider these areas and how they contribute to your overall fulfillment. Are you currently utilizing your natural talents enough in your life? Do they bring you joy and satisfaction?

If you find that you're not incorporating your natural talents into your life as much as you'd like, it may be time to explore how you can leverage them more. By doing so, you can create a happier and more fulfilling experience in your relationships, career, and personal life.

"Whatever skills I have acquired, whatever I have been given, I place them in your service." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com and to access training for yourself, relationship with your spouse and children, register here: https://bit.ly/a-fresh-start-family for as low as $48/month

Today I want to talk about something personal and close to my heart: inheriting limiting beliefs from our parents.

First things first, let's talk about my own family background. Unlike some others, I didn't grow up in a broken family. My parents are still happily married, and I didn't witness them arguing or any kind of physical violence. From my father, I inherited something truly valuable: the belief that chivalry is not dead. You know, I recently realized that this message of respect and honor towards women runs deep in our family history.

Watching my dad stand by my mom's side, through thick and thin, taught me so much about what it means to be in a loving and committed relationship. His sense of humor, his dedication, and his expertise in sales all shaped my understanding of how to build strong connections with others. He became my role model, and every relationship I've had in my life has been measured against the gold standard he set.

On the flip side, I've also witnessed many men who come from broken homes or challenging family backgrounds. Some grew up without a father figure or experienced abuse within their families. It breaks my heart to hear these stories. When we're raised in such environments, it's hard not to inherit the models our parents unknowingly pass on to us.

If we haven't put in the work to better ourselves, we might not even realize that we're living by our parents' limiting beliefs. They didn't provide us with an instruction manual on how to navigate relationships or be the best versions of ourselves. We're left to figure it out on our own. And let me tell you, it's not an easy journey.

We need to engage in introspection, analyze our beliefs and experiences, and identify anything that doesn't belong within us. Releasing this trapped energy creates space within us, allowing us to create new beliefs aligned with our true selves as intended by God. However, the real challenge arises when we must rewrite the neural pathways in our brains, which have been conditioned to respond in certain ways to specific situations. Dark forces will try to tempt us back into the same destructive lies, convincing us that we are unworthy, unloved, and not accepted. They will tempt us to prove ourselves right by seeking out situations that reinforce these negative beliefs.

That's why it's crucial for you, after hearing this message, to take stock of your life. Pay attention to the repetitive patterns and situations that keep occurring. It's a sign that God is trying to show you something, and you need to explore it further.

"I will plant my feet on that step where my parents put me as a child until self-evident truth comes to light."— Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com and to access training for yourself, relationship with your spouse and children, register here: https://bit.ly/a-fresh-start-family for as low as $48/month

Today we're going to talk about a topic that hits close to home: providing is not enough. I've seen this struggle in the men I've worked with over the years, and I've personally fallen into the same trap.

Let me take you back to my own experience. I met the love of my life, we built a relationship together, got engaged, and decided to get married. We were starting out, and income was a concern. We didn't have enough to create the life we wanted. In those early stages of marriage, we were focused on building a future together, which meant generating income. Relationships today come in different configurations. It could be the traditional setup where dad is the breadwinner and mom takes care of the kids or works part-time. Or it could be both parents pursuing careers or even a scenario where dad stays at home while mom is the breadwinner. The possibilities are endless.

You know, I've come to realize that being self-actualized means being truthful and accepting myself and others exactly as we are. I've learned that I can't convince or change anyone, as people will make their own choices and live with the consequences. It's a hard truth, but it's the reality. Of course, for my loved ones, I offer guidance, care, and share my beliefs to support them on their journey. But when it comes to the rest of the world, I've come to understand that everyone is on their own path, regardless of where they currently stand.

For me, I've always felt called to be a great father of humanity. This calling has been with me since before I was born, as my mother wrote me a letter shortly after my birth, recounting how God revealed that I would be a leader of mankind. Discovering this letter a couple of summers ago reaffirmed my purpose and strengthened my resolve.

Self-actualization is also about growth and self-discovery. It's about constantly striving for mastery and deeper experiences in relationships with our spouses, with God, and in serving others. It's not about anything external—it's about uncovering what we need to learn to create success, value, and impact as we actively shape the world.

"This is what marriage is all about - Man and woman walking together, wherein the husband helps his wife to become ever more a woman, and wherein the woman has the task of helping her husband to become ever more a man." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com and to access training for yourself, relationship with your spouse and children, register here: https://bit.ly/a-fresh-start-family for as low as $48/month

I wanted to share a saying that my grandfather once told me before he passed away. It really struck a chord with me and made me think deeply about its meaning. He said, "I have never met anybody in my life who's had to use the eraser end of the pencil more than you."

You see, a pencil has two ends—the writing end and the eraser end. When my grandfather said that I used the eraser end a lot, he wasn't criticizing me. He was actually appreciating my willingness to make mistakes and learn from them. He understood that growth and progress are impossible without encountering failures along the way.

I've always been open with my children about the importance of embracing mistakes and not fearing them. Unlike some parents who put immense pressure on their kids to achieve perfect grades, I wanted my children to approach learning with a growth mindset. I didn't want them to associate a wrong answer with personal failure or disappointment from me.

So, if you're a dad or anyone listening to this podcast, and you find yourself hesitant to make decisions or paralyzed by overthinking, remember the lesson my grandfather taught me. Don't be afraid to use the eraser end of the pencil. Embrace your mistakes and failures as opportunities to learn and grow. Take bold steps towards your goals, knowing that missteps are part of the journey.

So, let's all go out there today with courage and resilience. Let's not be afraid to use the eraser end of the pencil.

"Waste time with your children, so that they can realize that love is always free." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com and to access training for yourself, relationship with your spouse and children, register here: https://bit.ly/a-fresh-start-family for as low as $48/month